Total Posts:30|Showing Posts:1-30
Jump to topic:

Love or Logic?

gavin.ogden
Posts: 1,729
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
11/4/2010 11:06:35 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
When choosing a life partner, what is more important, love or logic? If we love someone, but they are not ready to move forward in life, do we stick it out and risk wasting our time, or do we hesitantly move on with our life and hope they catch up one day?
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
11/4/2010 11:21:00 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 11:06:35 AM, gavin.ogden wrote:
When choosing a life partner, what is more important, love or logic? If we love someone, but they are not ready to move forward in life, do we stick it out and risk wasting our time, or do we hesitantly move on with our life and hope they catch up one day?

You move on... So logic, I guess.
President of DDO
gavin.ogden
Posts: 1,729
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
11/4/2010 11:22:04 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 11:18:09 AM, InsertNameHere wrote:
I don't really understand the question, but I choose logic.

Think about it this way. Have you ever had a friend who is with someone based purely on raw emotion? It is clear as day that it will never work, and everyone can see it except them. They let their emotions control their life instead of using their mind. I don't know if I explained it any better the second time...
InsertNameHere
Posts: 15,699
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
11/4/2010 11:23:11 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 11:22:04 AM, gavin.ogden wrote:
At 11/4/2010 11:18:09 AM, InsertNameHere wrote:
I don't really understand the question, but I choose logic.

Think about it this way. Have you ever had a friend who is with someone based purely on raw emotion? It is clear as day that it will never work, and everyone can see it except them. They let their emotions control their life instead of using their mind. I don't know if I explained it any better the second time...

No, I get it. And yes, I have seen that happen.
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
11/4/2010 11:28:35 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
I cannot be with someone I don't love, that is most important. However I am unable to love someone if its illogical.
I can't love someone that would abuse me, I can't love someone that is so different than me that it would never work, nor can I love someone that is just like me.
So I would say, for me at least they go hand in hand.

I would not go out with someone because its the most *logical* thing to do. I love all my friends but I wouldn't go out with them just cause their having a bad day or something.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
11/4/2010 11:29:49 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 11:22:04 AM, gavin.ogden wrote:
At 11/4/2010 11:18:09 AM, InsertNameHere wrote:
I don't really understand the question, but I choose logic.

Think about it this way. Have you ever had a friend who is with someone based purely on raw emotion? It is clear as day that it will never work, and everyone can see it except them. They let their emotions control their life instead of using their mind. I don't know if I explained it any better the second time...

Been there, done that. So many times. I cannot tell you how many people I've "pursued" just for the sake of doing it lol (because it's fun for me, and I always get who I want which is nothing but an ego boost and fast gratification). But at the end of the day, it was never worth it. I've regretted pretty much everything I've done for the sake of relationships - both the frivolous ones AND even the ones that were serious and lasted for a year or more. Still, most experiences were worth it (that's how you learn) but at the end of the day I wish I had made the smarter choices in many situations. I think maturity refers to doing what you know is 'right' even if you really don't want to. In this case, if you or said hypothetical person knows that something is probably a waste of time and effort, then you should move on regardless of how hard it is -- because time heals all wounds, and you'll recover eventually, but you can't get back lost time or wasted effort. If I could go back, I'd change a lot of decisions in that department (choosing love over logic, so to speak). I say be strong and find it within yourself to move on, because the lessons that come with finding the inner strength to do that will help you way more regarding love and other predicaments in the future, I promise you! Good luck :)
President of DDO
innomen
Posts: 10,052
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
11/4/2010 11:35:04 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 11:06:35 AM, gavin.ogden wrote:
When choosing a life partner, what is more important, love or logic? If we love someone, but they are not ready to move forward in life, do we stick it out and risk wasting our time, or do we hesitantly move on with our life and hope they catch up one day?

