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Omg, sorry guys I need some serious support

Im_always_right
Posts: 203
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1/6/2012 10:05:38 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
I'm a complete mess. You guys might have heard about me and my bf, I used to talk about us a lot. Well he came to visit for 3 weeks during Christmas break, he has a semester of college starting in 6 days already paid for and everything. Well, he left this morning, and he's still at the airport but I had to come home before he left, so I miss him like crazy already.

And not even so much miss as that horrible pain you get where you want to scream and bawl and you get the snotty crying stuff happening and then you get yourself under control and you think your fine then 2 mins later your chest and stomache hurt again and your reduced to bawling again. I have never felt this horrible in my life, its fcking torture and I hate it.

I have no idea how to cope with this at all.
I don't cry. I may fight back tears, but I can't hold them back, I can't breathe, I'm surprised I can even type.

We've been together for 3 years, first serious relationship for both of us, and it hurts more than anything to separate at this point. And logically I know that there's no reason, it's basically going back to the way things were, him in Canada, me in Oklahoma, but now it's painful and idk how to cope with that kind of pain.
Lordknukle
Posts: 12,788
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1/6/2012 12:23:04 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
You do realize people invented Email, Skype, Telephones, and all the other sh!t for a reason? Skype him or some stuff like that.
Always, look into the future. Assuming he finishes college and assuming that you two stay together for a very long time and assuming that after college the world doesn't end, this break will potentially beneficial.
"Easy is the descent to Avernus, for the door to the Underworld lies upon both day and night. But to retrace your steps and return to the breezes above- that's the task, that's the toil."
BlackVoid
Posts: 9,170
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1/6/2012 12:38:58 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/6/2012 12:23:04 PM, Lordknukle wrote:
You do realize people invented Email, Skype, Telephones, and all the other sh!t for a reason? Skype him or some stuff like that.
Always, look into the future. Assuming he finishes college and assuming that you two stay together for a very long time and assuming that after college the world doesn't end, this break will potentially beneficial.

It sounds like in the previous three years they've actually, you know, been together. E-mail and Skype arent exactly the same thing.
brian_eggleston
Posts: 3,347
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1/6/2012 12:47:51 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/6/2012 10:05:38 AM, Im_always_right wrote:
I'm a complete mess. You guys might have heard about me and my bf, I used to talk about us a lot. Well he came to visit for 3 weeks during Christmas break, he has a semester of college starting in 6 days already paid for and everything. Well, he left this morning, and he's still at the airport but I had to come home before he left, so I miss him like crazy already.

And not even so much miss as that horrible pain you get where you want to scream and bawl and you get the snotty crying stuff happening and then you get yourself under control and you think your fine then 2 mins later your chest and stomache hurt again and your reduced to bawling again. I have never felt this horrible in my life, its fcking torture and I hate it.

I have no idea how to cope with this at all.
I don't cry. I may fight back tears, but I can't hold them back, I can't breathe, I'm surprised I can even type.

We've been together for 3 years, first serious relationship for both of us, and it hurts more than anything to separate at this point. And logically I know that there's no reason, it's basically going back to the way things were, him in Canada, me in Oklahoma, but now it's painful and idk how to cope with that kind of pain.

Hello lovelife, I haven't seen you on the forums for ages.

With regard to your angst, I would advise you to find another man in your own town as soon as possible because your boyfriend will be messing about with other girls behind your back when he's at college - that's a given.

That way, when you find out that he's been unfaithful to you, you won't feel so upset because you will have been unfaithful to him too.

I hope this advice helps.
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Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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1/6/2012 2:55:26 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/6/2012 10:05:38 AM, Im_always_right wrote:

We've been together for 3 years, first serious relationship for both of us, and it hurts more than anything to separate at this point. And logically I know that there's no reason, it's basically going back to the way things were, him in Canada, me in Oklahoma, but now it's painful and idk how to cope with that kind of pain.

I understand your pain and frustration and am sorry for what you are going through. My finance and I maintained a long distance relationship (she in California, me in New Jersey) for 10 years before she moved here. It was never easy, with some times simply more unbearable than others, but the kind of intense missing you're feeling now does lessen.

If the love is there, long distance is possible. Short visits like the one you just had with your boyfriend can sustain you for a long time and constant contact through other means will make the distance less palpable. My girlfriend and I would rack up roughly 9 hours on the phone each weekday and practically the entire day on weekends. That was our method and it worked for a ridiculously long time. Find what works for you guys and maximize it.

