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Opposites attract?

mauricio2
Posts: 129
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10/21/2011 7:38:23 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Two years ago I fell in love with a girl who was very different from me and we dated and have been for 2 years now. When we first met she was a innocent country girl that was sweet and happy. she liked country and zombies and I liked (and still do) politics and beethoven. well over time she changed a LOT! she got into screamo (which I hate with a raging passion!) and became really trendy and scene. her friends got her to do stuff, 2 years ago she wouldn't dare to do and always would say she never would do. like getting drunk (which made her non innocent now) and since she has changed so much and all the stuff she's done makes me wonder what else will she do next? Iv'e talked to her about all this and all she says is " I don't want to fight" and then kiss me. but all the stuff she got into and all the stuff she does makes me wonder "why am I with her? she isn't the girl I first fell in love with" so what do I do? I want her old self back and stay with her. I don't want to leave her but when I think of what she has turned into at the same time I sorda do want to leave her. what do I do?!
Ragnar_Rahl
Posts: 19,297
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10/21/2011 8:27:19 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
I want her old self back
Her old self doesn't exist. DTMFB or be unhappy . You can't have a relationship with a hypothetical.
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darkkermit
Posts: 11,204
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10/21/2011 8:56:59 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 10/21/2011 8:27:19 PM, Ragnar_Rahl wrote:
I want her old self back
Her old self doesn't exist. DTMFB or be unhappy . You can't have a relationship with a hypothetical.

Yes, she will not go back to her old self. Since your a teenager, these changes can likely based on hormones (god I hate that word, its so lame) which more or less displaces her old behaviors. Don't worry, she will continuously change and you will well. This is why high school relationships rarely work :p.
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rogue
Posts: 2,325
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10/22/2011 12:29:20 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 10/21/2011 7:38:23 PM, mauricio2 wrote:
Two years ago I fell in love with a girl who was very different from me and we dated and have been for 2 years now. When we first met she was a innocent country girl that was sweet and happy. she liked country and zombies and I liked (and still do) politics and beethoven. well over time she changed a LOT! she got into screamo (which I hate with a raging passion!) and became really trendy and scene. her friends got her to do stuff, 2 years ago she wouldn't dare to do and always would say she never would do. like getting drunk (which made her non innocent now) and since she has changed so much and all the stuff she's done makes me wonder what else will she do next? Iv'e talked to her about all this and all she says is " I don't want to fight" and then kiss me. but all the stuff she got into and all the stuff she does makes me wonder "why am I with her? she isn't the girl I first fell in love with" so what do I do? I want her old self back and stay with her. I don't want to leave her but when I think of what she has turned into at the same time I sorda do want to leave her. what do I do?!

Her old self is gone. But you should decide if it is really worth breaking up with her over these changes. Do they really make her someone you don't want to be with? Do they really make her a bad person? She obviously still has some of that girl you fell in love with and those remaining parts might be the ones that matter. But if you are unhappy you should break it off with her.
Kleptin
Posts: 5,095
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10/23/2011 8:57:42 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
You're asking a lot of the wrong questions. You're focused on whether or not this relationship is working out FOR YOU. You're trying to figure out whether or not she is compatible WITH YOU. I think that you should figure out why it is that she's changing herself. Another issue is why she's so easily swayed by her friends but not by you. Just as an outsider, it seems that there are a *lot* of issues with this relationship beyond simple clash of interests. Press her to talk to you, but in a way that isn't threatening or judgmental. A relationship in which people ignore the concerns of their partner is NOT a relationship.
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