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"Don't 'shhh" me"

brian_eggleston
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11/23/2011 3:23:28 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
When your girlfriend / wife and you are down the pub and, after a couple of drinks, she gets argumentative and raises her voice, embarrassing both herself and you, the natural reaction (at least for me) is to say "shhh!".

This seems to wind women right up and they raise their voices even more and say "Don't you 'shhh' me."

Have you ever encountered this problem and, if so, have you found an effective way to deal with it?

(Posted in haste from down the pub while the missus has gone to the restroom so please post your advice quickly).
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Man-is-good
Posts: 6,871
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11/23/2011 3:28:00 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
I have never actually encountered such an experience but I suppose reminding the "missus" of the people around her staring at you two could work........???
"Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto." --Terence

"I believe that the mind can be permanently profaned by the habit of attending to trivial things, so that all our thoughts shall be tinged with triviality."--Thoreau
brian_eggleston
Posts: 3,347
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11/23/2011 3:45:46 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/23/2011 3:28:00 PM, Man-is-good wrote:
I have never actually encountered such an experience but I suppose reminding the "missus" of the people around her staring at you two could work........???

Thanks, but she's drunk and doesn't care...
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Man-is-good
Posts: 6,871
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11/23/2011 3:48:00 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/23/2011 3:45:46 PM, brian_eggleston wrote:
At 11/23/2011 3:28:00 PM, Man-is-good wrote:
I have never actually encountered such an experience but I suppose reminding the "missus" of the people around her staring at you two could work........???

Thanks, but she's drunk and doesn't care...

Oh then in that case, I'll have to think of something different..............
"Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto." --Terence

"I believe that the mind can be permanently profaned by the habit of attending to trivial things, so that all our thoughts shall be tinged with triviality."--Thoreau
Man-is-good
Posts: 6,871
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11/23/2011 3:50:36 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/23/2011 3:48:00 PM, Man-is-good wrote:
At 11/23/2011 3:45:46 PM, brian_eggleston wrote:
At 11/23/2011 3:28:00 PM, Man-is-good wrote:
I have never actually encountered such an experience but I suppose reminding the "missus" of the people around her staring at you two could work........???

Thanks, but she's drunk and doesn't care...

Oh then in that case, I'll have to think of something different..............

Take her home or outside of the pub???
"Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto." --Terence

"I believe that the mind can be permanently profaned by the habit of attending to trivial things, so that all our thoughts shall be tinged with triviality."--Thoreau
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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11/23/2011 3:56:20 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/23/2011 3:23:28 PM, brian_eggleston wrote:
When your girlfriend / wife and you are down the pub and, after a couple of drinks, she gets argumentative and raises her voice, embarrassing both herself and you, the natural reaction (at least for me) is to say "shhh!".

This seems to wind women right up and they raise their voices even more and say "Don't you 'shhh' me."

Have you ever encountered this problem and, if so, have you found an effective way to deal with it?

(Posted in haste from down the pub while the missus has gone to the restroom so please post your advice quickly).

Smashing a beer bottle over her head will shut her up. Though it may cause more problems down the road.

I try to say "hey hey hey" (not like Fat Albert, though they might make her stop and think "WTF?!") and talk in a quiet voice myself.

Another option is to say you gotta piss, and hope that she calms down while you take a piss and can talk quietly.
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
Chrysippus
Posts: 2,173
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11/23/2011 4:41:36 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
The most effective methods of dealing with this problem, in descending order of effectiveness:

1. 45 cal. to the head.
Messy, but effective. Makes everyone else in the pub go quiet, too.

2. Vulcan Neck pinch.
Can be actually performed on humans, by humans. Takes practice. Don't hold for more than 30 seconds or so; too long, and brain damage ensues.

How to tell if you've held too long: You may notice a difference in personality/intelligence, depending on who you married. Otherwise, no difference.

3. Old socks in the mouth, duct-tape over.
Slow, and runs the risk of biting. Don't try this if you are worried that she will take revenge later on.

4. Defenestration.
Removes the source of noise quickly.
You run the risk that she will return to the pub louder than before. Also make certain to open the window first. Second story pubs = messy.

