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Piss test

tvellalott
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5/17/2011 8:38:20 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
So I've got to do a Category 3 Medical Test in two days and my boss has strongly implied that there will be some element of drug testing involved and Googling confirmed this. He didn't mention pot, only party drugs but that doesn't fill me with much confidence.

I smoke like 20-30 bongs a night. Can I possibly pass it?
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wjmelements
Posts: 8,206
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5/17/2011 8:41:52 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Drugs like marijuana are supposed to stay in your system for weeks. Drinking lots of water may help to decrease the proportion of the drug in your body, but you probably won't be able to purge it in two days.
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headphonegut
Posts: 4,122
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5/17/2011 8:44:21 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
LOl you should either wait 5 days and drink a lot of water or wait ten days
crying to soldiers coming home to their dogs why do I torment myself with these videos?
LaissezFaire
Posts: 2,050
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5/17/2011 8:46:21 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
There's pretty much no way you'll pass a drug test in two days if you're a heavy smoker, unless you bribe the lab or something.
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tvellalott
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5/17/2011 8:49:06 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/17/2011 8:40:07 PM, Koopin wrote:
At 5/17/2011 8:38:20 PM, tvellalott wrote:

I smoke like 20-30 bongs a night. Can I possibly pass it?

LOL

If you're gonna do it, you may as well go all out.

Upon investigation, it seems I very possibly could pass this test if I abstain until Friday and drink lots and lots of fluids.

The swab test is a massive fail; my step-mum smokes more than I do and she passed on yesterday after having a bong like 10 minutes earlier.

The urine test can likely be beaten by drinking lots and lots of fluids. I suppose going to the gym and busting my balls for the next two nights could help flush my system a bit more.

The blood test may come up positively; if I don't smoke until the test and pray to Allah (peace be upon him) that they don't have a particularly sensitive tester.

This website is very informative: http://norml.org...
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tvellalott
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5/17/2011 8:50:51 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
FYI, I called this topic 'Piss test', but I'm not sure that's the particular test they will do.
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Cliff.Stamp
Posts: 2,169
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5/17/2011 8:54:46 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Drink a lot of water, take two multi-vitamins the night before (to avoid urine which is essentially water which can a lower tolerance test), and if necessary destroy the sample by dipping your finger tips in something like bleach and urinating over them. This will cause you to be retested and by that time you will be clean.
tvellalott
Posts: 10,864
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5/17/2011 8:58:34 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/17/2011 8:57:38 PM, Koopin wrote:
BEST ANSWER: Pay someone $5 for their pee. Put it in a bad, and when you get there empty it. Easy win.

Could you send me some over in the man package? ^_-
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Koopin
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5/17/2011 8:59:22 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/17/2011 8:58:34 PM, tvellalott wrote:
At 5/17/2011 8:57:38 PM, Koopin wrote:
BEST ANSWER: Pay someone $5 for their pee. Put it in a bad, and when you get there empty it. Easy win.

Could you send me some over in the man package? ^_-

Ha ha ha ha ha.
kfc
Koopin
Posts: 12,090
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5/17/2011 9:00:19 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/17/2011 8:59:22 PM, Koopin wrote:
At 5/17/2011 8:58:34 PM, tvellalott wrote:
At 5/17/2011 8:57:38 PM, Koopin wrote:
BEST ANSWER: Pay someone $5 for their pee. Put it in a bad, and when you get there empty it. Easy win.

Could you send me some over in the man package? ^_-

Ha ha ha ha ha.

BTW, I'm gonna ship that package tomorrow or Thursday. I had was busy yesterday holding up a sign with your name on it at the store and recording it.
kfc
headphonegut
Posts: 4,122
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5/17/2011 9:00:51 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/17/2011 8:49:06 PM, tvellalott wrote:
At 5/17/2011 8:40:07 PM, Koopin wrote:
At 5/17/2011 8:38:20 PM, tvellalott wrote:

I smoke like 20-30 bongs a night. Can I possibly pass it?

LOL

If you're gonna do it, you may as well go all out.

Upon investigation, it seems I very possibly could pass this test if I abstain until Friday and drink lots and lots of fluids.

The swab test is a massive fail; my step-mum smokes more than I do and she passed on yesterday after having a bong like 10 minutes earlier.

The urine test can likely be beaten by drinking lots and lots of fluids. I suppose going to the gym and busting my balls for the next two nights could help flush my system a bit more.

The blood test may come up positively; if I don't smoke until the test and pray to Allah (peace be upon him) that they don't have a particularly sensitive tester.

This website is very informative: http://norml.org...

That's smart dilution is key and 20% of body waste is secreted through pores good luck
crying to soldiers coming home to their dogs why do I torment myself with these videos?
Koopin
Posts: 12,090
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5/17/2011 9:02:56 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/17/2011 9:00:19 PM, Koopin wrote:
At 5/17/2011 8:59:22 PM, Koopin wrote:
At 5/17/2011 8:58:34 PM, tvellalott wrote:
At 5/17/2011 8:57:38 PM, Koopin wrote:
BEST ANSWER: Pay someone $5 for their pee. Put it in a bad, and when you get there empty it. Easy win.

Could you send me some over in the man package? ^_-

Ha ha ha ha ha.