If I'm reading your post correctly, you've already been long distance with this guy for a while so you probably already have a routine in place. If so, this is just the sting you get after a visit. It's hard to get used to not seeing them again but it helps to talk about your time together and keep looking forward to your next chance to be together. Good luck!
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OberHerr
Posts: 13,062
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1/6/2012 3:13:19 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/6/2012 10:05:38 AM, Im_always_right wrote:
I'm a complete mess. You guys might have heard about me and my bf, I used to talk about us a lot. Well he came to visit for 3 weeks during Christmas break, he has a semester of college starting in 6 days already paid for and everything. Well, he left this morning, and he's still at the airport but I had to come home before he left, so I miss him like crazy already.

And not even so much miss as that horrible pain you get where you want to scream and bawl and you get the snotty crying stuff happening and then you get yourself under control and you think your fine then 2 mins later your chest and stomache hurt again and your reduced to bawling again. I have never felt this horrible in my life, its fcking torture and I hate it.

I have no idea how to cope with this at all.
I don't cry. I may fight back tears, but I can't hold them back, I can't breathe, I'm surprised I can even type.

We've been together for 3 years, first serious relationship for both of us, and it hurts more than anything to separate at this point. And logically I know that there's no reason, it's basically going back to the way things were, him in Canada, me in Oklahoma, but now it's painful and idk how to cope with that kind of pain.

Well, here is some advice from someone who doesn't know much, if anything on this subject.

1) Get a system to meet each other every so often if possible. (Assuming you don't already)

2) Talk over Skype, and stuff like that as much as possible, but not to much that it would get in the way.

3) Don't think about him to much. Try to keep yourself busy, and just be patient.

4) And above all BE FAITHFUL! Hopefully he will do the same.

Well, that's it, I wish you both luck!
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sadolite
Posts: 8,833
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1/6/2012 8:54:31 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/6/2012 10:05:38 AM, Im_always_right wrote:
I'm a complete mess. You guys might have heard about me and my bf, I used to talk about us a lot. Well he came to visit for 3 weeks during Christmas break, he has a semester of college starting in 6 days already paid for and everything. Well, he left this morning, and he's still at the airport but I had to come home before he left, so I miss him like crazy already.

And not even so much miss as that horrible pain you get where you want to scream and bawl and you get the snotty crying stuff happening and then you get yourself under control and you think your fine then 2 mins later your chest and stomache hurt again and your reduced to bawling again. I have never felt this horrible in my life, its fcking torture and I hate it.

I have no idea how to cope with this at all.
I don't cry. I may fight back tears, but I can't hold them back, I can't breathe, I'm surprised I can even type.

We've been together for 3 years, first serious relationship for both of us, and it hurts more than anything to separate at this point. And logically I know that there's no reason, it's basically going back to the way things were, him in Canada, me in Oklahoma, but now it's painful and idk how to cope with that kind of pain.

Your 17 LOL No one is worth crying over at that age, date somone else.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%
OberHerr
Posts: 13,062
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1/6/2012 9:57:14 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/6/2012 8:54:31 PM, sadolite wrote:
At 1/6/2012 10:05:38 AM, Im_always_right wrote:
I'm a complete mess. You guys might have heard about me and my bf, I used to talk about us a lot. Well he came to visit for 3 weeks during Christmas break, he has a semester of college starting in 6 days already paid for and everything. Well, he left this morning, and he's still at the airport but I had to come home before he left, so I miss him like crazy already.

And not even so much miss as that horrible pain you get where you want to scream and bawl and you get the snotty crying stuff happening and then you get yourself under control and you think your fine then 2 mins later your chest and stomache hurt again and your reduced to bawling again. I have never felt this horrible in my life, its fcking torture and I hate it.

I have no idea how to cope with this at all.
I don't cry. I may fight back tears, but I can't hold them back, I can't breathe, I'm surprised I can even type.

We've been together for 3 years, first serious relationship for both of us, and it hurts more than anything to separate at this point. And logically I know that there's no reason, it's basically going back to the way things were, him in Canada, me in Oklahoma, but now it's painful and idk how to cope with that kind of pain.

Your 17 LOL No one is worth crying over at that age, date somone else.

