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The best time to get married

goodwill
Posts: 10
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1/3/2012 5:42:26 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
When is the best time to get married?
I always believed that a man should get married when he is financially stable and is mature enough to become a father. it means that he should have a secure job that has enough income to feed at least 3 people (you, wife, kid). He also needs to be able to afford a car or two, and a house. Who can say in this day and age that he's financially qualified to have his own family?
Does it matter if you don't make enough money to get married?
At what age do people usually get married and why?
Can you get married and be happy as long as you love your spouse even though you don't have a decent job?
If you can get a better job later in life, should you get married right now or wait until you actually get the job?
Please share your thoughts. Thanks.
CosmicAlfonzo
Posts: 5,955
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1/3/2012 6:52:58 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Never. Why put yourself in a position to where someone can yoink half your schtuff? Screw that.
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vmpire321
Posts: 4,731
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1/3/2012 7:10:25 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/3/2012 6:52:58 PM, CosmicAlfonzo wrote:
Never. Why put yourself in a position to where someone can yoink half your schtuff? Screw that.

+1

I'll probably never end up getting married or having kids... Imo, it's too much trouble.
Mirza
Posts: 16,992
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1/3/2012 7:13:15 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/3/2012 5:42:26 PM, goodwill wrote:
When is the best time to get married?
I always believed that a man should get married when he is financially stable and is mature enough to become a father. it means that he should have a secure job that has enough income to feed at least 3 people (you, wife, kid). He also needs to be able to afford a car or two, and a house. Who can say in this day and age that he's financially qualified to have his own family?
Does it matter if you don't make enough money to get married?
At what age do people usually get married and why?
Can you get married and be happy as long as you love your spouse even though you don't have a decent job?
If you can get a better job later in life, should you get married right now or wait until you actually get the job?
Please share your thoughts. Thanks.
It depends. You can't generalize something like this. For some people, it is very good if they marry during teenagehood. This could prevent them from becoming messes in the society and taking drugs/alcohol, fornicating, etc. None of this is good.

One like me who has always been single (thank God), doesn't take intoxicants, etc., should wait to get married until everything can be taken care by myself.
Lasagna
Posts: 2,440
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1/4/2012 6:03:03 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/3/2012 5:42:26 PM, goodwill wrote:
When is the best time to get married?

Never.

I always believed that a man should get married when he is financially stable and is mature enough to become a father.

Key phrase: "always believed." IOWs, "never actually thought about it."

it means that he should have a secure job that has enough income to feed at least 3 people (you, wife, kid). He also needs to be able to afford a car or two, and a house. Who can say in this day and age that he's financially qualified to have his own family?

There is never a time when someone is financially stable. Richer people have large risks and responsibilities to taxes and bills, and poorer people have less money to work with.

Does it matter if you don't make enough money to get married?

Negative. Studies have shown that having a family is not financially taxing.

At what age do people usually get married and why?

I'm guessing in their early twenties, when they are doing what they "always thought" they should do without realizing that in ten years they will be divorced and back to square one.

Can you get married and be happy as long as you love your spouse even though you don't have a decent job?

Certainly. "Decent" in your statement is undefined. You are intending to mean $, but you are neglecting to take into account stress. Take a bic pen and bend it into a right angle and then back again. That white stressmark left in the plastic is similar what many jobs that pay well will do to your body, while you are chasing that dollar to buy lots of stuff for your family that they really don't need. In the sense of stress, you certainly do need a decent job or else you are not going to see your family very much and you will be under increased tension when you do. Rich people have just as much family issues as poorer people (generally speaking) in different ways. Perhaps it is the wife's affair when the husband spends lots of time at work and she doesn't get the emotional support she needs (but doesn't consider that she's just "always thought" that her husband should be doing everything he can to stockpile $). Or it could be the husband's stress that he brings home from work from having high responsibility at work. Our culture worships work, and we always praise that person who will work the hardest for the cause, not thinking that as we are all crawling all over each other to prove we're the hardest worker our family life is where we borrow that extra time to make that difference. Nobody wants to recognize that however, because the notion of capitalism rests on it and once you assimilate that idea you must admit that capitalism is self-defeating.

