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USSR tries to win Cold War with Corn Flakes

lannan13
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12/20/2014 11:19:32 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Not too many people know this hilarious Soviet failure so I'll explain this lovely tale of Russian corn flakes.

Russia's economy was just starting to caught up to the United States and they were looking for a way to surpass the United States. Now note at this time they don't have refridgeration so Russians had to make everything from scratch and go to the store. Which going to the store in Russia in itself is a hastle. Say you wanted to buy a bottle of milk. You would have to find the milk clerk and get a ticket from him and he would get it for you and you would do this for every item. Not to mention that the Russians didn't trust their citizens not to steel their goods so everything was behind a glass window kinda like how they have cigarettes at Wal Mart.

Khruschev was visting the United States and on his tour one of the many places he decides to visit is a Corn Field in Iowa of all places and the media was following him and they were trampling the Corn and the farmer got on them. Khruschev wounders why was he growing all this corn. He asks the farmer. The farmer says, "THis is for people to eat." Khrushchev freaks out, because in Eastern Europe corn is only used for animal feed. The farmer reassures him stating that they make this into cerial. Khrushchev says, "Ceral? How long does it take to make this?" Farmer responds, "Like, uhh, 5 seconds." Khrushchev's mind's blown. It takes the average meal to be made hours as they are made from sctratch and this would give the women in Russia sleep and the Soviet Economy could finially surpass that of the United States.

Khrushchev goes back to Russia and orders construction of Corn Flake factories all over the country. Now, we all love a little milk in our cerial, right? Well Russia didn't have refridgeration so instead they had Buttermilk for their cerial. Gross. Well we all like Sugar on our Corn Flakes. Russia imports their sugar cubes from Cuba (no pun intended) and they aren't like the sugar we have in the US. It takes forever to dissolve so that solution is out the window. So all the Corn Flakes were never eaten, but if you go to Russia today and look for Corn Flakes you will see Corn Flakes that are 40 50 years old. You'll also find a notice in Russia stating, "Eat with mouth."

This is why we have prior planning guys.
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If the sky's the limit then why do we have footprints on the Moon? I'm shooting my aspirations for the stars.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt

Topics I want to debate. (http://tinyurl.com...)
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Atheist-Independent
Posts: 776
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12/20/2014 11:27:14 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/20/2014 11:19:32 PM, lannan13 wrote:
Not too many people know this hilarious Soviet failure so I'll explain this lovely tale of Russian corn flakes.

Russia's economy was just starting to caught up to the United States and they were looking for a way to surpass the United States. Now note at this time they don't have refridgeration so Russians had to make everything from scratch and go to the store. Which going to the store in Russia in itself is a hastle. Say you wanted to buy a bottle of milk. You would have to find the milk clerk and get a ticket from him and he would get it for you and you would do this for every item. Not to mention that the Russians didn't trust their citizens not to steel their goods so everything was behind a glass window kinda like how they have cigarettes at Wal Mart.

Khruschev was visting the United States and on his tour one of the many places he decides to visit is a Corn Field in Iowa of all places and the media was following him and they were trampling the Corn and the farmer got on them. Khruschev wounders why was he growing all this corn. He asks the farmer. The farmer says, "THis is for people to eat." Khrushchev freaks out, because in Eastern Europe corn is only used for animal feed. The farmer reassures him stating that they make this into cerial. Khrushchev says, "Ceral? How long does it take to make this?" Farmer responds, "Like, uhh, 5 seconds." Khrushchev's mind's blown. It takes the average meal to be made hours as they are made from sctratch and this would give the women in Russia sleep and the Soviet Economy could finially surpass that of the United States.

Khrushchev goes back to Russia and orders construction of Corn Flake factories all over the country. Now, we all love a little milk in our cerial, right? Well Russia didn't have refridgeration so instead they had Buttermilk for their cerial. Gross. Well we all like Sugar on our Corn Flakes. Russia imports their sugar cubes from Cuba (no pun intended) and they aren't like the sugar we have in the US. It takes forever to dissolve so that solution is out the window. So all the Corn Flakes were never eaten, but if you go to Russia today and look for Corn Flakes you will see Corn Flakes that are 40 50 years old. You'll also find a notice in Russia stating, "Eat with mouth."

This is why we have prior planning guys.

