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I used this line in a rap.

iamadragon
Posts: 157
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6/18/2009 10:13:09 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
"my rhymes keep heads spinning like a tautology
i'll refute that like i'm reading Kant's philosophy"

Haha, your thoughts? I tend to make overly obscure and complicated rhymes.
BigMac
Posts: 1,155
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6/18/2009 10:17:12 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
uh. where do you go to school?! cuz i go to suncoast high and it (wuz) the #3 HS last yr... that sounds like a rap battle rhyme from our school. (((our school is in the middle of gangland, yet nerds are everywhere XD)))
I'm back.
BigMac
Posts: 1,155
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6/18/2009 11:12:26 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
ya i kinda figured that out when you dont kno me, animefantony, usafkid, queso, or any of the others on this site.
I'm back.
GeoLaureate8
Posts: 12,252
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6/18/2009 11:28:25 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
If you want to see some complex rhyming, check my Rap Battle debate:

http://www.debate.org...

.
"We must raise the standard of the Old, free, decentralized, and strictly limited Republic."
-- Murray Rothbard

"The worst thing that can happen to a good cause is, not to be skillfully attacked, but to be ineptly defended."
-- Frederic Bastiat
iamadragon
Posts: 157
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6/19/2009 12:38:08 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
Whoa, I wanted a rap battle, but the person who accepted it forfeited.

I'm reading it now–pretty sick. I've been struggling with my style. I like to rap using more complex topics, sort of like you did, referencing tons of science and things like that. Often I get a bit obscure, though. I'm trying to find a good balance, hopefully something along the lines of what you have.
feverish
Posts: 2,716
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6/20/2009 7:55:39 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
Rhyme more. (No diss)

Rap is a medium of poetry that is intended to be heard rather than read, yet many MCs concentrate only on the meaning and tend to overlook the importance of how the words sound.

It is cool to have a wide vocabulary and use complex concepts in your rhymes but to make them more effective for performance I recommend concentrating on making the internal rhyme structures more complex too.

Although most listeners will not be focusing on the actual rhymes (rather than words) themselves it will still make more sense, back up the rhythm of your flow more and generally sound more pleasing to the ear if your words rhyme more.

For example: Philosophy is a decent enough rhyme for tautology but there are hundreds of other -ology type words that are a stronger rhyme: authority, autonomy, pornography etc. These are all stronger rhymes with tautology because they rhyme the first syllable as well as the others.

Also rhyme other words within each line. For example if instead of: "my rhymes keep heads spinning like a tautology" you had: "what I said kept your head spinning like a tautology" this would have the same meaning but be a stronger rhyme.

Some good examples of complex rhyme structure:
"Trippin' off the beat, kinda drippin' off the meatgrinder" MF Doom (Madvillain album).

"The other night around 8 P.M, pockets crazy slim, jumped out the gray BM,
went to the ATM" Big L (Holdin' It Down).

"I murder a rhyme one word at a time, you never heard of a mind as perverted as mine" Eminem.

"It's the original, subliminal syllable criminal flippin' a critical verse" Me (12 years ago).

Lyrical content, metaphors, story-telling, these are all essential parts of an MCs art but the auditory elements like breath-control, delivery and use of poetic techniques like rhyme and alliteration are important too.

You may or may not be aware of the underlying alliteration in your two bars: rhymes, refute, reading, it may have been coincidence or maybe the lyrics just sounded better to you like that and you didn't question why.

Good luck and keep doing what your doing.
Peace.

lol Eminem comes up as ammonium on spellcheck.
AnimeFanTony
Posts: 1,129
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6/22/2009 6:47:40 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
Iamadragon and Geo should do a rap/poetry battle. It would be great.
Ownership of this account has been transferred from JCMT to I-am-a-panda.
Updates of the next JCMT puppet account pending.
lil_Oreo
Posts: 61
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6/23/2009 6:50:23 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 6/22/2009 6:47:40 PM, AnimeFanTony wrote:
Iamadragon and Geo should do a rap/poetry battle. It would be great.

yea. lets not forget what happened during your last rap battle Tony.... (^_-)
When the Power of Love overcomes the Love of Power, the world will know Peace.
LeafRod
Posts: 1,548
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12/23/2009 10:27:31 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 6/20/2009 8:22:49 AM, iamadragon wrote:
Thanks. I have a few verses with internal rhyming, and it sounds pretty cool.

Learn some respect.