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Asking someone to Winterball

quarterexchange
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11/17/2011 5:32:36 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
This is something I'm completely uncomfortable with, so I was hoping some people here could help with determine what I should do.

I made the decision, several days ago, to finally ask out a girl that I know to Winterball, I just haven't done it yet. I have her for 1st and 4th period. I planned to ask her today during passing period to 4th today, but I didn't see her in 1st. But she showed up in 4th period. By then I lost my nerve. She's gorgeous, very shy, but a very good student and performs much better academically than I can ever hope to. Her smile actually makes weak in my knees, and let me remind you, I'm a cold-hearted capitalistic conservative s.o.b, not some bleedin' heart romantic.

Anyway, tommorow, I'm sure is my last chance before someone else asks her over Thanksgiving Break. What on earth should I do?! I already have a modest bouquet I plan to present to her and I hope to make it so that we are somewhat alone, were she will have some of her friends present, but not so much were she will be creeped out. Also keep in mind, we sit RIGHT next to each other in 4th period. So far, this is my plan unless someone tells me otherwise and I am very open to suggestions. Other questions I hope to have answered include.

Does taking someone to Winterball/Dance/whatever mean you're a couple from there on out?

How do you dance?!?!

What do you say/do if she says "no"?

What do you say/do if she says "yes"?

This is the very first time I've done anything like this....and I'm a Junior. So I'm a loser when it comes to girls, but I figure I have nothing to lose. If she says "no", it's not like I have very far to fall. But for the love of Christ give me something, because everytime I get close to asking my heart beats so much I feel like I'm going into cardiac arrest.
I don't discriminate....I hate everybody.
WriterSelbe
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11/17/2011 5:36:38 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Ok, first off, the best way to go about it is to not think about it at all. Just blank your mind and say it. Secondly, if she says no, just say, 'Yeah, I get it. That's cool. Thanks anyway.' If she says yes, say, 'That's great. Thanks.' Then ask her about what time she wants to be picked up, if she wants to have dinner before, etc.

Also, just because you're going to the Winter Ball doesn't mean you're dating, though it is a start. That will be a different conversation, but if you hit it off enough at the Winter Ball, you definitely could go ahead and ask her for a relationship.
nonentity
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11/17/2011 7:40:56 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Oh my God, you are so cute. Ask her. If you don't, you'll only beat yourself up over "what ifs".

If she says no, just smile and keep it moving. Say something casual but not too casual, like "see you around". Don't do what most guys do and pretend it didn't matter. That could ruin any potential future dates.

If she says yes, do/say whatever feels natural. You could even also say "see you around". But don't thank her.

In both cases you could pretty much react in the same way. The only difference is you're allowed to be excited when she says yes.

That's my two cents. Good luck :)
quarterexchange
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11/17/2011 8:33:35 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/17/2011 7:40:56 PM, nonentity wrote:
Oh my God, you are so cute. Ask her. If you don't, you'll only beat yourself up over "what ifs".

If she says no, just smile and keep it moving. Say something casual but not too casual, like "see you around". Don't do what most guys do and pretend it didn't matter. That could ruin any potential future dates.

If she says yes, do/say whatever feels natural. You could even also say "see you around". But don't thank her.

In both cases you could pretty much react in the same way. The only difference is you're allowed to be excited when she says yes.

That's my two cents. Good luck :)

Thanks, I'm most likely just going to go with this since it won't seem forced or weird coming from me. The big reason I'm asking her is because I know I'll regret it if she would have said "yes". At least if she says "no" it leaves no doubt, even if my nerves are shot to hell.
I don't discriminate....I hate everybody.
Lickdafoot
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11/17/2011 8:57:51 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Aww cute :P

If you're nervous about asking her in front of people in class, why not ask her if you could walk with her to her next class or meet her after school? & say it in first period to get it out of the way.

if she's the shy type, she will be flattered either way, so don't be too nervous!!! good luck!
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quarterexchange
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11/17/2011 9:46:12 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/17/2011 8:57:51 PM, Lickdafoot wrote:
Aww cute :P

If you're nervous about asking her in front of people in class, why not ask her if you could walk with her to her next class or meet her after school? & say it in first period to get it out of the way.

if she's the shy type, she will be flattered either way, so don't be too nervous!!! good luck!