BTW, I'm gonna ship that package tomorrow or Thursday. I was busy yesterday holding up a sign with your name on it at the store and recording it.

fixed
kfc
tvellalott
Posts: 10,864
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5/17/2011 9:11:18 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Koopin, I already know that this video is going to be Category 11 win (that's one more than was every previously achieved!)
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badger
Posts: 11,793
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5/18/2011 1:02:06 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
i'd one for the job i have now.. which i passed i'd say as i have it.. unless they were thinking "this dude is just so unreal we don't care if he's on drugs"?

but anyway.. i hear citric acid is the way to go.. i was taking shots of vinegar and drinking galleons of orange juice for the week prior to mine.. on top of all the drugs i also took that week what with having had a free house..

i got the job?
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badger
Posts: 11,793
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5/18/2011 1:06:57 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/18/2011 1:02:06 PM, badger wrote:
i'd one for the job i have now.. which i passed i'd say as i have it.. unless they were thinking "this dude is just so unreal we don't care if he's on drugs"?

but anyway.. i hear citric acid is the way to go.. i was taking shots of vinegar and drinking galleons of orange juice for the week prior to mine.. on top of all the drugs i also took that week what with having had a free house..

i got the job?

if you know any heroin addicts the can apparently get prescribed pure citric acid which is a powder to be mixed in with water and drank which will completely clear out your body in 24 hours.

my source for this bit of information being a murderer who drinks window cleaner through slices of bread. so...
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badger
Posts: 11,793
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5/18/2011 1:08:28 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/18/2011 1:06:57 PM, badger wrote:
At 5/18/2011 1:02:06 PM, badger wrote:
i'd one for the job i have now.. which i passed i'd say as i have it.. unless they were thinking "this dude is just so unreal we don't care if he's on drugs"?

but anyway.. i hear citric acid is the way to go.. i was taking shots of vinegar and drinking galleons of orange juice for the week prior to mine.. on top of all the drugs i also took that week what with having had a free house..

i got the job?

if you know any heroin addicts the can apparently get prescribed pure citric acid which is a powder to be mixed in with water and drank which will completely clear out your body in 24 hours.

my source for this bit of information being a convicted murderer who drinks window cleaner through slices of bread. so...

fix'd

he's excellent at pool though in fairness to him.
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badger
Posts: 11,793
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5/18/2011 1:19:19 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/18/2011 1:08:28 PM, badger wrote:
At 5/18/2011 1:06:57 PM, badger wrote:
At 5/18/2011 1:02:06 PM, badger wrote:
i'd one for the job i have now.. which i passed i'd say as i have it.. unless they were thinking "this dude is just so unreal we don't care if he's on drugs"?

but anyway.. i hear citric acid is the way to go.. i was taking shots of vinegar and drinking galleons of orange juice for the week prior to mine.. on top of all the drugs i also took that week what with having had a free house..

i got the job?

if you know any heroin addicts the can apparently get prescribed pure citric acid which is a powder to be mixed in with water and drank which will completely clear out your body in 24 hours.

my source for this bit of information being a convicted murderer who drinks window cleaner through slices of bread. so...

fix'd

he's excellent at pool though in fairness to him.

and he seems to make more on welfare than i do working however he manages it. i think he intentionally got himself barred from driving so the government would have to pay his mortgage or something like that. funny man.
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badger
Posts: 11,793
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5/18/2011 1:23:54 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
i sold him my friend's 15 year old sister's phone number one night for a bag of coke. he's like 50. people are great aren't they...?
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Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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5/18/2011 1:26:12 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/18/2011 1:21:28 PM, badger wrote:
he beat a fella to death with an iron bar over the fella not having given him a cigarette lol.

I once shot a man in Reno.
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badger
Posts: 11,793
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5/18/2011 1:26:33 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
i could go on. his name is timmy john! i've actually another neighbour who'd put timmy john's stories to shame though..
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badger
Posts: 11,793
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5/18/2011 1:27:29 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/18/2011 1:26:12 PM, OreEle wrote:
At 5/18/2011 1:21:28 PM, badger wrote:
he beat a fella to death with an iron bar over the fella not having given him a cigarette lol.

I once shot a man in Reno.

just to watch him die? good crack?
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CosmicAlfonzo
Posts: 5,955
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5/18/2011 1:28:16 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
These guys are setting you up for failure.

Get someone who you know is clean to piss in a sealable plastic type bag. Before the drug test, nuke the piss so that it is warm, then wrap it around your johnson.

When time comes for you to piss in the cup, take the plastic bag out, and "piss" it out into the cup. Those details, you can figure out(kind of bag, how to make it sounds like you are pissing).

You will pass unless the person you borrowed piss lied, or you don't have the stuff at the right temp. It has to be warm. I forgot the exact temp, but you can look that up.
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badger
Posts: 11,793
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5/18/2011 1:28:36 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
didn't make any difference that your mamma told you to always be a good boy and never play with guns i suppose, oreele?
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innomen
Posts: 10,052
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5/18/2011 1:29:55 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Drink lots and lots of water, but also take a heavy diuretic the day before. It will make you pee everything you got out of you, but make sure you take some potassium and a mulit or you'll faint.
badger
Posts: 11,793
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5/18/2011 1:32:54 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/17/2011 8:54:46 PM, Cliff.Stamp wrote:
Drink a lot of water, take two multi-vitamins the night before (to avoid urine which is essentially water which can a lower tolerance test), and if necessary destroy the sample by dipping your finger tips in something like bleach and urinating over them. This will cause you to be retested and by that time you will be clean.

fake having a gall stone get jammed in your cock!
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