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Karma: Evil

Rami
Posts: 431
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7/3/2015 4:27:17 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
According to karma, you are punished or rewarded depending on your deeds. Let's try one.

Please try to keep this long.

Start: I kick a squirrel.
TUF
Posts: 21,310
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7/3/2015 7:22:06 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/3/2015 4:27:17 PM, Rami wrote:
According to karma, you are punished or rewarded depending on your deeds. Let's try one.

Please try to keep this long.

Start: I kick a squirrel.

You kicked a squirrel and walk away smugly. Little do you know, that squirrel was the king of a major squirrel tribe and very loved among its fell tree goers. They are livid at the death of King Nut, and want revenge. As you walk away whistling some stupid (like any Katy Perry song) you feel a sharp pain against your temple, and realize a nut just bounced off your head. You turn around only to face a barrage of hundreds of nuts right into your face. Soon you are running, but no, you are not faster than the squirrels. They catch you, pounce on you, and nibble you on yours ears until you bleed. You beg and plead for your life, but they just law and chirp. King Nut never got to plead for his life when you took it from him. Finally the squirrels get bored and think you are dead. They leave off to elect a new squirrel king. As the last one hops out of sight into a tree your last thought is: "I shouldn't have kicked that squirrel."

#karma.

My turn: I cheat on my girlfriend.
"I've got to go and grab a shirt" ~ Airmax1227
RevNge
Posts: 13,835
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7/4/2015 9:59:35 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/3/2015 7:22:06 PM, TUF wrote:
My turn: I cheat on my girlfriend.

You cheat on your girlfriend with an exceptionally beautiful young woman. Eventually, while you are on a date with her, you run into your girlfriend, who then reveals that she was cheating on you first with the young woman, and both of them "break up" with you, even though your relationships were not genuine. As you go home, heartbroken, angry, and somewhat confused, your girlfriend's father, who is even stronger and bigger than you, proceeds to beat you with a metal baseball bat. This is because he believes that you were cheating on her and does not care about his daughter's relationship, as he is an adamant pro-gay supporter, and that day was when the Supreme Court made gay marriage legal.

#love(illuminati)triangle

My turn: I throw a rock at a bunny.
Zaradi
Posts: 14,125
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7/4/2015 4:10:28 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 9:59:35 AM, RevNge wrote:
At 7/3/2015 7:22:06 PM, TUF wrote:
My turn: I cheat on my girlfriend.

You cheat on your girlfriend with an exceptionally beautiful young woman. Eventually, while you are on a date with her, you run into your girlfriend, who then reveals that she was cheating on you first with the young woman, and both of them "break up" with you, even though your relationships were not genuine. As you go home, heartbroken, angry, and somewhat confused, your girlfriend's father, who is even stronger and bigger than you, proceeds to beat you with a metal baseball bat. This is because he believes that you were cheating on her and does not care about his daughter's relationship, as he is an adamant pro-gay supporter, and that day was when the Supreme Court made gay marriage legal.

#love(illuminati)triangle

My turn: I throw a rock at a bunny.

I call dibs on this when I get home from work.
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ResponsiblyIrresponsible
Posts: 12,398
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7/4/2015 4:19:22 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 9:59:35 AM, RevNge wrote:
My turn: I throw a rock at a bunny.

y u hate meh
~ResponsiblyIrresponsible

DDO's Economics Messiah
Lee001
Posts: 3,168
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7/4/2015 4:20:57 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 4:19:22 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 9:59:35 AM, RevNge wrote:
My turn: I throw a rock at a bunny.

y u hate meh

Cause you suck!
"Condoms are societal constructs created by the government to restrain 'Murican freedom!"-SolonKR

"But I jest and digress (sick rhymes, yo); every boob is equal in the eyes of the Lord."- SolonKR

"Oh Hey, Seeing Artichokes Makes Me Want to Have Sex."- SolonKR

"Yep, but anyone who touches my hair immediately ascends to the heavens..You're already an angel, so touching my hair can do nothing <3" -SolonKR

My hubby Hayd <3 <3
ResponsiblyIrresponsible
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7/4/2015 4:21:29 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 4:20:57 PM, Lee001 wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:19:22 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 9:59:35 AM, RevNge wrote:
My turn: I throw a rock at a bunny.

y u hate meh

Cause you suck!

