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Ultimate Pun . . .

SuperRobotWars
Posts: 3,906
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12/10/2010 7:31:42 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Create the best pun possible, the last person to post a pun wins . . .

I'll start . . .

My brother wishes he could compose smutty verse as good as mine. Is this scribbling ribaldry?
Minister Of Trolling
: At 12/6/2011 2:21:41 PM, badger wrote:
: ugly people should beat beautiful people ugly. simple! you'd be killing two birds with the one stone... women like violent men and you're making yourself more attractive, relatively. i met a blonde dude who was prettier than me not so long ago. he's not so pretty now! ha!
:
: ...and well, he wasn't really prettier than me. he just had nice hair.
FREEDO
Posts: 21,057
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12/10/2010 11:24:18 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
There is a kicking monster on top of mountain on an island inhabited by the people known as Trigs. A passing rabbi comes to the island. The Trigs warn him "Do not clime the mountain or you will be kicked by the monster atop it!" Against their warnings, he declares "I shall go confront the monster, see if he can reason with the beast!" When he climes the mountain he finds the monster but it does not kick him. He asks "why aren't you going to kick me?". The monster replies "Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trigs.
GRAND POOBAH OF DDO

fnord
m93samman
Posts: 2,685
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12/10/2010 11:53:13 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
FREEDO wins.
: At 4/15/2011 5:29:37 PM, CosmicAlfonzo wrote:
: Pascal's wager is for poosies.
:
: I mean that sincerly, because it's basically an argument from poooosie.
:
: I'm pretty sure that's like a fallacy.. Argument ad Pussium or something like that.
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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12/11/2010 1:57:23 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 12/10/2010 11:53:13 PM, m93samman wrote:
FREEDO wins.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
Zetsubou
Posts: 4,933
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12/11/2010 2:05:22 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 12/10/2010 11:24:18 PM, FREEDO wrote:
There is a kicking monster on top of mountain on an island inhabited by the people known as Trigs. A passing rabbi comes to the island. The Trigs warn him "Do not clime the mountain or you will be kicked by the monster atop it!" Against their warnings, he declares "I shall go confront the monster, see if he can reason with the beast!" When he climes the mountain he finds the monster but it does not kick him. He asks "why aren't you going to kick me?". The monster replies "Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trigs.

Don't get it.
'sup DDO -- july 2013
ChristianM
Posts: 1,764
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12/11/2010 2:13:23 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 12/11/2010 2:05:22 PM, Zetsubou wrote:
At 12/10/2010 11:24:18 PM, FREEDO wrote:
There is a kicking monster on top of mountain on an island inhabited by the people known as Trigs. A passing rabbi comes to the island. The Trigs warn him "Do not clime the mountain or you will be kicked by the monster atop it!" Against their warnings, he declares "I shall go confront the monster, see if he can reason with the beast!" When he climes the mountain he finds the monster but it does not kick him. He asks "why aren't you going to kick me?". The monster replies "Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trigs.

Don't get it.

Its a play on "Silly Rabbit, Trix are for Kids" on the Trix pudding commercials.
FREEDO
Posts: 21,057
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12/11/2010 2:15:21 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 12/11/2010 2:13:23 PM, usafkid1121 wrote:
At 12/11/2010 2:05:22 PM, Zetsubou wrote:
At 12/10/2010 11:24:18 PM, FREEDO wrote:
There is a kicking monster on top of mountain on an island inhabited by the people known as Trigs. A passing rabbi comes to the island. The Trigs warn him "Do not clime the mountain or you will be kicked by the monster atop it!" Against their warnings, he declares "I shall go confront the monster, see if he can reason with the beast!" When he climes the mountain he finds the monster but it does not kick him. He asks "why aren't you going to kick me?". The monster replies "Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trigs.

Don't get it.

Its a play on "Silly Rabbit, Trix are for Kids" on the Trix pudding commercials.

Pudding? It's a cereal, haha.
GRAND POOBAH OF DDO

fnord
ChristianM
Posts: 1,764
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12/11/2010 2:17:09 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 12/11/2010 2:15:21 PM, FREEDO wrote:
At 12/11/2010 2:13:23 PM, usafkid1121 wrote:
At 12/11/2010 2:05:22 PM, Zetsubou wrote:
At 12/10/2010 11:24:18 PM, FREEDO wrote:
There is a kicking monster on top of mountain on an island inhabited by the people known as Trigs. A passing rabbi comes to the island. The Trigs warn him "Do not clime the mountain or you will be kicked by the monster atop it!" Against their warnings, he declares "I shall go confront the monster, see if he can reason with the beast!" When he climes the mountain he finds the monster but it does not kick him. He asks "why aren't you going to kick me?". The monster replies "Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trigs.

Don't get it.

Its a play on "Silly Rabbit, Trix are for Kids" on the Trix pudding commercials.

Pudding? It's a cereal, haha.