Jee.....thanks for the helpful advice.......(sarcasm)
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Im_always_right
Posts: 203
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1/6/2012 11:52:19 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Some of this did help actually. with his phone lost and his laptop dead and with a broken charger and him with only $100 left for food this month I doubt we will talk very much anytime soon.
OberHerr
Posts: 13,062
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1/7/2012 12:06:32 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/6/2012 11:52:19 PM, Im_always_right wrote:
Some of this did help actually. with his phone lost and his laptop dead and with a broken charger and him with only $100 left for food this month I doubt we will talk very much anytime soon.

Wow....thats rough. But, hey just work it out, and yeah......thats all I have.

Good luck to you both!
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Im_always_right
Posts: 203
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1/7/2012 5:09:51 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
thanks everyone

At 1/7/2012 11:38:50 AM, Rockylightning wrote:
Buy him a charger?

actually we have, it was supposed to come in two days ago (we bought overnight shipping...) but we will need to either ship it to him or try to find a way to change where it'll go. The only issue is, his address isn't his mailing address, idk what his mailing address is, and have no real way of asking right now.
It's just my luck...
sadolite
Posts: 8,833
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1/8/2012 8:43:55 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/6/2012 11:52:19 PM, Im_always_right wrote:
Some of this did help actually. with his phone lost and his laptop dead and with a broken charger and him with only $100 left for food this month I doubt we will talk very much anytime soon.

Move on, there are 150 million other fish in the sea to choose from. You are 17. What you think is important today will be utterly meaningless in 5 years or even next year. You don't poses wisdom yet. That is why you cry over a guy with nothing to offer. It's just as easy to marry a nice rich guy as a nice poor guy. Don't waste your time with penniless losers.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%
Im_always_right
Posts: 203
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1/9/2012 3:36:08 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/8/2012 8:43:55 PM, sadolite wrote:
At 1/6/2012 11:52:19 PM, Im_always_right wrote:
Some of this did help actually. with his phone lost and his laptop dead and with a broken charger and him with only $100 left for food this month I doubt we will talk very much anytime soon.

Move on, there are 150 million other fish in the sea to choose from. You are 17. What you think is important today will be utterly meaningless in 5 years or even next year. You don't poses wisdom yet. That is why you cry over a guy with nothing to offer. It's just as easy to marry a nice rich guy as a nice poor guy. Don't waste your time with penniless losers.

I love him for who he is and have for 3 years. I'm not going to leave him.
And to be honest I'd rather be with a poor person than with a rich one. I want to know for a fact that my success in life comes because of my hard work, not because I'm with someone that was born into it, or that makes enough money where me working isn't really important. I want to provide for myself and know for a fact that I am responsible for myself.
Plus I would never want to be in a situation where I doubt my ability to leave because of a financial situation. I am independent, and I will always want to live as such.

I hate the idea of ever being with someone that's rich, I much prefer poor people, but above all I prefer people that are nice. It's near impossible to find a nice rich person (not impossible, just hard).
I am very happy with this situation and I am no longer dying every second of everyday, yet I still love him and look forward to when we are legally married rather than just in spirit and mind.
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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1/9/2012 4:12:29 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/9/2012 3:52:40 PM, Thaddeus wrote:
Burn down his house :)

your talking about sadolite, right?
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
Thaddeus
Posts: 6,985
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1/9/2012 4:15:15 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/9/2012 4:12:29 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 1/9/2012 3:52:40 PM, Thaddeus wrote:
Burn down his house :)

your talking about sadolite, right?

Nope, but now you mention it I think you should burn his down too :)
Thaddeus
Posts: 6,985
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1/9/2012 4:16:39 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Don't worry about it lovelife, I'm more than happy to do it for you. I'm all set to go (plane ticket leaving in the morning, cash for petrol and lighter). All I need is an address.
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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1/10/2012 3:06:30 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I've had three long distance relationships. None of them worked out. Theoretically, only one of your relationships is going to "work out." It's either that or zero, so the odds aren't that great. Sadolite is right about your likely inevitable split, but that isn't helpful to you now while you are legitimately in pain.

My advice would be to use the fact that you have a boyfriend to your advantage in concentrating solely on yourself (rather than say chasing guys that are around you). I agree with Maikuru that you and your bf should communicate through any means permissible, but other than that, make sure you're okay - that you're doing well in school, that you're working hard, that you're staying healthy, and overall just bettering yourself.

Also, one thing I know about long distance relationships is that they can be very expensive. Between travel and means of communication (I paid a sh!t ton for my cell phone bill), make sure again that you don't put your relationship first insofar as investing all of your time and especially money into this. You have to put yourself first, because you dunno what to expect from this relationship yet you know you have to live with the repercussions of your choices no matter what.