It may be kind of wierd if I asked to walk with her, since she typically hangs around her friends but I am thinking about simply getting it out of the way during passing period right after 1st period. I'm also kind of nervous because I heard that she turned someone else down last year. She was asked through a mutual friend and she was a sophmore. Perhaps because I'm doing it face to face and because we are both juniors, she will be flattered......and not say "no".
I don't discriminate....I hate everybody.
nonentity
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11/17/2011 10:00:17 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/17/2011 9:57:52 PM, Greyparrot wrote:
She sits next to you... is note passing too old fasioned nowadays?

Don't... do that. lol
Greyparrot
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11/17/2011 10:01:02 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/17/2011 10:00:17 PM, nonentity wrote:
At 11/17/2011 9:57:52 PM, Greyparrot wrote:
She sits next to you... is note passing too old fasioned nowadays?

Don't... do that. lol

Guess so lol!
quarterexchange
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11/17/2011 10:06:19 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/17/2011 9:57:52 PM, Greyparrot wrote:
She sits next to you... is note passing too old fasioned nowadays?

It would be less awkward if I simply asked her if she would bear my children.
I don't discriminate....I hate everybody.
nonentity
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11/17/2011 10:09:26 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/17/2011 10:06:19 PM, quarterexchange wrote:
At 11/17/2011 9:57:52 PM, Greyparrot wrote:
She sits next to you... is note passing too old fasioned nowadays?

It would be less awkward if I simply asked her if she would bear my children.

What do you look like? If you have an ironic look you might be able to pull that off haha
quarterexchange
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11/17/2011 10:14:42 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/17/2011 10:09:26 PM, nonentity wrote:
At 11/17/2011 10:06:19 PM, quarterexchange wrote:
At 11/17/2011 9:57:52 PM, Greyparrot wrote:
She sits next to you... is note passing too old fasioned nowadays?

It would be less awkward if I simply asked her if she would bear my children.

What do you look like? If you have an ironic look you might be able to pull that off haha

Eyes: Blue
Hair: Blonde
Height: 5' 10'-11'

oh and a BMI of 65

I think blue eyes turn her off though from what I gather.
I don't discriminate....I hate everybody.
nonentity
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11/17/2011 10:17:29 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/17/2011 10:14:42 PM, quarterexchange wrote:
At 11/17/2011 10:09:26 PM, nonentity wrote:
At 11/17/2011 10:06:19 PM, quarterexchange wrote:
At 11/17/2011 9:57:52 PM, Greyparrot wrote:
She sits next to you... is note passing too old fasioned nowadays?

It would be less awkward if I simply asked her if she would bear my children.

What do you look like? If you have an ironic look you might be able to pull that off haha

Eyes: Blue
Hair: Blonde
Height: 5' 10'-11'

oh and a BMI of 65


lol What?

I think blue eyes turn her off though from what I gather.
quarterexchange
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11/17/2011 10:21:15 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/17/2011 10:19:18 PM, nonentity wrote:
Was that a typo? If not, my sincerest apologies :/

It was a joke, I'll start including :) more often.
I don't discriminate....I hate everybody.
nonentity
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11/17/2011 10:25:07 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/17/2011 10:21:15 PM, quarterexchange wrote:
At 11/17/2011 10:19:18 PM, nonentity wrote:
Was that a typo? If not, my sincerest apologies :/

It was a joke, I'll start including :) more often.

Sorry, not your fault... I am notorious for being too serious/literal. I'm like the Sheldon Cooper of my friends. Can't understand sarcasm when other people use it >.<
bluesteel
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11/17/2011 10:33:17 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Pass her a note during 4th:

"Will you go to winter ball with me?"

box 1: yes

box 2: omg, yes!!

