Total Posts:30|Showing Posts:1-30
Jump to topic:

Pandemonium Story (Commentary Thread)

Juan_Pablo
Posts: 2,052
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
12/26/2015 2:02:23 PM
Posted: 11 months ago
This Commentary thread is for discussing the Pandemonium Story Thread, here: ( http://www.debate.org... )

If you want to post a Chapter, check here first. Make sure that someone isn't posting the chapter you intend to post.

If you want to post a comment, do so HERE. Do not interrupt the story to say something.

Here are the Rules:
1- Writers are given exactly 7 days (168 hours to the second) of announcing it in this commentary thread to post their Chapter in the story thread. If the Chapter isn't up in 168 hours, the writer forfeits the opportunity to write that Chapter.
2- If you're going to add the next chapter, tell us here, in the commentary thread. You should post the Chapter Number and Title that you will be writing (Example: Chapter One: Human Bliss).
3- If you're going to eliminate a main character, it better be good.
4- Make new characters you introduce in the story interesting and unique from other characters. Provide detail.
5- Absolutely no real people are permitted in this story. Leave the names of real individuals out of this! Use your imagination.
6- This story adheres to a PG-13 standard, so no overt sexual content is permitted. Violence must not be too graphic, nor should animals and monsters be too perverse in appearance (monsters can't have the form of sexual organs or something like that, for example).
7- Do not write something too far fetched.
8- Please, do not curse too much. I would prefer you don't cuss at all. A good story doesn't need derogatory bad language. This is an opportunity to improve your writing skills and to learn alternative reader-grabbing techniques. Remember the PG-13 standard of the story.
9- No trolling. Do not ruin this story for your amusement.
10- Anyone can write, so long as they treat the story with respect. Give others a chance to write.
11- Proper and Readable English only. Impress us. (Of course, innocent mistakes are to be expected.)

The Pandenomium Story Thread ( http://www.debate.org... ) is for Chapters only!!! Do not post anything else in that thread!!
Juan_Pablo
Posts: 2,052
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
12/31/2015 10:22:11 PM
Posted: 11 months ago
I'm changing the name of chapter 2 from An Unnatural Occurrence, to Unrelenting Darkness.

I gave it some more thought and I'm trying to force the story to develop in a certain direction, so I had to change a few things that initially popped into my head. But I think this will work out better. I am complying with PG-13 standards, but readers should be made aware that there is death and frightening elements in this story.

Ha! I've also given myself an additional three day extension, since I'm requesting it in advance of the deadline!!! Sorry, everyone!
Beginner
Posts: 4,292
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/1/2016 2:53:43 AM
Posted: 11 months ago
Hm. Interesting. I might be interested in contributing one chapter before I hightail out of here.
Senpai has noticed you.
Juan_Pablo
Posts: 2,052
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/1/2016 8:38:20 AM
Posted: 11 months ago
At 1/1/2016 2:53:43 AM, Beginner wrote:
Hm. Interesting. I might be interested in contributing one chapter before I hightail out of here.

Okay. Just tell us in advance and we'll set that one aside for you!!
Juan_Pablo
Posts: 2,052
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/5/2016 5:57:16 AM
Posted: 11 months ago
Unfortunately, Chapter Two is going to be short and entitled: Part 1: Unrelenting Darkness.

This should be up in a matter of hours.

If no one calls Chapter Three by Wednesday, I'm taking it to complete Part 2: Unrelenting Darkness.
Juan_Pablo
Posts: 2,052
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/5/2016 7:27:12 AM
Posted: 11 months ago
The Chapter Two I'm now posting is suppose to be part of a larger chapter, but it actually works okay on it's own. It'll be completed if I get to write Chapter Three, and you'll get to see where I'm going with it.
Juan_Pablo
Posts: 2,052
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/5/2016 7:41:25 AM
Posted: 11 months ago
Bao Vu and Lilly Tram go to Caltech. But not all students will go there, though all those already mentioned will go to another University in the Los Angeles area, in case anyone is wondering.
Juan_Pablo
Posts: 2,052
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/13/2016 9:35:51 AM
Posted: 11 months ago
Just so that everyone is aware, I'm giving myself a four-day extension on Chapter Three, because I'm altering a lot of the original story concept. The new concept is much, much better!