5. Cloth bag over head.
Quick, but not very effective, and looks suspicious.

6. Bribery.
Won't work if she is too drunk.

7. Elvis impersonation .
More of a masking technique. Won't shut her up, but will make it so that her noise won't matter; no-one will be paying attention to her, anyway.

8. Asking nicely/being reasonable
Doesn't work.

9. Leaving.
You quitter.
Cavete mea inexorabilis legiones mimus!
tvellalott
Posts: 10,864
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11/23/2011 4:45:46 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/23/2011 4:41:36 PM, Chrysippus wrote:
The most effective methods of dealing with this problem, in descending order of effectiveness:

1. 45 cal. to the head.
Messy, but effective. Makes everyone else in the pub go quiet, too.

2. Vulcan Neck pinch.
Can be actually performed on humans, by humans. Takes practice. Don't hold for more than 30 seconds or so; too long, and brain damage ensues.

How to tell if you've held too long: You may notice a difference in personality/intelligence, depending on who you married. Otherwise, no difference.

3. Old socks in the mouth, duct-tape over.
Slow, and runs the risk of biting. Don't try this if you are worried that she will take revenge later on.

4. Defenestration.
Removes the source of noise quickly.
You run the risk that she will return to the pub louder than before. Also make certain to open the window first. Second story pubs = messy.

5. Cloth bag over head.
Quick, but not very effective, and looks suspicious.

6. Bribery.
Won't work if she is too drunk.

7. Elvis impersonation .
More of a masking technique. Won't shut her up, but will make it so that her noise won't matter; no-one will be paying attention to her, anyway.

8. Asking nicely/being reasonable
Doesn't work.

9. Leaving.
You quitter.

ROFL!!! Defenestration; I so rarely see that word used. You win sir.
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PARADIGM_L0ST
Posts: 6,958
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11/23/2011 5:27:36 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/23/2011 3:23:28 PM, brian_eggleston wrote:
When your girlfriend / wife and you are down the pub and, after a couple of drinks, she gets argumentative and raises her voice, embarrassing both herself and you, the natural reaction (at least for me) is to say "shhh!".

This seems to wind women right up and they raise their voices even more and say "Don't you 'shhh' me."

Have you ever encountered this problem and, if so, have you found an effective way to deal with it?:

The most effective way is to get out of that relationship. The next best thing is to completely disarm her by apologizing... whether you have anything to apologize for or not. She's venting her animosities at you... essentially she's trying to pick a fight, so don't give her the ability.

Then when you get home, choke slam the sh*t out of her and calmly say, "If you EVER embarass me like that again, I'll f*cking gut you!" You'll be surprised how silent she is after that. :)

Okay, okay... disregard the last two sentences.
"Have you ever considered suicide? If not, please do." -- Mouthwash (to Inferno)
rogue
Posts: 2,325
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11/23/2011 5:59:23 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/23/2011 3:23:28 PM, brian_eggleston wrote:
When your girlfriend / wife and you are down the pub and, after a couple of drinks, she gets argumentative and raises her voice, embarrassing both herself and you, the natural reaction (at least for me) is to say "shhh!".

This seems to wind women right up and they raise their voices even more and say "Don't you 'shhh' me."

Have you ever encountered this problem and, if so, have you found an effective way to deal with it?

(Posted in haste from down the pub while the missus has gone to the restroom so please post your advice quickly).

just don't shh. say "honey, you are being really loud, people are staring." she'll probably get self conscious and stop.
bluesteel
Posts: 12,301
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11/23/2011 6:07:31 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Stop caring what other people think...
You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into - Jonathan Swift (paraphrase)
sadolite
Posts: 8,834
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11/23/2011 9:52:40 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/23/2011 3:23:28 PM, brian_eggleston wrote:
When your girlfriend / wife and you are down the pub and, after a couple of drinks, she gets argumentative and raises her voice, embarrassing both herself and you, the natural reaction (at least for me) is to say "shhh!".

This seems to wind women right up and they raise their voices even more and say "Don't you 'shhh' me."

Have you ever encountered this problem and, if so, have you found an effective way to deal with it?

(Posted in haste from down the pub while the missus has gone to the restroom so please post your advice quickly).

