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Script for Radio Play I'm Doing in Drama.

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4/26/2016 4:29:03 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Okay, so for my last huge project in Honors Drama at my school, me and two others people were paired up with three seventh graders. My teacher is also in the group. I'll censor all real names except my own because it's available on my profile anyway.

We have to create a radio play where we stand behind a curtain and perform our bit in front of the class. But this time it's different. Instead of doing separate five minute skits, we've combined all of them into a conjoined story with the drama teacher, Mr. Blankity Blank being the main character. We got episode two, but you'll at least understand it without the first episode.

I decided to post the script on this forum for you all to see. Depending on the demand, I might post the whole audio recording once I get it in a week or two. Starting from the next post I'll be posting the script for my bit. It's terribly beautiful, if you understand that.

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4/26/2016 4:35:50 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
(Part One)
Script of Episode #2
Blank - Jane the Baker
Blank - Jasmine the Seamtress
Bailey (ME) - The Princess Josephine
Nope - King Jeremiah, Accented Woman
Nopity nope - Narrator, Thief, Jasper the Guard
Why? - Josslyn the Assassin, Julie the Guard
Mr. Blankity Blank - Dr. Beauregard J. Stormhart (Shortened to Beau)

* = Insert Sound Effect
Italics = Narration from Petra

The Beginning
The earth started to rubble in the wonderous land of Jerry-topia where the young king Jeremiah ruled the overly depressed citizens with dangerous leanacy. At the break of dawn, a thief inside the castle caught sight of the most amazing man in the universe.
Thief: Are those sparkles? *drops vase*

Julie: *walks in* What are you doing here? Are you stealing from the king?

Thief: Nevermind me, look at that thing outside!
Alas! it was Dr. Beauegard J. Stormhart stuck in his previous, quite scandalous adventures. He arrived in the square of town. The Guard Julie and her partner Jasper rushed to him.

Jasper: Tell me young man, who are you and what are you doing here?

Beau: I don't know! Where am I?

Julie: You quit talking sorceror. You aren't licensed by King Jeremiah.

Beau: Okay, I'm sorry, I really am, but I don't understand a word you're saying.

Jasper: Cut the sass. You're coming with us.

Beau: But I'm innocent!

Jasper: Tell that to the king.

The two guards threw him in jail while he awaited King Jeremiah. Finally, after being informed of Beau's imprisonment, he came.

*"Bohemian Rhasody" guitar solo* (Ends when Jeremiah finishes his line.)
Jeremiah: Jerry has arrived! Beau: Please let me out.

Julie: Shut up, you hunky, magical scum.
Then, the beautiful Princess Josephine came to the dungeons along with two of her servants, the baker, Jane, and the seamtress, Jasmine, who also qualify as her manic-depressive ladies-in-waiting.

Josephine: *walks in* Brother, you aren't allowed in the dungeons.

Jeremiah: Neither are the slaves.

Josephine: Forget them, they're only here to watch you.

Jane: *walks in* Where's the prisoner?

Jasmine: What heinous crime did he commit?

The three women gazed into Beau's heavenly eyes and passion filled their hearts.

Josephine, Jane, and Jasmine: *breathy sigh* What did he do to deserve this?

Jasmine: What is your name?

Beau: Dr. Beauregard J. Stormhart.

Jane: Hey gorgeous, what does the J stand for? Oh, that's right, Jane!

Jasmine: No, it's Jasmine!

Josephine: It obviously means Josephine!

Jeremiah: How about Jerry? I win!

Jane: Shut it, Jerry.

Jasmine: Yeah, or else you won't get your bedtime story.

Jeremiah: Fine, I'm out.
*"Bohemian Rhasody" guitar solo* (Stops when Josephine starts talking.)

Josephine: But brother, we need to let him go.

Jeremiah: Fine, but only if I get to the judge the trial.

Josephine: But you're always the judge.

Jeremiah: If don't appreciate my good services, we can't hold a trial.

Josephine: *depressing sigh* Fine.

Beau: I'd like to comment...

Jeremiah: No!

Beau: (Loudly Whisper Line) Why me?!

Jeremiah: Because I said so.

The next day, the trial commenced.

