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Does Divorce Hurt Children

SuzzaneO
Posts: 47
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5/25/2011 3:08:06 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Should you stay together for the sake of your child? Research shows that children from split families suffer from more social disorders and development issues than children from families with mom and dad in tact.
vardas0antras
Posts: 983
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5/25/2011 5:06:26 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/25/2011 3:08:06 PM, SuzzaneO wrote:
Should you stay together for the sake of your child? Research shows that children from split families suffer from more social disorders and development issues than children from families with mom and dad in tact.

There are many factors to consider. Personally, family makes no difference to me; wealth matters.
"When he awoke in a tomb three days later he would actually have believed that he rose from the dead" FREEDO about the resurrection of Jesus Christ
I-am-a-panda
Posts: 15,380
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5/25/2011 5:12:31 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/25/2011 3:08:06 PM, SuzzaneO wrote:
Should you stay together for the sake of your child? Research shows that children from split families suffer from more social disorders and development issues than children from families with mom and dad in tact.

What studies?
Pizza. I have enormous respect for Pizza.
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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5/25/2011 5:14:24 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/25/2011 5:12:31 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 5/25/2011 3:08:06 PM, SuzzaneO wrote:
Should you stay together for the sake of your child? Research shows that children from split families suffer from more social disorders and development issues than children from families with mom and dad in tact.

What studies?

You know, studies.
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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5/25/2011 5:14:58 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/25/2011 3:08:06 PM, SuzzaneO wrote:
Should you stay together for the sake of your child? Research shows that children from split families suffer from more social disorders and development issues than children from families with mom and dad in tact.

A family that is naturally intact =/= a family that is about to divorce but staying together for the sake of the kids.
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
Greyparrot
Posts: 14,268
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5/25/2011 5:18:34 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/25/2011 5:14:58 PM, OreEle wrote:
At 5/25/2011 3:08:06 PM, SuzzaneO wrote:
Should you stay together for the sake of your child? Research shows that children from split families suffer from more social disorders and development issues than children from families with mom and dad in tact.

A family that is naturally intact =/= a family that is about to divorce but staying together for the sake of the kids.

Studies show that crappy spouses living together raise wonderful error-free spawn.
jharry
Posts: 4,984
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5/25/2011 5:23:53 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/25/2011 5:12:31 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 5/25/2011 3:08:06 PM, SuzzaneO wrote:
Should you stay together for the sake of your child? Research shows that children from split families suffer from more social disorders and development issues than children from families with mom and dad in tact.

What studies?

Google.

Yes divorce is a negative in the life of a child. If not only immediate there are also long term effects.
In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen
Mirza
Posts: 16,992
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5/25/2011 5:25:09 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/25/2011 5:12:31 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 5/25/2011 3:08:06 PM, SuzzaneO wrote:
Should you stay together for the sake of your child? Research shows that children from split families suffer from more social disorders and development issues than children from families with mom and dad in tact.

What studies?
http://www.childadvocate.net...

It is too obvious to even ask for studies.
Mirza
Posts: 16,992
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5/25/2011 5:29:02 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/25/2011 3:08:06 PM, SuzzaneO wrote:
Should you stay together for the sake of your child? Research shows that children from split families suffer from more social disorders and development issues than children from families with mom and dad in tact.
Well, there's a saying that a happy divorce is better than a devastated marriage. I think divorce should be the last resort in most cases though.
jharry
Posts: 4,984
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5/25/2011 5:43:47 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/25/2011 5:14:58 PM, OreEle wrote:
At 5/25/2011 3:08:06 PM, SuzzaneO wrote:
Should you stay together for the sake of your child? Research shows that children from split families suffer from more social disorders and development issues than children from families with mom and dad in tact.

A family that is naturally intact =/= a family that is about to divorce but staying together for the sake of the kids.

I have, several times. And I thank the Lord that I did. My wife almost divorced me, actually five times. Why? Because I was a piece of sh1t. We fought constantly. I stayed gone all the time partying. I did every thing wrong or didn't even try. So many times I said to myself "screw it, let her divorce me. I'm done trying to be something I'm not". But then I would see my children. And I couldn't do it. I would promise her I would change even though I knew I was lying. If I would have given in to my childish selfishness I could have hurt my children dearly. All the "pain" I thought I was going through staying was more then worth it, ten times more.
In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen
Phoenix_Reaper
Posts: 318
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5/25/2011 5:52:57 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
My parents were in the process of getting a divorce and it didn't bother me. Ultimately it didn't happen cause my dad killed himself. Both of which did not bother me cause I know that life sucks, accept it, and move on.
Phoenix Reaper - To rise from the ashes of defeat and claim your soul.

: At 3/15/2011 4:23:07 PM, J.Kenyon wrote:
: Taste is for pussïes. Be a nihilist. Drink vodka.
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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5/25/2011 6:02:32 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/25/2011 5:14:58 PM, OreEle wrote:
At 5/25/2011 3:08:06 PM, SuzzaneO wrote:
Should you stay together for the sake of your child? Research shows that children from split families suffer from more social disorders and development issues than children from families with mom and dad in tact.

A family that is naturally intact =/= a family that is about to divorce but staying together for the sake of the kids.