Plus, my vacation is over and I'm working again!!
Juan_Pablo
Posts: 2,052
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/13/2016 9:38:47 AM
Posted: 11 months ago
Explanation: It turns out I wont be moving until halfway through next week, so I have some additional days to make this concept truly unique and great.
Juan_Pablo
Posts: 2,052
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/18/2016 1:24:32 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
Hello, everybody.

I have an emergency because I'm getting ready to move tomorrow.

Chapter Three will post before midnight tonight, PST.
Cobalt
Posts: 991
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/18/2016 7:45:52 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
Intriguing. I'll take Chapter Four. Title tbd.

My style of writing is different from your own, but seeing as you've been alone in this story thus far, that shouldn't matter.
Juan_Pablo
Posts: 2,052
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/18/2016 5:02:19 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 1/18/2016 7:45:52 AM, Cobalt wrote:
Intriguing. I'll take Chapter Four. Title tbd.

My style of writing is different from your own, but seeing as you've been alone in this story thus far, that shouldn't matter.

Okay. This will be interesting.
Juan_Pablo
Posts: 2,052
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/23/2016 1:20:05 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
I'm calling the next Chapter. The title will be decided as soon as Cobalt post his chapter.

I have a very good idea of how this is going to go. I'm also going to post a follow-up chapter, to be entitled Involuntary Recruits.
Juan_Pablo
Posts: 2,052
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/25/2016 10:42:53 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
Hi Cobalt!

The 7-day deadline is now over. I will however give you an extension if you indicate you need more time in the next 24 hours.
Juan_Pablo
Posts: 2,052
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/27/2016 9:17:14 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
I'm calling Chapter Four. It will be called Part III: Unrelenting Darkness. It will be the last chapter with this title.
Juan_Pablo
Posts: 2,052
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/2/2016 11:53:13 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
I'm going to try to post Chapter Four by tonight. If that doesn't happen, I will post it sometime between tomorrow and Friday, giving me a three day extension.

I'm very busy at the moment with more important commitments. Sorry.
Juan_Pablo
Posts: 2,052
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/5/2016 8:10:52 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
If no one calls Chapter Five by tomorrow, I'm going to take it.

My aim is to make it a cutscene, which focuses on new characters (not all university students), before we get into the action with the original characters in Chapter Six.

It'll also have a different title than what I previously indicated.

(This post originally appeared in the Story thread by accident.)
Juan_Pablo
Posts: 2,052
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/9/2016 11:47:41 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
I'm extremely busy at the moment. I will Chapter Five on the weekend, if no one has yet taken it by then.
Juan_Pablo
Posts: 2,052
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/12/2016 1:09:46 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
Once I have more free time, I'll get started with Chapter 5.

I have to notify the audience though that this story will have strong horror elements, since the underlying theme in this story is that God can appear malevolent, but for good reason (the survival of intelligent life).

There's a lot of things I've been contemplating about this story and I'm planning on add some horror scenes (not particularly bloody, but very shocking and nettling) that will make the audience uncomfortable at times, unless you find those kinds of images enjoyable (which I admittedly don't).

This story is meant to be a supernatural thriller with strong underlying moral component, and it's meant to express the methods a God would have to utilize to stabilize a planet as chaotic as ours and harboring intelligent life. It also shows what a God with limited powers would have to foist on humanity to get it to survive. But through it all, it shows that under the perfunctory darkness (and admitted components of terror) God is aiming for a good world where people have a love and respect for each other, and try to make the most this intelligent experience, since it is a fleeting one.

Anyway, I dropped by to announce that once I have more free time (less responsibilities elsewhere) I will add more to this story.
Juan_Pablo
Posts: 2,052
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/12/2016 1:25:39 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
Corrections:

"There's a lot of things I've been contemplating about this story and I'm planning on adding some horror scenes . . ."

"This story is meant to be a supernatural thriller with a strong underlying moral component, and it's meant to express the methods a God would have to utilize to stabilize a planet as chaotic as ours, that harbors intelligent life."
Juan_Pablo_4_hillary
Posts: 32
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/30/2016 2:28:55 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
I've decided to stop this story because I don't like the direction it's going in.

Instead, I'm going to be writing a different story called "Hostage".

It will be a supernatural thriller/comedy, and will center around a main character much like myself (though this person will be slightly more interesting :p ).