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Calvinball!

TheTruthAnalyst
Posts: 312
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11/28/2011 10:34:32 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
I've never played Calvinball, but I've always wanted to. In case you don't know what it is, it only has one rule:

You can never play the same way twice.

Meaning, the 'goal' is constantly changing, and rules/restrictions can only be used once.

I will start things off. TheTruthAnalyst is on the red team with the ball. He bounces the ball off the top-wall toward the wicket zone...
Vote For Truth. Vote For Pie.
Truth-Pie 2012 (member FDIC)
Chrysippus
Posts: 2,173
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11/28/2011 11:49:33 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/28/2011 10:34:32 PM, TheTruthAnalyst wrote:
I've never played Calvinball, but I've always wanted to. In case you don't know what it is, it only has one rule:

You can never play the same way twice.

Meaning, the 'goal' is constantly changing, and rules/restrictions can only be used once.

I will start things off. TheTruthAnalyst is on the red team with the ball. He bounces the ball off the top-wall toward the wicket zone...

Chrysippus is on the octahedral team with the spiky shoulder pads. He moves your wicket to e8! Your goalie is in check!
Cavete mea inexorabilis legiones mimus!
tvellalott
Posts: 10,864
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11/29/2011 12:36:40 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
TV enters the field with a bolt-action rifle with a high-precision scope and snipes the ball.
"Caitlyn Jenner is an incredibly brave and stunningly beautiful woman."

Muh threads
Using mafia tactics in real-life: http://www.debate.org...
6 years of DDO: http://www.debate.org...
TheTruthAnalyst
Posts: 312
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11/29/2011 1:12:16 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
Truth puts TV in the penalty hole for depressurization and knocks Chrysippus' game board into the red zone.
Vote For Truth. Vote For Pie.
Truth-Pie 2012 (member FDIC)
Chrysippus
Posts: 2,173
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11/29/2011 11:54:34 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/29/2011 10:39:31 AM, drafterman wrote:
Rocks fall. Everyone dies.

http://www.somethingpositive.net...

Asteroids fall. Drafterman is hospitalized, goes into a conscious vegetative state, and remains that way est of his life. He lives to be 104.

Truth looks flushed after all the effort of last round.

In the red zone, Chrysippus finds Izbo10 and Mr. Infidel arguing, and adds them to his hand. He now has three twos and both jokers: five of a kind beats Truth's flush.
Cavete mea inexorabilis legiones mimus!
TheTruthAnalyst
Posts: 312
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11/29/2011 12:26:28 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Chrysippus' hand unlocks the path-gate, opening up the trans-gravitational field for play.

Truth drinks a Gatorade Recover 03, Tropical Sunrise, and gains 11 points in stamina.

TV makes a visit to drafterman in the hospital. His mood decreases from 'miffed' to 'despondent', causing a penalty in all mood-based rolls in the 3rd level of the dungeon.
Vote For Truth. Vote For Pie.
Truth-Pie 2012 (member FDIC)
SuperRobotWars
Posts: 3,906
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11/29/2011 5:45:04 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Steal someone else's identity to go over 9,000.
Minister Of Trolling
: At 12/6/2011 2:21:41 PM, badger wrote:
: ugly people should beat beautiful people ugly. simple! you'd be killing two birds with the one stone... women like violent men and you're making yourself more attractive, relatively. i met a blonde dude who was prettier than me not so long ago. he's not so pretty now! ha!
:
: ...and well, he wasn't really prettier than me. he just had nice hair.
DetectableNinja
Posts: 6,043
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11/29/2011 7:49:52 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Dninja rolls the dice of destiny: snake eyes, causing the gatekeeper to level zero to open the gate, as a transdimensional Rancor chases all players into level zero.
Think'st thou heaven is such a glorious thing?
I tell thee, 'tis not half so fair as thou
Or any man that breathes on earth.

- Christopher Marlowe, Doctor Faustus
F-16_Fighting_Falcon
Posts: 18,324
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11/29/2011 7:52:14 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
So we can just type anything?

Okay, an F16 swoops down onto DNinja and shoots two missiles at TV who gets the full blast of it. TV and DNinja are now dead unless they can come back as zombies.
DetectableNinja
Posts: 6,043
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11/29/2011 7:54:51 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
A gravekeeper orc stumbles on the remains of Dninja and TV, and casts the Reincarnation Harpoon into their abdomens.