Naw, not anymore.
~ResponsiblyIrresponsible

DDO's Economics Messiah
ResponsiblyIrresponsible
Posts: 12,398
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7/4/2015 4:26:24 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 9:59:35 AM, RevNge wrote:
My turn: I throw a rock at a bunny.

You throw a rock at a bunny after it defeated you 200 straight times in chess, because as we all know, bunnies are exceptionally intelligent. In fact, so angry was Rev that he created a rock catapult, and each time he wound it up he would utter his signature line, "Why you hate me?", but with horrid spelling (of note is that the bunny was a national spelling bee champion). Little did Rev know, however, that the bunny had a black belt in Kung Fu, an automatic machine rifle in his back pocket, and a taser. Rev's smirk soon turned to tears and pleas for his life. Suffice it to say, he was never heard from again.

My turn: I, the bunny Rev threw a rock at, day-vigged him.
~ResponsiblyIrresponsible

DDO's Economics Messiah
Zaradi
Posts: 14,125
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7/4/2015 4:37:02 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 4:26:24 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:

Dick...I had so many good jokes planned....
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ResponsiblyIrresponsible
Posts: 12,398
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7/4/2015 4:40:25 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 4:37:02 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:26:24 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:

Dick...I had so many good jokes planned....

Redo it then, lol.

Heck, how about this:

My (second) turn: I throw a rock at a bunny.

Go.
~ResponsiblyIrresponsible

DDO's Economics Messiah
Zaradi
Posts: 14,125
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7/4/2015 4:41:53 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 4:40:25 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:37:02 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:26:24 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:

Dick...I had so many good jokes planned....

Redo it then, lol.

Heck, how about this:

My (second) turn: I throw a rock at a bunny.

Go.

Nope. You ruined it. I'll have to go off of your day Vig one.
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ResponsiblyIrresponsible
Posts: 12,398
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7/4/2015 4:43:41 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 4:41:53 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:40:25 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:37:02 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:26:24 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:

Dick...I had so many good jokes planned....

Redo it then, lol.

Heck, how about this:

My (second) turn: I throw a rock at a bunny.

Go.

Nope. You ruined it. I'll have to go off of your day Vig one.

Can't I just change my turn from the day-vig to the rock?
~ResponsiblyIrresponsible

DDO's Economics Messiah
Zaradi
Posts: 14,125
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7/4/2015 4:47:36 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 4:43:41 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:41:53 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:40:25 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:37:02 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:26:24 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:

Dick...I had so many good jokes planned....

Redo it then, lol.

Heck, how about this:

My (second) turn: I throw a rock at a bunny.

Go.

Nope. You ruined it. I'll have to go off of your day Vig one.

Can't I just change my turn from the day-vig to the rock?

http://everyboty.net...
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ResponsiblyIrresponsible
Posts: 12,398
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7/4/2015 4:48:26 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 4:47:36 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:43:41 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:41:53 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:40:25 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:37:02 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:26:24 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:

Dick...I had so many good jokes planned....

Redo it then, lol.

Heck, how about this:

My (second) turn: I throw a rock at a bunny.

Go.

Nope. You ruined it. I'll have to go off of your day Vig one.

Can't I just change my turn from the day-vig to the rock?

http://everyboty.net...

Then write one for the day-vig, I'll write something for your response, and then my next turn will be on the rock.

Deal?
~ResponsiblyIrresponsible

DDO's Economics Messiah
Zaradi
Posts: 14,125
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7/4/2015 4:50:24 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 4:48:26 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:47:36 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:43:41 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:41:53 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:40:25 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:37:02 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:26:24 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:

Dick...I had so many good jokes planned....

Redo it then, lol.

Heck, how about this:

My (second) turn: I throw a rock at a bunny.

Go.

Nope. You ruined it. I'll have to go off of your day Vig one.

Can't I just change my turn from the day-vig to the rock?

http://everyboty.net...

Then write one for the day-vig, I'll write something for your response, and then my next turn will be on the rock.

Deal?

http://m.quickmeme.com...
Want to debate? Pick a topic and hit me up! - http://www.debate.org...
ResponsiblyIrresponsible
Posts: 12,398
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7/4/2015 4:51:47 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 4:50:24 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:48:26 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:47:36 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:43:41 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:41:53 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:40:25 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:37:02 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:26:24 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:

Dick...I had so many good jokes planned....

