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My poem

verrynice
Posts: 16
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6/6/2013 11:24:34 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
I haven't been on here often which I kind of regret but nevertheless! here is a poem I wrote for a class assignment. I took inspiration from a DDO user so I based the poem around him because I really couldn't think of anything else. I really want to write things when Im older so hopefully you can give me some pointers on how I can improve on things. The poem got an A if your interested, anyway here it is.

The Unchanged Stranger.

Strange as I look at it now, it often seems to be that he thinks nothing at all
Strange now I wonder what he thinks of it all. Standing alone by the door, he feels life's roar and responds with a smile. Stranger come in for a while. Stranger walking Stranger tired, Stranger have a little sleep, make a cross when he's pleasantly dreaming and slowly watch him weep. What will he see? what will he do? I wonder if he will think of me and you. What will it be? will it be true?. The Mysterious Stranger smiles at you.
leojm
Posts: 1,825
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6/6/2013 11:29:34 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/6/2013 11:24:34 AM, verrynice wrote:
I haven't been on here often which I kind of regret but nevertheless! here is a poem I wrote for a class assignment. I took inspiration from a DDO user so I based the poem around him because I really couldn't think of anything else. I really want to write things when Im older so hopefully you can give me some pointers on how I can improve on things. The poem got an A if your interested, anyway here it is.

The Unchanged Stranger.

Strange as I look at it now, it often seems to be that he thinks nothing at all
Strange now I wonder what he thinks of it all. Standing alone by the door, he feels life's roar and responds with a smile. Stranger come in for a while. Stranger walking Stranger tired, Stranger have a little sleep, make a cross when he's pleasantly dreaming and slowly watch him weep. What will he see? what will he do? I wonder if he will think of me and you. What will it be? will it be true?. The Mysterious Stranger smiles at you.

I love it, It's amazing. :P
verrynice
Posts: 16
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6/6/2013 11:30:36 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/6/2013 11:29:34 AM, leojm wrote:
At 6/6/2013 11:24:34 AM, verrynice wrote:
I haven't been on here often which I kind of regret but nevertheless! here is a poem I wrote for a class assignment. I took inspiration from a DDO user so I based the poem around him because I really couldn't think of anything else. I really want to write things when Im older so hopefully you can give me some pointers on how I can improve on things. The poem got an A if your interested, anyway here it is.

The Unchanged Stranger.

Strange as I look at it now, it often seems to be that he thinks nothing at all
Strange now I wonder what he thinks of it all. Standing alone by the door, he feels life's roar and responds with a smile. Stranger come in for a while. Stranger walking Stranger tired, Stranger have a little sleep, make a cross when he's pleasantly dreaming and slowly watch him weep. What will he see? what will he do? I wonder if he will think of me and you. What will it be? will it be true?. The Mysterious Stranger smiles at you.

I love it, It's amazing. :P

Thanks! :D Ill try and get hold of some other stuff I did and post it as well.
leojm
Posts: 1,825
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6/6/2013 11:59:58 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/6/2013 11:30:36 AM, verrynice wrote:
At 6/6/2013 11:29:34 AM, leojm wrote:
At 6/6/2013 11:24:34 AM, verrynice wrote:
I haven't been on here often which I kind of regret but nevertheless! here is a poem I wrote for a class assignment. I took inspiration from a DDO user so I based the poem around him because I really couldn't think of anything else. I really want to write things when Im older so hopefully you can give me some pointers on how I can improve on things. The poem got an A if your interested, anyway here it is.

The Unchanged Stranger.

Strange as I look at it now, it often seems to be that he thinks nothing at all
Strange now I wonder what he thinks of it all. Standing alone by the door, he feels life's roar and responds with a smile. Stranger come in for a while. Stranger walking Stranger tired, Stranger have a little sleep, make a cross when he's pleasantly dreaming and slowly watch him weep. What will he see? what will he do? I wonder if he will think of me and you. What will it be? will it be true?. The Mysterious Stranger smiles at you.