"Who needs milk with your cereal? We'll just poor Vodka in it, it'll taste fine." - Russian Guy
lannan13
Posts: 23,017
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12/20/2014 11:30:06 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/20/2014 11:27:14 PM, Atheist-Independent wrote:
At 12/20/2014 11:19:32 PM, lannan13 wrote:
Not too many people know this hilarious Soviet failure so I'll explain this lovely tale of Russian corn flakes.

Russia's economy was just starting to caught up to the United States and they were looking for a way to surpass the United States. Now note at this time they don't have refridgeration so Russians had to make everything from scratch and go to the store. Which going to the store in Russia in itself is a hastle. Say you wanted to buy a bottle of milk. You would have to find the milk clerk and get a ticket from him and he would get it for you and you would do this for every item. Not to mention that the Russians didn't trust their citizens not to steel their goods so everything was behind a glass window kinda like how they have cigarettes at Wal Mart.

Khruschev was visting the United States and on his tour one of the many places he decides to visit is a Corn Field in Iowa of all places and the media was following him and they were trampling the Corn and the farmer got on them. Khruschev wounders why was he growing all this corn. He asks the farmer. The farmer says, "THis is for people to eat." Khrushchev freaks out, because in Eastern Europe corn is only used for animal feed. The farmer reassures him stating that they make this into cerial. Khrushchev says, "Ceral? How long does it take to make this?" Farmer responds, "Like, uhh, 5 seconds." Khrushchev's mind's blown. It takes the average meal to be made hours as they are made from sctratch and this would give the women in Russia sleep and the Soviet Economy could finially surpass that of the United States.

Khrushchev goes back to Russia and orders construction of Corn Flake factories all over the country. Now, we all love a little milk in our cerial, right? Well Russia didn't have refridgeration so instead they had Buttermilk for their cerial. Gross. Well we all like Sugar on our Corn Flakes. Russia imports their sugar cubes from Cuba (no pun intended) and they aren't like the sugar we have in the US. It takes forever to dissolve so that solution is out the window. So all the Corn Flakes were never eaten, but if you go to Russia today and look for Corn Flakes you will see Corn Flakes that are 40 50 years old. You'll also find a notice in Russia stating, "Eat with mouth."

This is why we have prior planning guys.

"Who needs milk with your cereal? We'll just poor Vodka in it, it'll taste fine." - Russian Guy

LOL, I'm sure it would be a completely different taste.
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If the sky's the limit then why do we have footprints on the Moon? I'm shooting my aspirations for the stars.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt

Topics I want to debate. (http://tinyurl.com...)
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tabularasa
Posts: 200
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12/24/2014 11:50:20 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Great story!
1. I already googled it.

2. Give me an argument. Spell it out. "You're wrong," is not an argument.
lannan13
Posts: 23,017
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8/2/2016 2:16:47 AM
Posted: 4 months ago
bump
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-Lannan13'S SIGNATURE-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

If the sky's the limit then why do we have footprints on the Moon? I'm shooting my aspirations for the stars.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt

Topics I want to debate. (http://tinyurl.com...)
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I_Wanna_Rawk
Posts: 480
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8/4/2016 2:29:49 AM
Posted: 4 months ago
At 12/20/2014 11:27:14 PM, Atheist-Independent wrote:
At 12/20/2014 11:19:32 PM, lannan13 wrote:
Not too many people know this hilarious Soviet failure so I'll explain this lovely tale of Russian corn flakes.

Russia's economy was just starting to caught up to the United States and they were looking for a way to surpass the United States. Now note at this time they don't have refridgeration so Russians had to make everything from scratch and go to the store. Which going to the store in Russia in itself is a hastle. Say you wanted to buy a bottle of milk. You would have to find the milk clerk and get a ticket from him and he would get it for you and you would do this for every item. Not to mention that the Russians didn't trust their citizens not to steel their goods so everything was behind a glass window kinda like how they have cigarettes at Wal Mart.

Khruschev was visting the United States and on his tour one of the many places he decides to visit is a Corn Field in Iowa of all places and the media was following him and they were trampling the Corn and the farmer got on them. Khruschev wounders why was he growing all this corn. He asks the farmer. The farmer says, "THis is for people to eat." Khrushchev freaks out, because in Eastern Europe corn is only used for animal feed. The farmer reassures him stating that they make this into cerial. Khrushchev says, "Ceral? How long does it take to make this?" Farmer responds, "Like, uhh, 5 seconds." Khrushchev's mind's blown. It takes the average meal to be made hours as they are made from sctratch and this would give the women in Russia sleep and the Soviet Economy could finially surpass that of the United States.

