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Darkest Thing I Have Ever Written

dtaylor971
Posts: 1,907
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12/14/2014 12:12:01 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Beware...

"It is unlikely that anyone will ever see this, but just in case.

Funny, isn"t it? A boy can seem so happy and cheerful on the outside, but have an inside ghastlier than a thousand ghouls. I suppose this should be the way to describe me; a broken down boy with no intent on living life whatsoever.

I will just rot in a hole in the ground, having no memory whatsoever of the wretched events that have taken place in my life" which would be better than the seemingly eternal darkness that has taken over my soul in what optimistic freaks call "life."

Life is filled with disappointment that heavily outweigh the goods, work that outweighs play, stress that outweighs calmness. I would much rather just forget about all of this, make it end before it fully begins. Spending eternity in a wood-rotting coffin, having no consciousness, and letting worms peck out your brain is much better than this damnable place on Earth.

You know exactly when I"m happy? For those ten minutes in the morning when you are in the void between awake and asleep; in a dream or trance like state. There, I can imagine my life is actually bearable" and then I wake up. But, I don"t want to wake up. There"s only one option to never wake up: to kill yourself. An inevitable realization flashed upon me: that I must kill myself to achieve true happiness.

And if one of those crap religions turns out to be true, if I get reincarnated or magically given a second chance, I can pretty much guarantee that I"m going to put a knife through my skull all over again. Oh, and do whatever the hell you want with my body. I"m dead, so what do I care? Throw it in a ditch, burn it in a fire, throw it into an ocean. Whatever will make you insufferable bastards happy. So long, have fun in your meaningless march to death!

Signed,
John Banks."

It's a suicide note that I composed for my creative writing class... but I ended up turning in a story about a downed plane and a man who is trapped on a desert island.
"I don't know why gays want to marry, I have spent the last 25 years wishing I wasn't allowed to." -Sadolite
1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,102
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12/14/2014 12:33:30 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
This was...good...
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

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headphonegut
Posts: 4,122
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12/14/2014 1:08:00 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/14/2014 12:12:01 AM, dtaylor971 wrote:
Beware...

"It is unlikely that anyone will ever see this, but just in case.

Funny, isn"t it? A boy can seem so happy and cheerful on the outside, but have an inside ghastlier than a thousand ghouls. I suppose this should be the way to describe me; a broken down boy with no intent on living life whatsoever.

I will just rot in a hole in the ground, having no memory whatsoever of the wretched events that have taken place in my life" which would be better than the seemingly eternal darkness that has taken over my soul in what optimistic freaks call "life."

Life is filled with disappointment that heavily outweigh the goods, work that outweighs play, stress that outweighs calmness. I would much rather just forget about all of this, make it end before it fully begins. Spending eternity in a wood-rotting coffin, having no consciousness, and letting worms peck out your brain is much better than this damnable place on Earth.

You know exactly when I"m happy? For those ten minutes in the morning when you are in the void between awake and asleep; in a dream or trance like state. There, I can imagine my life is actually bearable" and then I wake up. But, I don"t want to wake up. There"s only one option to never wake up: to kill yourself. An inevitable realization flashed upon me: that I must kill myself to achieve true happiness.

And if one of those crap religions turns out to be true, if I get reincarnated or magically given a second chance, I can pretty much guarantee that I"m going to put a knife through my skull all over again. Oh, and do whatever the hell you want with my body. I"m dead, so what do I care? Throw it in a ditch, burn it in a fire, throw it into an ocean. Whatever will make you insufferable bastards happy. So long, have fun in your meaningless march to death!

Signed,
John Banks."

It's a suicide note that I composed for my creative writing class... but I ended up turning in a story about a downed plane and a man who is trapped on a desert island.

That sounds like a pretty crazy Friday. I think I can top it tho.
As a side note you made him contradict himself with the whole soul thing.
I liked the imagery. Could have been "darker" I think by extension for me that means better.
Do you have anymore?
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imabench
Posts: 21,229
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12/14/2014 11:51:30 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
this reminds me of that episode of family guy where it was revealed that brian kept a gun and a bottle of booze in a bank vault just in case he ever wanted to commit suicide. The booze would be his final drink
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ConservativePolitico
Posts: 8,210
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12/14/2014 11:53:24 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Eh it sounds forced and isn't really all that dark. It's pretty good, could use some editing. Depression and realizations that life are useless are a tried and tired method of sounding edgy and emotional.
phiLockeraptor
Posts: 233
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12/15/2014 9:28:48 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/14/2014 11:53:24 AM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
Eh it sounds forced and isn't really all that dark. It's pretty good, could use some editing. Depression and realizations that life are useless are a tried and tired method of sounding edgy and emotional.

Can I quote you on that?
"Philosophy is a great conversation that never ends"

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intellectuallyprimitive
Posts: 1,000
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1/5/2015 11:59:46 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/5/2015 4:41:14 PM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
Nothing is darker than this: http://gizmodo.com...

Innocence was dismissed as a child and eventually molded into an immutable darkness. I understand what the darkness is and how it develops, but each individual experiences his/her own unique to them, so I am incapable of relating to his personal anguish.

This causes me to ponder, does an individual possess an inherent darkness, or is it summoned via a traumatic experience? I can assure you, if it is the combination of both, you have the potential manifestation of a monster.
Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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1/7/2015 2:58:29 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/5/2015 11:59:46 PM, intellectuallyprimitive wrote:
At 1/5/2015 4:41:14 PM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
Nothing is darker than this: http://gizmodo.com...

Innocence was dismissed as a child and eventually molded into an immutable darkness. I understand what the darkness is and how it develops, but each individual experiences his/her own unique to them, so I am incapable of relating to his personal anguish.

This causes me to ponder, does an individual possess an inherent darkness, or is it summoned via a traumatic experience? I can assure you, if it is the combination of both, you have the potential manifestation of a monster.

Summoned = epigenetically activated.
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