She's not the girl for you if your embarrassed by her drunk or sober. She's loud that is who she is. If it embarrasses you get a new girl friend or wife. Don't try to change people, we all know how well that works.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

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Chrysippus
Posts: 2,173
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12/1/2011 9:31:12 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
By your long silence, I take it you took one or more of our suggestions. Here at Snarky Solutions Inc. we take pride in the effectiveness of our methods of spreading silence, carnage, and amateur Elvis impersonations worldwide.

We'd like to know how you enjoyed your Snarky Solutions Inc. product. Please take a moment to fill out the following form, so that we may "serve" you better in future:

1. How did you learn about Snarky Solutions products? (CIRCLE ONE):
a) Cellmate
b) Gift from mother-in-law
c) Found one in the gutter
d) Mental transmissions from aliens held captive in secret underground bases.

2. On a scale from 1 -5, how satisfied with the performance of your Snarky Solutions product are you?
1) Very satisfied. 2) Ultra-satisfied. 3) Really, really satisfied. 4) Quite pleased. 5) Named my first-born child after it, I'm so satisfied.

3. Would you use this product again? (CIRCLE ONE: YES / YES )

4. Which Snarky Solutions products are you most familiar with? (INDICATE MORE THAN ONE. IF YOU ARE UNFAMILIAR WITH THESE PRODUCTS, THEN BUY THEM ALREADY. YOU CAD.)
a) Our patent-pending noise-suppressant burlap sack
b) Euphoria-enducing smokebombs
c) Inflatable bar bouncer, for scaring off bores.
d) Taser disguised as a beer stein.
e) Fake flowers with real allergens

5. In order that we may stalk- I mean, SERVE you better, please fill the following blank area with your full name, address, personal identification number, credit-card number (and 3 digit security code), number and names of your children. Please print this form out and attach a full colour photo of our house, with your bedroom window circled. Then, simply slip it into a stamped envelope and mail it to us at |ADDRESS REDACTED BY MODERATOR|.
Cavete mea inexorabilis legiones mimus!
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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12/4/2011 8:16:33 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/23/2011 3:23:28 PM, brian_eggleston wrote:
When your girlfriend / wife and you are down the pub and, after a couple of drinks, she gets argumentative and raises her voice, embarrassing both herself and you, the natural reaction (at least for me) is to say "shhh!".

This seems to wind women right up and they raise their voices even more and say "Don't you 'shhh' me."

Have you ever encountered this problem and, if so, have you found an effective way to deal with it?

(Posted in haste from down the pub while the missus has gone to the restroom so please post your advice quickly).

shhhh!
This is a stupid thread, hun.
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
Ren
Posts: 7,102
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12/6/2011 9:37:17 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
I'm sorry I didn't get to you sooner.

The best way to deal with a woman behaving like that, in my experience, is to simply walk away.

Your description made it seem as though you were in a bar that had tables, and you and your girl were sitting at one of them. That leaves you in a pretty good position. In this case, you would simply fall very quiet and calm, then look her dead in her eyes and tell her, whether or not she's making noise at the time, that you're walking away now and that she can come and find you when she's calmed down and ready to act like an adult.

Then, if you didn't necessarily want to leave the pub yet, you should have excused yourself to the bar and had some drinks to make sure you maintain and don't get excited if she does anything stupid.

Very often, most girls will collect themselves and approach you, then try to turn it on you and give you the silent treatment thereafter. She's drunk, though, so you should just try to make her laugh and veer it toward the anger sex.

Sometimes, you'll get girls who are just turned on from that.

Occasionally, though, you'll get the sort of dumbass broad that will make an even bigger scene, getting up and making speeches to the entire bar or trying to get into fisticuffs.

Those girls, you must leave, dude. And, I promise you, not because of that, but because you will then know that she will bring you nothing but grief. Promise.
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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12/6/2011 11:22:12 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Look, I know exactly how you can deal with her.

