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Musings of a Physics Teacher

DetectableNinja
Posts: 6,071
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3/14/2012 9:37:57 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
My physics teacher is probably one of the most hilarious teachers I've had. Imagine a man with a Ben Stein-esque voice with a really childish attitude who looks to be about 50, and you have a pretty close vision of my physics teacher. What's especially great about him are the many off-color quips and quotes one can get from him. Here are a few choice selections:

"I know nothing about biology. All I know is that I have four children and I'm confused."

Student: "Why is [the PowerPoint] so light?
Teacher: It isn't light, you're having a stroke."

"Think about it: when you're downtown, all those buildings could hit you."

"If you can't pick up women, pick up sparrows."

"I'm sick of figuring out people's cheap-@ss calculators."

"What I'm saying is that you should trade your calculator for a puppy and then shoot the puppy."

"Remember that UN is just another word for 'un.' Unmeetings, untreaties, the list goes on."

"That's the first [date] that I wrote wrong? I have to tell my psychiatrist that."

"Revenge is sustenance."

"You yankin' my chain, sir?"

"When I was in the Air Force being trained to kill people..."

"As you know, I am not politically correct. But I'm an exception because I was born a poor black Indian child." (He's none of these).

"And that's why, when people talk about a global warming computer model, they're full of sh1t."
It's not about reciprocation, it's just all about me,
a sycophantic, prophetic, Socratic junkie wannabe.

- The 1975, "The Sound"
phantom
Posts: 6,774
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3/14/2012 9:50:13 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
They make the perfect teachers
"Music is a zen-like ecstatic state where you become the new man of the future, the Nietzschean merger of Apollo and Dionysus." Ray Manzarek (The Doors)
FREEDO
Posts: 21,874
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3/15/2012 4:42:38 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
This is satisfying. Do continue.
THE CHOSEN ONE
THE GRAND POOBAH OF DDO
THE BOOGIE MAN
THE REAL LIFE SANTA CLAUSE
THE PARADOXICAL ZEBRA PRANCING THROUGH THE GRASSY PLANES YOUR COGNITIVE EXPERIENCE
THE REINCARNATION OF THE DEAD DREAMS OF HUMANITY
THE DISH WHO RAN AWAY WITH THE SPOON
Your friend.
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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3/15/2012 6:44:30 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
Your physics teacher sounds like a badass.
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
Ragnar_Rahl
Posts: 19,305
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3/15/2012 7:02:45 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 3/14/2012 9:37:57 PM, DetectableNinja wrote:
"Remember that UN is just another word for 'un.' Unmeetings, untreaties, the list goes on."
It came to be at its height. It was commanded to command. It was a capital before its first stone was laid. It was a monument to the spirit of man.