Total Posts:28|Showing Posts:1-26
Jump to topic:

Chat up lines

brian_eggleston
Posts: 3,347
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/25/2011 5:43:17 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
Here's one that could work:

You are with your mates down the pub and you spy a nice bit of crackling over the other side of room and you point to her and say to your pals "Phoar! I wouldn't mind hanging out of the back of that!"

But instead of going over to chat her up, beckon her over with your finger. Eventually, curiosity will get the better of her and she'll walk over to you to find out what you want and when she arrives, you turn to your friends and say "See, I told you I could make her come with just one finger!"

And here's one that probably won't:

You are in the Casino Royale, Monte Carlo when your eyes are inexorably drawn to a stunning blonde in a little black cocktail dress playing baccarat so you go over to her and say "Hello darling, if you fancy a bite to eat you can get your gob around my cock in a burger bun if you like - now that's what you call a quarter-pounder with cheese!"
Visit the burglars' bulletin board: http://www.break-in-news.com...
askbob
Posts: 7,254
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/25/2011 8:35:08 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
Sitting in back of car with friend
Music loud in front and it's night

Me: I have a question for you

Her: Uh ok?

Me: If you were a pirate, would you put your parrot on this shoulder (place hand on shoulder closest to me) or this shoulder (place hand around her back on shoulder farthest from me and let laugh)

Her: (Laughs but lets me keep hand)

Been together for four years now
Me -Phil left the site in my charge. I have a recorded phone conversation to prove it.
kohai -If you're the owner, then do something useful like ip block him and get us away from juggle and on a dofferent host!
Me -haha you apparently don't know my history
Kohai - Maybe not, but that doesn't matter! You shoukd still listen to your community and quit being a tyrrant!
Me - i was being completely sarcastic
Kohai - then u misrepresented yourself by impersonating the owner—a violation of the tos
Cody_Franklin
Posts: 9,483
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/25/2011 8:42:55 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/25/2011 8:35:08 AM, askbob wrote:
Sitting in back of car with friend
Music loud in front and it's night

Me: I have a question for you

Her: Uh ok?

Me: If you were a pirate, would you put your parrot on this shoulder (place hand on shoulder closest to me) or this shoulder (place hand around her back on shoulder farthest from me and let laugh)

Her: (Laughs but lets me keep hand)

Been together for four years now

I'm going to try that one out for giggles.
I-am-a-panda
Posts: 15,380
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/25/2011 6:42:06 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Me: How much does a polar bear weigh?

Girl: I don't know.

Me: Enough to break the ice. Hi, I'm Gary,
Pizza. I have enormous respect for Pizza.
rogue
Posts: 2,325
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/25/2011 8:32:59 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Hey babe, I'm like a rubiks cube, the more you play with me the harder I get ;)

If I flip this coin what are the chances of me getting head? ;)
nonentity
Posts: 5,008
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/25/2011 11:43:04 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/25/2011 11:13:39 PM, ccstate4peat wrote:
If I asked you to sleep with me, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this?

Answer: go fvck yourself :p
tvellalott
Posts: 10,864
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/25/2011 11:46:12 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/25/2011 11:43:04 PM, nonentity wrote:
At 2/25/2011 11:13:39 PM, ccstate4peat wrote:
If I asked you to sleep with me, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this?

Answer: go fvck yourself :p

LOL

"They say you are what you eat; if that's true, tomorrow I'll be you."
"Caitlyn Jenner is an incredibly brave and stunningly beautiful woman."

Muh threads
Using mafia tactics in real-life: http://www.debate.org...
6 years of DDO: http://www.debate.org...
gavin.ogden
Posts: 1,729
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/25/2011 11:46:38 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/25/2011 11:43:04 PM, nonentity wrote:
At 2/25/2011 11:13:39 PM, ccstate4peat wrote:
If I asked you to sleep with me, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this?

Answer: go fvck yourself :p

This is a woman!
nonentity
Posts: 5,008
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/25/2011 11:50:09 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/25/2011 11:46:12 PM, tvellalott wrote:

"They say you are what you eat; if that's true, tomorrow I'll be you."

Haha

I'd like to put my basilisk in your chamber of secrets.
PrimoVictoria
Posts: 38
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/25/2011 11:57:21 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/25/2011 11:50:09 PM, nonentity wrote:
At 2/25/2011 11:46:12 PM, tvellalott wrote:

"They say you are what you eat; if that's true, tomorrow I'll be you."

Haha

I'd like to put my basilisk in your chamber of secrets.

Disturbing image.
badger
Posts: 11,793
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/26/2011 12:32:54 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
obviously.. can i buy you a drink?

nah i'm joking.. women are easy though :) just stare at 'em for a minute then go over and tell them they're pretty.. easy..

also..

you're ugly.. but you intrigue me.

your eyes are like spanners. everytime you look at me my nuts tighten..

and that's all i got besides the puffy ones and the ones that are just fairly filthy..
signature
tvellalott
Posts: 10,864
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/26/2011 12:36:08 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
I generally start by asking their opinion on a fictional situation.
Also, approach immediately, especially on eye contact.
"Caitlyn Jenner is an incredibly brave and stunningly beautiful woman."

