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Perussi's Critique

Perussi
Posts: 781
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10/10/2016 11:56:21 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
Give me something and i will critique it.
Forum Record: 6/0

Funny Quotes:

"i worship satan and allahu akbar and hispanic muslims i am an illigal immigrant"
-communist_snake-

"What fuking dates are you talking about child. the and ridiculous and stay out of mummies drugs, you're fuked."
-I'll keep this anonymous...-

"fuk off bog, no one even reads your crap, what price is you hooker now?"
-same dude as above....-
illegalcombat
Posts: 632
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10/11/2016 6:33:30 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 10/10/2016 9:04:16 PM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
At 10/10/2016 11:56:21 AM, Perussi wrote:
Give me something and i will critique it.

http://www.debate.org...

Well played.
Perussi
Posts: 781
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10/11/2016 9:26:34 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 10/10/2016 9:04:16 PM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
At 10/10/2016 11:56:21 AM, Perussi wrote:
Give me something and i will critique it.

http://www.debate.org...

Nothing to see yet.
Forum Record: 6/0

Funny Quotes:

"i worship satan and allahu akbar and hispanic muslims i am an illigal immigrant"
-communist_snake-

"What fuking dates are you talking about child. the and ridiculous and stay out of mummies drugs, you're fuked."
-I'll keep this anonymous...-

"fuk off bog, no one even reads your crap, what price is you hooker now?"
-same dude as above....-
Perussi
Posts: 781
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10/11/2016 9:32:24 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 10/11/2016 2:56:37 AM, Godgirl wrote:
At 10/10/2016 11:56:21 AM, Perussi wrote:
Give me something and i will critique it.

This beautiful literary work.
https://www.fictionpress.com...

It says it was intentionally made lame...
Meh. Everyone is important butterfly and rainbows.
This warms somebody's heart but isn't that good of a story.
But diolouge was used well.
Forum Record: 6/0

Funny Quotes:

"i worship satan and allahu akbar and hispanic muslims i am an illigal immigrant"
-communist_snake-

"What fuking dates are you talking about child. the and ridiculous and stay out of mummies drugs, you're fuked."
-I'll keep this anonymous...-

"fuk off bog, no one even reads your crap, what price is you hooker now?"
-same dude as above....-
Godgirl
Posts: 500
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10/11/2016 10:31:32 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 10/11/2016 9:32:24 AM, Perussi wrote:
At 10/11/2016 2:56:37 AM, Godgirl wrote:
At 10/10/2016 11:56:21 AM, Perussi wrote:
Give me something and i will critique it.

This beautiful literary work.
https://www.fictionpress.com...

It says it was intentionally made lame...
Meh. Everyone is important butterfly and rainbows.
This warms somebody's heart but isn't that good of a story.
Yeah. It was a biology assignment to write a story that explained all the cell organelles and still have a plot. I don't think there was a way to not make it lame.
But diolouge was used well.
Thanks.