It's more complicated than this. Love, or more accurately a loving relationship will always require sacrifice. The real question is how much sacrifice can you really make? It generally isn't based on a logical equation but rather an emotional response. A painful response of saying "enough", and even then there are usually negotiations involved. Or perhaps the question is, when you are in love how committed to that person are you? How much are you willing to give up? Some cannot do relationships because they aren't able to give up what is required.
gavin.ogden
Posts: 1,729
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
11/4/2010 11:45:12 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 11:35:04 AM, innomen wrote:
At 11/4/2010 11:06:35 AM, gavin.ogden wrote:
When choosing a life partner, what is more important, love or logic? If we love someone, but they are not ready to move forward in life, do we stick it out and risk wasting our time, or do we hesitantly move on with our life and hope they catch up one day?

It's more complicated than this. Love, or more accurately a loving relationship will always require sacrifice. The real question is how much sacrifice can you really make? It generally isn't based on a logical equation but rather an emotional response. A painful response of saying "enough", and even then there are usually negotiations involved. Or perhaps the question is, when you are in love how committed to that person are you? How much are you willing to give up? Some cannot do relationships because they aren't able to give up what is required.

I think what am saying is, how does an otherwise very intelligent person make horrible decisions in love? Why can some people make all the right decisions in business, time management, and platonic friendship, but be so horrible in choosing the right mate? I have seen it many times, and have even been guilty myself. Where do the blinders come from?
innomen
Posts: 10,052
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
11/4/2010 12:07:43 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 11:45:12 AM, gavin.ogden wrote:
At 11/4/2010 11:35:04 AM, innomen wrote:
At 11/4/2010 11:06:35 AM, gavin.ogden wrote:
When choosing a life partner, what is more important, love or logic? If we love someone, but they are not ready to move forward in life, do we stick it out and risk wasting our time, or do we hesitantly move on with our life and hope they catch up one day?

It's more complicated than this. Love, or more accurately a loving relationship will always require sacrifice. The real question is how much sacrifice can you really make? It generally isn't based on a logical equation but rather an emotional response. A painful response of saying "enough", and even then there are usually negotiations involved. Or perhaps the question is, when you are in love how committed to that person are you? How much are you willing to give up? Some cannot do relationships because they aren't able to give up what is required.

I think what am saying is, how does an otherwise very intelligent person make horrible decisions in love? Why can some people make all the right decisions in business, time management, and platonic friendship, but be so horrible in choosing the right mate? I have seen it many times, and have even been guilty myself. Where do the blinders come from?

I think you're only really in love when you are making these idiotic decisions, otherwise it's not really love. Maybe i am a little extreme in that, but i think you know what i mean. Love messes up the entire equation of logic, it negates logic, it's a form of accepted insanity ;-) - it is the nature of love, and in some ways it's kind of cool.
innomen
Posts: 10,052
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
11/4/2010 1:04:40 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 12:20:15 PM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
Unless you manage to love someone for absolutely no reason whatsoever (which isn't love at all, really), love is necessarily logical, even if the reasons for our loving someone are only implicitly so.

But i think what we're working with here is when the net benefits of a particular love do not meet the negatives of a particular love and you maintain it anyway. Often pleasure and happiness factors are not realistically able to be judged because love messes up one's ability to make the judgment. It is thus illogical to continue, but we do anyway.
gavin.ogden
Posts: 1,729
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
11/4/2010 1:07:39 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 1:04:40 PM, innomen wrote:
At 11/4/2010 12:20:15 PM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
Unless you manage to love someone for absolutely no reason whatsoever (which isn't love at all, really), love is necessarily logical, even if the reasons for our loving someone are only implicitly so.

But i think what we're working with here is when the net benefits of a particular love do not meet the negatives of a particular love and you maintain it anyway. Often pleasure and happiness factors are not realistically able to be judged because love messes up one's ability to make the judgment. It is thus illogical to continue, but we do anyway.

So, we have quite the paradox, havn't we?
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
11/4/2010 1:10:26 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 12:20:15 PM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
Unless you manage to love someone for absolutely no reason whatsoever (which isn't love at all, really), love is necessarily logical, even if the reasons for our loving someone are only implicitly so.