Khrushchev goes back to Russia and orders construction of Corn Flake factories all over the country. Now, we all love a little milk in our cerial, right? Well Russia didn't have refridgeration so instead they had Buttermilk for their cerial. Gross. Well we all like Sugar on our Corn Flakes. Russia imports their sugar cubes from Cuba (no pun intended) and they aren't like the sugar we have in the US. It takes forever to dissolve so that solution is out the window. So all the Corn Flakes were never eaten, but if you go to Russia today and look for Corn Flakes you will see Corn Flakes that are 40 50 years old. You'll also find a notice in Russia stating, "Eat with mouth."

This is why we have prior planning guys.

"Who needs milk with your cereal? We'll just poor Vodka in it, it'll taste fine." - Russian Guy

That was honestly the funniest thing I've ever seen on this site.
lannan13
Posts: 23,017
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8/7/2016 2:06:56 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 8/4/2016 2:29:49 AM, I_Wanna_Rawk wrote:
At 12/20/2014 11:27:14 PM, Atheist-Independent wrote:
At 12/20/2014 11:19:32 PM, lannan13 wrote:
Not too many people know this hilarious Soviet failure so I'll explain this lovely tale of Russian corn flakes.

Russia's economy was just starting to caught up to the United States and they were looking for a way to surpass the United States. Now note at this time they don't have refridgeration so Russians had to make everything from scratch and go to the store. Which going to the store in Russia in itself is a hastle. Say you wanted to buy a bottle of milk. You would have to find the milk clerk and get a ticket from him and he would get it for you and you would do this for every item. Not to mention that the Russians didn't trust their citizens not to steel their goods so everything was behind a glass window kinda like how they have cigarettes at Wal Mart.

Khruschev was visting the United States and on his tour one of the many places he decides to visit is a Corn Field in Iowa of all places and the media was following him and they were trampling the Corn and the farmer got on them. Khruschev wounders why was he growing all this corn. He asks the farmer. The farmer says, "THis is for people to eat." Khrushchev freaks out, because in Eastern Europe corn is only used for animal feed. The farmer reassures him stating that they make this into cerial. Khrushchev says, "Ceral? How long does it take to make this?" Farmer responds, "Like, uhh, 5 seconds." Khrushchev's mind's blown. It takes the average meal to be made hours as they are made from sctratch and this would give the women in Russia sleep and the Soviet Economy could finially surpass that of the United States.

Khrushchev goes back to Russia and orders construction of Corn Flake factories all over the country. Now, we all love a little milk in our cerial, right? Well Russia didn't have refridgeration so instead they had Buttermilk for their cerial. Gross. Well we all like Sugar on our Corn Flakes. Russia imports their sugar cubes from Cuba (no pun intended) and they aren't like the sugar we have in the US. It takes forever to dissolve so that solution is out the window. So all the Corn Flakes were never eaten, but if you go to Russia today and look for Corn Flakes you will see Corn Flakes that are 40 50 years old. You'll also find a notice in Russia stating, "Eat with mouth."

This is why we have prior planning guys.

"Who needs milk with your cereal? We'll just poor Vodka in it, it'll taste fine." - Russian Guy

That was honestly the funniest thing I've ever seen on this site.

That's history for you.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-Lannan13'S SIGNATURE-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

If the sky's the limit then why do we have footprints on the Moon? I'm shooting my aspirations for the stars.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt

Topics I want to debate. (http://tinyurl.com...)
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Vaarka
Posts: 7,527
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8/24/2016 1:05:10 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 12/20/2014 11:19:32 PM, lannan13 wrote:
Not too many people know this hilarious Soviet failure so I'll explain this lovely tale of Russian corn flakes.

Russia's economy was just starting to caught up to the United States and they were looking for a way to surpass the United States. Now note at this time they don't have refridgeration so Russians had to make everything from scratch and go to the store. Which going to the store in Russia in itself is a hastle. Say you wanted to buy a bottle of milk. You would have to find the milk clerk and get a ticket from him and he would get it for you and you would do this for every item. Not to mention that the Russians didn't trust their citizens not to steel their goods so everything was behind a glass window kinda like how they have cigarettes at Wal Mart.