Its a yogurt too.
Zetsubou
Posts: 4,933
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12/11/2010 2:23:44 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 12/11/2010 2:13:23 PM, usafkid1121 wrote:
At 12/11/2010 2:05:22 PM, Zetsubou wrote:
At 12/10/2010 11:24:18 PM, FREEDO wrote:
There is a kicking monster on top of mountain on an island inhabited by the people known as Trigs. A passing rabbi comes to the island. The Trigs warn him "Do not clime the mountain or you will be kicked by the monster atop it!" Against their warnings, he declares "I shall go confront the monster, see if he can reason with the beast!" When he climes the mountain he finds the monster but it does not kick him. He asks "why aren't you going to kick me?". The monster replies "Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trigs.

Don't get it.

Its a play on "Silly Rabbit, Trix are for Kids" on the Trix pudding commercials.

I see, we don't have that advert in the UK. I remember a similar term from a song by weezer though(Hash Pipe).
'sup DDO -- july 2013
SuperRobotWars
Posts: 3,906
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12/11/2010 8:18:33 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion
allowed per passenger."
Minister Of Trolling
: At 12/6/2011 2:21:41 PM, badger wrote:
: ugly people should beat beautiful people ugly. simple! you'd be killing two birds with the one stone... women like violent men and you're making yourself more attractive, relatively. i met a blonde dude who was prettier than me not so long ago. he's not so pretty now! ha!
:
: ...and well, he wasn't really prettier than me. he just had nice hair.
SuperRobotWars
Posts: 3,906
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12/11/2010 8:19:04 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't
have your kayak and heat it too.
Minister Of Trolling
: At 12/6/2011 2:21:41 PM, badger wrote:
: ugly people should beat beautiful people ugly. simple! you'd be killing two birds with the one stone... women like violent men and you're making yourself more attractive, relatively. i met a blonde dude who was prettier than me not so long ago. he's not so pretty now! ha!
:
: ...and well, he wasn't really prettier than me. he just had nice hair.
Ragnar_Rahl
Posts: 19,297
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12/11/2010 8:49:43 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 12/10/2010 11:24:18 PM, FREEDO wrote:
There is a kicking monster on top of mountain on an island inhabited by the people known as Trigs. A passing rabbi comes to the island. The Trigs warn him "Do not clime the mountain or you will be kicked by the monster atop it!" Against their warnings, he declares "I shall go confront the monster, see if he can reason with the beast!" When he climes the mountain he finds the monster but it does not kick him. He asks "why aren't you going to kick me?". The monster replies "Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trigs.

That doesn't make any sense. Should have been Trids.
It came to be at its height. It was commanded to command. It was a capital before its first stone was laid. It was a monument to the spirit of man.
SportsGuru
Posts: 1,648
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12/11/2010 10:34:34 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Welcome to the six o'clock news. I'm your anchor, Tads the way Uh Huh Uh Huh I Like It. Our top story today: famous playboy Hugh Hefner successfully managed to stop an order of monks from operating a business on his property.The police forced the friars to close down their stall, which was outside the Playboy mansion, where they had been selling flowers. Said one friar, 'Well, if it was anyone else we could've gotten away from it, but unfortunately, only Hugh can prevent florist friars."

or

Welcome to the six o'clock news. I'm your anchor, Authur Anymoredonuts. Our top story today: Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, dead at 53. I know, it is sad, over Barcelona today the famed reindeer hit by a flock of seagulls and a 747. Eyewitnesses report...that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.
Korashk
Posts: 4,597
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12/11/2010 10:38:50 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 12/11/2010 8:49:43 PM, Ragnar_Rahl wrote:
At 12/10/2010 11:24:18 PM, FREEDO wrote:
There is a kicking monster on top of mountain on an island inhabited by the people known as Trigs. A passing rabbi comes to the island. The Trigs warn him "Do not clime the mountain or you will be kicked by the monster atop it!" Against their warnings, he declares "I shall go confront the monster, see if he can reason with the beast!" When he climes the mountain he finds the monster but it does not kick him. He asks "why aren't you going to kick me?". The monster replies "Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trigs.

That doesn't make any sense. Should have been Trids.

It's also plagiarism.
When large numbers of otherwise-law abiding people break specific laws en masse, it's usually a fault that lies with the law. - Unknown
tvellalott
Posts: 10,864
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12/11/2010 10:38:57 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe and he orders eight shots of tequila. The bartender, looking strangely at him, pours a big row of them. The guy gives some kind of signal and the giraffe reachs down and starts necking these shots of tequila. Bang, bang, bang. It downs them all in about 60 seconds.
It lets at a loud burp and collapses on the floor.
The guy starts to walk out and the bartender says "Hey! What the hell are you doing? You can't leave that lying there!"

The guy turns around and says "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
"Caitlyn Jenner is an incredibly brave and stunningly beautiful woman."