I watched a movie with Denzel Washington a few years back, and it was a rags-to-riches story of a guy who makes it big by working harder than his peers (basically). At one point, while he's working hard to beat out the others, he notes that the other competitors for the job take casual water breaks every hour or so, and he decides not to do that because he can make up several minutes at a time (and eventually uses techniques like this to outperform them). While it is admirable that one would have the fortitude to accomplish this and yes more work is completed, we must look at what the implications to one's family life are. Do we want a nation of people dedicated fiercely to competition and production? Or do we want to relax and tell people to make sure and not neglect what matters most? Is there any necessity that we enjoy that wouldn't exist if people spent more quality time away from their work to nurture their family and social relationships?

If you can get a better job later in life, should you get married right now or wait until you actually get the job?

If you wait, you may find you never wanted to get married in the first place ;)
Rob
Ren
Posts: 7,102
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1/4/2012 9:05:32 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
@ Lasagna - that was a brilliant post. I agreed with every word except what you said about rich people. Having known rich people, its clear that many of them have no idea what its like to be a middle and lower class American. There is an end for all these struggles, and it doesn't necessarily only require that you have money, but certain appearances, behaviors, and prior knowledge, as well.

That was excellent, though, it would be a speech that deserves a standing ovation.
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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1/5/2012 1:48:28 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/4/2012 6:03:03 PM, Lasagna wrote:

I watched a movie with Denzel Washington a few years back, and it was a rags-to-riches story of a guy who makes it big by working harder than his peers (basically). At one point, while he's working hard to beat out the others, he notes that the other competitors for the job take casual water breaks every hour or so, and he decides not to do that because he can make up several minutes at a time (and eventually uses techniques like this to outperform them).

The movie was The Pursuit of Happyness and the actor was Will Smith. I have nothing else to contribute to the discussion but the error was bugging me.
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Lasagna
Posts: 2,440
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1/5/2012 9:12:01 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/4/2012 9:05:32 PM, Ren wrote:
@ Lasagna - that was a brilliant post. I agreed with every word except what you said about rich people. Having known rich people, its clear that many of them have no idea what its like to be a middle and lower class American. There is an end for all these struggles, and it doesn't necessarily only require that you have money, but certain appearances, behaviors, and prior knowledge, as well.

I guess my point wasn't necessarily that they "know what it's like" to be poor. It was more along the lines of "you're never really rich in this world." He obviously is creating this imaginary line, with each side of it being "not wealthy enough to marry" and "wealthy enough to marry" and that line doesn't exist.

People who are rich aren't necessarily "secure," whatever that is supposed to mean, they simply have had their concerns shifted to different areas. A poor person might be worried about maintaining car payments, whereas a rich person might be worried about keeping the family business afloat. In either case failure would lead to the same sort of emotional desperation.

That was excellent, though, it would be a speech that deserves a standing ovation.

LOL
Rob
Lasagna
Posts: 2,440
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1/5/2012 9:12:38 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/5/2012 1:48:28 AM, Maikuru wrote:
At 1/4/2012 6:03:03 PM, Lasagna wrote:

I watched a movie with Denzel Washington a few years back, and it was a rags-to-riches story of a guy who makes it big by working harder than his peers (basically). At one point, while he's working hard to beat out the others, he notes that the other competitors for the job take casual water breaks every hour or so, and he decides not to do that because he can make up several minutes at a time (and eventually uses techniques like this to outperform them).

The movie was The Pursuit of Happyness and the actor was Will Smith. I have nothing else to contribute to the discussion but the error was bugging me.

