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Texas legislature fails on abortion, passes

Cermank
Posts: 3,773
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6/27/2013 10:52:25 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
masturbation bill.

Coming down to the final minute as Texas Lt. Governor David Dewhearst forced Sen. Wendy Davis to end her filibuster, the legislature was unable to pass a widely decried abortion bill. The legislature was able to accomplish another aspect of their pro-life agenda though, a ban on male masturbation.

One Texas lawmaker joyously announced after the passing of the measure, "this marks a milestone for the pro-life movement! We must protect the unborn any way we can; I"m very proud that my fellow legislators voted to protect life, even in its earliest stages!"

The new measure will go into effect on January 1, 2014 which will make many forms of male masturbation illegal. Exceptions include sperm donations, which now must only be performed at a designated hospital facility.

New rules will also require men to sign an agreement when obtaining prescription erectile dysfunction medication which indicates they will not use the medicine for any purposes other than sexual intercourse with a woman.

Amendments added to the bill also require a permit to obtain and possess male sexual toys which could be used to assist people in violating the new law.

Those found in violation of the new law could be sentenced up to two years in prison.

Many legislators who voted in favor of the bill also voted in favor of a bill debated just prior to speed up executions in the state. Legislators were hopeful they would be able to have time to pass another bill which would have nullified Obamacare, the federal legislation in which many are decrying as government getting in between people and their doctor and making healthcare decisions for people.

By: George M. Spooner
George may be contacted via email at tribuneheraldnewsatgmail.com

http://tribuneherald.net...
wrichcirw
Posts: 11,196
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6/27/2013 11:16:31 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/27/2013 10:53:02 AM, Cermank wrote:
... and apparently this is satirical.

No it is not. The next step is to outlaw a woman's period.
At 8/9/2013 9:41:24 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
If you are civil with me, I will be civil to you. If you decide to bring unreasonable animosity to bear in a reasonable discussion, then what would you expect other than to get flustered?
Cermank
Posts: 3,773
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6/27/2013 11:26:08 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/27/2013 11:16:31 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
At 6/27/2013 10:53:02 AM, Cermank wrote:
... and apparently this is satirical.

No it is not. The next step is to outlaw a woman's period.

Lol. I fell for it because they are apparently thinking of outlawing porn in some countries, so I thought the world was going for a moral ride or something.
medic0506
Posts: 13,450
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6/27/2013 2:12:48 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/27/2013 11:16:31 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
At 6/27/2013 10:53:02 AM, Cermank wrote:
... and apparently this is satirical.

No it is not. The next step is to outlaw a woman's period.

Makes sense to me. Anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die is evil.
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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6/27/2013 2:59:04 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/27/2013 10:53:02 AM, Cermank wrote:
... and apparently this is satirical.

Lol, I got through this laughing my butt off at work (namely because I was following it as it was happening, so I knew no bill had passed). I would love for that bill to pass (in some other state than mine). The protests would be epic. 100,000 men marching on the capital and jacking it off on the capital steps in rebellion of the law.
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
xXCryptoXx
Posts: 5,000
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6/27/2013 3:11:42 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/27/2013 2:59:04 PM, Ore_Ele wrote:
At 6/27/2013 10:53:02 AM, Cermank wrote:
... and apparently this is satirical.

Lol, I got through this laughing my butt off at work (namely because I was following it as it was happening, so I knew no bill had passed). I would love for that bill to pass (in some other state than mine). The protests would be epic. 100,000 men marching on the capital and jacking it off on the capital steps in rebellion of the law.

LOL.
Nolite Timere
sadolite
Posts: 8,839
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6/27/2013 6:16:46 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Doesn't it suck when 6 month old fetus's cant be aborted. What's this world coming to. It's like we have no moral compass.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%
Cermank
Posts: 3,773
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6/27/2013 10:09:47 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/27/2013 6:16:46 PM, sadolite wrote:
Doesn't it suck when 6 month old fetus's cant be aborted. What's this world coming to. It's like we have no moral compass.

Doesn't it suck when a child is forced to be born to parents who never wanted it, and had him only because the government said so?
Cermank
Posts: 3,773
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6/27/2013 10:11:16 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/27/2013 2:59:04 PM, Ore_Ele wrote:
At 6/27/2013 10:53:02 AM, Cermank wrote:
... and apparently this is satirical.

Lol, I got through this laughing my butt off at work (namely because I was following it as it was happening, so I knew no bill had passed). I would love for that bill to pass (in some other state than mine). The protests would be epic. 100,000 men marching on the capital and jacking it off on the capital steps in rebellion of the law.

