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Finding A Million Dollars

Laffytaffy
Posts: 16
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7/2/2012 6:43:04 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Im just curious as to what you would do if you found a large sum of money in a black bag on the street. This money could have been stolen, or been collected by selling drugs, or through some mafia organization.

I probably would take up to 10%-15% of the money, then return the rest to the cops. Or, if I'm feeling quite mischievous, keep all of it and slowly add it to a bank account over time. Slow enough that no one questions the money being put in.

What would you do?
OMGJustinBieber
Posts: 3,484
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7/2/2012 7:11:06 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I wouldn't hand it over to the cops, but it obviously depends where. Is it a crowded street? If it's totally abandoned I can afford to be a little more greedy, but either way I couldn't walk away.
MouthWash
Posts: 2,607
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7/2/2012 7:20:11 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
1. Make sure they're not counterfeit.

2. Buy stuff.

Seriously, how hard is this?
"Well, that gives whole new meaning to my assassination. If I was going to die anyway, perhaps I should leave the Bolsheviks' descendants some Christmas cookies instead of breaking their dishes and vodka bottles in their sleep." -Tsar Nicholas II (YYW)
Laffytaffy
Posts: 16
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7/2/2012 7:22:11 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/2/2012 7:11:06 PM, OMGJustinBieber wrote:
I wouldn't hand it over to the cops, but it obviously depends where. Is it a crowded street? If it's totally abandoned I can afford to be a little more greedy, but either way I couldn't walk away.

It doesn't matter where you found it. You safely got it to your house and your deciding on returning it or keeping it. Remember though, the cops can potentially be searching for the money as well.
Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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7/2/2012 7:24:11 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/2/2012 7:20:11 PM, MouthWash wrote:
1. Make sure they're not counterfeit.

2. Buy stuff.

Seriously, how hard is this?

You should have given it to Jesus. Shame on you.
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Laffytaffy
Posts: 16
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7/2/2012 7:25:18 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/2/2012 7:20:11 PM, MouthWash wrote:
1. Make sure they're not counterfeit.

2. Buy stuff.

Seriously, how hard is this?

Aren't you worried though. All that spending and people would start wondering where you got all the money from.
MouthWash
Posts: 2,607
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7/2/2012 7:35:26 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/2/2012 7:25:18 PM, Laffytaffy wrote:
At 7/2/2012 7:20:11 PM, MouthWash wrote:
1. Make sure they're not counterfeit.

2. Buy stuff.

Seriously, how hard is this?

Aren't you worried though. All that spending and people would start wondering where you got all the money from.

3. Move to another country; use money to set up a small fake lottery that you will then "win" and thereby have an excuse to stick some thousand dollar bills in stripper underwear.
"Well, that gives whole new meaning to my assassination. If I was going to die anyway, perhaps I should leave the Bolsheviks' descendants some Christmas cookies instead of breaking their dishes and vodka bottles in their sleep." -Tsar Nicholas II (YYW)
MouthWash
Posts: 2,607
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7/2/2012 7:36:07 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/2/2012 7:35:26 PM, MouthWash wrote:
At 7/2/2012 7:25:18 PM, Laffytaffy wrote:
At 7/2/2012 7:20:11 PM, MouthWash wrote:
1. Make sure they're not counterfeit.

2. Buy stuff.

Seriously, how hard is this?

Aren't you worried though. All that spending and people would start wondering where you got all the money from.

3. Move to another country; use money to set up a small fake lottery that you will then "win" and thereby have an excuse to stick some thousand dollar bills in stripper underwear.

Wait, that should go in between 1 and 2. Sorry.
"Well, that gives whole new meaning to my assassination. If I was going to die anyway, perhaps I should leave the Bolsheviks' descendants some Christmas cookies instead of breaking their dishes and vodka bottles in their sleep." -Tsar Nicholas II (YYW)
Laffytaffy
Posts: 16
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7/2/2012 7:40:09 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/2/2012 7:35:26 PM, MouthWash wrote:
At 7/2/2012 7:25:18 PM, Laffytaffy wrote:
At 7/2/2012 7:20:11 PM, MouthWash wrote:
1. Make sure they're not counterfeit.