Haha yes that's it. But while we're correcting errors... "Happiness."
Rob
OberHerr
Posts: 13,062
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1/5/2012 9:14:32 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/5/2012 9:12:38 AM, Lasagna wrote:
At 1/5/2012 1:48:28 AM, Maikuru wrote:
At 1/4/2012 6:03:03 PM, Lasagna wrote:

I watched a movie with Denzel Washington a few years back, and it was a rags-to-riches story of a guy who makes it big by working harder than his peers (basically). At one point, while he's working hard to beat out the others, he notes that the other competitors for the job take casual water breaks every hour or so, and he decides not to do that because he can make up several minutes at a time (and eventually uses techniques like this to outperform them).

The movie was The Pursuit of Happyness and the actor was Will Smith. I have nothing else to contribute to the discussion but the error was bugging me.

Haha yes that's it. But while we're correcting errors... "Happiness."

+1
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Ren
Posts: 7,102
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1/5/2012 9:52:24 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/5/2012 9:14:32 AM, OberHerr wrote:
At 1/5/2012 9:12:38 AM, Lasagna wrote:
At 1/5/2012 1:48:28 AM, Maikuru wrote:
At 1/4/2012 6:03:03 PM, Lasagna wrote:

I watched a movie with Denzel Washington a few years back, and it was a rags-to-riches story of a guy who makes it big by working harder than his peers (basically). At one point, while he's working hard to beat out the others, he notes that the other competitors for the job take casual water breaks every hour or so, and he decides not to do that because he can make up several minutes at a time (and eventually uses techniques like this to outperform them).

The movie was The Pursuit of Happyness and the actor was Will Smith. I have nothing else to contribute to the discussion but the error was bugging me.

Haha yes that's it. But while we're correcting errors... "Happiness."

+1

Well, although I agree that was petty, the title was, in fact, spelled "Happyness."
Lord_Logic
Posts: 81
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1/5/2012 10:46:26 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
When you are graduating from University.
Meet Ike, your worst enemy...or second...or third...or the rank after your mother...
Lasagna
Posts: 2,440
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1/5/2012 12:29:42 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/5/2012 9:52:24 AM, Ren wrote:
At 1/5/2012 9:14:32 AM, OberHerr wrote:
At 1/5/2012 9:12:38 AM, Lasagna wrote:
At 1/5/2012 1:48:28 AM, Maikuru wrote:
At 1/4/2012 6:03:03 PM, Lasagna wrote:

I watched a movie with Denzel Washington a few years back, and it was a rags-to-riches story of a guy who makes it big by working harder than his peers (basically). At one point, while he's working hard to beat out the others, he notes that the other competitors for the job take casual water breaks every hour or so, and he decides not to do that because he can make up several minutes at a time (and eventually uses techniques like this to outperform them).

The movie was The Pursuit of Happyness and the actor was Will Smith. I have nothing else to contribute to the discussion but the error was bugging me.

Haha yes that's it. But while we're correcting errors... "Happiness."

+1

Well, although I agree that was petty, the title was, in fact, spelled "Happyness."

I checked and you're right. I also checked and that is definitely competely wrong for spelling. So does anyone know why they arbitrarily decided to spell it with a "y?" Usually something like that is done in the interest of style, but I can't think of any reason to do it...
Rob
drafterman
Posts: 18,870
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1/5/2012 12:38:48 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/3/2012 5:42:26 PM, goodwill wrote:
When is the best time to get married?
I always believed that a man should get married when he is financially stable and is mature enough to become a father. it means that he should have a secure job that has enough income to feed at least 3 people (you, wife, kid). He also needs to be able to afford a car or two, and a house. Who can say in this day and age that he's financially qualified to have his own family?
Does it matter if you don't make enough money to get married?
At what age do people usually get married and why?
Can you get married and be happy as long as you love your spouse even though you don't have a decent job?
If you can get a better job later in life, should you get married right now or wait until you actually get the job?
Please share your thoughts. Thanks.

