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Kimboslice926
Posts: 49
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3/25/2011 1:32:37 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
Why is it that people tend to get mad at first if they break up with someone? If you don't like the person shouldn't you break up with them instead of leading them on? Why is it everyone gets mad at the person who does the breaking instead of just excepting that they are are over and that this was unable to be avoided?Why are people unable to see that these two person were never meant to be or just right now they aren't? I was thinking about this lately...and to be honest it's really annoying
Osiris
Posts: 265
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3/25/2011 4:13:56 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 3/25/2011 1:32:37 PM, Kimboslice926 wrote:
Why is it that people tend to get mad at first if they break up with someone? If you don't like the person shouldn't you break up with them instead of leading them on? Why is it everyone gets mad at the person who does the breaking instead of just excepting that they are are over and that this was unable to be avoided?Why are people unable to see that these two person were never meant to be or just right now they aren't? I was thinking about this lately...and to be honest it's really annoying

People aren't just mad at the person who dumped the other person for no reason. There's usually something that leads people to be angry (i.e. the way they broke up with the other person, if the reason wasn't legitimate, if the relationship could've been salvaged, etc.).
"Common sense is not so common." -Voltaire
Greyparrot
Posts: 16,189
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3/25/2011 4:16:44 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
Usually when you want to fight for something you believe in, anger is involved toward your obstacles.
I find myself intrigued by your subvocal oscillations.
A singular development of cat communications
That obviates your basic hedonistic predilection,
For a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection.
bluesteel
Posts: 12,305
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3/25/2011 6:17:19 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 3/25/2011 1:32:37 PM, Kimboslice926 wrote:
Why is it that people tend to get mad at first if they break up with someone? If you don't like the person shouldn't you break up with them instead of leading them on? Why is it everyone gets mad at the person who does the breaking instead of just excepting that they are are over and that this was unable to be avoided?Why are people unable to see that these two person were never meant to be or just right now they aren't? I was thinking about this lately...and to be honest it's really annoying

There are many reactions people can have when broken up with - anger, sadness, depression, relief, happiness, denial. The more mutual and the more its caused by circumstances not feelings, the better the breakup.

The anger reaction is pretty natural - the person getting broken up with sees it as "you're taking away something important from my life" rather than "you're doing the right thing for you, and thus me too."
You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into - Jonathan Swift (paraphrase)
PervRat
Posts: 963
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3/28/2011 11:00:07 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 3/25/2011 1:32:37 PM, Kimboslice926 wrote:
Why is it that people tend to get mad at first if they break up with someone? If you don't like the person shouldn't you break up with them instead of leading them on? Why is it everyone gets mad at the person who does the breaking instead of just excepting that they are are over and that this was unable to be avoided?Why are people unable to see that these two person were never meant to be or just right now they aren't? I was thinking about this lately...and to be honest it's really annoying

Reason and judgment fail, even for the most reasonable person, when it comes to matters of the heart. No one I know of enters into a relationshp with the idea in their minds that "this will probably fail" and still continue to go farther.

I can only express confidently my own feelings in my own relationships, and pass along secondhand what words others express when going through relationship failures ... the truth, as I see it, is words cannot do justice to how powerful and potent emotions are, how much of ourselves we invest in relationships. When things start to go amiss, we tend to feel compelled to try and "fix" it somehow, if only by clinging to hope. Its the same reason people -- myself included -- suffer "battered wife syndrome" when a relationship becomes abusive toward us. We always try to find blame -- "battered wives" like myself will blame ourselves; abusers and aggressors will tend to blame the other person and thus justify their hostility.

Essentially, to answer your question, the reason is that there is no reason. We are not beings of pure logic and reason; we are passionate beings. Everybody screws up, everyone is driven in some way, shape or form by emotion to act rashly and/or foolishly at times.
devinni01841
Posts: 1,405
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3/29/2011 11:08:08 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 3/25/2011 1:32:37 PM, Kimboslice926 wrote:
Why is it that people tend to get mad at first if they break up with someone? If you don't like the person shouldn't you break up with them instead of leading them on? Why is it everyone gets mad at the person who does the breaking instead of just excepting that they are are over and that this was unable to be avoided?Why are people unable to see that these two person were never meant to be or just right now they aren't? I was thinking about this lately...and to be honest it's really annoying

I really don't know... my friends are confused about why I'm not mad about how I'm not mad the Derick ended it... although I wish he'd hadthe courtesy to say it to my face instead of having my best friend tell me that I'm single...
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Kimboslice926
Posts: 49
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3/30/2011 1:42:47 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
usually my friend get madder than I do..I would just want everyone to let it go but they drag it on saying how the guy is such a jerk for doing it when he simple doesn't like anymore..but I have bf but I'm confused on whether I see him more as a brother than a boyfriend..we're close but I've been having this feeling lately and I want to talk to him but I don't want to hurt him or do the wrong thing..like break up with him and realize I mad a huge mistake but I don't want to drag this out any longer than necessary..cause the longer I wait the more it can hurt him..I really don't want to hurt him..but that's not preventable