(End of part 1)
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4/26/2016 4:43:13 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
(Part 2)
Jeremiah: Welcome, everybody, to the trial of Dr. Beauregard J. Stormhart. All must stand for the national anthem sung by your ruler, ME!!
*music starts "Jump Right To It"* (Stops when Beau starts talking)

Jeremiah: (Singing) You better jump right to it, tell that Beau how you feel...

Beau: Please, just stop.

Jeremiah: You're no fun.

Beau: I feel violated.

Jeremiah: Whatever. Anyway, I call the guard Jasper to the stand.

Jasper: I saw him commiting illegal acts of sorcerory.

Jeremiah: Exactly what did he do?

Jasper: He created sparkley things.

Beau: That's illegal?

Jasper: It's punishable by death.

Josephine, Jane, and Jasmine: I object.

Beau: You know what, I'm fine. Just kill me now.

Josephine: He's no criminal, he's beautiful.

Jane: (Whispers) He's my future husband.

Jasmine: He's mine!

Beau: I don't know or care about any of you.

Jeremiah: Shut your faces and listen to me. I agree to suspend his sentence, but you must marry my sister, Princess Josephine.

Josephine: Yes, he's mine! (Manical laugh from Abby)

Beau: You've got to be kidding me.

Jane: Well, she must be satisfied.

Jasmine: Satisfaction is only the death of desire.

Beau: If you excuse me, I best be going now.

Josephine: Fiancee, sit down.

Beau: You know what, I've had it. I'm a one-man wolf pack, a bachelor. I don't need your baggage tying me down.

Jeremiah: Well, your wedding is tomorrow. Jane, you make a cake. Jasmine, you make a dress.

Jane: (Sarcastically) As you wish, your Highness.

Jane, fed up with Josephine's betroyal, decided that she needed help to take care of her situation. She consulted her dear friend, Josslyn.

Josslyn: So, what did you need?

Jane: Can I ask you for a favor?

Josslyn: Anything.

Jane: An assassination, perhaps?

Josslyn: Well...

Jane: Josephine must be offed by tonight. (Crying) She's trying to steal the love of my life.

Josslyn: Jane, I've done too many of these. You've had four husbands in the last two years and they've all died at my hand.

Jane: Well, silly, you aren't killing a spouse this time, you're killing his scummy fiancee who deserves to die in a hole! I love him.

Josslyn: I can't do this one for free. I need some sort of payment.

Jane: You know I don't make much. I'm a baker.

Josslyn: No pay, no deal.

Jane: Wait, I have butter. I know it isn't much, but I'm desperate.

Josslyn: *sighs* If it really means this much to you then I'll take the butter.

Jane: (Crying with happiness) Thank you so much.

Josslyn: Touch me anything and I'll throw you out of a window.

Josslyn snuck into the princess' bedroom as she was sleeping. Unfortunately for her, sneaking in through a window wasn't too effective, as she blew her cover due to her cluminess.

Josslyn: Urgh.

Josephine: *yawns and gasps* What are you doing in my room?

Josslyn: I just wanted to wish you a... happy birthday?

Josephine: You're three monthes early. Wait, you're going to kill me, aren't you?!

Josslyn: That was the plan.

Josephine: What made you betray me? You were my assassin.

Josslyn: You can't really blame me, she gave me butter. Do you know how valuable butter is?

Josephine: Well, I see your point, but if you can do me a favor I'll give you... Uh... King Jeremiah! He's yours to marry if you kill that dirty seamtress Jasmine for me. Do we have a deal?

Josslyn: Isn't that illegal? He's like seven.

Josephine: Yes, but we can get around that if you'd like.

Josslyn: Fine, but I'm not marrying a seven-year-old.

Josephine: *sighs* If you say so.

Josslyn: (Whispers) Sicko.
Josslyn was off to kill her next target, Jasmine. She waited until the morning of the wedding to go to her house where she met her racially ambigious slave.

Josslyn: Excuse me miss, I'd like to speak with Jasmine.

Accented Woman: Right this way. *walks* I'll stay outside the door.

Josslyn: That isn't really necessary.

Accented Woman: That's Jasmine's policy, woman. You can go if you don't like it.

Oh no! Josslyn bit the racially ambigious slave in the face!

Accented Woman: Why do this to me, woman? I have seventeen tiny babies at home without a father. Show me mercy! Mercy! (Dramatic death)

Jasmine: *walks out* What's happening? *gasps* My racially ambigious slave! How could you?