(check one)
You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into - Jonathan Swift (paraphrase)
nonentity
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11/17/2011 10:35:52 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/17/2011 10:33:17 PM, bluesteel wrote:
Pass her a note during 4th:

"Will you go to winter ball with me?"

box 1: yes

box 2: omg, yes!!

(check one)

What a ladies' man.
M.Torres
Posts: 3,626
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11/17/2011 10:36:05 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/17/2011 10:33:17 PM, bluesteel wrote:
Pass her a note during 4th:

"Will you go to winter ball with me?"

box 1: yes

box 2: omg, yes!!

(check one)

This.
: At 11/28/2011 1:28:24 PM, BlackVoid wrote:
: M. Torres said it, so it must be right.

I'm an Apatheistic Ignostic. ... problem? ;D

I believe in the heart of the cards. .:DDO Duelist:.
bluesteel
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11/17/2011 10:36:58 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
or if you're more ballsy:

"Will you go to winter ball with me?"

box 1:omg, yes!!

box 2: I'm a lesbian.

The lame note has a classic appeal and you'll get a good response no matter what, as long as it's funny (not giving her a box to say no). Even if she's going with someone else, at least it's less awkward. She'll just write that on the note.
You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into - Jonathan Swift (paraphrase)
nonentity
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11/17/2011 10:40:31 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
You're probably better off going with bluesteel's suggestion. I know almost nothing about girls. And if my 16 year old sister is any indication, teenaged girls are retarded.
quarterexchange
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11/17/2011 10:51:20 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/17/2011 10:40:31 PM, nonentity wrote:
You're probably better off going with bluesteel's suggestion. I know almost nothing about girls. And if my 16 year old sister is any indication, teenaged girls are retarded.

I'll still go with your suggestion, since this girl is very bright and is very shy, so I am hoping that she will be flattered.

@bluesteel

Perhaps I'll show her the note as a joke afterwards and tell her it was my back up. It's hilarious, but I'm not sure that her sense of humor is the same.
I don't discriminate....I hate everybody.
bluesteel
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11/17/2011 11:06:57 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
It works on multiple levels b/c it's cocky/funny (I recommend you read David DeAngelo). The problem is that if you don't really know this girl, asking her to talk to her alone can be a little intimidating for her, esp. if she's shy. Also, if you miss her again, which is easy to do, or she's with her friends, as you point out, you may get too nervous again (as you said). Class is the only time you're guaranteed to be alone with her and you said you sit behind her. That's the only reason I said it.

Does taking someone to Winterball/Dance/whatever mean you're a couple from there on out?

No, definitely not. Although if you kiss her at the dance, your chances are better with her.

How do you dance?!?!

Just move around with the beat. No one really cares what you look like when you dance. And just wait for the slow songs ;-)

What do you say/do if she says "no"?

Act non-plussed. Just b/c she's going with someone else doesn't mean they are going out either. Chat her up at some later point and get her number.

What do you say/do if she says "yes"?

Smile, get her number to "coordinate future plans." Immediately text her so she has your number too (don't want your number showing up as unknown on her phone).
You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into - Jonathan Swift (paraphrase)
thett3
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11/17/2011 11:39:50 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/17/2011 5:32:36 PM, quarterexchange wrote:
This is something I'm completely uncomfortable with, so I was hoping some people here could help with determine what I should do.

I made the decision, several days ago, to finally ask out a girl that I know to Winterball, I just haven't done it yet. I have her for 1st and 4th period. I planned to ask her today during passing period to 4th today, but I didn't see her in 1st. But she showed up in 4th period. By then I lost my nerve. She's gorgeous, very shy, but a very good student and performs much better academically than I can ever hope to. Her smile actually makes weak in my knees, and let me remind you, I'm a cold-hearted capitalistic conservative s.o.b, not some bleedin' heart romantic.