2. Buy stuff.

Seriously, how hard is this?

Aren't you worried though. All that spending and people would start wondering where you got all the money from.

3. Move to another country; use money to set up a small fake lottery that you will then "win" and thereby have an excuse to stick some thousand dollar bills in stripper underwear.

Haha, nice answer. Sounds like a lot of work but I guess it would be worth it.
drafterman
Posts: 18,870
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7/2/2012 7:41:37 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Turn it in to the nearest police headquarters. No telling if someone is actively looking for it, if the bills are marked, tracked, counterfeit.
Laffytaffy
Posts: 16
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7/2/2012 7:45:41 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/2/2012 7:41:37 PM, drafterman wrote:
Turn it in to the nearest police headquarters. No telling if someone is actively looking for it, if the bills are marked, tracked, counterfeit.

So, you'll keep none for yourself? Your very good. At least you won't have a dirty conscience.
Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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7/2/2012 7:49:19 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/2/2012 7:35:26 PM, MouthWash wrote:
At 7/2/2012 7:25:18 PM, Laffytaffy wrote:
At 7/2/2012 7:20:11 PM, MouthWash wrote:
1. Make sure they're not counterfeit.

2. Buy stuff.

Seriously, how hard is this?

Aren't you worried though. All that spending and people would start wondering where you got all the money from.

3. Move to another country; use money to set up a small fake lottery that you will then "win" and thereby have an excuse to stick some thousand dollar bills in stripper underwear.

You have to declare money exceeding $10,000 when entering or leaving the country. I'm not sure whether $990,000 can fit in your anus or not. You might have to charter a private jet to get there, or sneak across a border.

Anyway you go about it, you would be paranoid about your money's safety.
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Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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7/2/2012 7:50:49 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/2/2012 7:41:37 PM, drafterman wrote:
Turn it in to the nearest police headquarters. No telling if someone is actively looking for it, if the bills are marked, tracked, counterfeit.

You might be able to trade the money fo some other medium of exchange, or perhaps buy a purchase in cash, then trade the purchase or purchases in at a later date to receive non-marked/non-tracked/non-counterfeit cash money.
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Laffytaffy
Posts: 16
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7/2/2012 7:52:37 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
If I was to turn the money into the police, would I get a reward or would they simply take it? Cause if I get a reward, I would just take that and call it a day.
000ike
Posts: 11,196
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7/2/2012 7:54:41 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Honestly,...I'd pretend I didn't see it and walk away. It would be a really bad idea to take what could be counterfeit money,...and risk being caught on camera,...and risk being tracked for taking it. It would also feel wrong
"A stupid despot may constrain his slaves with iron chains; but a true politician binds them even more strongly with the chain of their own ideas" - Michel Foucault
000ike
Posts: 11,196
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7/2/2012 7:56:26 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Also, sending it to the police would also be a bad idea. Who knows where the money came from, it could evolve into a whole criminal investigation, and you will be involved. They'll call you for questioning, call you to court, and waste a lot of your time.
"A stupid despot may constrain his slaves with iron chains; but a true politician binds them even more strongly with the chain of their own ideas" - Michel Foucault
Laffytaffy
Posts: 16
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7/2/2012 7:58:42 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/2/2012 7:56:26 PM, 000ike wrote:
Also, sending it to the police would also be a bad idea. Who knows where the money came from, it could evolve into a whole criminal investigation, and you will be involved. They'll call you for questioning, call you to court, and waste a lot of your time.

I was thinking the exact same thing. But you were a simple pedestrian that found it and turned it in. Can they do all that to you?
000ike
Posts: 11,196
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7/2/2012 8:01:02 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/2/2012 7:58:42 PM, Laffytaffy wrote:
At 7/2/2012 7:56:26 PM, 000ike wrote:
Also, sending it to the police would also be a bad idea. Who knows where the money came from, it could evolve into a whole criminal investigation, and you will be involved. They'll call you for questioning, call you to court, and waste a lot of your time.

I was thinking the exact same thing. But you were a simple pedestrian that found it and turned it in. Can they do all that to you?

