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Dead Baby Jokes

tvellalott
Posts: 10,864
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2/9/2011 12:10:48 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
How do you fit a ten babies into a box?
A blender..

How do you get them out again?
Doritos.
"Caitlyn Jenner is an incredibly brave and stunningly beautiful woman."

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tornshoe92
Posts: 361
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2/9/2011 12:18:41 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
What's the difference between a dead baby and Helen Keller?

Nuthin'
"Next time I see a little old lady going to church I am going kick her in the ovaries because she is personally responsible for this. Thanks Izbo." -C_N
tvellalott
Posts: 10,864
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2/9/2011 12:27:08 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
Panda told me this one...

What sound does a baby in a blender make?

I don't know, I was too busy masterbating.
"Caitlyn Jenner is an incredibly brave and stunningly beautiful woman."

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askbob
Posts: 7,254
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2/9/2011 12:33:06 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby sitting next to a kid with down syndrome.
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FREEDO
Posts: 21,057
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2/9/2011 12:36:52 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
What is better than dragging babies you just raped behind a truck and burning the survivors?

............

Nothing.
GRAND POOBAH OF DDO

fnord
FREEDO
Posts: 21,057
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2/9/2011 12:37:11 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/9/2011 12:36:52 AM, FREEDO wrote:
What is better than dragging babies you just raped behind a truck and burning the survivors?

............

Nothing.

That one is so dry and creepy.
GRAND POOBAH OF DDO

fnord
xxdarkxx
Posts: 3,090
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2/9/2011 2:35:50 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
How do you get the dead babies off your porch...

Snow blower.

Whats red, stringy and hanging from trees?

Dead babies hit by a snow blower.

--------------

What's white and yellow and at the bottom of a pool?
Dead baby with slashed floaties.

What's red, white, and yellow and floating in the pool?
Floaties with a slashed baby.
badger
Posts: 11,793
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2/9/2011 5:46:28 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/9/2011 12:27:08 AM, tvellalott wrote:
Panda told me this one...

What sound does a baby in a blender make?

I don't know, I was too busy masterbating.

winner!
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Heathen
Posts: 183
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2/9/2011 10:16:53 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
What do you call it when you throw dead babies against a wall as hard as you can?

Painting.
"Once an object has been seen, it is impossible to put the mind back to the same condition it was in before it saw it." - Thomas Paine
annhasle
Posts: 6,657
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2/9/2011 12:08:10 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
How many babies does it take to paint a barn red?

Depends on how hard you throw them.
I'm not back. This idiot just upset me which made me stop lurking.
vardas0antras
Posts: 983
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2/9/2011 12:21:17 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
How do you know there's something seriously wrong with you?
You enjoy dead baby jokes. Well done !
"When he awoke in a tomb three days later he would actually have believed that he rose from the dead" FREEDO about the resurrection of Jesus Christ
vardas0antras
Posts: 983
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2/9/2011 1:03:46 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/9/2011 12:33:43 PM, darkkermit wrote:
How do you stop a baby from choking?

Put your d!ck out of its mouth.

Okay ! NOW, the line is crossed. Heck, one could verily say that you guys went too far long time ago !
"When he awoke in a tomb three days later he would actually have believed that he rose from the dead" FREEDO about the resurrection of Jesus Christ
Heathen
Posts: 183
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2/9/2011 7:40:42 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Whats worse than having sex with a dead baby?

Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
"Once an object has been seen, it is impossible to put the mind back to the same condition it was in before it saw it." - Thomas Paine
tvellalott
Posts: 10,864
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2/11/2011 5:42:06 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/9/2011 12:21:17 PM, vardas0antras wrote:
How do you know there's something seriously wrong with you?
You enjoy dead baby jokes. Well done !

ROFL.
"Caitlyn Jenner is an incredibly brave and stunningly beautiful woman."

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BlackVoid
Posts: 9,170
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2/11/2011 8:18:31 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/9/2011 1:03:46 PM, vardas0antras wrote:
At 2/9/2011 12:33:43 PM, darkkermit wrote:
How do you stop a baby from choking?

Put your d!ck out of its mouth.

Okay ! NOW, the line is crossed. Heck, one could verily say that you guys went too far long time ago !

Its just different humor. You have to admit, some of these are pretty good.
m93samman
Posts: 2,685
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2/11/2011 8:36:13 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a
sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries
down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing
a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the
window shouting to the firemen below.

FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able
to catch you.
LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here.
FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him.
LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby.

Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me
have the bullhorn."

JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco
49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby
down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living.

Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby
down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes
and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this
and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area,
fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over
the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby.
The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch.
So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two
step and then spikes the baby.
: At 4/15/2011 5:29:37 PM, CosmicAlfonzo wrote:
: Pascal's wager is for poosies.
:
: I mean that sincerly, because it's basically an argument from poooosie.
:
: I'm pretty sure that's like a fallacy.. Argument ad Pussium or something like that.
darkkermit
Posts: 11,204
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2/13/2011 1:19:15 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/11/2011 8:36:13 AM, m93samman wrote:
Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a
sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries
down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing
a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the
window shouting to the firemen below.

FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able
to catch you.
LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here.
FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him.
LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby.

Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me
have the bullhorn."

JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco
49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby
down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living.

Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby
down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes
and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this
and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area,
fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over
the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby.
The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch.
So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two
step and then spikes the baby.

I saw the ending coming but I still lol'd (literally)
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devinni01841
Posts: 1,405
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2/14/2011 11:10:06 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/9/2011 12:17:12 AM, FREEDO wrote:
What is funnier than a pile of dead babies?

The one at the bottom that's still alive.

What's worse than that?

It's eating its way out...
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