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Ladies: here are Rhe Rules

brian_eggleston
Posts: 3,347
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7/22/2011 8:15:47 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
WE ALWAYS HEAR " THE RULES" FROM THE FEMALE SIDE

NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE.

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE.. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.
(FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT.
YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN.
WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN.
YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. SUNDAY SPORTS, IT'S LIKE THE FULL MOON
OR THE CHANGING OF THE TIDES.
LET IT BE.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT.
LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:
SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM only IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO.
SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT.
IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS..

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'R E FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE.
DON'T ASK US..

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE.
NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT , JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS..

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE.

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLOURS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS.
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOUR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF IT ITCHES, IT WILL BE SCRATCHED. WE DO THAT.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY "NOTHING," WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG.
WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE..

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR.

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE... REALLY .

1. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR CRICKET.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING.
Visit the burglars' bulletin board: http://www.break-in-news.com...
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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7/22/2011 10:07:28 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
DON'T SPOIL THE COUCH!!! If they know we don't mind, they'll make us move to the kitchen floor!
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
freedomsquared
Posts: 450
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7/22/2011 10:59:57 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
That was pretty fantastic. I really enjoyed rule number 1, but then there could be improvements on rule number one.
But it's Norway, sort of the Canada of Europe."
-innomen

http://www.debate.org...
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SuperRobotWars
Posts: 3,906
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7/22/2011 11:12:42 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 7/22/2011 10:05:20 AM, Ore_Ele wrote:
I agree with number 1.
Minister Of Trolling
: At 12/6/2011 2:21:41 PM, badger wrote:
: ugly people should beat beautiful people ugly. simple! you'd be killing two birds with the one stone... women like violent men and you're making yourself more attractive, relatively. i met a blonde dude who was prettier than me not so long ago. he's not so pretty now! ha!
:
: ...and well, he wasn't really prettier than me. he just had nice hair.
SuperRobotWars
Posts: 3,906
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7/22/2011 11:16:51 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
I know the perfect place to spam with this.
Minister Of Trolling
: At 12/6/2011 2:21:41 PM, badger wrote:
: ugly people should beat beautiful people ugly. simple! you'd be killing two birds with the one stone... women like violent men and you're making yourself more attractive, relatively. i met a blonde dude who was prettier than me not so long ago. he's not so pretty now! ha!
:
: ...and well, he wasn't really prettier than me. he just had nice hair.
tudaloo
Posts: 93
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7/22/2011 5:06:56 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 7/22/2011 8:15:47 AM, brian_eggleston wrote:
WE ALWAYS HEAR " THE RULES" FROM THE FEMALE SIDE

NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE.

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE.. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.
(FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT.
YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN.
WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN.
YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. SUNDAY SPORTS, IT'S LIKE THE FULL MOON
OR THE CHANGING OF THE TIDES.
LET IT BE.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT.
LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:
SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM only IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO.
SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT.
IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS..

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'R E FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE.
DON'T ASK US..

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE.
NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT , JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS..

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE.

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLOURS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS.
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOUR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF IT ITCHES, IT WILL BE SCRATCHED. WE DO THAT.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY "NOTHING," WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG.
WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE..

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR.

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE... REALLY .

1. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR CRICKET.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING.

You forgot that a man and his sandwich is a bond that no women will understand.
SuperRobotWars
Posts: 3,906
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7/22/2011 5:14:19 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 7/22/2011 12:01:20 PM, Rockylightning wrote:
At 7/22/2011 11:16:51 AM, SuperRobotWars wrote:
I know the perfect place to spam with this.

Where.

Those all women's forums where they complain about male behavior, I am going to also send this to an list of my older stepsisters online contacts. Someone should also spam this on all female facebook accounts.
Minister Of Trolling
: At 12/6/2011 2:21:41 PM, badger wrote:
: ugly people should beat beautiful people ugly. simple! you'd be killing two birds with the one stone... women like violent men and you're making yourself more attractive, relatively. i met a blonde dude who was prettier than me not so long ago. he's not so pretty now! ha!
:
: ...and well, he wasn't really prettier than me. he just had nice hair.
mattrodstrom
Posts: 12,028
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7/23/2011 12:19:45 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
I think I liked #1 the best
"He who does not know how to put his will into things at least puts a meaning into them: that is, he believes there is a will in them already."