Muh threads
Using mafia tactics in real-life: http://www.debate.org...
6 years of DDO: http://www.debate.org...
CosmicAlfonzo
Posts: 5,955
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/26/2011 2:13:52 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
I already get the attention of too many women.

Very rarely do I find any of them interesting in the slightest. The majority of them come across as being brain dead. Sometimes I'll get a few persistent ones.. I've got 3 that keep bugging me right now..

Something about making loud bendy sounds on an electric guitar and singing songs about drinking probably does that. That and my devilishly handsome good looks and natural sense of humor.

Seriously, why premeditate this sh!t? Learn the valuable art of improvisation and living in the moment. Why even think about this stuff at all?

That said, some of these were pretty funny.. But still, you know.. Really, it's better to be natural. Of course, if you are naturally too serious and have a sh!tty sense of humor, you probably are going to fail anyway. In that case, get a hooker, it'll save you some time.
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
tvellalott
Posts: 10,864
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/26/2011 2:45:18 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/26/2011 2:13:52 AM, CosmicAlfonzo wrote:
Seriously, why premeditate this sh!t? Learn the valuable art of improvisation and living in the moment. Why even think about this stuff at all?

My pick up skills have drastically improved since I started dramatically premeditating sh!t.
"Caitlyn Jenner is an incredibly brave and stunningly beautiful woman."

Muh threads
Using mafia tactics in real-life: http://www.debate.org...
6 years of DDO: http://www.debate.org...
JustCallMeTarzan
Posts: 1,922
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/26/2011 12:08:59 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/25/2011 11:43:04 PM, nonentity wrote:
At 2/25/2011 11:13:39 PM, ccstate4peat wrote:
If I asked you to sleep with me, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this?

Answer: go fvck yourself :p

Your place or mine?
I-am-a-panda
Posts: 15,380
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/26/2011 12:15:16 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/25/2011 11:50:09 PM, nonentity wrote:
At 2/25/2011 11:46:12 PM, tvellalott wrote:

"They say you are what you eat; if that's true, tomorrow I'll be you."

Haha

I'd like to put my basilisk in your chamber of secrets.

Don't steal lines from my hawt harry potter themed sex talks.
Pizza. I have enormous respect for Pizza.
Veridas
Posts: 733
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/27/2011 12:36:49 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Have sex with me or I'll burn your house down.

Actually worked the first time I used it.
What fresh dickery is the internet up to today?
nonentity
Posts: 5,008
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/27/2011 12:57:55 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/27/2011 12:36:49 PM, Veridas wrote:
Have sex with me or I'll burn your house down.

Actually worked the first time I used it.

You must be reeeeally good looking haha
ccstate4peat
Posts: 2,022
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/27/2011 1:04:59 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/27/2011 12:57:55 PM, nonentity wrote:
At 2/27/2011 12:36:49 PM, Veridas wrote:
Have sex with me or I'll burn your house down.

Actually worked the first time I used it.

You must be reeeeally good looking haha

Or have a reeeeeally big knife pointed at her haha
bluesteel
Posts: 12,301
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/27/2011 1:08:02 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Catch a woman's eye from across the room; beckon her to come towards you with your index finger. When she arrives, say:

"I made you come with one finger; imagine what I can do with my whole hand."
You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into - Jonathan Swift (paraphrase)
ccstate4peat
Posts: 2,022
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/27/2011 1:10:31 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/27/2011 1:08:02 PM, bluesteel wrote:
Catch a woman's eye from across the room; beckon her to come towards you with your index finger. When she arrives, say:

"I made you come with one finger; imagine what I can do with my whole hand."

I would think you meant rape there
nonentity
Posts: 5,008
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
2/27/2011 1:21:46 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/27/2011 1:04:59 PM, ccstate4peat wrote:
At 2/27/2011 12:57:55 PM, nonentity wrote:
At 2/27/2011 12:36:49 PM, Veridas wrote:
Have sex with me or I'll burn your house down.

Actually worked the first time I used it.

You must be reeeeally good looking haha

Or have a reeeeeally big knife pointed at her haha

lmao so scary.
askbob
Posts: 7,254
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/1/2011 7:47:49 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 3/1/2011 7:37:14 AM, MUFFin_MAN wrote:
its funny because all you guys are virgins

coming from a 21 year old who looks like he hasn't hit puberty
Me -Phil left the site in my charge. I have a recorded phone conversation to prove it.
kohai -If you're the owner, then do something useful like ip block him and get us away from juggle and on a dofferent host!
Me -haha you apparently don't know my history
Kohai - Maybe not, but that doesn't matter! You shoukd still listen to your community and quit being a tyrrant!
Me - i was being completely sarcastic
Kohai - then u misrepresented yourself by impersonating the owner—a violation of the tos