Redo it then, lol.

Heck, how about this:

My (second) turn: I throw a rock at a bunny.

Go.

Nope. You ruined it. I'll have to go off of your day Vig one.

Can't I just change my turn from the day-vig to the rock?

http://everyboty.net...

Then write one for the day-vig, I'll write something for your response, and then my next turn will be on the rock.

Deal?

http://m.quickmeme.com...

Lmfao.

Pepsi actually sucks, though.
~ResponsiblyIrresponsible

DDO's Economics Messiah
Zaradi
Posts: 14,125
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7/4/2015 4:59:01 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 4:51:47 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:50:24 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:48:26 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:47:36 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:43:41 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:41:53 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:40:25 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:37:02 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:26:24 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:

Dick...I had so many good jokes planned....

Redo it then, lol.

Heck, how about this:

My (second) turn: I throw a rock at a bunny.

Go.

Nope. You ruined it. I'll have to go off of your day Vig one.

Can't I just change my turn from the day-vig to the rock?

http://everyboty.net...

Then write one for the day-vig, I'll write something for your response, and then my next turn will be on the rock.

Deal?

http://m.quickmeme.com...

Lmfao.

Pepsi actually sucks, though.

So true...
Want to debate? Pick a topic and hit me up! - http://www.debate.org...
ResponsiblyIrresponsible
Posts: 12,398
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7/4/2015 5:00:43 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 4:59:01 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:51:47 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:50:24 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:48:26 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:47:36 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:43:41 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:41:53 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:40:25 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:37:02 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:26:24 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:

Dick...I had so many good jokes planned....

Redo it then, lol.

Heck, how about this:

My (second) turn: I throw a rock at a bunny.

Go.

Nope. You ruined it. I'll have to go off of your day Vig one.

Can't I just change my turn from the day-vig to the rock?

http://everyboty.net...

Then write one for the day-vig, I'll write something for your response, and then my next turn will be on the rock.

Deal?

http://m.quickmeme.com...

Lmfao.

Pepsi actually sucks, though.

So true...

It's funny, actually. Most people see no difference. I think Pepsi is much more bitter and... yuck. I guess only we soda aficionados can ascertain these very minute, but real, distinctions.

But, really, get typing - otherwise, I'll write one for my own day-vig turn, lol.
~ResponsiblyIrresponsible

DDO's Economics Messiah
Zaradi
Posts: 14,125
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7/4/2015 5:02:34 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Like I said I was going to hold off until I got home from work. Perfection takes time yknow?
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ResponsiblyIrresponsible
Posts: 12,398
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7/4/2015 5:12:28 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 5:02:34 PM, Zaradi wrote:
Like I said I was going to hold off until I got home from work. Perfection takes time yknow?

*Taps watch*

Okay, I'll give you 20 minutes. Go.
~ResponsiblyIrresponsible

DDO's Economics Messiah
Zaradi
Posts: 14,125
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7/4/2015 5:19:32 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 5:12:28 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 5:02:34 PM, Zaradi wrote:
Like I said I was going to hold off until I got home from work. Perfection takes time yknow?

*Taps watch*

Okay, I'll give you 20 minutes. Go.

Hah! Try four hours kid...
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ResponsiblyIrresponsible
Posts: 12,398
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7/4/2015 5:28:43 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 5:19:32 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 5:12:28 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 5:02:34 PM, Zaradi wrote:
Like I said I was going to hold off until I got home from work. Perfection takes time yknow?

*Taps watch*

Okay, I'll give you 20 minutes. Go.

Hah! Try four hours kid...

That's so long... and I'm older than you, Matt. We've been over this.

#Texans
~ResponsiblyIrresponsible

DDO's Economics Messiah
RevNge
Posts: 13,835
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7/4/2015 6:48:06 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 4:26:24 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 9:59:35 AM, RevNge wrote:
My turn: I throw a rock at a bunny.

You throw a rock at a bunny after it defeated you 200 straight times in chess, because as we all know, bunnies are exceptionally intelligent. In fact, so angry was Rev that he created a rock catapult, and each time he wound it up he would utter his signature line, "Why you hate me?", but with horrid spelling (of note is that the bunny was a national spelling bee champion). Little did Rev know, however, that the bunny had a black belt in Kung Fu, an automatic machine rifle in his back pocket, and a taser. Rev's smirk soon turned to tears and pleas for his life. Suffice it to say, he was never heard from again.