I presume that they put everyone under suspicion (not necessary as a suspect) until the case is cleared. Even if they didn't suspect you, they would need you to testify where you found it, when you found it, who was with you, if you took anything etc.
"A stupid despot may constrain his slaves with iron chains; but a true politician binds them even more strongly with the chain of their own ideas" - Michel Foucault
thett3
Posts: 14,348
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7/2/2012 8:16:24 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I've seen No Country for Old Men. I'm not doing a damn thing to the money.
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: thett was right
Ren
Posts: 7,102
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7/2/2012 8:21:24 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/2/2012 6:43:04 PM, Laffytaffy wrote:
Im just curious as to what you would do if you found a large sum of money in a black bag on the street. This money could have been stolen, or been collected by selling drugs, or through some mafia organization.

I probably would take up to 10%-15% of the money, then return the rest to the cops. Or, if I'm feeling quite mischievous, keep all of it and slowly add it to a bank account over time. Slow enough that no one questions the money being put in.

What would you do?

"Just curious -- if you were suddenly given the opportunity to keep a large sum of money if you could figure out how to launder it, how would you launder it?"

Hehe.
OMGJustinBieber
Posts: 3,484
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7/2/2012 9:14:06 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/2/2012 8:16:24 PM, thett3 wrote:
I've seen No Country for Old Men. I'm not doing a damn thing to the money.

Ha, I was thinking the same thing. I'd have Anton Sigur coming after me, but I'd take it anyways - fate has called, I have no choice but to answer.
Lasagna
Posts: 2,440
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7/2/2012 9:16:48 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I think the best thing to do would be to turn it in. Whether I would or not is unclear; it would take an incredible amount of willpower to do so.

Keeping the million dollars would be a curse in its own right. That much money spoils a person's soul, whether it is earned legitimately or not.
Rob
FREEDO
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7/2/2012 9:44:38 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/2/2012 9:16:48 PM, Lasagna wrote:
I think the best thing to do would be to turn it in. Whether I would or not is unclear; it would take an incredible amount of willpower to do so.

Keeping the million dollars would be a curse in its own right. That much money spoils a person's soul, whether it is earned legitimately or not.

Lol, fuck that. My soul's long gone anyway.
GRAND POOBAH OF DDO

fnord
Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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7/2/2012 9:49:07 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/2/2012 9:16:48 PM, Lasagna wrote:
I think the best thing to do would be to turn it in. Whether I would or not is unclear; it would take an incredible amount of willpower to do so.

Keeping the million dollars would be a curse in its own right. That much money spoils a person's soul, whether it is earned legitimately or not.

That's the moral of the Pardoner's Tale from Chaucer's Canterbury Tales. You can read it here starting on line 670: http://academic.brooklyn.cuny.edu...
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BlackVoid
Posts: 9,170
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7/2/2012 11:24:37 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I'd definently take the money. It would solve most of my real-life worries instantly. After slowly putting the money in an account, I would buy a nice house and a nice car. After that, even when I run out of the money, I would have little financial problems for a long time with no house or car payment. That kind of opportunity is too good to pass up.
Tnkissfan
Posts: 199
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7/7/2012 3:00:39 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Hand over to police and if no one claimed it I would buy a place to live ( since I don't have one after my divorce) and then I would give the bulk of what's left to my family and 10% to various charities.
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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7/7/2012 3:33:25 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/2/2012 9:16:48 PM, Lasagna wrote:
I think the best thing to do would be to turn it in. Whether I would or not is unclear; it would take an incredible amount of willpower to do so.

Keeping the million dollars would be a curse in its own right. That much money spoils a person's soul, whether it is earned legitimately or not.

Well, if you ever need to clean your soul, just mail me all your money. I will gladly bare that burden for you.
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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7/7/2012 4:37:47 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Basically, keep working while slipping money into a different account, say $500 - $700 a week. Any questions come up, I'd just say that it is income from my wife's job. Also add a few hundred every here and there (odd jobs, craigslist sales, etc). Pay for everything with cash, and let your paychecks build up. In a few years, you'll have hundreds of thousands of dollars. Apply that to the stock market and after 5 years, you can live off the interest.

Another option would be to start a small business and claim that the money is from various investors. Then, as the business makes money, never pay back the imaginary investors, close your business, and then since the investors never come and collect, you keep the money.
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"