Wait... Is there actually an anti abortion bill?
Cermank
Posts: 3,773
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6/27/2013 10:13:07 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/27/2013 10:11:16 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 6/27/2013 2:59:04 PM, Ore_Ele wrote:
At 6/27/2013 10:53:02 AM, Cermank wrote:
... and apparently this is satirical.

Lol, I got through this laughing my butt off at work (namely because I was following it as it was happening, so I knew no bill had passed). I would love for that bill to pass (in some other state than mine). The protests would be epic. 100,000 men marching on the capital and jacking it off on the capital steps in rebellion of the law.

Wait... Is there actually an anti abortion bill?

*an anti masturbation bill.
wrichcirw
Posts: 11,196
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6/28/2013 12:44:54 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/27/2013 10:13:07 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 6/27/2013 10:11:16 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 6/27/2013 2:59:04 PM, Ore_Ele wrote:
At 6/27/2013 10:53:02 AM, Cermank wrote:
... and apparently this is satirical.

Lol, I got through this laughing my butt off at work (namely because I was following it as it was happening, so I knew no bill had passed). I would love for that bill to pass (in some other state than mine). The protests would be epic. 100,000 men marching on the capital and jacking it off on the capital steps in rebellion of the law.

Wait... Is there actually an anti abortion bill?

*an anti masturbation bill.

lol
At 8/9/2013 9:41:24 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
If you are civil with me, I will be civil to you. If you decide to bring unreasonable animosity to bear in a reasonable discussion, then what would you expect other than to get flustered?
wrichcirw
Posts: 11,196
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6/28/2013 12:45:24 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/28/2013 12:44:54 PM, wrichcirw wrote:
At 6/27/2013 10:13:07 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 6/27/2013 10:11:16 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 6/27/2013 2:59:04 PM, Ore_Ele wrote:
At 6/27/2013 10:53:02 AM, Cermank wrote:
... and apparently this is satirical.

Lol, I got through this laughing my butt off at work (namely because I was following it as it was happening, so I knew no bill had passed). I would love for that bill to pass (in some other state than mine). The protests would be epic. 100,000 men marching on the capital and jacking it off on the capital steps in rebellion of the law.

Wait... Is there actually an anti abortion bill?

*an anti masturbation bill.

lol

rofl...still laughing. =P
At 8/9/2013 9:41:24 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
If you are civil with me, I will be civil to you. If you decide to bring unreasonable animosity to bear in a reasonable discussion, then what would you expect other than to get flustered?
dylancatlow
Posts: 12,251
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6/28/2013 1:09:18 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/28/2013 1:08:30 PM, Cermank wrote:
Oh em gee. There IS an anti masturbation amendment in an anti abortion bill introduced in okhalama last year. Dear god.

http://nation.foxnews.com...

How on earth is that even remotely enforceable?
Cermank
Posts: 3,773
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6/28/2013 1:12:45 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/28/2013 1:09:18 PM, dylancatlow wrote:
At 6/28/2013 1:08:30 PM, Cermank wrote:
Oh em gee. There IS an anti masturbation amendment in an anti abortion bill introduced in okhalama last year. Dear god.

http://nation.foxnews.com...

How on earth is that even remotely enforceable?

NSA. Their clutches are deeper than you thought.
drafterman
Posts: 18,870
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6/28/2013 1:14:51 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/28/2013 1:08:30 PM, Cermank wrote:
Oh em gee. There IS an anti masturbation amendment in an anti abortion bill introduced in okhalama last year. Dear god.

http://nation.foxnews.com...
Cermank
Posts: 3,773
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6/28/2013 1:26:44 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/28/2013 1:19:26 PM, darkkermit wrote:
Anybody find it interesting that it was only male sex toys that are banned. Feminism strikes again.

That was because male masterbation leads to loss of potential life. Obviously.
dylancatlow
Posts: 12,251
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6/28/2013 1:28:47 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/28/2013 1:26:44 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 6/28/2013 1:19:26 PM, darkkermit wrote:
Anybody find it interesting that it was only male sex toys that are banned. Feminism strikes again.

That was because male masterbation leads to loss of potential life. Obviously.

160 million problems but a bitch ain't one. lol.
ClassicRobert
Posts: 2,487
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6/28/2013 1:31:33 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Well it seems like the only life preserving bill we have left would be one banning periods. Women, stop having periods. You're killing a little person each month, and that's so not cool.
Debate me: Economic decision theory should be adjusted to include higher-order preferences for non-normative purposes http://www.debate.org...

Do you really believe that? Or not? If you believe it, you should man up and defend it in a debate. -RoyLatham

My Pet Fish is such a Douche- NiamC

It's an app to meet friends and stuff, sort of like an adult club penguin- Thett3, describing Tinder
dylancatlow
Posts: 12,251
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6/28/2013 1:36:39 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Serious question: if male masturbation is immoral because it kills potential life, then how is attempting to get pregnant justified when all but one sperm will die in the process? How does one life justify the deaths of a hundred million others?
Cermank
Posts: 3,773
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6/28/2013 1:38:23 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/28/2013 1:31:33 PM, ClassicRobert wrote:
Well it seems like the only life preserving bill we have left would be one banning periods. Women, stop having periods. You're killing a little person each month, and that's so not cool.

A woman has period only because a sperm didn't fertilise her egg. So preserving every potential life would require mandatory mating once a month. Maybe even legislation of prostitution to make it viable.
ClassicRobert
Posts: 2,487
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6/28/2013 1:40:26 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/28/2013 1:36:39 PM, dylancatlow wrote:
Serious question: if male masturbation is immoral because it kills potential life, then how is attempting to get pregnant justified when all but one sperm will die in the process? How does one life justify the deaths of a hundred million others?

The answer to that is we need millions of concubines.
Debate me: Economic decision theory should be adjusted to include higher-order preferences for non-normative purposes http://www.debate.org...

Do you really believe that? Or not? If you believe it, you should man up and defend it in a debate. -RoyLatham

My Pet Fish is such a Douche- NiamC

It's an app to meet friends and stuff, sort of like an adult club penguin- Thett3, describing Tinder
ClassicRobert
Posts: 2,487
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6/28/2013 1:43:11 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/28/2013 1:38:23 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 6/28/2013 1:31:33 PM, ClassicRobert wrote:
Well it seems like the only life preserving bill we have left would be one banning periods. Women, stop having periods. You're killing a little person each month, and that's so not cool.

A woman has period only because a sperm didn't fertilise her egg. So preserving every potential life would require mandatory mating once a month. Maybe even legislation of prostitution to make it viable.

So, simply put, women are now baby-making machines, for the sake of preserving life. Logic.
Debate me: Economic decision theory should be adjusted to include higher-order preferences for non-normative purposes http://www.debate.org...

Do you really believe that? Or not? If you believe it, you should man up and defend it in a debate. -RoyLatham

My Pet Fish is such a Douche- NiamC

It's an app to meet friends and stuff, sort of like an adult club penguin- Thett3, describing Tinder
Cermank
Posts: 3,773
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6/28/2013 1:46:16 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/28/2013 1:43:11 PM, ClassicRobert wrote:
At 6/28/2013 1:38:23 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 6/28/2013 1:31:33 PM, ClassicRobert wrote:
Well it seems like the only life preserving bill we have left would be one banning periods. Women, stop having periods. You're killing a little person each month, and that's so not cool.

A woman has period only because a sperm didn't fertilise her egg. So preserving every potential life would require mandatory mating once a month. Maybe even legislation of prostitution to make it viable.

So, simply put, women are now baby-making machines, for the sake of preserving life. Logic.

I wonder how the parliamentary meet went, while introducing tbis amendment :-P
dylancatlow
Posts: 12,251
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6/28/2013 1:46:22 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/28/2013 1:43:11 PM, ClassicRobert wrote:
At 6/28/2013 1:38:23 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 6/28/2013 1:31:33 PM, ClassicRobert wrote:
Well it seems like the only life preserving bill we have left would be one banning periods. Women, stop having periods. You're killing a little person each month, and that's so not cool.

A woman has period only because a sperm didn't fertilise her egg. So preserving every potential life would require mandatory mating once a month. Maybe even legislation of prostitution to make it viable.

So, simply put, women are now baby-making machines, for the sake of preserving life. Logic.

Well...not JUST. They get to make sandwiches for their impregnators and speak when spoken to.
sadolite
Posts: 8,839
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6/28/2013 2:09:44 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/27/2013 10:09:47 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 6/27/2013 6:16:46 PM, sadolite wrote:
Doesn't it suck when 6 month old fetus's cant be aborted. What's this world coming to. It's like we have no moral compass.

Doesn't it suck when a child is forced to be born to parents who never wanted it, and had him only because the government said so?

At least the child could have had fun sometimes instead of being a ground up pile of guts and flesh.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%