My turn: I, the bunny Rev threw a rock at, day-vigged him.

lol noob
ResponsiblyIrresponsible
Posts: 12,398
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7/4/2015 6:48:55 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 6:48:06 PM, RevNge wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:26:24 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 9:59:35 AM, RevNge wrote:
My turn: I throw a rock at a bunny.

You throw a rock at a bunny after it defeated you 200 straight times in chess, because as we all know, bunnies are exceptionally intelligent. In fact, so angry was Rev that he created a rock catapult, and each time he wound it up he would utter his signature line, "Why you hate me?", but with horrid spelling (of note is that the bunny was a national spelling bee champion). Little did Rev know, however, that the bunny had a black belt in Kung Fu, an automatic machine rifle in his back pocket, and a taser. Rev's smirk soon turned to tears and pleas for his life. Suffice it to say, he was never heard from again.

My turn: I, the bunny Rev threw a rock at, day-vigged him.

lol noob

Mine was better than yours!
~ResponsiblyIrresponsible

DDO's Economics Messiah
RevNge
Posts: 13,835
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7/4/2015 7:32:57 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 4:26:24 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 9:59:35 AM, RevNge wrote:
My turn: I throw a rock at a bunny.

You throw a rock at a bunny after it defeated you 200 straight times in chess, because as we all know, bunnies are exceptionally intelligent. In fact, so angry was Rev that he created a rock catapult, and each time he wound it up he would utter his signature line, "Why you hate me?", but with horrid spelling (of note is that the bunny was a national spelling bee champion). Little did Rev know, however, that the bunny had a black belt in Kung Fu, an automatic machine rifle in his back pocket, and a taser. Rev's smirk soon turned to tears and pleas for his life. Suffice it to say, he was never heard from again.

My turn: I, the bunny Rev threw a rock at, day-vigged him.

You attempt to day-Vig me, but only realize that I have a Bulletproof vest. I proceed to laugh as I kill you as I have killed bunnies in Minecraft (in the screenshots that I sent you).

(You know, I think the phrase "y u hate meh" is more of yours now than mine)

My turn: I give Joey a pic of a bona fide, shirtless Zaradi.
ResponsiblyIrresponsible
Posts: 12,398
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7/4/2015 7:36:34 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 7:32:57 PM, RevNge wrote:
At 7/4/2015 4:26:24 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:
At 7/4/2015 9:59:35 AM, RevNge wrote:
My turn: I throw a rock at a bunny.

You throw a rock at a bunny after it defeated you 200 straight times in chess, because as we all know, bunnies are exceptionally intelligent. In fact, so angry was Rev that he created a rock catapult, and each time he wound it up he would utter his signature line, "Why you hate me?", but with horrid spelling (of note is that the bunny was a national spelling bee champion). Little did Rev know, however, that the bunny had a black belt in Kung Fu, an automatic machine rifle in his back pocket, and a taser. Rev's smirk soon turned to tears and pleas for his life. Suffice it to say, he was never heard from again.

My turn: I, the bunny Rev threw a rock at, day-vigged him.

You attempt to day-Vig me, but only realize that I have a Bulletproof vest. I proceed to laugh as I kill you as I have killed bunnies in Minecraft (in the screenshots that I sent you).

(You know, I think the phrase "y u hate meh" is more of yours now than mine)

y u hate mehhhhhh

My turn: I give Joey a pic of a bona fide, shirtless Zaradi.

Rev gives Joey a pc of a bona-fide, shirtless Zaradi. Joey retorts, utterly flabbergasted, "Rev, I'm straight" and tosses the image back at him. It was stunning that Rev didn't get the joke, and even more so that he managed to sneak up on a sleeping Matt and acquire sad image. Rev was subsequently lynched for scummy activity.

My turn [No one but Matt can take this one]: I throw a rock at a bunny.
~ResponsiblyIrresponsible

DDO's Economics Messiah
Zaradi
Posts: 14,125
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7/4/2015 9:09:47 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 7:36:34 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:

My turn [No one but Matt can take this one]: I throw a rock at a bunny.