TV and Dninja have risen once more.
Think'st thou heaven is such a glorious thing?
I tell thee, 'tis not half so fair as thou
Or any man that breathes on earth.

- Christopher Marlowe, Doctor Faustus
F-16_Fighting_Falcon
Posts: 18,324
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11/29/2011 9:04:04 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
A meteor then falls from the sky and goes straight for DNinja. DNinja runs away from the meteor but it falls in the same direction as he is going. He keeps running hoping to avoid it, but it falls flat on his head. DNinja is dead again.
DetectableNinja
Posts: 6,043
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11/29/2011 9:11:20 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/29/2011 9:04:04 PM, F-16_Fighting_Falcon wrote:
A meteor then falls from the sky and goes straight for DNinja. DNinja runs away from the meteor but it falls in the same direction as he is going. He keeps running hoping to avoid it, but it falls flat on his head. DNinja is dead again.

In the ethereal realm, Dninja makes a devil's bargain with Chris the Christmas tree. He earns +2 charisma cards.
Think'st thou heaven is such a glorious thing?
I tell thee, 'tis not half so fair as thou
Or any man that breathes on earth.

- Christopher Marlowe, Doctor Faustus
TheTruthAnalyst
Posts: 312
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11/29/2011 9:13:31 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/29/2011 9:04:04 PM, F-16_Fighting_Falcon wrote:
A meteor then falls from the sky and goes straight for DNinja. DNinja runs away from the meteor but it falls in the same direction as he is going. He keeps running hoping to avoid it, but it falls flat on his head. DNinja is dead again.

F-16 has broken the sole rule of Calvinball, and must be punished. We already had meteorites. As such, F-16 has his wings taken away and is dishonorably discharged.

Lose 2 turns.
Vote For Truth. Vote For Pie.
Truth-Pie 2012 (member FDIC)
TheTruthAnalyst
Posts: 312
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11/29/2011 9:16:04 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Truth sneaks into the trans-gravitational field while everyone is busy fighting, hits Ender with the Quaffle, and scores 2 points for red team by doing a crooked cartwheel across the strobe light.
Vote For Truth. Vote For Pie.
Truth-Pie 2012 (member FDIC)
DetectableNinja
Posts: 6,043
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11/29/2011 9:21:49 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Dninja dons his venetian doctor mask, and, taking the talking head of Col. Sanders for three laps round the Large Hadron Collider before bombing the enemy's central air unit, making for a very muggy July.

3 vengence accolades to Dninja, plus 1 style trophy.
Think'st thou heaven is such a glorious thing?
I tell thee, 'tis not half so fair as thou
Or any man that breathes on earth.

- Christopher Marlowe, Doctor Faustus
TheTruthAnalyst
Posts: 312
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11/29/2011 9:24:55 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Truth places a tracking device on 'Da Ninja' for use in the tactical nuclear strike during the 'reticulating splines' phase.
Vote For Truth. Vote For Pie.
Truth-Pie 2012 (member FDIC)
phantom
Posts: 6,774
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11/30/2011 10:22:54 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Phantom eats truths running mate, pie, for breakfast. And frames truth for the deed by putting crumbs on his clothes. And prior to eating him, copying pies handwriting and writing a complaint to the police about truths recently lustful stares.

Truth is sentenced by the supreme court of banana fish to be striped naked, smothered in semen, thrown into a very small confinement with 5 other naked hairy men with herpes where he will spend the rest of his life.
"Music is a zen-like ecstatic state where you become the new man of the future, the Nietzschean merger of Apollo and Dionysus." Ray Manzarek (The Doors)
tvellalott
Posts: 10,864
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11/30/2011 10:25:49 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
TV returns as a zombie and falls upon F-16's screaming body and rips him to pieces, eating his intestines like sausages.
"Caitlyn Jenner is an incredibly brave and stunningly beautiful woman."

Muh threads
Using mafia tactics in real-life: http://www.debate.org...
6 years of DDO: http://www.debate.org...
M.Torres
Posts: 3,626
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11/30/2011 10:26:38 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
M.Torres walks onto the field, and does the macarena. He scores 20 points for Slytherin.
: At 11/28/2011 1:28:24 PM, BlackVoid wrote:
: M. Torres said it, so it must be right.