I love it, It's amazing. :P

Thanks! :D Ill try and get hold of some other stuff I did and post it as well.

That would be great. I'm fascinated with poems.
verrynice
Posts: 16
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6/6/2013 12:20:43 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/6/2013 11:59:58 AM, leojm wrote:
At 6/6/2013 11:30:36 AM, verrynice wrote:
At 6/6/2013 11:29:34 AM, leojm wrote:
At 6/6/2013 11:24:34 AM, verrynice wrote:
I haven't been on here often which I kind of regret but nevertheless! here is a poem I wrote for a class assignment. I took inspiration from a DDO user so I based the poem around him because I really couldn't think of anything else. I really want to write things when Im older so hopefully you can give me some pointers on how I can improve on things. The poem got an A if your interested, anyway here it is.

The Unchanged Stranger.

Strange as I look at it now, it often seems to be that he thinks nothing at all
Strange now I wonder what he thinks of it all. Standing alone by the door, he feels life's roar and responds with a smile. Stranger come in for a while. Stranger walking Stranger tired, Stranger have a little sleep, make a cross when he's pleasantly dreaming and slowly watch him weep. What will he see? what will he do? I wonder if he will think of me and you. What will it be? will it be true?. The Mysterious Stranger smiles at you.

I love it, It's amazing. :P

Thanks! :D Ill try and get hold of some other stuff I did and post it as well.

That would be great. I'm fascinated with poems.

Yeah I was always captivated by poems and stuff even when I was little, I write stories as well. Im working on one now, its interpreting various DDO personalities because I find that DDO is a good source for inspiration.
leojm
Posts: 1,825
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6/6/2013 12:21:52 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/6/2013 12:20:43 PM, verrynice wrote:
At 6/6/2013 11:59:58 AM, leojm wrote:
At 6/6/2013 11:30:36 AM, verrynice wrote:
At 6/6/2013 11:29:34 AM, leojm wrote:
At 6/6/2013 11:24:34 AM, verrynice wrote:
I haven't been on here often which I kind of regret but nevertheless! here is a poem I wrote for a class assignment. I took inspiration from a DDO user so I based the poem around him because I really couldn't think of anything else. I really want to write things when Im older so hopefully you can give me some pointers on how I can improve on things. The poem got an A if your interested, anyway here it is.

The Unchanged Stranger.

Strange as I look at it now, it often seems to be that he thinks nothing at all
Strange now I wonder what he thinks of it all. Standing alone by the door, he feels life's roar and responds with a smile. Stranger come in for a while. Stranger walking Stranger tired, Stranger have a little sleep, make a cross when he's pleasantly dreaming and slowly watch him weep. What will he see? what will he do? I wonder if he will think of me and you. What will it be? will it be true?. The Mysterious Stranger smiles at you.

I love it, It's amazing. :P

Thanks! :D Ill try and get hold of some other stuff I did and post it as well.

That would be great. I'm fascinated with poems.

Yeah I was always captivated by poems and stuff even when I was little, I write stories as well. Im working on one now, its interpreting various DDO personalities because I find that DDO is a good source for inspiration.

My boyfriend wrote me a poem, just for me. It was so amazing I can't stop reading it.
verrynice
Posts: 16
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6/6/2013 12:31:29 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/6/2013 12:21:52 PM, leojm wrote:
At 6/6/2013 12:20:43 PM, verrynice wrote:
At 6/6/2013 11:59:58 AM, leojm wrote:
At 6/6/2013 11:30:36 AM, verrynice wrote:
At 6/6/2013 11:29:34 AM, leojm wrote:
At 6/6/2013 11:24:34 AM, verrynice wrote:
I haven't been on here often which I kind of regret but nevertheless! here is a poem I wrote for a class assignment. I took inspiration from a DDO user so I based the poem around him because I really couldn't think of anything else. I really want to write things when Im older so hopefully you can give me some pointers on how I can improve on things. The poem got an A if your interested, anyway here it is.