Even though it's still not the same T_T fine. Fine! Fine!!

You cock your arm back and launch the stone with all of your might at the poor, innocent bunny that you had set your sights on. The throw was a beautiful throw; smoothly the projectile sailed through the air before striking the bunny square between the eyes. The blow is strong enough to knock the bunny off of its paws, sending it hurtling back a few feet onto its side.

You watch for a few moments as it lays there, cold and still, wondering if it was going to do something in response. The air was as motionless as the animal. Part of your mind nags you to go check on the poor animal, to ensure that you hadn't done something that you cannot undue. But you decided that the projected returns didn't warrant the investment of energy necessary to complete the transaction between you and the bunny, so you shrugged to yourself and walked off, the thought of the bunny slipping from your mind entirely.

Time passes since that fateful day. You graduate college as the valedictorian of your class. You go on to get a Masters Degree, and then a Ph.D, all with the highest marks. Your analysis of the Federal Reserve and top Fortune 500 companies perks the attention of more than a few major players in the economic world, and you quickly find yourself as an intern to Ben Bernake.

Under him you really grow and flourish as an economist. Your stock portfolio profits increase by 640% over a single quarter, double that in the next two. Rumors and speculation surround your rapid rise in economic power, which is due to nothing more than your hard work and determination to excel in your field.

The offers from academia roll in like a tidal wave. Harvard, MIT, Stanford, Berkely. Virtually every Ivy League school and hundreds of other schools clutter your phone and email with job offers. Professors, heads of departments, even Texas A&M asked for you to be the dean of the entire university. You choose a lofty job with Harvard as the head of the economic department and a small graduate class with nice pay and benefits, but enough freedom to allow you to be your own man.

Years pass. Decades even. Accolades continue to roll into your lap. Soon your economic worth rivals Bill Gates and other top Forbes members. You're even considered a front-runner for People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive (taking second to Channing Tatum, the little f*cker).

Enter Natalia Albright. A bright girl in your class. Brighter than most. You quickly see that she has the same level of economic understanding and knowledge that you had at her age, and she quickly becomes your favorite pupil. Hours you'd spend with her after class, simply discussing economic theory and it's application to various US and world markets. Every step you take to push her harder toward success, she took and accomplished almost effortlessly. She's your crown jewel, your shining accomplishment as a professor and as an economist.

Her graduation day from her doctorate program approaches and after three years of teaching her everything that you knew, it was finally time for you two to part ways. You had tried offering her various positions of teaching and department work to try and get her to stick around, but you knew that her dreams and aspirations were far loftier. As you go to congratulate her on her graduation, and to wish her luck in the world, she smiles and leans in closer toward your ear. She parts her lips slightly, taking a small inhale of breath, before whispering five words.

"I know what you did."

She kisses your cheek, gives you an excited wave goodbye, and vanishes into the crowd of graduates. As if she hadn't said anything bizarre and strange at all.

Instantly your mind starts racing. What had you done? What could possibly have done that was scandalous?! You had done all of your business by the book! Multiple students, both male and female, had made advances on you during your teaching career and you had turned them all down! You were entirely clean, innocent of any possible or conceivable wrongdoing, yet why were you so paranoid!?

The first pitfall was the accusations. Stock market manipulation, false but they seemingly materialized "proof" out of thin air. Fraud, tax evasion, sexual harassment of students, other teachers and faculty members. Seemingly random people who you've never seen before in your life take the stand and attest to all the sinister and perverted acts that you forced them to perform to "increase their suffering", and all of it is lies and damned lies!

You fight it, fight it all and fight it with everything you have. The court dates and fees begin piling up. It takes an entirely battalion of lawyers to handle the hundreds of charges levied against you, and at the end of the day, even the best lawyers in the nation shrug at you and say "The evidence against you is simply too good. There's nothing we can do."

You find yourself at rock bottom. Fired from your job. Your accolades and accomplishments all stripped from you. The fees and fines continue to pile up, amounting to hundreds upon billions of dollars in debt to seemingly infinite different collection companies. Homeless, jobless, broke, with no prospects for the future, you begin wandering the streets aimlessly. There was no point in you trying to fix anything since there was nothing you could do to remedy the mountain of problems you had in front of you, so why try?