I'm an Apatheistic Ignostic. ... problem? ;D

I believe in the heart of the cards. .:DDO Duelist:.
Chrysippus
Posts: 2,173
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12/3/2011 3:31:50 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Chrys steals the ball by the judicious use of a proton telescope, and shuffles it past the Judge and two Violincellos for 15 yards in a rhomboidal pattern. He then passes the ball through n+1 dimensions to have it arrive at the very same spot 30 years later, in pieces.

Thumpers are high; 2 score.
Cavete mea inexorabilis legiones mimus!
Chrysippus
Posts: 2,173
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12/3/2011 3:32:41 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/30/2011 11:56:00 PM, Viper-King wrote:
VIPER-KING hits the ball back to TheTruth guy and gets 20 points.

*the crowd watches in amazement as Viper dies of a chronic lack of imagination*
Cavete mea inexorabilis legiones mimus!
PartamRuhem
Posts: 1,559
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12/3/2011 4:14:17 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
PartamRuhem gets up, and the whole field shakes and rumbles, for he is the field. He takes both his mouths *goals* and closes them, crushing Chrissypus inside. Chris is not dead, however, for now he must beat a polka doted robot to the end of a labyrinth that is the field-monster's stomach, and make it out the end, which is the anus. If the robot makes it out first, total anarchy will swallow all 7 kingdoms of man and the field-monsters will rise to conquer the universe with the help of bees that are made out of crystals.
Chrysippus
Posts: 2,173
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12/3/2011 4:47:19 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 12/3/2011 4:14:17 PM, PartamRuhem wrote:
If the robot makes it out first, total anarchy will swallow all 7 kingdoms of man and the field-monsters will rise to conquer the universe with the help of bees that are made out of crystals.

Sounds like fun. Chrys stays inside, sets up a pizza parlour near the middle of the labyrinth, and places bets on the field-monsters.
Cavete mea inexorabilis legiones mimus!
SuperRobotWars
Posts: 3,906
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12/3/2011 4:54:38 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
I take out a water gun and fill it with Scotch and shoot it at the field goals.
Minister Of Trolling
: At 12/6/2011 2:21:41 PM, badger wrote:
: ugly people should beat beautiful people ugly. simple! you'd be killing two birds with the one stone... women like violent men and you're making yourself more attractive, relatively. i met a blonde dude who was prettier than me not so long ago. he's not so pretty now! ha!
:
: ...and well, he wasn't really prettier than me. he just had nice hair.
TheTruthAnalyst
Posts: 312
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12/3/2011 4:56:00 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 12/3/2011 4:54:38 PM, SuperRobotWars wrote:
I take out a water gun and fill it with Scotch and shoot it at the field goals.

Truth gets tipsy from the Scotch and falls over. The Answer-Pen vanishes, and the field monster has to go back 2 spaces.
Vote For Truth. Vote For Pie.
Truth-Pie 2012 (member FDIC)
SuperRobotWars
Posts: 3,906
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12/3/2011 4:58:13 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
I smoke a joint so the field monster has to be strapped to fireworks and whether or not its head melts/comes off determines if I get to replace the Scotch with Rum.
Minister Of Trolling
: At 12/6/2011 2:21:41 PM, badger wrote:
: ugly people should beat beautiful people ugly. simple! you'd be killing two birds with the one stone... women like violent men and you're making yourself more attractive, relatively. i met a blonde dude who was prettier than me not so long ago. he's not so pretty now! ha!
:
: ...and well, he wasn't really prettier than me. he just had nice hair.
SuperRobotWars
Posts: 3,906
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12/6/2011 8:55:00 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Resurrect thread for +25 demerits.
Minister Of Trolling
: At 12/6/2011 2:21:41 PM, badger wrote:
: ugly people should beat beautiful people ugly. simple! you'd be killing two birds with the one stone... women like violent men and you're making yourself more attractive, relatively. i met a blonde dude who was prettier than me not so long ago. he's not so pretty now! ha!
:
: ...and well, he wasn't really prettier than me. he just had nice hair.