Just buy my book, called "Dealing With Women, Vol. I"- used copies available for just $0.01 on Amazon!
I go over how to deal with a belligerent Drunk Woman in Chapter 3. In the introduction, I briefly go over my hypothesis that all women are exactly the same and, as such, can all be dealt with in the same way. I also explain, in detail, the one way in which the curious creature called "Drunk Woman" must be approached in it's natural habitat- a bar. The research behind my work is funded by the National Organization for Laypersons, The American Society of Gender Stereotype Proclamations, and the highly esteemed Save the Drunk Women Foundation.

Or, if you find "critical thinking" more apt for the situation, you could take the flippant advice of my critics (psychologists, psychiatrists, and other so-called "scientists") by assessing the personality characteristics of the individual, the context of the particular situation, the specific way alcohol effects that individual, the state of the relationship, as well as other frivolous and confusing factors like- how you feel about the person, how the person feels about you, and where you want the night to go from there. But, truly, only a dolt would complicate a matter such as this with context-specific problem solving skills when it is obvious that a Drunk Woman is easily dealt with in one simple way.

Buy my book and find out how.
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
TheAtheistAllegiance
Posts: 1,251
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12/10/2011 10:27:52 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 12/6/2011 11:22:12 AM, Oryus wrote:
Look, I know exactly how you can deal with her.

Just buy my book, called "Dealing With Women, Vol. I"- used copies available for just $0.01 on Amazon!
I go over how to deal with a belligerent Drunk Woman in Chapter 3. In the introduction, I briefly go over my hypothesis that all women are exactly the same and, as such, can all be dealt with in the same way. I also explain, in detail, the one way in which the curious creature called "Drunk Woman" must be approached in it's natural habitat- a bar. The research behind my work is funded by the National Organization for Laypersons, The American Society of Gender Stereotype Proclamations, and the highly esteemed Save the Drunk Women Foundation.

Or, if you find "critical thinking" more apt for the situation, you could take the flippant advice of my critics (psychologists, psychiatrists, and other so-called "scientists") by assessing the personality characteristics of the individual, the context of the particular situation, the specific way alcohol effects that individual, the state of the relationship, as well as other frivolous and confusing factors like- how you feel about the person, how the person feels about you, and where you want the night to go from there. But, truly, only a dolt would complicate a matter such as this with context-specific problem solving skills when it is obvious that a Drunk Woman is easily dealt with in one simple way.

Buy my book and find out how.

Did you seriously get offended by this thread simply because he used a gender classification..? I hope to God not.
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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12/10/2011 10:32:04 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 12/10/2011 10:27:52 PM, TheAtheistAllegiance wrote:
Did you seriously get offended by this thread simply because he used a gender classification..? I hope to God not.

I don't think she mentioned gender classifications. Perhaps she was just poking fun at how there is no right answer. There are good and bad ways at dealing with different kinds of people in different situations.
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Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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12/10/2011 10:36:45 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Buuut that said, I still think the answer is pretty obvious. If you shh someone it seems you are belittling their complaint or feelings, caring more instead about public perception than their individual grievance. A partner might presume you should care more about their feelings than the assumptions or comments of a few strangers. The way I've dealt with this is to say, "I'm not trying to shush you - I just can't really hear you in here and it's not the right place to have this discussion. I'd prefer to talk about this later so I can give you my full attention." It may or may not be true lol but I'm a master bullsh!t artist :)
President of DDO
Ren
Posts: 7,102
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12/10/2011 11:38:46 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I don't think he was asking for a foolproof way to control women when they drink too much. At least, I framed my response under the assumption that he wanted guidance regarding how to carry himself.

In any case, you can narrow down what most people of any gender will do to a few possibilities under normative circumstances.
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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12/11/2011 9:56:25 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 12/10/2011 10:32:04 PM, Danielle wrote:
At 12/10/2011 10:27:52 PM, TheAtheistAllegiance wrote:
Did you seriously get offended by this thread simply because he used a gender classification..? I hope to God not.

I don't think she mentioned gender classifications. Perhaps she was just poking fun at how there is no right answer. There are good and bad ways at dealing with different kinds of people in different situations.

This^

The fact that the question was asked at all made me laugh. The prospects of him getting any type of successful advice from people who don't know the woman or the context are doubtful. It made me laugh. So I made a joke of it to suss it out.

Although, I don't see why it wouldn't be o.k. to get offended by an offensive gender classification??
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.