As you're walking on the sidewalk, a gust of wind blows a loose flyer into your face, blinding you until you can peel the paper off of your face. You glance down at the flyer -- some crappy church flier advertising service times. You crumple up the paper and go to toss it aside like the useless trash it was, but something makes you stop and reconsider. You've never considered yourself much of a religious person, but something inside of your mind tells you to go, that things could be better if you went.

What the hell. You have nothing better to do, literally nothing better. Why not?

And things do improve a little. The head preacher of the church agrees to give you a job as the custodian of the church, which you find beneath you massively but what other option do you have? You end up making enough money to buy yourself a beat-up truck from the shadiest person you've ever met in your life. You managed to convince a landlord to rent you a run-down apartment with your abysmal credit score.

Every day you work, the pastor talks with you. He's nowhere near the academic level that you like to associate, but you can tell that he at least has some kind of sense behind him. Every day he says to you "If there's anything you want to repent for, anything at all, even the most minor things, then you can repent to me. And things will be better."

And for a while you do. You repent to absolutely every wrong you can think of. Cheating on a test in high school. Not doing your chores when you were a kid. Every minor slight you can think about. But every day he continues to ask you to repent, and you can't think of anything else to repent for!

=== To be continued in a separate post due to character space ===
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ResponsiblyIrresponsible
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7/4/2015 9:20:39 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 9:09:47 PM, Zaradi wrote:
At 7/4/2015 7:36:34 PM, ResponsiblyIrresponsible wrote:

My turn [No one but Matt can take this one]: I throw a rock at a bunny.

Even though it's still not the same T_T fine. Fine! Fine!!

You cock your arm back and launch the stone with all of your might at the poor, innocent bunny that you had set your sights on. The throw was a beautiful throw; smoothly the projectile sailed through the air before striking the bunny square between the eyes. The blow is strong enough to knock the bunny off of its paws, sending it hurtling back a few feet onto its side.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

You watch for a few moments as it lays there, cold and still, wondering if it was going to do something in response. The air was as motionless as the animal.

WTF, what sane person wouldn't go help the damned thing?

Oh, right.. the same arshat who threw the bloody rock to start.

Part of your mind nags you to go check on the poor animal, to ensure that you hadn't done something that you cannot undue. But you decided that the projected returns didn't warrant the investment of energy necessary to complete the transaction between you and the bunny, so you shrugged to yourself and walked off, the thought of the bunny slipping from your mind entirely.

( Arshat.

Time passes since that fateful day. You graduate college as the valedictorian of your class. You go on to get a Masters Degree, and then a Ph.D, all with the highest marks. Your analysis of the Federal Reserve and top Fortune 500 companies perks the attention of more than a few major players in the economic world, and you quickly find yourself as an intern to Ben Bernake.

YESSSSSSSSS.

Also, it's "Bernanke."

Under him you really grow and flourish as an economist. Your stock portfolio profits increase by 640% over a single quarter, double that in the next two. Rumors and speculation surround your rapid rise in economic power, which is due to nothing more than your hard work and determination to excel in your field.

Economists know nothing of stock portfolios, you big silly. I'd need to be a financial analyst.

The offers from academia roll in like a tidal wave. Harvard, MIT, Stanford, Berkely. Virtually every Ivy League school and hundreds of other schools clutter your phone and email with job offers. Professors, heads of departments, even Texas A&M asked for you to be the dean of the entire university. You choose a lofty job with Harvard as the head of the economic department and a small graduate class with nice pay and benefits, but enough freedom to allow you to be your own man.

Sick. Who the fck would go to fcking... pfffft.. Texas with Harvard on the line?

Years pass. Decades even. Accolades continue to roll into your lap. Soon your economic worth rivals Bill Gates and other top Forbes members. You're even considered a front-runner for People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive (taking second to Channing Tatum, the little f*cker).

Sounds good so far.

Enter Natalia Albright. A bright girl in your class.

*Yawn*, I'm gay, bro...

I mean...... kk, continue, I totally didn't say that as a reaction test or anything.

Brighter than most. You quickly see that she has the same level of economic understanding and knowledge that you had at her age, and she quickly becomes your favorite pupil. Hours you'd spend with her after class, simply discussing economic theory and it's application to various US and world markets. Every step you take to push her harder toward success, she took and accomplished almost effortlessly. She's your crown jewel, your shining accomplishment as a professor and as an economist.

kk, cool.

