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What sort of man or woman are you?

brian_eggleston
Posts: 3,347
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9/10/2009 2:01:37 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
Take my sophisticated personality test to find out...

1 - What would best describe your ‘textbook' evening?

Men's Choices:

A - A few beers down the pub with your friends to watch the footy on Sky Sports then on to a gentlemen's club to admire the strippers with the night rounded off with an Indian or Chinese meal and a taxi home via the 24/7 store for a few cans of lager.

B – A quiet night at home enjoying a good book and some quiet background music while your wife prepares your favourite meal, followed by a jigsaw puzzle, a nice cup of hot chocolate and an early night.

C – Meeting your special friend at a coffee shop for a cafe latte and a gossip about fashion and celebrity lifestyles prior to moving on to the theatre to see ‘Billy Elliot – The Musical'.

Women's Choices:

A – Invite the girls round for an ‘Ann Summers' lingerie and sex toys party before dressing up in the sexiest clothes you have and heading into town to get blind drunk and, hopefully, a good seeing-to behind the bus station from some gorgeous hunk, before walking home with a can of lager and a bag of fish ‘n' chips.

B – A quiet night in cooking your hubby's favourite meal followed by a jigsaw puzzle, a nice cup of hot chocolate and an early night.

C – Attend a "wimmin-only" meeting at the Student Union committee room to discuss affirmative action strategies for implementation in male-dominated workplaces with a cup of ethically-sourced herbal tea and some Fairtrade organic dandelion and burdock biscuits.

2 - A blond stunner wearing a short skirt and a low-cut blouse starts work with your company - how do you react?

Men's Choices:

A – Check for carpet-burns on her knees and elbows. If she has them, pull rank and have her transferred to your office. If she hasn't, show her where the kitchen is and tell her you take milk and two sugars with your tea.

B – Ignore her, it's not your job to show her around and, anyway, you don't want to start any office gossip.

C – Tell her you simply adore her hair and ask her what products she uses to keep it in such good condition. Then warn her about Mary, the office manager, who is a total bitch troll from hell when she is on her rags.

Women's Choices:

A – Follow her into the ladies toilets, drag her into a cubicle by her hair and tell her to keep her beady little eyes off Wayne because if she doesn't you will to scratch them out and shove them down her scrawny little throat.

B – Ignore her, she looks like trouble, not to say decidedly tarty and you certainly don't want to be associated with her sort.

C – Invite her to join you in the gym at lunchtime and after your workout offer to soap her up in the showers.

3 - You decide to buy a new car, what model do you choose:

Men's Choices:

A – A Jaguar XKR Convertible - plenty of grunt from the supercharged V8 and superb handling from the stiffened suspension yet with enough class and luxury to impress the ladies.

B – A Nissan Micra - practical, safe and economical and comes with a three year unlimited mileage parts and labour warranty.

C – A Fiat 500 - cute, cuddly and easy to park, what more could a boy want?

Women's Choices:

A – A VW Beetle, fun and funky but with plenty of space for all your clothes shopping in the back.

B – Nothing, your hubby does all the driving.

C – A Citroen 2CV with a Greenpeace sticker in the back window.

Now, the Scores on the Doors:

Men:

Mainly A's – you are definitely one of the lads, fancy a pint?
Mainly B's – you are a right boring bastard, you should get out more, pal.
Mainly C's – bad news, I'm afraid: you are a screaming homosexual. Sorry you had to find out this way.

Women:

Mainly A's – phwoarrrr! What a goer - fancy a quickie round the back? Come on darling, you know you're gagging for it!
Mainly B's – you are a right boring cow, you should let your hair down and get out more, darling.
Mainly C's – you are an out-and-out lesbian (not that there is anything wrong with that, obviously, it is a perfectly valid alternative lifestyle choice and everyone loves a lesbian, unless you are one of those big muscular ones with a shaven head).

So, how did you do? Post your results below...
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MTGandP
Posts: 702
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9/10/2009 2:33:26 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
BBA. As long as someone else pays for gas. And repairs. And insurance. And the car. Oh screw it, I choose B.

But I refuse to accept that jigsaw puzzles are boring.
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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9/10/2009 2:55:07 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
NONE OF THE ABOVE.

Textbook Evening:
Reading (Philosophy). Comfortable, great dinner with a good wine list. Walk around NYC. Stuff. Go home; watch a movie. Take a bubble bath (for two). Get a massage. Have amazing sex.

