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The Book of Mafia

drafterman
Posts: 18,870
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6/8/2012 12:55:27 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Book 1
1 In the beginning Mod created the Town.
2 And the Town was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the Town.
3 And Mod said, Let there be light: and there was light.
4 And Mod saw the the light, and it was good: and Mod divided the light from the darkness.
5 And Mod called the light the Day Phase, and the darkness he called the Night Phase.
6 And Mod said, Let us make Townspeople in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the Town.
7 So Mod created Townspeople in his own imagine, in the image of Mod created he him; male and female created he them.
8 And Mod blessed them, and Mod said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the Town, and subdue it.
9 And Mod saw everything that he had made, and, behold, it was very good.

Book 2
1 And the Mod planted a garden in the Town; and there he put the Townspeople whom he had formed.
2 And the Mod took the Townspeople, and put them into the garden to dress it and to keep it.
3 And the Mod commanded the Townspeople, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat:
4 But of the tree of the knowledge of Innocent and Guilty, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the Day Phase that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely be Lynched.
5 Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field in which the Mod had made. And he said unto the Townspeople, Ye shall not surely die:
6 For Mod doth know that in the Day Phase ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as Mods, knowing Innocent and Guilty.
7 And when the Townspeople saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, they took of the fruit thereof, and did eat.
8 And the Mod called unto the Townspeople, and said unto them, Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?
9 And the Townspeople said, The serpent beguiled us, and we did eat.
10 And the Mod said, Behold, the Townspeople are become as one of us, to know Innocent and Guilty: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:
11 Therefore the Mod sent the Townspeople forth from the garden, and drove out the Townspeople.

Book 3
1 And the Townspeople knew each other; and they conceived, and bore other Townspeople.
2 Among the Town was Vanilla, a keeper of sheep, and Goon, a Tiller of the ground.
3 And the Mod had respect unto the offerings of Vanilla, but unto Goon and to his offerings he had not respect. And Goon was very wroth, and his countenance fell.
4 And Goon talked with Vanilla his borther: and it came to pass one Night Phase, when they were in the field, that Goon rose up against Vanilla his brother, and slew him.
5 And the Mod said, What has thou done? The voice of thy brother's blood crieth unto me from the ground.
6 Since thou killest during the Night Phase, the Night Phase shall belong to ye, and thou kin, who shalt from now on be Guilty.
7 And Goon went out from the presence of the Mod, and dwelt in the land of Mafia, on the east of the Town.
8 And Goon knew others, and conceived other Goons.

Book 4
1 Soon it came to pass that the goons had conceived in great numbers and bore the vegneance of their father and were wroth against the Townspeople.
2 And the goons amassed a great army to beset upon the Town.
3 But it was the Day Phase, and they bore the curse of their father to march only in the Night Phase.
4 But the goons were Guilty, and capricious, and impatient, so some said: We are not our father, who bore this curse. We shalt march in the Day Phase
5 And of the army, numbering the same as the Townspeople, one half rose up to attack the Town.
6 And the Mod saw this, and appeared before the thems, and said:
7 Thou violate thy curse that was laid upon thy father and his kin. You art an enemy to the Day Phase and the Day Phase is an enemy to you.
8 And the light of the Day Phase shone with great intensity, and smote the goons who had marched against the Town.
9 And to the remaining half, who had not marched, the Mod said:
10 Thou I shalt spare, but curse you further: No more than a half of the count of the Townspeople ye shalt be, a third of the count of all people, lest ye suffer like thy kin.
11 And the Goons were awed, and in fear, and fled back to the land of Mafia.

Book 5
1 And the Townspeople bore and conceived more Townspeople; and the Goons bore and conceived more Goons;
2 And the Town grew, and the land of Mafia grew, and their borders met, and crossed, and became one, that was just the Town.
3 And then the Goons lived among the Townspeople, but were ever wrothful, bearing the curse of their father
4 And, each Night Phase, the Goons would slay a Townsperson in offering to their father.
5 And the Townspeople were angry, and fearful, but could not tell Townsperson from Goon, and prayed to the Mod for help.
6 And the Mod came upon the Town, and said:
7 The Goons who were your brothers live amongst ye, but thou too bear the curse of thy fathers, who ate of the tree of knowledge of Innocent and Guilty.
8 This knowledge is hidden from ye, but it shalt be revealed upon death.
9 And the Townspeople said: but how shalt we reveal this knowledge, lest we kill, and be like Goons, who we fear?
10 And the Mod said: Each in the Town shalt name another, or thy self, or no one; and the votes shalt be talleyed, and that which is most counted, shalt be slain, and it shalt be called a Lynched; And who is lynched shalt die, and Innocence and Guilt shalt be revealed.
11 And the Lynch shalt end the Day Phase, and herald the Night Phase.
12 Be warned: Thou takest matters in to thine own hands; shouldest thou Lynch that who is Innocent, this shalt be called a Mislynch; and shouldest the numbers of the Townspeople equal the numbers of the Goons; the Town shalt fall, and the Goons shalt reign.