Her graduation day from her doctorate program approaches and after three years of teaching her everything that you knew, it was finally time for you two to part ways. You had tried offering her various positions of teaching and department work to try and get her to stick around, but you knew that her dreams and aspirations were far loftier. As you go to congratulate her on her graduation, and to wish her luck in the world, she smiles and leans in closer toward your ear. She parts her lips slightly, taking a small inhale of breath, before whispering five words.

"I know what you did."

OMG, plot twist.

She kisses your cheek, gives you an excited wave goodbye, and vanishes into the crowd of graduates. As if she hadn't said anything bizarre and strange at all.

Instantly your mind starts racing. What had you done? What could possibly have done that was scandalous?! You had done all of your business by the book! Multiple students, both male and female, had made advances on you during your teaching career and you had turned them all down! You were entirely clean, innocent of any possible or conceivable wrongdoing, yet why were you so paranoid!?

The first pitfall was the accusations. Stock market manipulation, false but they seemingly materialized "proof" out of thin air. Fraud, tax evasion, sexual harassment of students, other teachers and faculty members. Seemingly random people who you've never seen before in your life take the stand and attest to all the sinister and perverted acts that you forced them to perform to "increase their suffering", and all of it is lies and damned lies!

LOL

You fight it, fight it all and fight it with everything you have. The court dates and fees begin piling up. It takes an entirely battalion of lawyers to handle the hundreds of charges levied against you, and at the end of the day, even the best lawyers in the nation shrug at you and say "The evidence against you is simply too good. There's nothing we can do."

(

You find yourself at rock bottom. Fired from your job. Your accolades and accomplishments all stripped from you. The fees and fines continue to pile up, amounting to hundreds upon billions of dollars in debt to seemingly infinite different collection companies. Homeless, jobless, broke, with no prospects for the future, you begin wandering the streets aimlessly. There was no point in you trying to fix anything since there was nothing you could do to remedy the mountain of problems you had in front of you, so why try?

(

As you're walking on the sidewalk, a gust of wind blows a loose flyer into your face, blinding you until you can peel the paper off of your face. You glance down at the flyer -- some crappy church flier advertising service times. You crumple up the paper and go to toss it aside like the useless trash it was, but something makes you stop and reconsider. You've never considered yourself much of a religious person, but something inside of your mind tells you to go, that things could be better if you went.

Ew.

What the hell. You have nothing better to do, literally nothing better. Why not?

And things do improve a little. The head preacher of the church agrees to give you a job as the custodian of the church, which you find beneath you massively but what other option do you have? You end up making enough money to buy yourself a beat-up truck from the shadiest person you've ever met in your life. You managed to convince a landlord to rent you a run-down apartment with your abysmal credit score.

k.

Every day you work, the pastor talks with you. He's nowhere near the academic level that you like to associate, but you can tell that he at least has some kind of sense behind him. Every day he says to you "If there's anything you want to repent for, anything at all, even the most minor things, then you can repent to me. And things will be better."

And for a while you do. You repent to absolutely every wrong you can think of. Cheating on a test in high school. Not doing your chores when you were a kid. Every minor slight you can think about. But every day he continues to ask you to repent, and you can't think of anything else to
~ResponsiblyIrresponsible

DDO's Economics Messiah
Zaradi
Posts: 14,125
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7/4/2015 9:21:40 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
=== Continued from the above post ===

Decades later your time finally comes. You pass on, a mere shell of the person you used to be. There's darkness for a while, but eventually light floods your vision and you see yourself standing in front of a massive, white gate. You curse silently to yourself -- the dammed Christians were right all along! -- and approach the gates of Heaven.

A figure stands before you, and you feel yourself somehow awed to be in his presence. A loud voice booms from his throat.

"Oh it's your turn? Okay, let me pull out the list here..."

A rolled up parchment scroll materializes out of thin air and unrolls itself in front of the figure. The figure hums to himself as he mutters a few words, reading it apparently. "Ah hah! Here it is. Let's see, you cheated on your tenth grade history exam - repented for. You blamed your first wrecked car on your sister and got her in unnecessary trouble - repented for."

He continues on through your entire laundry list of "sins", only stopping once to say "What's with all this repented sh*t? That's so cheap that you can just say "oops, I made a mistake and hurt someone else but I'm clean anyway" like it never happened? Man, back in my day you had to be f*cking perfect and if you weren't then you were f*cked."