Muh threads
Using mafia tactics in real-life: http://www.debate.org...
6 years of DDO: http://www.debate.org...
SportsGuru
Posts: 1,648
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12/11/2010 10:44:43 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 12/11/2010 10:34:34 PM, SportsGuru wrote:
Welcome to the six o'clock news. I'm your anchor, Tads the way Uh Huh Uh Huh I Like It. Our top story today: famous playboy Hugh Hefner successfully managed to stop an order of monks from operating a business on his property.The police forced the friars to close down their stall, which was outside the Playboy mansion, where they had been selling flowers. Said one friar, 'Well, if it was anyone else we could've gotten away from it, but unfortunately, only Hugh can prevent florist friars."

or

Welcome to the six o'clock news. I'm your anchor, Authur Anymoredonuts. Our top story today: Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, dead at 53. I know, it is sad, over Barcelona today the famed reindeer hit by a flock of seagulls and a 747. Eyewitnesses report...that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

bonus points if you know where these are from
m93samman
Posts: 2,685
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12/11/2010 10:58:34 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 12/11/2010 8:19:04 PM, SuperRobotWars wrote:
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't
have your kayak and heat it too.

I give this bonus points just because I connected with it personally; something about rejecting the whole saying about having your cake and eating it too.
: At 4/15/2011 5:29:37 PM, CosmicAlfonzo wrote:
: Pascal's wager is for poosies.
:
: I mean that sincerly, because it's basically an argument from poooosie.
:
: I'm pretty sure that's like a fallacy.. Argument ad Pussium or something like that.
SuperRobotWars
Posts: 3,906
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12/11/2010 11:07:31 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 12/11/2010 10:58:34 PM, m93samman wrote:
At 12/11/2010 8:19:04 PM, SuperRobotWars wrote:
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't
have your kayak and heat it too.

I give this bonus points just because I connected with it personally; something about rejecting the whole saying about having your cake and eating it too.

Thank you . . .
Minister Of Trolling
: At 12/6/2011 2:21:41 PM, badger wrote:
: ugly people should beat beautiful people ugly. simple! you'd be killing two birds with the one stone... women like violent men and you're making yourself more attractive, relatively. i met a blonde dude who was prettier than me not so long ago. he's not so pretty now! ha!
:
: ...and well, he wasn't really prettier than me. he just had nice hair.
SuperRobotWars
Posts: 3,906
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12/11/2010 11:18:38 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing
in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about
an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't
stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
Minister Of Trolling
: At 12/6/2011 2:21:41 PM, badger wrote:
: ugly people should beat beautiful people ugly. simple! you'd be killing two birds with the one stone... women like violent men and you're making yourself more attractive, relatively. i met a blonde dude who was prettier than me not so long ago. he's not so pretty now! ha!
:
: ...and well, he wasn't really prettier than me. he just had nice hair.
SuperRobotWars
Posts: 3,906
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12/11/2010 11:19:52 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.

When you dream in colour, it's a pigment of your imagination.

Without geometry, life is pointless.
Minister Of Trolling
: At 12/6/2011 2:21:41 PM, badger wrote:
: ugly people should beat beautiful people ugly. simple! you'd be killing two birds with the one stone... women like violent men and you're making yourself more attractive, relatively. i met a blonde dude who was prettier than me not so long ago. he's not so pretty now! ha!
:
: ...and well, he wasn't really prettier than me. he just had nice hair.
SuperRobotWars
Posts: 3,906
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12/11/2010 11:20:26 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes
to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in
Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of
himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her
husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband
responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
Minister Of Trolling
: At 12/6/2011 2:21:41 PM, badger wrote:
: ugly people should beat beautiful people ugly. simple! you'd be killing two birds with the one stone... women like violent men and you're making yourself more attractive, relatively. i met a blonde dude who was prettier than me not so long ago. he's not so pretty now! ha!
:
: ...and well, he wasn't really prettier than me. he just had nice hair.
SportsGuru
Posts: 1,648
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12/11/2010 11:24:54 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
The other day I stole something, it really was a sin
It was a little revolver made of gelatin
It was a really bad idea, something I should have slept on
'Cause I was arrested for carrying a congealed weapon.
FREEDO
Posts: 21,057
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12/11/2010 11:31:36 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Do walruses prefer Walmart or Toys-R-Us? Neither, they can have the best of both worlds at Wal-R-Us.
GRAND POOBAH OF DDO

fnord
SportsGuru
Posts: 1,648
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12/11/2010 11:53:06 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.
SuperRobotWars
Posts: 3,906
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12/12/2010 12:27:33 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.
Minister Of Trolling
: At 12/6/2011 2:21:41 PM, badger wrote:
: ugly people should beat beautiful people ugly. simple! you'd be killing two birds with the one stone... women like violent men and you're making yourself more attractive, relatively. i met a blonde dude who was prettier than me not so long ago. he's not so pretty now! ha!
:
: ...and well, he wasn't really prettier than me. he just had nice hair.
SuperRobotWars
Posts: 3,906
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12/12/2010 9:24:00 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
Minister Of Trolling
: At 12/6/2011 2:21:41 PM, badger wrote:
: ugly people should beat beautiful people ugly. simple! you'd be killing two birds with the one stone... women like violent men and you're making yourself more attractive, relatively. i met a blonde dude who was prettier than me not so long ago. he's not so pretty now! ha!
:
: ...and well, he wasn't really prettier than me. he just had nice hair.