I know what you're getting at, and what you're trying to say, but that isn't always true considering the limitations language puts on us and how people differently describe the concept of "love."
President of DDO
innomen
Posts: 10,052
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
11/4/2010 1:22:02 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 1:07:39 PM, gavin.ogden wrote:
At 11/4/2010 1:04:40 PM, innomen wrote:
At 11/4/2010 12:20:15 PM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
Unless you manage to love someone for absolutely no reason whatsoever (which isn't love at all, really), love is necessarily logical, even if the reasons for our loving someone are only implicitly so.

But i think what we're working with here is when the net benefits of a particular love do not meet the negatives of a particular love and you maintain it anyway. Often pleasure and happiness factors are not realistically able to be judged because love messes up one's ability to make the judgment. It is thus illogical to continue, but we do anyway.

So, we have quite the paradox, havn't we?

It is a paradox i guess. It just shows you where logic falls in life and where it doesn't. I think in the thread that Cody created about his friend, and how it was difficult to deal with his friend's lack of logic, i said - God help you when you fall in love. Logic is a tool that we use, but it's not something we completely enshrine otherwise you will sanctify the ridiculous.
gavin.ogden
Posts: 1,729
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
11/4/2010 1:33:26 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 1:22:02 PM, innomen wrote:
At 11/4/2010 1:07:39 PM, gavin.ogden wrote:
At 11/4/2010 1:04:40 PM, innomen wrote:
At 11/4/2010 12:20:15 PM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
Unless you manage to love someone for absolutely no reason whatsoever (which isn't love at all, really), love is necessarily logical, even if the reasons for our loving someone are only implicitly so.

But i think what we're working with here is when the net benefits of a particular love do not meet the negatives of a particular love and you maintain it anyway. Often pleasure and happiness factors are not realistically able to be judged because love messes up one's ability to make the judgment. It is thus illogical to continue, but we do anyway.

So, we have quite the paradox, havn't we?

It is a paradox i guess. It just shows you where logic falls in life and where it doesn't. I think in the thread that Cody created about his friend, and how it was difficult to deal with his friend's lack of logic, i said - God help you when you fall in love. Logic is a tool that we use, but it's not something we completely enshrine otherwise you will sanctify the ridiculous.

So many things just cannot be explained, no matter how many minds you get to work on the same problem, some problems are unable to be solved. It's frustrating, especially when you watch it happening in front of your face, and no matter what you say to the person, their answer is, "I just love him/her." Oh well, such are the things that make life more interesting, I suppose.
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
11/4/2010 1:35:49 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
Find something that they have a strong logical disagrement on, get them started on that, then, grab a bowl of popcorn, a nice recliner, and enjoy the latest reality show from FOX.
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
gavin.ogden
Posts: 1,729
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
11/4/2010 1:40:43 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 1:35:49 PM, OreEle wrote:
Find something that they have a strong logical disagrement on, get them started on that, then, grab a bowl of popcorn, a nice recliner, and enjoy the latest reality show from FOX.

I like where you are going with this. That could lead into its own topic. Is it sadistic to actually want to watch something like that? I think in a way, it is, which would make us both sadists. Cheers!
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
11/4/2010 1:43:46 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 1:40:43 PM, gavin.ogden wrote:
At 11/4/2010 1:35:49 PM, OreEle wrote:
Find something that they have a strong logical disagrement on, get them started on that, then, grab a bowl of popcorn, a nice recliner, and enjoy the latest reality show from FOX.

I like where you are going with this. That could lead into its own topic. Is it sadistic to actually want to watch something like that? I think in a way, it is, which would make us both sadists. Cheers!

Actually, my wife is the saddist, I'm the masochist. lol.
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
gavin.ogden
Posts: 1,729
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
11/4/2010 1:48:56 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 1:43:46 PM, OreEle wrote:
At 11/4/2010 1:40:43 PM, gavin.ogden wrote:
At 11/4/2010 1:35:49 PM, OreEle wrote:
Find something that they have a strong logical disagrement on, get them started on that, then, grab a bowl of popcorn, a nice recliner, and enjoy the latest reality show from FOX.