The Unchanged Stranger.

Strange as I look at it now, it often seems to be that he thinks nothing at all
Strange now I wonder what he thinks of it all. Standing alone by the door, he feels life's roar and responds with a smile. Stranger come in for a while. Stranger walking Stranger tired, Stranger have a little sleep, make a cross when he's pleasantly dreaming and slowly watch him weep. What will he see? what will he do? I wonder if he will think of me and you. What will it be? will it be true?. The Mysterious Stranger smiles at you.

I love it, It's amazing. :P

Thanks! :D Ill try and get hold of some other stuff I did and post it as well.

That would be great. I'm fascinated with poems.

Yeah I was always captivated by poems and stuff even when I was little, I write stories as well. Im working on one now, its interpreting various DDO personalities because I find that DDO is a good source for inspiration.

My boyfriend wrote me a poem, just for me. It was so amazing I can't stop reading it.

That's really sweet I wish someone would write me something with meaning, my last boyfriend didn't really know anything about writing.
leojm
Posts: 1,825
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6/6/2013 12:33:43 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/6/2013 12:31:29 PM, verrynice wrote:
At 6/6/2013 12:21:52 PM, leojm wrote:
At 6/6/2013 12:20:43 PM, verrynice wrote:
At 6/6/2013 11:59:58 AM, leojm wrote:
At 6/6/2013 11:30:36 AM, verrynice wrote:
At 6/6/2013 11:29:34 AM, leojm wrote:
At 6/6/2013 11:24:34 AM, verrynice wrote:
I haven't been on here often which I kind of regret but nevertheless! here is a poem I wrote for a class assignment. I took inspiration from a DDO user so I based the poem around him because I really couldn't think of anything else. I really want to write things when Im older so hopefully you can give me some pointers on how I can improve on things. The poem got an A if your interested, anyway here it is.

The Unchanged Stranger.

Strange as I look at it now, it often seems to be that he thinks nothing at all
Strange now I wonder what he thinks of it all. Standing alone by the door, he feels life's roar and responds with a smile. Stranger come in for a while. Stranger walking Stranger tired, Stranger have a little sleep, make a cross when he's pleasantly dreaming and slowly watch him weep. What will he see? what will he do? I wonder if he will think of me and you. What will it be? will it be true?. The Mysterious Stranger smiles at you.

I love it, It's amazing. :P

Thanks! :D Ill try and get hold of some other stuff I did and post it as well.

That would be great. I'm fascinated with poems.

Yeah I was always captivated by poems and stuff even when I was little, I write stories as well. Im working on one now, its interpreting various DDO personalities because I find that DDO is a good source for inspiration.

My boyfriend wrote me a poem, just for me. It was so amazing I can't stop reading it.

That's really sweet I wish someone would write me something with meaning, my last boyfriend didn't really know anything about writing.

Oh, I can ask my boyfriend to write you a poem. He is on this site, or you can ask him. His name is Buddamoose. :P
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,449
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6/6/2013 12:36:01 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
I don't write on demand tyvm
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
leojm
Posts: 1,825
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6/6/2013 12:43:20 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/6/2013 12:41:27 PM, verrynice wrote:
At 6/6/2013 12:36:01 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
I don't write on demand tyvm

lol

Yes, this is my boyfriend. Verynice this is my boyfriend Buddamoose, Buddamoose this is my friend who wrote an awesome poem. :P
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,449
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6/6/2013 12:44:27 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/6/2013 12:43:20 PM, leojm wrote:
At 6/6/2013 12:41:27 PM, verrynice wrote:
At 6/6/2013 12:36:01 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
I don't write on demand tyvm

lol

Yes, this is my boyfriend. Verynice this is my boyfriend Buddamoose, Buddamoose this is my friend who wrote an awesome poem. :P

I have much talent writing, yes...
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
Mysterious_Stranger
Posts: 1,562
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6/6/2013 12:52:52 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/6/2013 11:24:34 AM, verrynice wrote:
I haven't been on here often which I kind of regret but nevertheless! here is a poem I wrote for a class assignment. I took inspiration from a DDO user so I based the poem around him because I really couldn't think of anything else. I really want to write things when Im older so hopefully you can give me some pointers on how I can improve on things. The poem got an A if your interested, anyway here it is.

