Total Posts:8|Showing Posts:1-8
Jump to topic:

Short story (my first time)

vardas0antras
Posts: 983
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/16/2011 11:31:31 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
So, I am beginning to write short stories (again) and here is the most basic idea I have for my first story, the first chapter :

A 13 year old throws a paper airplane
The paper airplane falls but the shadow keeps on flying
The Visitors of the house freak out and burn the house
Chaos and destruction follow

Of course, I am only brainstorming at this point but what do you think? Most people I asked told me that it's a lot to take in and I am worried about not being skilled enough to fit all that in one short chapter. Lastly, good stories focus on characters and not events unlike my story :(

Anyhow, what do you think?
"When he awoke in a tomb three days later he would actually have believed that he rose from the dead" FREEDO about the resurrection of Jesus Christ
vardas0antras
Posts: 983
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/16/2011 11:32:21 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
Also, the title should read "Short story (my first one)"
"When he awoke in a tomb three days later he would actually have believed that he rose from the dead" FREEDO about the resurrection of Jesus Christ
askbob
Posts: 7,254
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/16/2011 4:51:27 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
that's more of a haiku than a short story lol
Me -Phil left the site in my charge. I have a recorded phone conversation to prove it.
kohai -If you're the owner, then do something useful like ip block him and get us away from juggle and on a dofferent host!
Me -haha you apparently don't know my history
Kohai - Maybe not, but that doesn't matter! You shoukd still listen to your community and quit being a tyrrant!
Me - i was being completely sarcastic
Kohai - then u misrepresented yourself by impersonating the owner—a violation of the tos
askbob
Posts: 7,254
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/16/2011 4:54:09 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
http://digital.library.cornell.edu...

This is one of the better short stories i've ever read
Me -Phil left the site in my charge. I have a recorded phone conversation to prove it.
kohai -If you're the owner, then do something useful like ip block him and get us away from juggle and on a dofferent host!
Me -haha you apparently don't know my history
Kohai - Maybe not, but that doesn't matter! You shoukd still listen to your community and quit being a tyrrant!
Me - i was being completely sarcastic
Kohai - then u misrepresented yourself by impersonating the owner—a violation of the tos
PoeJoe
Posts: 3,822
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/16/2011 9:05:03 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 5/16/2011 5:01:54 PM, FREEDO wrote:
I thought you were going to tell us a story about your first time.

That's what I thought, too.

Anyway, your story seems really abstract. Not a lot of meat to it. Which is OK. But you'll have to really hack at it.

You'll have to make some key decisions. For instance, who is observing the airplane? Are we jumping POVs? Do we have a very present narrator? Etc.

One of the central narratives in House of Leaves is, a family notices that the inside of their house is a few inches larger than the outside of the house... and it was effectively done. Then again, it was a novel. And, it was really, really modern.

Try reading some Kafka short stories. Similar style to what you're getting at.

Good luck! :)
Television Rot: http://tvrot.com...
OMGJustinBieber
Posts: 3,484
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/16/2011 9:44:05 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
The story feels more like it should be a short animation.

Good stories generally reveal some truth about human nature or society.