This. I have had both. I would take "broken" family over a family patched together with some superglue so that it looks like everything is fine. I have both, I would know.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
jharry
Posts: 4,984
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5/25/2011 6:16:37 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/25/2011 6:02:32 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 5/25/2011 5:14:58 PM, OreEle wrote:
At 5/25/2011 3:08:06 PM, SuzzaneO wrote:
Should you stay together for the sake of your child? Research shows that children from split families suffer from more social disorders and development issues than children from families with mom and dad in tact.

A family that is naturally intact =/= a family that is about to divorce but staying together for the sake of the kids.

This. I have had both. I would take "broken" family over a family patched together with some superglue so that it looks like everything is fine. I have both, I would know.

I'm sure there are different effects for different people. Different circumstances. But the overwhelming majority of people I know and have known along with my childrens friends would prefer the marriage to stay intact. My own children say this. It all comes down to why divorce is even a choice. I'm not totally against divorce, but I know for me there would have to be some extreme consequences for not getting one.
In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen
InsertNameHere
Posts: 15,699
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5/25/2011 6:35:42 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
My parents have been divorced since I was about six years old and it has certainly had a negative effect on me. My mother was stuck with the children(my older sister and me) and working minimum wage jobs while being in an abusive relationship. It was during this time she became pregnant with my half-brother and there were times when I was afraid for my mother since this same guy would push her over when she was pregnant and such. Of course another child meant even more financial trouble too.
Andromeda_Z
Posts: 4,151
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5/25/2011 7:20:16 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/25/2011 3:08:06 PM, SuzzaneO wrote:
Should you stay together for the sake of your child? Research shows that children from split families suffer from more social disorders and development issues than children from families with mom and dad in tact.

I think it depends on what the marriage is like. If the parents want to get a divorce over something that doesn't have many negative effects on the children, then I'd say they should consider whether or not staying together would be a better choice. If one of the parents is abusive, then the divorce is probably going to be less of a problem for the children than staying in that situation would.
jat93
Posts: 1,440
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5/27/2011 2:05:55 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
Should you stay together for the sake of your child? Research shows that children from split families suffer from more social disorders and development issues than children from families with mom and dad in tact.

Depends on the conditions of life after the divorce. If the family is a) financially well off and b) the relationship between the two parents will be more calm and subdued and "stable" after the divorce... Then divorce all the way.

If, however, the physical conditions of life would be significantly downgraded (i.e. worse houses) and the parents will still be at each others throats and talking trash about each other to the child, "staying together for the kids" might very well be worth it.

P.S. My parents are divorced and the worst thing about it is the custody arrangements - I have to switch off houses every week. F*ck that sh*t, packing up and moving each week is unstable and annoying as hell. Divorce really screwed me over, actually.
Ragnar_Rahl
Posts: 19,297
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5/27/2011 2:10:04 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
Presumably, if it didn't why would the child have married you in the first place?
It came to be at its height. It was commanded to command. It was a capital before its first stone was laid. It was a monument to the spirit of man.
feverish
Posts: 2,716
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5/27/2011 4:13:26 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
Divorce doesn't necessarily hurt children but of couse it can. I believe that what's most important for the kids is the relationship they have with their parents, less important is the relationship the parents have with each other.

If an individual is parenting in a way that is destructive rather than nurturing, then the children may often be better off with the parent out of their lives, but if a child has a positive relationship with both parents then there's no reason they should suffer unduly from divorce or seperation.

My parents divorced when I was just a few months old and I've had extremely minimal contact with my dad my whole life. I don't believe it's had that much effect on me as I didn't really form a relationship with him in the first place. Probably worse for my brother who was 4 and my half brother (not my dad's son but raised by him for several years) who was 8, as they lost what must have been some kind of role model for them. I suppose I do harbour a fair amount of resentment though.

I'm not divorced as I never married but I seperated from my daughter's mum when she was three. However unlike my own dad, I am very much involved in my child's life. I live five minutes walk away, look after her several times a week, feed and clothe her, stay over at her house with her when her mum's not there etc. It must have been hard for her when we first broke up, but she is secure in the knowledge that we both love her and will be there for her and me and her mum make a real effort to be civil and supportive to each other.
brian_eggleston
Posts: 3,347
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5/27/2011 6:28:08 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/25/2011 5:43:47 PM, jharry wrote:
At 5/25/2011 5:14:58 PM, OreEle wrote:
At 5/25/2011 3:08:06 PM, SuzzaneO wrote:
Should you stay together for the sake of your child? Research shows that children from split families suffer from more social disorders and development issues than children from families with mom and dad in tact.

A family that is naturally intact =/= a family that is about to divorce but staying together for the sake of the kids.


I have, several times. And I thank the Lord that I did. My wife almost divorced me, actually five times. Why? Because I was a piece of sh1t. We fought constantly. I stayed gone all the time partying. I did every thing wrong or didn't even try. So many times I said to myself "screw it, let her divorce me. I'm done trying to be something I'm not". But then I would see my children. And I couldn't do it. I would promise her I would change even though I knew I was lying. If I would have given in to my childish selfishness I could have hurt my children dearly. All the "pain" I thought I was going through staying was more then worth it, ten times more.

Good for you.

And good for your kids too.
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