The Unchanged Stranger.

Strange as I look at it now, it often seems to be that he thinks nothing at all
Strange now I wonder what he thinks of it all. Standing alone by the door, he feels life's roar and responds with a smile. Stranger come in for a while. Stranger walking Stranger tired, Stranger have a little sleep, make a cross when he's pleasantly dreaming and slowly watch him weep. What will he see? what will he do? I wonder if he will think of me and you. What will it be? will it be true?. The Mysterious Stranger smiles at you.

What causes anyone to write anything like this I will never know.
Turn around, go back.
DakotaKrafick
Posts: 1,517
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6/6/2013 2:56:59 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/6/2013 11:24:34 AM, verrynice wrote:
I haven't been on here often which I kind of regret but nevertheless! here is a poem I wrote for a class assignment. I took inspiration from a DDO user so I based the poem around him because I really couldn't think of anything else. I really want to write things when Im older so hopefully you can give me some pointers on how I can improve on things. The poem got an A if your interested, anyway here it is.

The Unchanged Stranger.

Strange as I look at it now, it often seems to be that he thinks nothing at all
Strange now I wonder what he thinks of it all. Standing alone by the door, he feels life's roar and responds with a smile. Stranger come in for a while. Stranger walking Stranger tired, Stranger have a little sleep, make a cross when he's pleasantly dreaming and slowly watch him weep. What will he see? what will he do? I wonder if he will think of me and you. What will it be? will it be true?. The Mysterious Stranger smiles at you.

Which member inspired you to write this?
verrynice
Posts: 16
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6/6/2013 3:01:38 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/6/2013 2:56:59 PM, DakotaKrafick wrote:
At 6/6/2013 11:24:34 AM, verrynice wrote:
I haven't been on here often which I kind of regret but nevertheless! here is a poem I wrote for a class assignment. I took inspiration from a DDO user so I based the poem around him because I really couldn't think of anything else. I really want to write things when Im older so hopefully you can give me some pointers on how I can improve on things. The poem got an A if your interested, anyway here it is.

The Unchanged Stranger.

Strange as I look at it now, it often seems to be that he thinks nothing at all
Strange now I wonder what he thinks of it all. Standing alone by the door, he feels life's roar and responds with a smile. Stranger come in for a while. Stranger walking Stranger tired, Stranger have a little sleep, make a cross when he's pleasantly dreaming and slowly watch him weep. What will he see? what will he do? I wonder if he will think of me and you. What will it be? will it be true?. The Mysterious Stranger smiles at you.

Which member inspired you to write this?

Mysterious_Stranger purely because he's quite odd and was on my mind on the day I wrote this.
DakotaKrafick
Posts: 1,517
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6/6/2013 3:10:08 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/6/2013 3:01:38 PM, verrynice wrote:
At 6/6/2013 2:56:59 PM, DakotaKrafick wrote:
At 6/6/2013 11:24:34 AM, verrynice wrote:
I haven't been on here often which I kind of regret but nevertheless! here is a poem I wrote for a class assignment. I took inspiration from a DDO user so I based the poem around him because I really couldn't think of anything else. I really want to write things when Im older so hopefully you can give me some pointers on how I can improve on things. The poem got an A if your interested, anyway here it is.

The Unchanged Stranger.

Strange as I look at it now, it often seems to be that he thinks nothing at all
Strange now I wonder what he thinks of it all. Standing alone by the door, he feels life's roar and responds with a smile. Stranger come in for a while. Stranger walking Stranger tired, Stranger have a little sleep, make a cross when he's pleasantly dreaming and slowly watch him weep. What will he see? what will he do? I wonder if he will think of me and you. What will it be? will it be true?. The Mysterious Stranger smiles at you.