Khruschev was visting the United States and on his tour one of the many places he decides to visit is a Corn Field in Iowa of all places and the media was following him and they were trampling the Corn and the farmer got on them. Khruschev wounders why was he growing all this corn. He asks the farmer. The farmer says, "THis is for people to eat." Khrushchev freaks out, because in Eastern Europe corn is only used for animal feed. The farmer reassures him stating that they make this into cerial. Khrushchev says, "Ceral? How long does it take to make this?" Farmer responds, "Like, uhh, 5 seconds." Khrushchev's mind's blown. It takes the average meal to be made hours as they are made from sctratch and this would give the women in Russia sleep and the Soviet Economy could finially surpass that of the United States.

Khrushchev goes back to Russia and orders construction of Corn Flake factories all over the country. Now, we all love a little milk in our cerial, right? Well Russia didn't have refridgeration so instead they had Buttermilk for their cerial. Gross. Well we all like Sugar on our Corn Flakes. Russia imports their sugar cubes from Cuba (no pun intended) and they aren't like the sugar we have in the US. It takes forever to dissolve so that solution is out the window. So all the Corn Flakes were never eaten, but if you go to Russia today and look for Corn Flakes you will see Corn Flakes that are 40 50 years old. You'll also find a notice in Russia stating, "Eat with mouth."

This is why we have prior planning guys.

I remember talking about this in history last year XD
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya
lannan13
Posts: 23,017
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8/24/2016 1:36:36 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 8/24/2016 1:05:10 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 12/20/2014 11:19:32 PM, lannan13 wrote:
Not too many people know this hilarious Soviet failure so I'll explain this lovely tale of Russian corn flakes.

Russia's economy was just starting to caught up to the United States and they were looking for a way to surpass the United States. Now note at this time they don't have refridgeration so Russians had to make everything from scratch and go to the store. Which going to the store in Russia in itself is a hastle. Say you wanted to buy a bottle of milk. You would have to find the milk clerk and get a ticket from him and he would get it for you and you would do this for every item. Not to mention that the Russians didn't trust their citizens not to steel their goods so everything was behind a glass window kinda like how they have cigarettes at Wal Mart.

Khruschev was visting the United States and on his tour one of the many places he decides to visit is a Corn Field in Iowa of all places and the media was following him and they were trampling the Corn and the farmer got on them. Khruschev wounders why was he growing all this corn. He asks the farmer. The farmer says, "THis is for people to eat." Khrushchev freaks out, because in Eastern Europe corn is only used for animal feed. The farmer reassures him stating that they make this into cerial. Khrushchev says, "Ceral? How long does it take to make this?" Farmer responds, "Like, uhh, 5 seconds." Khrushchev's mind's blown. It takes the average meal to be made hours as they are made from sctratch and this would give the women in Russia sleep and the Soviet Economy could finially surpass that of the United States.

Khrushchev goes back to Russia and orders construction of Corn Flake factories all over the country. Now, we all love a little milk in our cerial, right? Well Russia didn't have refridgeration so instead they had Buttermilk for their cerial. Gross. Well we all like Sugar on our Corn Flakes. Russia imports their sugar cubes from Cuba (no pun intended) and they aren't like the sugar we have in the US. It takes forever to dissolve so that solution is out the window. So all the Corn Flakes were never eaten, but if you go to Russia today and look for Corn Flakes you will see Corn Flakes that are 40 50 years old. You'll also find a notice in Russia stating, "Eat with mouth."

This is why we have prior planning guys.

I remember talking about this in history last year XD

"murica
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-Lannan13'S SIGNATURE-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

If the sky's the limit then why do we have footprints on the Moon? I'm shooting my aspirations for the stars.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt

Topics I want to debate. (http://tinyurl.com...)
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The-Voice-of-Truth
Posts: 6,542
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8/24/2016 2:14:13 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 8/7/2016 2:06:56 PM, lannan13 wrote:

I literally read this the day you posted it. I remember laughing in the middle of class lol.
Suh dude

"Because we all know who the most important snowflake in the wasteland is... It's YOU, champ! You're a special snowflake." -Vaarka, 01:30 in the hangouts

"Screw laying siege to Korea. That usually takes an hour or so." -Vaarka

"Crap, what is my religion again?" -Vaarka

I'm Rick Harrison and this is my pawn shop. I work here with my old man and my son, Big Hoss, and in 23 years I've learned one thing. You never know what is gonna come through that door.
lannan13
Posts: 23,017
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8/24/2016 2:15:24 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 8/24/2016 2:14:13 PM, The-Voice-of-Truth wrote:
At 8/7/2016 2:06:56 PM, lannan13 wrote:

I literally read this the day you posted it. I remember laughing in the middle of class lol.