If both of you are committed, things will be be okay. Eventually you'll find a way to be together and/or decide to go your separate ways. I've had a few devastating break-ups, and no matter how bad it seems, always remember that life goes on and it does get better. Whatever happens, you'll be fine :) Enjoy your time together and make the best of your time apart. But seriously - he's going off to college. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst. I don't mean to sound insensitive or negative, but yeah...
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Mirza
Posts: 16,992
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1/10/2012 3:26:27 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
How about marrying him? Then if he wants to split, he'd have to meet you once more to file a divorce and get it all sorted out, and just when he sees you again he might let the relationship continue!
imabench
Posts: 21,204
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1/10/2012 4:39:43 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I hate to be "that guy" but i really dont think its going to work out and that your better off breaking up with him.......... (warning, i have never been in a relationship, therefore i dont know sh*t about them, keep that in mind before you hate on my input, thank you)
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OberHerr
Posts: 13,062
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1/10/2012 5:08:45 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/9/2012 4:16:39 PM, Thaddeus wrote:
Don't worry about it lovelife, I'm more than happy to do it for you. I'm all set to go (plane ticket leaving in the morning, cash for petrol and lighter). All I need is an address.

Hey, pick me up on the way. I got all this unused napalm in my room, and I would just hate for it to go to waste.
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Thaddeus
Posts: 6,985
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1/10/2012 6:31:08 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/10/2012 5:08:45 PM, OberHerr wrote:
At 1/9/2012 4:16:39 PM, Thaddeus wrote:
Don't worry about it lovelife, I'm more than happy to do it for you. I'm all set to go (plane ticket leaving in the morning, cash for petrol and lighter). All I need is an address.

Hey, pick me up on the way. I got all this unused napalm in my room, and I would just hate for it to go to waste.

Damn. Its a pity you're a minor - I need a new flamethrowing sidekick to have adventures with (I seem to be going through them faster than toilet paper after curry night)
OberHerr
Posts: 13,062
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1/10/2012 9:19:06 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/10/2012 6:31:08 PM, Thaddeus wrote:
At 1/10/2012 5:08:45 PM, OberHerr wrote:
At 1/9/2012 4:16:39 PM, Thaddeus wrote:
Don't worry about it lovelife, I'm more than happy to do it for you. I'm all set to go (plane ticket leaving in the morning, cash for petrol and lighter). All I need is an address.

Hey, pick me up on the way. I got all this unused napalm in my room, and I would just hate for it to go to waste.

Damn. Its a pity you're a minor - I need a new flamethrowing sidekick to have adventures with (I seem to be going through them faster than toilet paper after curry night)

Wait, so I have to be of age in order to do these things with you.......but you don't care if I die along the way?

http://i3.kym-cdn.com...
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sadolite
Posts: 8,833
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1/16/2012 11:17:24 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/9/2012 3:36:08 PM, Im_always_right wrote:
At 1/8/2012 8:43:55 PM, sadolite wrote:
At 1/6/2012 11:52:19 PM, Im_always_right wrote:
Some of this did help actually. with his phone lost and his laptop dead and with a broken charger and him with only $100 left for food this month I doubt we will talk very much anytime soon.

Move on, there are 150 million other fish in the sea to choose from. You are 17. What you think is important today will be utterly meaningless in 5 years or even next year. You don't poses wisdom yet. That is why you cry over a guy with nothing to offer. It's just as easy to marry a nice rich guy as a nice poor guy. Don't waste your time with penniless losers.

I love him for who he is and have for 3 years. I'm not going to leave him.
And to be honest I'd rather be with a poor person than with a rich one. I want to know for a fact that my success in life comes because of my hard work, not because I'm with someone that was born into it, or that makes enough money where me working isn't really important. I want to provide for myself and know for a fact that I am responsible for myself.
Plus I would never want to be in a situation where I doubt my ability to leave because of a financial situation. I am independent, and I will always want to live as such.

I hate the idea of ever being with someone that's rich, I much prefer poor people, but above all I prefer people that are nice. It's near impossible to find a nice rich person (not impossible, just hard).
I am very happy with this situation and I am no longer dying every second of everyday, yet I still love him and look forward to when we are legally married rather than just in spirit and mind.

Silly rabbit you have so much to learn about life. You will leave him, I'll bet money on it.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%