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"Future Euro Talk"

nonentity
Posts: 5,008
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10/16/2010 9:27:10 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
Was cleaning out my email inbox and came across this. Sorry if it's hard to read.

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
> >will be the official language of the European Union rather than German,
> >which was the other possibility.
> >
> >As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
> >English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-
> >year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
> >
> >In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
> >make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
> >favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have
> >one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
> >year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make
> >words like fotograf 20% shorter.
> >
> >In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
> >to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
> >
> >Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
> >always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
> >
> >Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag
> >is disgrasful and it should go away.
> >
> >By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
> >replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
> >
> >During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
> >"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
> >
> >Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
> >understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
> >
> >Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
> >forst plas.
> >
>>If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl
Kleptin
Posts: 5,095
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10/16/2010 9:36:01 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
I LOL'ed because I read it out loud to myself and noticed the German accent coming out of my mouth before I got the joke XD

German is actually simplified English. Old English sounds exactly like it.
: At 5/2/2010 2:43:54 PM, innomen wrote:
It isn't about finding a theory, philosophy or doctrine and thinking it's the answer, but a practical application of one's experiences that is the answer.

: At 10/28/2010 2:40:07 PM, jharry wrote: I have already been given the greatest Gift that anyone could ever hope for [Life], I would consider myself selfish if I expected anything more.
annhasle
Posts: 6,657
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10/16/2010 9:44:02 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
I LOL'ed SO MUCH. This sounds like my family... Actually, it sounds like me in my first year of speaking English! Thanks for the post! :D
I'm not back. This idiot just upset me which made me stop lurking.
nonentity
Posts: 5,008
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10/16/2010 9:49:05 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/16/2010 9:44:02 PM, annhasle wrote:
I LOL'ed SO MUCH. This sounds like my family... Actually, it sounds like me in my first year of speaking English! Thanks for the post! :D

hahaha Cute!
annhasle
Posts: 6,657
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10/16/2010 9:53:42 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/16/2010 9:49:05 PM, TulleKrazy wrote:
At 10/16/2010 9:44:02 PM, annhasle wrote:
I LOL'ed SO MUCH. This sounds like my family... Actually, it sounds like me in my first year of speaking English! Thanks for the post! :D

hahaha Cute!

Lol You know one way to get rid of someone REAL fast? Talk like that. Whenever there's a creeper on the buses I take, I start speaking in that accent again and BAM! They won't even look at me. xD
I'm not back. This idiot just upset me which made me stop lurking.
Kleptin
Posts: 5,095
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10/16/2010 9:56:15 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/16/2010 9:53:42 PM, annhasle wrote:
At 10/16/2010 9:49:05 PM, TulleKrazy wrote:
At 10/16/2010 9:44:02 PM, annhasle wrote:
I LOL'ed SO MUCH. This sounds like my family... Actually, it sounds like me in my first year of speaking English! Thanks for the post! :D

hahaha Cute!

Lol You know one way to get rid of someone REAL fast? Talk like that. Whenever there's a creeper on the buses I take, I start speaking in that accent again and BAM! They won't even look at me. xD

I sing "Largo Al Factotum" as quickly as I can. You'd be surprised at how many people are intimidated by people who sing in NYC, they take it as a sign of insanity.
: At 5/2/2010 2:43:54 PM, innomen wrote:
It isn't about finding a theory, philosophy or doctrine and thinking it's the answer, but a practical application of one's experiences that is the answer.

: At 10/28/2010 2:40:07 PM, jharry wrote: I have already been given the greatest Gift that anyone could ever hope for [Life], I would consider myself selfish if I expected anything more.
nonentity
Posts: 5,008
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10/16/2010 10:03:52 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/16/2010 9:56:15 PM, Kleptin wrote:
At 10/16/2010 9:53:42 PM, annhasle wrote:
At 10/16/2010 9:49:05 PM, TulleKrazy wrote:
At 10/16/2010 9:44:02 PM, annhasle wrote:
I LOL'ed SO MUCH. This sounds like my family... Actually, it sounds like me in my first year of speaking English! Thanks for the post! :D

hahaha Cute!

Lol You know one way to get rid of someone REAL fast? Talk like that. Whenever there's a creeper on the buses I take, I start speaking in that accent again and BAM! They won't even look at me. xD

I sing "Largo Al Factotum" as quickly as I can. You'd be surprised at how many people are intimidated by people who sing in NYC, they take it as a sign of insanity.

Okay, that is funny!
annhasle
Posts: 6,657
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10/16/2010 10:05:09 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/16/2010 9:56:15 PM, Kleptin wrote:
At 10/16/2010 9:53:42 PM, annhasle wrote:
At 10/16/2010 9:49:05 PM, TulleKrazy wrote:
At 10/16/2010 9:44:02 PM, annhasle wrote:
I LOL'ed SO MUCH. This sounds like my family... Actually, it sounds like me in my first year of speaking English! Thanks for the post! :D

hahaha Cute!

Lol You know one way to get rid of someone REAL fast? Talk like that. Whenever there's a creeper on the buses I take, I start speaking in that accent again and BAM! They won't even look at me. xD

I sing "Largo Al Factotum" as quickly as I can. You'd be surprised at how many people are intimidated by people who sing in NYC, they take it as a sign of insanity.

Ah, thank god for Gioachino Rossini. LOL People in Seattle would most likely chime in or just compliment you on your singing. Nothing can deter them from getting close, unless you're German I guess. Mwah ha ha, I shall tak ove ze vorld.
I'm not back. This idiot just upset me which made me stop lurking.
wush
Posts: 330
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10/17/2010 4:57:10 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
ahaha my maths teacher showed me that a while ago
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