The best time to get married is before he/she knows you well enough to scare him/her off.
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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1/5/2012 1:41:28 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/5/2012 12:29:42 PM, Lasagna wrote:
At 1/5/2012 9:52:24 AM, Ren wrote:
At 1/5/2012 9:14:32 AM, OberHerr wrote:
At 1/5/2012 9:12:38 AM, Lasagna wrote:
At 1/5/2012 1:48:28 AM, Maikuru wrote:
At 1/4/2012 6:03:03 PM, Lasagna wrote:

I watched a movie with Denzel Washington a few years back, and it was a rags-to-riches story of a guy who makes it big by working harder than his peers (basically). At one point, while he's working hard to beat out the others, he notes that the other competitors for the job take casual water breaks every hour or so, and he decides not to do that because he can make up several minutes at a time (and eventually uses techniques like this to outperform them).

The movie was The Pursuit of Happyness and the actor was Will Smith. I have nothing else to contribute to the discussion but the error was bugging me.

Haha yes that's it. But while we're correcting errors... "Happiness."

+1

Well, although I agree that was petty, the title was, in fact, spelled "Happyness."

I checked and you're right. I also checked and that is definitely competely wrong for spelling. So does anyone know why they arbitrarily decided to spell it with a "y?" Usually something like that is done in the interest of style, but I can't think of any reason to do it...

Will Smith's son spent his afternoons at a very poor day care center. The foreign owner misspelled the word "happiness" in the name of the center. Will Smith discusses the error and how it was representative of his family's shambled state of affairs.

It's an excellent movie. I highly recommend it.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

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darkkermit
Posts: 11,204
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1/5/2012 3:25:04 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/5/2012 1:48:28 AM, Maikuru wrote:
At 1/4/2012 6:03:03 PM, Lasagna wrote:

I watched a movie with Denzel Washington a few years back, and it was a rags-to-riches story of a guy who makes it big by working harder than his peers (basically). At one point, while he's working hard to beat out the others, he notes that the other competitors for the job take casual water breaks every hour or so, and he decides not to do that because he can make up several minutes at a time (and eventually uses techniques like this to outperform them).

The movie was The Pursuit of Happyness and the actor was Will Smith. I have nothing else to contribute to the discussion but the error was bugging me.

And it was also based on a true story with tons of BS thrown into it.
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brian_eggleston
Posts: 3,347
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1/7/2012 3:54:10 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/3/2012 5:42:26 PM, goodwill wrote:
When is the best time to get married?

12 o'clock, midday.

And Saturday is the best day.

After the service, the guests retire to a nearby hotel for the wedding breakfast and in the evening one holds the wedding reception at a function hall.

That's what I did when I got married.
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Osiris
Posts: 265
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1/9/2012 10:28:21 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/3/2012 5:42:26 PM, goodwill wrote:
When is the best time to get married?
I always believed that a man should get married when he is financially stable and is mature enough to become a father. it means that he should have a secure job that has enough income to feed at least 3 people (you, wife, kid). He also needs to be able to afford a car or two, and a house. Who can say in this day and age that he's financially qualified to have his own family?
Does it matter if you don't make enough money to get married?
At what age do people usually get married and why?
Can you get married and be happy as long as you love your spouse even though you don't have a decent job?
If you can get a better job later in life, should you get married right now or wait until you actually get the job?
Please share your thoughts. Thanks.

It's different for different people. That's it. I suppose you could say:

-When both are financially stable
-Are gainfully employed
-Stable mental status
-Share the same thought about having children and child rearing

, but again, it depends on the person. I personally am not in a huge rush to get married and I'm almost 23. Marriages fail a lot of the time in our country and I say if you have a healthy strong relationship without marriage then why rock the boat? You can live together, be in love, have children, and share bank accounts if you wanted to without being married. The only reason why I might push for marriage is for tax purposes, health insurance, or power of attorney.
"Common sense is not so common." -Voltaire