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My Friends mother died

I-am-a-panda
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11/20/2009 11:35:41 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
and I went to the funeral just 2 hours ago. However, rather than begin devastated, he was happy, hell he was laughing. I want to know:

- Is this a peculiarity of the mind
- Is he holding in?
- Could he legitimately not care??
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johngriswald
Posts: 1,294
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11/20/2009 11:38:52 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
I'm sorry for your/his loss. Was she perhaps suffering a long time before her death or was it sudden?
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I-am-a-panda
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11/20/2009 11:43:41 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 11/20/2009 11:38:52 AM, johngriswald wrote:
I'm sorry for your/his loss. Was he perhaps suffering a long time before her death or was it sudden?

Sudden, a car crash in which she was hit. http://www.irishtimes.com...
Pizza. I have enormous respect for Pizza.
johngriswald
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11/20/2009 11:56:50 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
I thought you said it was your friends mother, that's why i said was she suffering, i don't understand why you switched it to.

But knowing that it was quick in sudden it is really odd. Everyone has different reactions to death and its hard to say that something is wrong with him. Sometimes it takes longer to hit certain people and the reactions are not sudden. Some people laugh and fill themselves with humor to ignore the pain, but i assure you he is/will not be fine, and will most likely need your support in the coming months/years.
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mattrodstrom
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11/20/2009 9:31:39 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
yeah that really sucks. I gotta imagine he's not really cool with that happening, but rather that pretty soon he's going to take it pretty hard. Though his reaction kind of makes sense because how the f'k else can you deal with that kind of thing, you can't.
"He who does not know how to put his will into things at least puts a meaning into them: that is, he believes there is a will in them already."

Metaphysics:
"The science.. which deals with the fundamental errors of mankind - but as if they were the fundamental truths."
PoeJoe
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11/20/2009 10:28:03 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
Perhaps that's his way of coping. Sorta like how, today, I laughed off a really hard chem test with my friends...just that in his case, it's a lot more extreme.

Well, I mean, and but so, either that, or he's psychopathic.
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johngriswald
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11/20/2009 10:45:12 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
great analogy poejoe
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Rob1Billion
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11/21/2009 2:59:29 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
when my mother died, i distinctly remember the priest at her service. he was smiling and happy. i thought, wtf? then it hit me. why are we supposed to be sad? the dead feel no pain; no loss. we can feel sorry for ourselves, but that is a bit selfish (albeit understandable). would you want everyone moping and miserable at your funeral? i realized that a funeral should be more of a commemoration than a time for open sorrow. it really is no time to feel sorry for yourself, it is a time to recognize the dead and celebrate the life that they had. that's not to say that crying isnt a part of funerals... but i think people have a way of losing the meaninig of the whole process, and that priest really opened my eyes to how it really should be handled. whether your friend was taking this POV or just didnt care is up to you to decide i suppose
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johngriswald
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11/21/2009 3:33:44 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
Actually that entire theory is reflected here in Akira Kurosawa's Dreams Watermill Village:

Part 1
Part 2
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johngriswald
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11/21/2009 3:42:59 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
8:30 Part 1 is where this sentiment is. btw
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brooke_bowen
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12/11/2009 10:06:49 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
in fact this could be normal to my opinion

it takes time for some to deal with the lost of a loved one or a close one

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