After a few minutes of studying the list, he nods. "You're good, I guess. All those false charges against you were rough, but you made it man! Welcome to ----waaait a second." he starts to say, but stops himself and looks at the list again. His eyes -- at least you think it's his eyes -- squint and he gasps. "You f*cking a**hole!"

You're absolutely confused, one that he's using so much profanity and two that there's something wrong. What had he done!?

The figure looks at him condemningly. "You killed an innocent bunny by stoning it to death! What an absolute disregard for life and innocence!"

You're absolutely stunned and outraged. That's not a sin, you protest! You didn't know that it had died! He shouldn't be condemned to Hell over one stupid bunny!

But the figure closes the scroll and it vanishes. "Does it look like I give a sh*t about you right now? I don't have time for your sh*t. Do you even realize who you're talking to? You ain't talkin' to no normal Jesus here. No, you're talking to Korean Jesus. And Korean Jesus ain't got time to listen to you whine about your sh*t. Nope, go to hell please."

The floor beneath you opens up and you plunge into the fiery pits of hell and eternal damnation. All because you threw a rock at a bunny. For shame.

My turn: I order a burger from McDonalds.
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ResponsiblyIrresponsible
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7/4/2015 9:32:54 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/4/2015 9:21:40 PM, Zaradi wrote:
=== Continued from the above post ===

Decades later your time finally comes. You pass on, a mere shell of the person you used to be. There's darkness for a while, but eventually light floods your vision and you see yourself standing in front of a massive, white gate. You curse silently to yourself -- the dammed Christians were right all along! -- and approach the gates of Heaven.

Fckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. I'm going down, aren't I?

A figure stands before you, and you feel yourself somehow awed to be in his presence. A loud voice booms from his throat.

OMG, IT'S THE BIG GUY.

DON'T SMITE ME, BRO!

"Oh it's your turn? Okay, let me pull out the list here..."

A rolled up parchment scroll materializes out of thin air and unrolls itself in front of the figure. The figure hums to himself as he mutters a few words, reading it apparently. "Ah hah! Here it is. Let's see, you cheated on your tenth grade history exam - repented for. You blamed your first wrecked car on your sister and got her in unnecessary trouble - repented for."

That's right!

He continues on through your entire laundry list of "sins", only stopping once to say "What's with all this repented sh*t? That's so cheap that you can just say "oops, I made a mistake and hurt someone else but I'm clean anyway" like it never happened? Man, back in my day you had to be f*cking perfect and if you weren't then you were f*cked."

Lmfao....

After a few minutes of studying the list, he nods. "You're good, I guess. All those false charges against you were rough, but you made it man! Welcome to ----waaait a second." he starts to say, but stops himself and looks at the list again. His eyes -- at least you think it's his eyes -- squint and he gasps. "You f*cking a**hole!"

OH SH1T. IT'S THAT DAMNED BUNNY.

You're absolutely confused, one that he's using so much profanity and two that there's something wrong. What had he done!?

The figure looks at him condemningly. "You killed an innocent bunny by stoning it to death! What an absolute disregard for life and innocence!"

SH!T!

You're absolutely stunned and outraged. That's not a sin, you protest! You didn't know that it had died! He shouldn't be condemned to Hell over one stupid bunny!

OH YES I SHOULD.

But the figure closes the scroll and it vanishes. "Does it look like I give a sh*t about you right now? I don't have time for your sh*t. Do you even realize who you're talking to? You ain't talkin' to no normal Jesus here. No, you're talking to Korean Jesus. And Korean Jesus ain't got time to listen to you whine about your sh*t. Nope, go to hell please."

lollol wtf.

The floor beneath you opens up and you plunge into the fiery pits of hell and eternal damnation. All because you threw a rock at a bunny. For shame.

FCK!


My turn: I order a burger from McDonalds.

You order a burger from McDonalds, and it turns out the burger contained traces of the bunny you threw a rock at it. The bunny was poisoned, and you blow up instantly and proceed to hell. There, you meet that bunny, and it proceeds to kick the sh1t out of you.

My turn: Matt takes his shirt off.
~ResponsiblyIrresponsible

DDO's Economics Messiah