I aim to please.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-Lannan13'S SIGNATURE-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

If the sky's the limit then why do we have footprints on the Moon? I'm shooting my aspirations for the stars.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt

Topics I want to debate. (http://tinyurl.com...)
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Vaarka
Posts: 7,527
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8/24/2016 2:18:22 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 8/24/2016 2:14:13 PM, The-Voice-of-Truth wrote:
At 8/7/2016 2:06:56 PM, lannan13 wrote:

I literally read this the day you posted it. I remember laughing in the middle of class lol.

I'm still waiting for your reply to my comment the other day...
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya
The-Voice-of-Truth
Posts: 6,542
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8/24/2016 2:18:53 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 8/24/2016 2:18:22 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 8/24/2016 2:14:13 PM, The-Voice-of-Truth wrote:
At 8/7/2016 2:06:56 PM, lannan13 wrote:

I literally read this the day you posted it. I remember laughing in the middle of class lol.

I'm still waiting for your reply to my comment the other day...

wat comment
Suh dude

"Because we all know who the most important snowflake in the wasteland is... It's YOU, champ! You're a special snowflake." -Vaarka, 01:30 in the hangouts

"Screw laying siege to Korea. That usually takes an hour or so." -Vaarka

"Crap, what is my religion again?" -Vaarka

I'm Rick Harrison and this is my pawn shop. I work here with my old man and my son, Big Hoss, and in 23 years I've learned one thing. You never know what is gonna come through that door.
Vaarka
Posts: 7,527
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8/24/2016 2:19:11 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 8/24/2016 2:18:53 PM, The-Voice-of-Truth wrote:
At 8/24/2016 2:18:22 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 8/24/2016 2:14:13 PM, The-Voice-of-Truth wrote:
At 8/7/2016 2:06:56 PM, lannan13 wrote:

I literally read this the day you posted it. I remember laughing in the middle of class lol.

I'm still waiting for your reply to my comment the other day...

wat comment

*cough check your profile*
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya
The-Voice-of-Truth
Posts: 6,542
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8/24/2016 2:20:05 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 8/24/2016 2:19:11 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 8/24/2016 2:18:53 PM, The-Voice-of-Truth wrote:
At 8/24/2016 2:18:22 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 8/24/2016 2:14:13 PM, The-Voice-of-Truth wrote:
At 8/7/2016 2:06:56 PM, lannan13 wrote:

I literally read this the day you posted it. I remember laughing in the middle of class lol.

I'm still waiting for your reply to my comment the other day...

wat comment

*cough check your profile*

omg lol how am I supposed to respond to that? xD
Suh dude

"Because we all know who the most important snowflake in the wasteland is... It's YOU, champ! You're a special snowflake." -Vaarka, 01:30 in the hangouts

"Screw laying siege to Korea. That usually takes an hour or so." -Vaarka

"Crap, what is my religion again?" -Vaarka

I'm Rick Harrison and this is my pawn shop. I work here with my old man and my son, Big Hoss, and in 23 years I've learned one thing. You never know what is gonna come through that door.
Vaarka
Posts: 7,527
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8/24/2016 2:20:37 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 8/24/2016 2:20:05 PM, The-Voice-of-Truth wrote:
At 8/24/2016 2:19:11 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 8/24/2016 2:18:53 PM, The-Voice-of-Truth wrote:
At 8/24/2016 2:18:22 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 8/24/2016 2:14:13 PM, The-Voice-of-Truth wrote:
At 8/7/2016 2:06:56 PM, lannan13 wrote:

I literally read this the day you posted it. I remember laughing in the middle of class lol.

I'm still waiting for your reply to my comment the other day...

wat comment

*cough check your profile*

omg lol how am I supposed to respond to that? xD

Properly... if you respond wrong I'll be slightly disappointed
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya