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Is It a Good Idea to Live With Roommates?

GeoLaureate8
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2/12/2011 2:41:18 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
I'm going to be moving out soon (that is, if I get my promotion when expected), but both of my parents advise against living with roommates. The reasons being that we'd get on eachothers nerves and have issues with habits and stuff. However, the people that I thought of rooming with, I already know that they have good habits because they used to live in a dorm together and I would stay over there a lot.

(Though, they ended up having to leave the dorms because a girl peaked in their dorm during a party and saw a grenade on their shelf and she snitched, and one of them got arrested, thrown in jail, made the news, and got expelled. They found gun powder, shells, and other explosive material under the bed. He got off the hook though cause authorities finally realized that they're both filmmakers and use it for special effects. But I digress.)

Anyways, at this point, I'm likely going to buy a highrise luxury condo overlooking the Vegas Strip, but I'd imagine it'd get kinda lonely in there with no family and no roommates living there.

What do you think?
"We must raise the standard of the Old, free, decentralized, and strictly limited Republic."
-- Murray Rothbard

"The worst thing that can happen to a good cause is, not to be skillfully attacked, but to be ineptly defended."
-- Frederic Bastiat
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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2/12/2011 2:55:03 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
I prefer roommates. Living with people is awesome so long as they're considerate and respectful. Nobody wants roommates who are dirty, troublesome, obnoxious, rude or irresponsible (with bills and stuff). If you know the people you'd live with beforehand, and have seen that they don't live like crazy slobs, then you'd probably have most fun living with friends. It helps your social life a lot because you increase your circles. You also find yourself hanging out with people on nights you'd otherwise be home alone. Best of all you get some help with expenses. Just remember to be up front and confrontational right off the bat so that it doesn't become awkward if something does ever need to be addressed.

Making sure you have personal space is important. For instance, "The food in this drawer is mine and you can have this drawer..." It doesn't mean you can't share; it simply establishes boundaries. Also are you renting or buying? You said buy. Buying is more of a commitment and I know if I bought something I'd want it all for myself/partner. However if you're renting a condo then I'd say roomies in Vegas can be fun. It's only a 1 year lease (that you could break if need-be) and if you don't like it then you can always get your own place the following year.
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badger
Posts: 11,793
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2/12/2011 2:57:03 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/12/2011 2:41:18 PM, GeoLaureate8 wrote:
I'm going to be moving out soon (that is, if I get my promotion when expected), but both of my parents advise against living with roommates. The reasons being that we'd get on eachothers nerves and have issues with habits and stuff. However, the people that I thought of rooming with, I already know that they have good habits because they used to live in a dorm together and I would stay over there a lot.

(Though, they ended up having to leave the dorms because a girl peaked in their dorm during a party and saw a grenade on their shelf and she snitched, and one of them got arrested, thrown in jail, made the news, and got expelled. They found gun powder, shells, and other explosive material under the bed. He got off the hook though cause authorities finally realized that they're both filmmakers and use it for special effects. But I digress.)

Anyways, at this point, I'm likely going to buy a highrise luxury condo overlooking the Vegas Strip, but I'd imagine it'd get kinda lonely in there with no family and no roommates living there.

What do you think?

i'm just finished a college phase of my apprenticeship there friday, during which i was living with another fella in my class, which was only arranged on the first day we started there, and we'd talked i'd say only once or twice prior to that and knew hardly anything about each other... he's a legend! i'mma miss living with him..and i'm after making one of my best friends i'd say.. you might be landed with an arsehole though...
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Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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2/12/2011 3:00:17 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Actually scratch that. I definitely prefer roommates. If I were you I'd definitely choose to live with people. If you wanna go out one night, you just ask one of your roomies. If you wanna stay in and get schwasted, you ask a roomie. I've had some of the best times of my life with roomies over the past 5 years lol GO ROOMIES!
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m93samman
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2/12/2011 3:09:30 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Having a roommate that is random has the potential to be substantially worse than not having one; having a roommate you personally know and choose is definitely better than not having a roommate.

That's just my experience.
: At 4/15/2011 5:29:37 PM, CosmicAlfonzo wrote:
: Pascal's wager is for poosies.
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lewis20
Posts: 5,093
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2/12/2011 3:09:42 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Do it, you just have to get past little things to live with a room mate and most stuff you might get mad about you forget about by the next day. Most girls on the other hand I know have a lot more trouble with room mates for some reason. Not all girls obviously just more of them ha
Also, it does get really depressing/boring to live by yourself.
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PARADIGM_L0ST
Posts: 6,958
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2/12/2011 3:13:38 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
I would prefer to live alone, but I'm very autonomous and like my privacy. Some people are far too extroverted to be alone, and they need constant attention.

The way I look at it is, if you're lonely then invite friends over during those times. That way you get to control when and who comes over and when they leave, versus this guy who is always there and you can't escape him. I've met people that I really liked.... until I roomed with them. Sometimes rooming with people can ruin an otherwise perfectly good friendship.

Of course, it may be more economically advantageous for you to get a roommate, so in the event of that make sure you pick your roommates wisely. You don't want the kind of drama rooming with people who are disrespectful, slovenly, don't pay rent on time, etc, etc. Because once your name is down on a lease with these people, their shitty actions just became your legal obligation.

If you can avoid rooming with people.... avoid it. If you're lonely, invite people over. It's that simple. And when no one is there, walk around your glorious apartment butt naked. Why? Because you can. Enjoy your freedom. Once wife and kids come, you're never alone.... Ever... Enjoy being a bachelor while it lasts.
"Have you ever considered suicide? If not, please do." -- Mouthwash (to Inferno)
I-am-a-panda
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2/12/2011 3:20:46 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
My own experience of having family as room mates is a bad one. Though if I strike out on my own I expect to have room mates for at least a few years for financial reasons.
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InsertNameHere
Posts: 15,699
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2/12/2011 3:25:33 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
I don't know from personal experience, but I have heard from other people that living with friends really isn't as great as it seems. I know of people who have done that, moved in with their best friend and ended up hating each other afterwards.
TheAtheistAllegiance
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2/12/2011 3:25:53 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
I've only lived with a friend once, and it was for a very short period of time, but it wasn't that bad. It was just kinda weird sometimes because I enjoy being alone a lot, and he would always lurk around and just watch me play Xbox and stuff. But, I would imagine that deciding to room with your friends would be the better decision in your case. You only live once, so embrace the possible fun you could be having; that's my opinion anyway..
PARADIGM_L0ST
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2/12/2011 3:25:54 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Oh, yeah, that's another thing. Say you're on a date and want to take the girl back to your apartment. When your roommate is 2 feet away and the walls are paper thin, she's not gonna want to get with you. She's going to feel embarrassed and it's going to kill the mood.

Or worse, lets say he brought someone home, and you walk up to your own door... You see a tie hanging from the doorknob, signaling you that he's getting laid and for you not to come in.

So you're outside, it's nighttime, and you have to figure out somewhere to go just to accommodate him for who knows how long.

Trust me, dude, it's going to get annoying. IF you can avoid it, avoid it. If not, make damn sure you're picking the right person.
"Have you ever considered suicide? If not, please do." -- Mouthwash (to Inferno)
TheAtheistAllegiance
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2/12/2011 3:27:43 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/12/2011 3:25:54 PM, PARADIGM_L0ST wrote:
Oh, yeah, that's another thing. Say you're on a date and want to take the girl back to your apartment. When your roommate is 2 feet away and the walls are paper thin, she's not gonna want to get with you. She's going to feel embarrassed and it's going to kill the mood.

Or worse, lets say he brought someone home, and you walk up to your own door... You see a tie hanging from the doorknob, signaling you that he's getting laid and for you not to come in.

So you're outside, it's nighttime, and you have to figure out somewhere to go just to accommodate him for who knows how long.

Trust me, dude, it's going to get annoying. IF you can avoid it, avoid it. If not, make damn sure you're picking the right person.

Yeah, this could be another problem. It might be hard to find windows of opportunity to have sex in privacy.
PARADIGM_L0ST
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2/12/2011 3:30:22 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Yeah, this could be another problem. It might be hard to find windows of opportunity to have sex in privacy.:

Yep. Why would anyone want roommates, anyway? It just seems like it's a necessary evil. I don't know, maybe it's because I'm an introvert, but I just don't understand the fascination.
"Have you ever considered suicide? If not, please do." -- Mouthwash (to Inferno)
GeoLaureate8
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2/12/2011 3:40:51 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/12/2011 3:25:54 PM, PARADIGM_L0ST wrote:
Oh, yeah, that's another thing. Say you're on a date and want to take the girl back to your apartment. When your roommate is 2 feet away and the walls are paper thin, she's not gonna want to get with you. She's going to feel embarrassed and it's going to kill the mood.

The walls are sound proof.

Or worse, lets say he brought someone home, and you walk up to your own door... You see a tie hanging from the doorknob, signaling you that he's getting laid and for you not to come in.

There will be at least two bedrooms.

So you're outside, it's nighttime, and you have to figure out somewhere to go just to accommodate him for who knows how long.

Haha, I doubt it. My other 3 friends live in an apartment together and he'll take his girl to room, we can even hear her, he'll come out the room for a gaterade and say what's up, lol. I don't think it's a problem. My other friend lived with a dormmate who was doing a girl in the bed right next to him.
"We must raise the standard of the Old, free, decentralized, and strictly limited Republic."
-- Murray Rothbard

"The worst thing that can happen to a good cause is, not to be skillfully attacked, but to be ineptly defended."
-- Frederic Bastiat
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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2/12/2011 3:45:22 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/12/2011 3:30:22 PM, PARADIGM_L0ST wrote:
Yep. Why would anyone want roommates, anyway? It just seems like it's a necessary evil. I don't know, maybe it's because I'm an introvert, but I just don't understand the fascination.

That's probably why. This year we lived without a roommate and then chose to have one specifically because I wanted a roommate lol. I like living with people. I'm also an ENTP personality-type (and I know 95% of users here are I's because they're introverts). I like when my roommate's around. She spends time at her boyfriend's house a lot but when she's here we like to hang out, smoke a lot of pot and philosophize a sh!t ton, cook together, bullsh!t and watch TV, etc.

When she has people over, I can usually choose if I wanna hang out with them or not so I can choose to have my alone time or I can choose to be social since they're usually in the living room and not in a bedroom. I've met a bunch of people through her and strengthened some of my acquaintance relationships because of her.

In the past it's been like 2AM and my roomies have come with my on slurpie runs. There have been times we got snowed in and we said fvck it -- let's drink and just cozied inside with our buddies. There have been times I was locked out or needed to jump start my car and my roomies helped out. There have been times I've gone through break-ups and I knew there'd be someone at home to talk to. It's like a sleep-over with friends except you get your own space so you're not, like, on top of each other 24/7. You still get your private bedroom so it doesn't interfere with nookie and you still get alone time, to have your own space to set up as your own and retreat to, etc. Plus there's the economic benefits as I said.
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Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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2/12/2011 3:49:24 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/12/2011 3:40:51 PM, GeoLaureate8 wrote:
My other 3 friends live in an apartment together and he'll take his girl to room, we can even hear her, he'll come out the room for a gaterade and say what's up, lol. I don't think it's a problem. My other friend lived with a dormmate who was doing a girl in the bed right next to him.

I don't usually have sex when my roommate's home. It's either in the morning while she's still asleep, during the day while she's at class or at night when she's not home since she spends about 3 nights per week at her boyfriend's place. Like I said, considerate roomies will work something out. Freshman year I got into a HUGE fight with my roomie about sex schedules because every time she tried to come in the chain lock would always be on the door LOL she was pissed (of course it's because she was a jealous lesbo virgin but I digress). Since then I've been a lot more considerate. People can be quiet or just learn to deal lol seriously it's a fact of life. I mean nothing will compare to living in the dorms! I don't think I can remember a day going by without hearing someone in the dorms getting it on. Now that we're older and in our 20s I think people can be mature about it... at least I hope so. I dunno how mature guys can manage to be :P
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innomen
Posts: 10,052
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2/12/2011 5:38:03 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/12/2011 3:30:22 PM, PARADIGM_L0ST wrote:
Yeah, this could be another problem. It might be hard to find windows of opportunity to have sex in privacy.:

Yep. Why would anyone want roommates, anyway? It just seems like it's a necessary evil. I don't know, maybe it's because I'm an introvert, but I just don't understand the fascination.

Exactly, if you can avoid it - avoid it. You're not in college, and if you like sex, trust me you won't want roommates, or would your roommates want you. Kripes i live with my partner and there are times i wish i lived alone. - really trusting he doesn't decide to log on and read my recent posts.
GeoLaureate8
Posts: 12,252
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2/12/2011 6:49:30 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/12/2011 5:38:03 PM, innomen wrote:
At 2/12/2011 3:30:22 PM, PARADIGM_L0ST wrote:
Yeah, this could be another problem. It might be hard to find windows of opportunity to have sex in privacy.:

Yep. Why would anyone want roommates, anyway? It just seems like it's a necessary evil. I don't know, maybe it's because I'm an introvert, but I just don't understand the fascination.

Exactly, if you can avoid it - avoid it. You're not in college, and if you like sex, trust me you won't want roommates, or would your roommates want you. Kripes i live with my partner and there are times i wish i lived alone.


Why? I lived my whole life with people, why would I have new problems living with other people?
"We must raise the standard of the Old, free, decentralized, and strictly limited Republic."
-- Murray Rothbard

"The worst thing that can happen to a good cause is, not to be skillfully attacked, but to be ineptly defended."
-- Frederic Bastiat
innomen
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2/12/2011 7:45:10 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/12/2011 6:49:30 PM, GeoLaureate8 wrote:
At 2/12/2011 5:38:03 PM, innomen wrote:
At 2/12/2011 3:30:22 PM, PARADIGM_L0ST wrote:
Yeah, this could be another problem. It might be hard to find windows of opportunity to have sex in privacy.:

Yep. Why would anyone want roommates, anyway? It just seems like it's a necessary evil. I don't know, maybe it's because I'm an introvert, but I just don't understand the fascination.

Exactly, if you can avoid it - avoid it. You're not in college, and if you like sex, trust me you won't want roommates, or would your roommates want you. Kripes i live with my partner and there are times i wish i lived alone.


Why? I lived my whole life with people, why would I have new problems living with other people?

Maybe you'd be fine with it, but i crave a place to myself, and i also remember having a roommate that had a boyfriend, where 2 of us were quickly 3 of us, but since he didn't officially live with us i just had to share more. I like my place, even if i am renting, and i really like to be able to have more freedom in my sexual conduct than than less. You need to be considerate and not monopolize the common areas. I dunno, i just like having my own place, more freedom is better than less for me, and any compromise that you are required to make for a roommate is less freedom. I'm betting if you go to your own place, you will not want to ever go back to roommates unless you must.
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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2/12/2011 8:03:55 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/12/2011 7:45:10 PM, innomen wrote:
I'm betting if you go to your own place, you will not want to ever go back to roommates unless you must.

Turned out opposite for me. I've lived alone and then decided I wanted to live with a roommate again. To each his own! I think you're obsessing a little bit about the privacy/sex issue. Your roommate isn't home 24/7. Hopefully they work and/or go to school, and have a life of their own outside the apartment. Maybe it's different with girls because we're a lot more sociable with one another. I don't get mad if my roommate is in the common area -- I simply join her!
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innomen
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2/12/2011 8:08:42 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/12/2011 8:03:55 PM, theLwerd wrote:
At 2/12/2011 7:45:10 PM, innomen wrote:
I'm betting if you go to your own place, you will not want to ever go back to roommates unless you must.

Turned out opposite for me. I've lived alone and then decided I wanted to live with a roommate again. To each his own! I think you're obsessing a little bit about the privacy/sex issue. Your roommate isn't home 24/7. Hopefully they work and/or go to school, and have a life of their own outside the apartment. Maybe it's different with girls because we're a lot more sociable with one another. I don't get mad if my roommate is in the common area -- I simply join her!

That very well may be true, i crave solitude probably a bit more than others, and sometimes don't want to be around people at all. I am also, yeah, pretty discrete with my sexual activity with my partners.
GeoLaureate8
Posts: 12,252
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2/12/2011 8:14:41 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
@innomen

So I dont get it. The partner you live with lets you be promiscuous/polygamous???
"We must raise the standard of the Old, free, decentralized, and strictly limited Republic."
-- Murray Rothbard

"The worst thing that can happen to a good cause is, not to be skillfully attacked, but to be ineptly defended."
-- Frederic Bastiat
Danielle
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2/12/2011 8:19:56 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/12/2011 8:08:42 PM, innomen wrote:
That very well may be true, i crave solitude probably a bit more than others, and sometimes don't want to be around people at all.

Then you can go in your room ;D

I am also, yeah, pretty discrete with my sexual activity with my partners.

Yeah I see what you mean. But see I live with a friend (and Geo implied he knows the people he'd be living with fairly well). My friend and I talk about our sex lives all the time lol. When her bf comes over I usually go walk the dog for a half hour... between friends there's that unspoken consideration. She knew to stay at her bf's house the night of my anniversary. If say we had some crazy plans, I'd be like "Yo Christina just so you know, this is going down later..." or I'd ask her to stay at her bf's place. I mean yeah living with just a roommate blows, but living with a friend can be awesome :)
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juvanya
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2/12/2011 8:23:07 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/12/2011 2:57:51 PM, badger wrote:
and if you do get an arsehole, just move.

This, or force him out.

Be warned tho, if you stay with a friend, you could eventually get annoyed by them. after a year or two. Altho it depends if you are literally roommates, or flatmates/housemates.
innomen
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2/12/2011 8:24:33 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/12/2011 8:19:56 PM, theLwerd wrote:
At 2/12/2011 8:08:42 PM, innomen wrote:
That very well may be true, i crave solitude probably a bit more than others, and sometimes don't want to be around people at all.

Then you can go in your room ;D

I did, and i felt like i was in a prison cell for 9 months. My roommate and i weren't really friends, just sort of cordial to each other.

I am also, yeah, pretty discrete with my sexual activity with my partners.

Yeah I see what you mean. But see I live with a friend (and Geo implied he knows the people he'd be living with fairly well). My friend and I talk about our sex lives all the time lol. When her bf comes over I usually go walk the dog for a half hour... between friends there's that unspoken consideration. She knew to stay at her bf's house the night of my anniversary. If say we had some crazy plans, I'd be like "Yo Christina just so you know, this is going down later..." or I'd ask her to stay at her bf's place. I mean yeah living with just a roommate blows, but living with a friend can be awesome :)
It is different, but i still like my own place just because i like it that way.
Danielle
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2/12/2011 8:30:04 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/12/2011 8:24:33 PM, innomen wrote:
It is different, but i still like my own place just because i like it that way.

Yeah, I can see that. But meh Geo is also going to be leading a very different lifestyle than you do. He's not gonna go to work and live with a long-term partner so stay home and make dinner every night and waking up at 4am. He's living by the Vegas strip... he's probably going to be coming home at 4am. At least some nights. He's 22 and single :) He's definitely gonna want some buddies to live with... in my opinion. But yeah to each his own. I'm sure once I start settling down I'm definitely gonna want/need my own place. Fo sho.
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Ragnar_Rahl
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2/13/2011 1:57:48 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
Roomie works fine for me, no annoying habits. Suitemates are noisy but we have thick walls so who cares, can't hear their speakers at full blast unless the bathroom door is open, roomie is another nerd, and somehow I ended up with a classical liberal instead of a modern liberal for a roomie, in Bellingham WA no less, what are the odds.

(He calls himself a libertarian, I'm just tactful enough not to cast semanticaga).
It came to be at its height. It was commanded to command. It was a capital before its first stone was laid. It was a monument to the spirit of man.
Ragnar_Rahl
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2/13/2011 2:01:01 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
Although the only actual REASON TO HAVE ONE I can contemplate is costs. I do after all carefully plan out his absence for cougar tiem on the interwebz.
It came to be at its height. It was commanded to command. It was a capital before its first stone was laid. It was a monument to the spirit of man.
belle
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2/13/2011 2:01:11 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/12/2011 8:30:04 PM, theLwerd wrote:
At 2/12/2011 8:24:33 PM, innomen wrote:
It is different, but i still like my own place just because i like it that way.

Yeah, I can see that. But meh Geo is also going to be leading a very different lifestyle than you do. He's not gonna go to work and live with a long-term partner so stay home and make dinner every night and waking up at 4am. He's living by the Vegas strip... he's probably going to be coming home at 4am. At least some nights. He's 22 and single :) He's definitely gonna want some buddies to live with... in my opinion. But yeah to each his own. I'm sure once I start settling down I'm definitely gonna want/need my own place. Fo sho.

i used to go out and get wasted and party almost every night but still would have preferred to live alone. sometimes having another person around, even someone you like, is just irritating. such is the life of an introvert lol. partying is different because if you don't like it you can just leave. its not like you can kick your roommate out of the apartment so you can have personal space...

dunno whether geo would feel that way though so *shrugs*
evidently i only come to ddo to avoid doing homework...