Reaction to Hot Blonde:
Chat her up. Impress her. Intrigue her with my sexuality. Get her to realize her own conflicting sexuality and develop a HUGE crush on me. Appear even more attractive to her for remaining 100% faithful to my beautiful, amazing girlfriend (not to mention uphold my moral obligation to fidelity). Get rewarded with more amazing sex.

New Car: 1956 Jaguar XK140 Roadster

This one: http://www.hunterclassicsportscars.ca... (because I look good in green).
President of DDO
Kleptin
Posts: 5,095
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9/10/2009 2:59:21 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
BBB

1. Why should I pay for strippers?
2. I'm into Asian (Oriental for you brits) brunettes. Let someone else get a lawsuit :P
3. Own a Jaguar? In NYC? so I can show how cool it is to go 5mph in city traffic, or to watch some hoodlum drive off with it 3 days later XD?
: At 5/2/2010 2:43:54 PM, innomen wrote:
It isn't about finding a theory, philosophy or doctrine and thinking it's the answer, but a practical application of one's experiences that is the answer.

: At 10/28/2010 2:40:07 PM, jharry wrote: I have already been given the greatest Gift that anyone could ever hope for [Life], I would consider myself selfish if I expected anything more.
leet4A1
Posts: 1,986
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9/10/2009 3:48:25 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
ABB

What about you Brian?
"Let me tell you the truth. The truth is, 'what is'. And 'what should be' is a fantasy, a terrible terrible lie that someone gave to the people long ago. The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is." - Lenny Bruce

"Satan goes to church, did you know that?" - Godsands

"And Genisis 1 does match modern science... you just have to try really hard." - GR33K FR33K5
Xer
Posts: 7,776
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9/10/2009 4:17:10 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
BBA

1. Not exactly what I have in mind, but is the closest. Chilling at someone's house > parties, everytime.
2. Whatever. No need for drama, there are plenty of other girls out there anyway.
3. B and C are terrible cars, quite ugly actually. A is the easy choice.
leet4A1
Posts: 1,986
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9/10/2009 5:37:21 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 9/10/2009 2:59:21 PM, Kleptin wrote:

1. Why should I pay for strippers?

Because they're awesome, and they don't do it for free.
"Let me tell you the truth. The truth is, 'what is'. And 'what should be' is a fantasy, a terrible terrible lie that someone gave to the people long ago. The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is." - Lenny Bruce

"Satan goes to church, did you know that?" - Godsands

"And Genisis 1 does match modern science... you just have to try really hard." - GR33K FR33K5
Nik
Posts: 552
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9/10/2009 7:10:31 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
3 As all the way my man

This questionnaire is so chauvinistic

For girls your either a tart, a boring cow, or a lesbian.

Love it, Get in there my son!
"If you could tell the world but one truth, I could convince it of a thousand lies"
Nik
Posts: 552
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9/10/2009 7:19:52 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
guys seriously, everyone should have an A for the first question
"If you could tell the world but one truth, I could convince it of a thousand lies"
BIgMac_2
Posts: 365
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9/10/2009 7:20:48 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
A
half A(rug burns and switch offices) - half C (compliments-easier to get inside *wink*)
A obv
Body's breaking, drive me crazy
This is not your place
No, this is not your playground it's my heart
We were stupid, we got caught
Nothing matters anymore
So what? Here we are Juggernaut
- Coheed & Cambria

NOTE: WHEN SHOOTING A MIME, DO NOT USE A SILENCER OR HIS FRIENDS WILL HEAR YOU.
Ragnar_Rahl
Posts: 19,297
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9/10/2009 7:24:12 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
As an antisocial sort, I've got 2 B's and a ???? because B isn't as economical as motorcycles :).
It came to be at its height. It was commanded to command. It was a capital before its first stone was laid. It was a monument to the spirit of man.
Nik
Posts: 552
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9/10/2009 7:25:45 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
lol guys im just joking, did I hell got all As.

I actually got 3 Cs
"If you could tell the world but one truth, I could convince it of a thousand lies"
Kleptin
Posts: 5,095
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9/10/2009 7:27:31 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 9/10/2009 5:37:21 PM, leet4A1 wrote:
At 9/10/2009 2:59:21 PM, Kleptin wrote:

1. Why should I pay for strippers?

Because they're awesome, and they don't do it for free.

No, strippers aren't worth it. If you're going to pay, you pay for a hooker :P
: At 5/2/2010 2:43:54 PM, innomen wrote:
It isn't about finding a theory, philosophy or doctrine and thinking it's the answer, but a practical application of one's experiences that is the answer.