Anyway, tommorow, I'm sure is my last chance before someone else asks her over Thanksgiving Break. What on earth should I do?! I already have a modest bouquet I plan to present to her and I hope to make it so that we are somewhat alone, were she will have some of her friends present, but not so much were she will be creeped out. Also keep in mind, we sit RIGHT next to each other in 4th period. So far, this is my plan unless someone tells me otherwise and I am very open to suggestions. Other questions I hope to have answered include.

Does taking someone to Winterball/Dance/whatever mean you're a couple from there on out?

How do you dance?!?!

What do you say/do if she says "no"?

What do you say/do if she says "yes"?

This is the very first time I've done anything like this....and I'm a Junior. So I'm a loser when it comes to girls, but I figure I have nothing to lose. If she says "no", it's not like I have very far to fall. But for the love of Christ give me something, because everytime I get close to asking my heart beats so much I feel like I'm going into cardiac arrest.

Ask her. The worst that happens is that you make her feel special by showing interest and the best is that you get a girlfriend. Sounds like a win/win to me. If she says yes, be happy. not too happy though, that's creepy. Just a nice little "I knew that's what you were going to say" smile (if you can pull it off without looking like an arrogant d0uche--if not, just smile.) works. If she says know you blow it off, bc you're a bad@ss mothf*****.

Also, cut the "her smile makes my knees weaken.." crap if you ever think to say that to her. There are only certain cases where it's not creepy or awkward to say things like that this early on.
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quarterexchange
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11/17/2011 11:44:28 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/17/2011 11:39:50 PM, thett3 wrote:
Ask her. The worst that happens is that you make her feel special by showing interest and the best is that you get a girlfriend. Sounds like a win/win to me. If she says yes, be happy. not too happy though, that's creepy. Just a nice little "I knew that's what you were going to say" smile (if you can pull it off without looking like an arrogant d0uche--if not, just smile.) works. If she says know you blow it off, bc you're a bad@ss mothf*****.

Yeah, I'm using Bluesteel's note idea to hopefully make it less awkward and be an ice breaker, then "hopefully" after her acceptance giver a small bouquet of roses.

Also, cut the "her smile makes my knees weaken.." crap if you ever think to say that to her. There are only certain cases where it's not creepy or awkward to say things like that this early on.

I wasn't going to, I may not know how to deal with girls very well but I know what is and isn't creepy.
I don't discriminate....I hate everybody.
M.Torres
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11/17/2011 11:50:22 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 11/17/2011 11:44:28 PM, quarterexchange wrote:
At 11/17/2011 11:39:50 PM, thett3 wrote:
Ask her. The worst that happens is that you make her feel special by showing interest and the best is that you get a girlfriend. Sounds like a win/win to me. If she says yes, be happy. not too happy though, that's creepy. Just a nice little "I knew that's what you were going to say" smile (if you can pull it off without looking like an arrogant d0uche--if not, just smile.) works. If she says know you blow it off, bc you're a bad@ss mothf*****.

Yeah, I'm using Bluesteel's note idea to hopefully make it less awkward and be an ice breaker, then "hopefully" after her acceptance giver a small bouquet of roses.

Blue, I don't know if the "cocky" approach is suited to this guy. If he can't keep it up, he'll see through him EASY. And that's not good.


Also, cut the "her smile makes my knees weaken.." crap if you ever think to say that to her. There are only certain cases where it's not creepy or awkward to say things like that this early on.

I wasn't going to, I may not know how to deal with girls very well but I know what is and isn't creepy.

Yeah... but... the attitude... Hm. Too bad we didn't have more time. We could all have run you through some kind of coaching course. lol
: At 11/28/2011 1:28:24 PM, BlackVoid wrote:
: M. Torres said it, so it must be right.

I'm an Apatheistic Ignostic. ... problem? ;D

I believe in the heart of the cards. .:DDO Duelist:.
bluesteel
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11/17/2011 11:58:21 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
He'll be fine. If she says yes to winter ball, he's already 50% of the way there.

The cocky's goal isn't to come off as cocky. That's why it's mediated by funny. It's just supposed to show confidence.

If he needs more help later, he can ask.

Hope all goes well quarter!
You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into - Jonathan Swift (paraphrase)