I like where you are going with this. That could lead into its own topic. Is it sadistic to actually want to watch something like that? I think in a way, it is, which would make us both sadists. Cheers!

Actually, my wife is the saddist, I'm the masochist. lol.

LOL! Cheers, anyhow.
innomen
Posts: 10,052
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
11/4/2010 1:51:54 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 1:33:26 PM, gavin.ogden wrote:
At 11/4/2010 1:22:02 PM, innomen wrote:
At 11/4/2010 1:07:39 PM, gavin.ogden wrote:
At 11/4/2010 1:04:40 PM, innomen wrote:
At 11/4/2010 12:20:15 PM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
Unless you manage to love someone for absolutely no reason whatsoever (which isn't love at all, really), love is necessarily logical, even if the reasons for our loving someone are only implicitly so.

But i think what we're working with here is when the net benefits of a particular love do not meet the negatives of a particular love and you maintain it anyway. Often pleasure and happiness factors are not realistically able to be judged because love messes up one's ability to make the judgment. It is thus illogical to continue, but we do anyway.

So, we have quite the paradox, havn't we?

It is a paradox i guess. It just shows you where logic falls in life and where it doesn't. I think in the thread that Cody created about his friend, and how it was difficult to deal with his friend's lack of logic, i said - God help you when you fall in love. Logic is a tool that we use, but it's not something we completely enshrine otherwise you will sanctify the ridiculous.

So many things just cannot be explained, no matter how many minds you get to work on the same problem, some problems are unable to be solved. It's frustrating, especially when you watch it happening in front of your face, and no matter what you say to the person, their answer is, "I just love him/her." Oh well, such are the things that make life more interesting, I suppose.

It isn't all that bad actually. Often these people can bring the best out in us without us even knowing. Relationships that are carefully balanced out with all the pros and cons figured on an excel spread sheet are really not about love. Love has the ability to make us do things we would never ordinarily do in a million years. Again, not necessarily a bad thing.
Cody_Franklin
Posts: 9,483
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
11/4/2010 3:23:16 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 1:04:40 PM, innomen wrote:
At 11/4/2010 12:20:15 PM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
Unless you manage to love someone for absolutely no reason whatsoever (which isn't love at all, really), love is necessarily logical, even if the reasons for our loving someone are only implicitly so.

But i think what we're working with here is when the net benefits of a particular love do not meet the negatives of a particular love and you maintain it anyway.

Then, clearly, the negatives don't outweigh the positives, since the person in question is willing to endure the former to get at the latter.

Often pleasure and happiness factors are not realistically able to be judged because love messes up one's ability to make the judgment. It is thus illogical to continue, but we do anyway.

I think that your assertion about love messing up our judgments is a bit shaky. It's true in the romanticized, stereotyped sort of love, but some substantiation seems necessary here.
Cody_Franklin
Posts: 9,483
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
11/4/2010 3:24:16 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 1:10:26 PM, theLwerd wrote:
At 11/4/2010 12:20:15 PM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
Unless you manage to love someone for absolutely no reason whatsoever (which isn't love at all, really), love is necessarily logical, even if the reasons for our loving someone are only implicitly so.

I know what you're getting at, and what you're trying to say, but that isn't always true considering the limitations language puts on us and how people differently describe the concept of "love."

It would seem, then, that we require a good definition of love if this discussion is to get us anywhere.
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
11/4/2010 3:31:43 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 3:16:09 PM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
Sadist walks up to a masochist. Masochist says "hurt me". Sadist says "no".

ouch, emotional pain.
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
annhasle
Posts: 6,657
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
11/6/2010 7:44:32 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 11:23:46 PM, FREEDO wrote:
Love is logical

How can a chemical reaction be logical?
I'm not back. This idiot just upset me which made me stop lurking.