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Perussi's Critique

illegalcombat
Posts: 914
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10/11/2016 6:33:30 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 10/10/2016 9:04:16 PM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
At 10/10/2016 11:56:21 AM, Perussi wrote:
Give me something and i will critique it.

http://www.debate.org...

Well played.
Perussi
Posts: 2,019
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10/11/2016 9:26:34 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 10/10/2016 9:04:16 PM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
At 10/10/2016 11:56:21 AM, Perussi wrote:
Give me something and i will critique it.

http://www.debate.org...

Nothing to see yet.
jesus loves you

One of DDO's Sentinals
Perussi
Posts: 2,019
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10/11/2016 9:32:24 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 10/11/2016 2:56:37 AM, Godgirl wrote:
At 10/10/2016 11:56:21 AM, Perussi wrote:
Give me something and i will critique it.

This beautiful literary work.
https://www.fictionpress.com...

It says it was intentionally made lame...
Meh. Everyone is important butterfly and rainbows.
This warms somebody's heart but isn't that good of a story.
But diolouge was used well.
jesus loves you

One of DDO's Sentinals
Godgirl
Posts: 500
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10/11/2016 10:31:32 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 10/11/2016 9:32:24 AM, Perussi wrote:
At 10/11/2016 2:56:37 AM, Godgirl wrote:
At 10/10/2016 11:56:21 AM, Perussi wrote:
Give me something and i will critique it.

This beautiful literary work.
https://www.fictionpress.com...

It says it was intentionally made lame...
Meh. Everyone is important butterfly and rainbows.
This warms somebody's heart but isn't that good of a story.
Yeah. It was a biology assignment to write a story that explained all the cell organelles and still have a plot. I don't think there was a way to not make it lame.
But diolouge was used well.
Thanks.