Book 6
1 There was one among the Town who was noble, who named only those who were Guilty to be lynched, and spared those were Innocent.
2 And the Mod game unto him, and said:
3 Thou art good, and true, and thy wisdom makes the Town strong.
4 But thy brethren heed ye not, and Lynch others who are Innocent, and heed the words of those who are Guilty
5 And the Townsperson said: I offer the wisdom I have, but it is not enough. The Townspeople do not listen to words, and heed not the behaviors of others, which are clear to me.
6 And the Mod said: to thou I shalt grant a power. Thou shalt be a beacon of light during the Night Phase, which belongs to the Goons.
7 Thou shalt move during the Night, and visit others of the Town, and your light shalt reveal truly their Guilt or Innocence.
8 And thou shalt use this wisedom to counsel the Town, and guide them, and to Lynch only those who are Guilty, and spare those who are Innocent. And thou shalt be named Cop.
9 And Cop thank the Mod, and went unto the Town, and revealed the Innocent and Guilty of those of the Town. And it was good.

Book 7
1 And the Cop beget other Cops, who went unto the Night and shown the beacon of the Light of the Day Phase, and brought to town the knowledge of their Guilt and Innocence.
2 And the Goons were fearful and trembled before this beacon.
3 One amongst the Goons, who led the Goons, and instructed them on who to kill, rose, and said:
4 I fear not this beacon of Light. We are the kin of our father, who slew his brother. So shall we slay the Townspeople.
5 'Lo we have become proud, and open, and our Guilt reveals us. To hide from this light we must be as the Townspeople are, and conceal our intents, and our acts.
6 And the leader of the Goons walked out into the night, and sought out the Cop
7 And the Cop shone his light upon the Goon, and it revealed him as Innocent, and the Goon was spared.
8 And the Goons marveled at this, who were Guilty, and they named him Godfather.
bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
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6/8/2012 1:10:36 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
You are my new favorite person. Ever.
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush
drafterman
Posts: 18,870
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6/8/2012 1:55:58 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/8/2012 1:48:24 PM, Viper-King wrote:
Drafterman? Can you do more? I swear you are God.

I'm working on more, will probably post it on Monday.
TUF
Posts: 21,309
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6/8/2012 2:57:15 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
That was incredibily interesting and hilarious. I want more! This should act as the source we reference noobs to when they ask how to play mafia haha
"I've got to go and grab a shirt" ~ Airmax1227
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,448
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6/8/2012 3:06:22 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
LMFAO, this is absolute genius. Drafter is now my hero.
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
medic0506
Posts: 13,450
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6/8/2012 3:07:33 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Is it wrong for a Christian to find this entertaining?? I hope not.

I can't wait for the part where the mod becomes corrupt and begins decieving the townspeople with false results and graveyard trickery. An abomination it shall be.
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,448
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6/8/2012 3:08:37 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/8/2012 3:07:33 PM, medic0506 wrote:
Is it wrong for a Christian to find this entertaining?? I hope not.

I can't wait for the part where the mod becomes corrupt and begins decieving the townspeople with false results and graveyard trickery. An abomination it shall be.

lols
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
OberHerr
Posts: 13,062
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6/8/2012 3:09:43 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/8/2012 3:07:33 PM, medic0506 wrote:
Is it wrong for a Christian to find this entertaining?? I hope not.


I think its ok.

I can't wait for the part where the mod becomes corrupt and begins decieving the townspeople with false results and graveyard trickery. An abomination it shall be.

)
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OBERHERR'S SIGNATURE-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

Official Enforcer for the DDO Elite(if they existed).

"Cases are anti-town." - FourTrouble

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Buddamoose
Posts: 19,448
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6/8/2012 3:11:46 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/8/2012 3:09:44 PM, TUF wrote:
I want to write the next part!

The Book of TP's. :)
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
UnStupendousMan
Posts: 3,475
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6/8/2012 5:34:48 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/8/2012 5:23:47 PM, vmpire321 wrote:
~~~HAIL DRAFTER~~~

Our new mafia overlord has arrived.

~~~HAIL DRAFTER~~~

Hasn't he always been our mafia overlord?
vmpire321
Posts: 4,731
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6/8/2012 5:35:11 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/8/2012 5:34:48 PM, UnStupendousMan wrote:
At 6/8/2012 5:23:47 PM, vmpire321 wrote:
~~~HAIL DRAFTER~~~

Our new mafia overlord has arrived.

~~~HAIL DRAFTER~~~

Hasn't he always been our mafia overlord?

good point.
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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6/8/2012 6:11:57 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
haha Wowie. Nicely done.
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
medic0506
Posts: 13,450
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6/9/2012 5:34:21 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Lemedicus 1:

1. Thou shalt not lie to like kind, it is an abomination.
2. If thou try to draw the night kill, thou shall be subtle so as not to be cc'd. A cc'd townie is an abomination.
3. Thou shalt go with the results until they prove false, failure to do so is an abomination.
4. Thou shalt not spam the game thread, it is an abomination.
5. Thou shalt read the words contained on the pages of the game thread, and think for thyself. A bandwagon, or uneducated, vote is an abomination.