Which member inspired you to write this?

Mysterious_Stranger purely because he's quite odd and was on my mind on the day I wrote this.

I see. The flow of this particular poem eluded me when trying to read it; what meter are you using? Perhaps you should insert more line breaks to make the flow clearer?
verrynice
Posts: 16
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6/6/2013 3:15:41 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/6/2013 3:10:08 PM, DakotaKrafick wrote:
At 6/6/2013 3:01:38 PM, verrynice wrote:
At 6/6/2013 2:56:59 PM, DakotaKrafick wrote:
At 6/6/2013 11:24:34 AM, verrynice wrote:
I haven't been on here often which I kind of regret but nevertheless! here is a poem I wrote for a class assignment. I took inspiration from a DDO user so I based the poem around him because I really couldn't think of anything else. I really want to write things when Im older so hopefully you can give me some pointers on how I can improve on things. The poem got an A if your interested, anyway here it is.

The Unchanged Stranger.

Strange as I look at it now, it often seems to be that he thinks nothing at all
Strange now I wonder what he thinks of it all. Standing alone by the door, he feels life's roar and responds with a smile. Stranger come in for a while. Stranger walking Stranger tired, Stranger have a little sleep, make a cross when he's pleasantly dreaming and slowly watch him weep. What will he see? what will he do? I wonder if he will think of me and you. What will it be? will it be true?. The Mysterious Stranger smiles at you.

Which member inspired you to write this?

Mysterious_Stranger purely because he's quite odd and was on my mind on the day I wrote this.

I see. The flow of this particular poem eluded me when trying to read it; what meter are you using? Perhaps you should insert more line breaks to make the flow clearer?

Yeah it did have some spacing when I first wrote it but I kind of went mental typing it and forgot to put it into a format.
DakotaKrafick
Posts: 1,517
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6/6/2013 3:23:37 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/6/2013 3:15:41 PM, verrynice wrote:
At 6/6/2013 3:10:08 PM, DakotaKrafick wrote:
At 6/6/2013 3:01:38 PM, verrynice wrote:
At 6/6/2013 2:56:59 PM, DakotaKrafick wrote:
At 6/6/2013 11:24:34 AM, verrynice wrote:
I haven't been on here often which I kind of regret but nevertheless! here is a poem I wrote for a class assignment. I took inspiration from a DDO user so I based the poem around him because I really couldn't think of anything else. I really want to write things when Im older so hopefully you can give me some pointers on how I can improve on things. The poem got an A if your interested, anyway here it is.

The Unchanged Stranger.

Strange as I look at it now, it often seems to be that he thinks nothing at all
Strange now I wonder what he thinks of it all. Standing alone by the door, he feels life's roar and responds with a smile. Stranger come in for a while. Stranger walking Stranger tired, Stranger have a little sleep, make a cross when he's pleasantly dreaming and slowly watch him weep. What will he see? what will he do? I wonder if he will think of me and you. What will it be? will it be true?. The Mysterious Stranger smiles at you.

Which member inspired you to write this?

Mysterious_Stranger purely because he's quite odd and was on my mind on the day I wrote this.

I see. The flow of this particular poem eluded me when trying to read it; what meter are you using? Perhaps you should insert more line breaks to make the flow clearer?

Yeah it did have some spacing when I first wrote it but I kind of went mental typing it and forgot to put it into a format.

The ambiguous flow is my biggest criticism for now; without understanding how I'm supposed to read it, I can't criticize much else.

Both the difficulty and importance of critiquing, though, will never amount to that of writing.
leojm
Posts: 1,825
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6/6/2013 7:14:25 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
This is pretty good for writing what is on your mind. I can never do that. My heart does the thinking when it comes to this type of stuff. :)