: At 10/28/2010 2:40:07 PM, jharry wrote: I have already been given the greatest Gift that anyone could ever hope for [Life], I would consider myself selfish if I expected anything more.
Kleptin
Posts: 5,095
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9/10/2009 7:30:03 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 9/10/2009 7:19:52 PM, Nik wrote:
guys seriously, everyone should have an A for the first question

He said "textbook night". I might go out and do that for a friend's birthday, but B makes a better match for a textbook night XD
: At 5/2/2010 2:43:54 PM, innomen wrote:
It isn't about finding a theory, philosophy or doctrine and thinking it's the answer, but a practical application of one's experiences that is the answer.

: At 10/28/2010 2:40:07 PM, jharry wrote: I have already been given the greatest Gift that anyone could ever hope for [Life], I would consider myself selfish if I expected anything more.
leet4A1
Posts: 1,986
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9/10/2009 7:38:47 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 9/10/2009 7:27:31 PM, Kleptin wrote:
At 9/10/2009 5:37:21 PM, leet4A1 wrote:
At 9/10/2009 2:59:21 PM, Kleptin wrote:

1. Why should I pay for strippers?

Because they're awesome, and they don't do it for free.

No, strippers aren't worth it. If you're going to pay, you pay for a hooker :P

Haha. Most girlfriends would frown upon a visit to the hooker; not so for the stripper.
"Let me tell you the truth. The truth is, 'what is'. And 'what should be' is a fantasy, a terrible terrible lie that someone gave to the people long ago. The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is." - Lenny Bruce

"Satan goes to church, did you know that?" - Godsands

"And Genisis 1 does match modern science... you just have to try really hard." - GR33K FR33K5
idontbelieveit
Posts: 207
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9/10/2009 7:43:51 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 9/10/2009 7:38:47 PM, leet4A1 wrote:
At 9/10/2009 7:27:31 PM, Kleptin wrote:
At 9/10/2009 5:37:21 PM, leet4A1 wrote:
At 9/10/2009 2:59:21 PM, Kleptin wrote:

1. Why should I pay for strippers?

Because they're awesome, and they don't do it for free.

No, strippers aren't worth it. If you're going to pay, you pay for a hooker :P

Haha. Most girlfriends would frown upon a visit to the hooker; not so for the stripper.

What if your girlfriend is a hooker?
leet4A1
Posts: 1,986
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9/10/2009 7:50:12 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 9/10/2009 7:43:51 PM, idontbelieveit wrote:
At 9/10/2009 7:38:47 PM, leet4A1 wrote:
At 9/10/2009 7:27:31 PM, Kleptin wrote:
At 9/10/2009 5:37:21 PM, leet4A1 wrote:
At 9/10/2009 2:59:21 PM, Kleptin wrote:

1. Why should I pay for strippers?

Because they're awesome, and they don't do it for free.

No, strippers aren't worth it. If you're going to pay, you pay for a hooker :P

Haha. Most girlfriends would frown upon a visit to the hooker; not so for the stripper.

What if your girlfriend is a hooker?

Then you have herpes.
"Let me tell you the truth. The truth is, 'what is'. And 'what should be' is a fantasy, a terrible terrible lie that someone gave to the people long ago. The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is." - Lenny Bruce

"Satan goes to church, did you know that?" - Godsands

"And Genisis 1 does match modern science... you just have to try really hard." - GR33K FR33K5
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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9/10/2009 8:50:25 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 9/10/2009 7:10:31 PM, Nik wrote:


For girls your either a tart, a boring cow, or a lesbian.


Not me! I made up my own answers...
President of DDO
brian_eggleston
Posts: 3,347
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9/11/2009 3:19:13 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 9/10/2009 3:48:25 PM, leet4A1 wrote:
ABB

What about you Brian?

AAA, of course! I wrote those options with me in mind.

Unfortunately, however, I don't own a convertible Jag, or any other car at the moment, because they have banned me from driving again. It seems that my love of the fast life, both literally and metaphorically, is incompatible with the possession of a driving licence!

I would be interested to know what theLwerd's answers were, b/t/w, because I wrote the women's choices partly with her in mind, since she is our most famous female member.
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Cerebral_Narcissist
Posts: 10,806
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9/11/2009 3:29:02 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
BBC

Boring with a touch of gay!
I am voting for Innomen because of his intelligence, common sense, humility and the fact that Juggle appears to listen to him. Any other Presidential style would have a large sub-section of the site up in arms. If I was President I would destroy the site though elitism, others would let it run riot. Innomen represents a middle way that works, neither draconian nor anarchic and that is the only way things can work. Plus he does it all without ego trips.