If thou mislyncheth Medic, thou hath commited the unforgiveable trespass.
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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6/9/2012 7:28:23 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Wow, this needs to stop. If we ever get to a new testament, that might mean the end of mafia as we know it.
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,448
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2/25/2013 9:52:15 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Book 9

1 The townsfolk and goons did quarrel between themselves
2 and the mod was pleased.
3 The mod did command unto the goons, that they should not quarrel amongsth themselves
4 But one goon did not listen to the mod, and quarreled with his fellow goons
5 And the mod was displeased

Book 10

1 The mod did appear to this goon, and asked why he did quarrel with his fellow goons
2 and the goon did reply that he cared for naught but his own survival
3 The mod was shocked by this goons selfishness and saw fit to punish this insolent goon
4 and so the mod did cast this goon out from his fellow goons
5 to walk through town and goons and have no friends to turn to for aid
6 and the mod did call this goon, a survivor
7 Thus Third parties came to be
8 and the mod was pleased, and happy with his judgement
9 for the mod is a good and just mod
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
TheAntidoter
Posts: 4,323
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2/25/2013 10:38:29 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Book 11

1. And the Townspeople Voted, and Multiplied Day phase after night phase
2. And the mod saw that the people must be guided, for the offerings were not good.
3. And so the mod decreed:
4. Thou shalt make a decree unto your fellow townspeople, an offering of your opinion.
5. And so you shall prepare your victim for the mod.
6. And this "Forethought of Sacrifice" shall be a holy term.
7. And the mod decreed, and the people thought fore, and thus the FOS was made.
8. And the mod saw it was good.
Affinity: Fire
Class: Human
Abilities: ????

Nac.

WOAH, COLORED FONT!
TheAntidoter
Posts: 4,323
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2/25/2013 2:33:21 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Book 12
1. And the Survivor was a goon, a goon from the first goon that has slain his brother.
2. And the survivor decided to slay goons in revenge.
3. And the mod was displeased.
4. And the mod Said" Thou has been cursed! No longer shall you be neutral, you shall be evil, and kill all the more. "
5. And the Survivor said" The curse is too great to bear, for I shall surely die!"
6. So the mod said " You shall be immune to the revenge of the goons, you shall not die by bullet, but by votes."
7. And so the Serial Killer was born.
8. Thus the mod declared it as good.
Affinity: Fire
Class: Human
Abilities: ????

Nac.

WOAH, COLORED FONT!
TheAntidoter
Posts: 4,323
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2/25/2013 2:38:43 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Book 13 (Out of I think 50)

1. And so the one who brought light said to the mod "Those that kill are too much to bear, for I cannot survive the dark, even with this light"
2. So the mod said "I shall make a townsperson, An aid to help you. He shall guide your path, and help you thought the valleys."
3. Then the Goons Raised up to slay the Cop, and they failed. The goons bickered among themselves, saying that the mod had doctored the kill"
4. And so the mod decreed, that this aid shall be called the doctor, for he protects the ones who judge the guilty wisely"
5. And the mod saw it was good.
Affinity: Fire
Class: Human
Abilities: ????

Nac.

WOAH, COLORED FONT!
TheAntidoter
Posts: 4,323
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2/26/2013 9:08:46 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Book 14:

1. The townsfolk and goons did quarrel between themselves
2. and the mod was pleased.
3. And the Goons and serial killers killed, and the mod was pleased.
4. And the doctors protected and the cops investigated.
5. And the mod was pleased.
6. And then a town cop was not pleased, for the town did not heed his words.
7. And the mod was displeased.

Book 15.
1. The mod doth appear to thoust cop, and procured the reason for his sadness.
2. And the cop was aroused, and Struck a goon with his weapon.
3. And the mod was displeased.
4. So the mod said "Cursed are you among the Cops! You shall be reduced to the behavior of the goons, killing for your own good.
4. Furthermore, the mod said "You shall have the light taken away from you! And thou shalt shoot in the dark, for you are unworthy of the light.
5. Thou shalt be called vigilante, for you took matters into your own hands.
6. And so after a while, to mod saw that the vig was kind, and indeed worth the trouble of his blessing.
7. And so the mod was once again pleased.
Affinity: Fire
Class: Human
Abilities: ????

Nac.

WOAH, COLORED FONT!
thedebatekid
Posts: 1,211
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2/27/2013 12:59:05 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Might mes to think much time spent this on is.
How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of the tootsie pop? 1, 2, 3, *crunch* SON OF A !@#%!@#$!@$%$^^$$#%!!!

Expanse: Trapped in Reality
- Looking for Criticism
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imabench
Posts: 21,219
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12/12/2013 2:33:52 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Bumping this due its sheer awesomeness
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"
Geogeer: "Nobody is dumb enough to become my protege."

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

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VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015