Metaphysics:
"The science.. which deals with the fundamental errors of mankind - but as if they were the fundamental truths."
tornshoe92
Posts: 361
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7/23/2011 12:56:30 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
One of the worst to me: The inability to figure things out on your own is nether cute nor funny. Read a book.
"Next time I see a little old lady going to church I am going kick her in the ovaries because she is personally responsible for this. Thanks Izbo." -C_N
Rockylightning
Posts: 2,862
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7/23/2011 1:04:30 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 7/23/2011 12:56:30 AM, tornshoe92 wrote:
One of the worst to me: The inability to figure things out on your own is nether cute nor funny. Read a book.

THIS
tornshoe92
Posts: 361
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7/23/2011 1:17:28 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 7/23/2011 1:04:30 AM, Rockylightning wrote:
At 7/23/2011 12:56:30 AM, tornshoe92 wrote:
One of the worst to me: The inability to figure things out on your own is nether cute nor funny. Read a book.

THIS

Every time my mother needs to reconnect to our wireless router, someone has to do it for her. It's not that she can't remember the password, she just can't find the "Place where you type the internet stuff in".
"Next time I see a little old lady going to church I am going kick her in the ovaries because she is personally responsible for this. Thanks Izbo." -C_N
Rockylightning
Posts: 2,862
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7/23/2011 1:24:58 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 7/23/2011 1:17:28 AM, tornshoe92 wrote:
At 7/23/2011 1:04:30 AM, Rockylightning wrote:
At 7/23/2011 12:56:30 AM, tornshoe92 wrote:
One of the worst to me: The inability to figure things out on your own is nether cute nor funny. Read a book.

THIS

Every time my mother needs to reconnect to our wireless router, someone has to do it for her. It's not that she can't remember the password, she just can't find the "Place where you type the internet stuff in".

"Can you build a bench for me?"
"Well, sure"
"Could you build the bench like this architect's special design"
"That looks really hard. Could you help?"
"No you can do it *leaves"
tornshoe92
Posts: 361
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7/23/2011 1:29:48 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 7/23/2011 1:24:58 AM, Rockylightning wrote:
At 7/23/2011 1:17:28 AM, tornshoe92 wrote:
At 7/23/2011 1:04:30 AM, Rockylightning wrote:
At 7/23/2011 12:56:30 AM, tornshoe92 wrote:
One of the worst to me: The inability to figure things out on your own is nether cute nor funny. Read a book.

THIS

Every time my mother needs to reconnect to our wireless router, someone has to do it for her. It's not that she can't remember the password, she just can't find the "Place where you type the internet stuff in".

"Can you build a bench for me?"
"Well, sure"
"Could you build the bench like this architect's special design"
"That looks really hard. Could you help?"
"No you can do it *leaves"

Riiiiiight? I don't have magic powers. Unless it involves heavy lifting or specialized training, you should be completely capable of doing everything I can.
"Next time I see a little old lady going to church I am going kick her in the ovaries because she is personally responsible for this. Thanks Izbo." -C_N
Mestari
Posts: 4,656
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7/23/2011 3:26:09 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 7/22/2011 8:15:47 AM, brian_eggleston wrote:
1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT.
IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS..

YES!
Rules of Mafia

1. Mestari is never third party.
2. If Mestari claims an intricate and page long TP role, he's telling the truth.
3. Mestari always jointly wins with the town.
3b. If he doesn't he's mafia.
3c. If he was mafia you wouldn't suspect him in the first place.
4. If you lynch Mestari you will lose because he will be the third party Doctor or some other townie power role.
5. DP1 lynches are good.
6. The answer is always no.
nonentity
Posts: 5,008
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7/24/2011 1:14:40 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
First of all, a girl can never have too many shoes/clothes.

I'm guilty of a lot these haha but there are reasons for our behaviour.
freedomsquared
Posts: 450
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7/24/2011 5:43:16 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 7/24/2011 1:14:40 PM, nonentity wrote:
First of all, a girl can never have too many shoes/clothes.

I'm guilty of a lot these haha but there are reasons for our behaviour.

Everyone has a rationale, us (men) just have no way of understanding yours (women).
But it's Norway, sort of the Canada of Europe."
-innomen

http://www.debate.org...
-humorous debate with brian_eggleston

http://www.debate.org...
-tournament debate, need votes