Josslyn: She was disturbing the peace, so she needed to be bitten to death. And now you do too.

Jasmine: Please don't! I'll give you Princess Josephine's wedding dress if you spare me.

Josslyn: But why would I need a wedding dress?

Jasmine: Do what I do: pretend you'll find love somebody. Nevermind me! You get the dress only if you kill that incredibly average naker Jane.

Josslyn: *sighs* Anything for you.
In her third attempt of appeasing her employers, Josslyn went back to Jane's home where she begrudgingly baked a cake for the wedding later that night. Jane had her back facing away from her unknown enemy. Just as Josslyn was about to suck the life of her target with her deadly teeth, something went wrong...

Josslyn: (Whispers) Mmm. That's a nice looking cake.

Jane: What the? Intruder! Die!

Unfortunately, Jane's animalistic instincts took over and she murdered Josslyn with a rolling pin.

Jane: What's she doing here?! *sigh* Well, I'll just have to do the job myself.

(End of Part 2)
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4/26/2016 4:58:15 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
(Beginning of Part 3)

It was the night of the ceremony. What a beautiful wedding! It's a shame that Princess Josephine's dress disappeared and Jeremiah was the priest. Sadly, they couldn't restrain Beau so they knocked him out and tied him to a chair. The wedding proceeded despite the lack of consent from the groom.

Jeremiah: Do you two take each other, to love and to hold, to be King and Queen?

Josephine: I do. What about you, future husband?!

Beau: I object to the very thought of this wedding.

Jeremiah: Remember, you have no rights. You love her.

Beau: She makes blind kids cry.

Josephine: Well, I hope you step in a puddle with socks on.

Beau: You're as useful as Anne Frank's drum set.

Josephine: Why don't you slip into something more comfortable... like a coma.

Jeremiah: Quiet you trash talking hooligans! You're married now, so go eat some cake and be happy or something.

Beau: I've been called worse things by better people.

Everyone was forced by knife point to attend the reception in the castle at Jeremiah's demand, so you can imagine just how thrilled they were over the situation.

Jane: Josephine, maybe you should eat the cake.

Josephine: I'll eat the cake when I want to eat it! What about you, King Beauregard?

Beau: I refuse to be called that.

Jane: Oh, you won't be King for long.

In frustration, Josephine started to stress eat after her devasting loss of the insult batlle/wedding reception. Little did she know it was a horrible mistake.

Josephine: This cake tastes... funny.

Jane: Yes, it's working.

Then, DEATH STRUCK THE QUEEN! She collapsed on the spot right in front of the entire kingdom. Not that they were torn up about it or anything.

Jasmine: Yes, she's gone!

Jasper: You seem happy over this... too happy.

Jasmine: Oh, you think I killed the queen?

Jasper: Now that you mention it, yes. You've loved Beau since the day you've met him! You showed clear discomfort when he was engaged to Princess Josephine. You're obviously the greatest canidate to murder her in cold-blood.

Jasmine: No, I'm innocent!

Jasper: You must be punished for your crimes against the monarchy.

Suddenly, Jasper pushed Jasmine out of a window where she plummetted to her untimely demise.


*splat sound effect*

Beau: All of you are crazy! I was arrested, caught in a love rectangle, married, and became a widower in the span of two days. Is that alarming to any of you?

Jasper: That's all fun and games around here.

Jane: Hey good-looking...

Beau: And you! You're probably the worst one out of these people! If I could do anything to you I'd...

Before he could say anything even more savagely wicked, Dr. Beauegard J. Stormhart disappeared from Jerry-topia with a stirring of the ground and an explosion of glitter and smoke, the truest exit for a drama queen like him. And there stood Jane, as she lost the fifth love of her life before her very eyes.

Jane: No! Where'd my hunk of man meat go? Jeremiah, get over here! Someone's going to die tonight....

After this strange encounter with Dr. Beauegard J. Stormhart, tales started to spread of his devasting beat down of Princess Josephine at their wedding. He quickly became a beloved figure in their limited culture. The townspeople took his not-so-kind words to heart. And that is how the citizens of Jerry-topia learned to hate each other even more
(End of Part 3)
(The End)