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How to say NO?

gerrandesquire
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1/27/2012 6:24:38 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
This is pretty embarrassing, but could anyone please guide me as to how one can say no. There is this new scam in the college where supposedly deaf, dumb, blind accident victims association ask for donations. And as hard as I try, It seems physically impossible to say no. I have lost about 250 Rs. to this scam which is a lot as my daily allowance is 50 Rs.

The latest one was me and some friends were at this ground just sitting and lazing around when a deaf person enters. This deaf person enters and hands me a pamphlet. It has these bible sayings about how you should help people and everything. I look helplessly at my friends. They smirk at me. I look back at the person and try to ask him the name of his organisation. He smiles at me widely and points at the 'Thank you so much' on his card. I try again and the shows me a paragraph on the bible page which I presume says something about how thankful he is. I look at him, he smiles more widely.

I give up and hand him a 100.

And this is the third time I'm getting scammed.

Halp.
DevonNetzley
Posts: 187
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1/27/2012 7:44:43 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/27/2012 6:24:38 AM, gerrandesquire wrote:
This is pretty embarrassing, but could anyone please guide me as to how one can say no. There is this new scam in the college where supposedly deaf, dumb, blind accident victims association ask for donations. And as hard as I try, It seems physically impossible to say no. I have lost about 250 Rs. to this scam which is a lot as my daily allowance is 50 Rs.

The latest one was me and some friends were at this ground just sitting and lazing around when a deaf person enters. This deaf person enters and hands me a pamphlet. It has these bible sayings about how you should help people and everything. I look helplessly at my friends. They smirk at me. I look back at the person and try to ask him the name of his organisation. He smiles at me widely and points at the 'Thank you so much' on his card. I try again and the shows me a paragraph on the bible page which I presume says something about how thankful he is. I look at him, he smiles more widely.

I give up and hand him a 100.

And this is the third time I'm getting scammed.

Halp.

Well all i can say is, the easiest way is to say no. You already said it "It was a scam" so why not just look past their lies and false masks that they wear and see them for what they are. Scum. Thats how i do it. On another note i even turned down some girl scouts too. But yeah how to say no is just say no. You can even think of it like D.A.R.E. if that helps too.
"If you truly want to do something, the only person standing in your way is yourself"
Ren
Posts: 7,102
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1/27/2012 7:51:58 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Know with confidence that you've already given them a significant amount and consider the well dry for that particular "organization."

On the other hand, I'm not sure I have a grasp of the monetary proportions we're dealing with here. As I understand it, Rupees are equivalent to about 2 cents, but I'm sure that's not how the currency is domestically applied. Would it be analogous to a cent, a dollar, 50 cents, what?

How much would a burger cost?

How much is a trip to the movies?
PARADIGM_L0ST
Posts: 6,958
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1/27/2012 9:33:01 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/27/2012 6:24:38 AM, gerrandesquire wrote:
This is pretty embarrassing, but could anyone please guide me as to how one can say no. There is this new scam in the college where supposedly deaf, dumb, blind accident victims association ask for donations. And as hard as I try, It seems physically impossible to say no. I have lost about 250 Rs. to this scam which is a lot as my daily allowance is 50 Rs.:

I know your type, and I'm sure I don't need to chastize you about what you probably already know -- which is that you are a push-over. You seem to be an extreme Type-B personality. You're a people-pleaser, which is not in and of itself a bad thing, except that scam artists prey on people like you.

What I would suggest is starting off small, because you cannot change your innate personality overnight. When you are approached, you need to explain that you have given plenty of money and simply cannot afford to give when you need can barely help yourself.

If they are persistent, tell them that you've explained yourself and nothing is going to change your mind. Eventually you will be able to muster the courage to let them have it and call them out on their manipulative tactics.
"Have you ever considered suicide? If not, please do." -- Mouthwash (to Inferno)
baggins
Posts: 855
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1/27/2012 10:17:56 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/27/2012 6:24:38 AM, gerrandesquire wrote:
This is pretty embarrassing, but could anyone please guide me as to how one can say no. There is this new scam in the college where supposedly deaf, dumb, blind accident victims association ask for donations. And as hard as I try, It seems physically impossible to say no. I have lost about 250 Rs. to this scam which is a lot as my daily allowance is 50 Rs.

The latest one was me and some friends were at this ground just sitting and lazing around when a deaf person enters. This deaf person enters and hands me a pamphlet. It has these bible sayings about how you should help people and everything. I look helplessly at my friends. They smirk at me. I look back at the person and try to ask him the name of his organisation. He smiles at me widely and points at the 'Thank you so much' on his card. I try again and the shows me a paragraph on the bible page which I presume says something about how thankful he is. I look at him, he smiles more widely.

I give up and hand him a 100.

And this is the third time I'm getting scammed.

Halp.

Step 1: Tell him you have already paid his 'friend'.
Step 2: Wait a moment.
Step 3: Smile. Return him the pamphlet and wave him away.

Don't even attempt a lengthy explanation - and definitely not in sign language. The fellow will just smile and you will get flustered. Rest assure that there will be no confrontation - as confrontation will not suit the him. The only remaining question is how long he will persist...

In case he is really deaf - step 1 will still be useful for YOUR friends. I assume you are worried about how they will react.

BTW, when you paid - did you get a receipt. In case not - it is almost certainly a scam. In case you did - it is unlikely to be scam you have most likely spent money in something useful - even if unwillingly. (If the receipts are fake - the person would be running a huge risk and would be arrested sooner or later)
The Holy Quran 29:19-20

See they not how Allah originates creation, then repeats it: truly that is easy for Allah.

Say: "Travel through the earth and see how Allah did originate creation; so will Allah produce a later creation: for Allah has power over all things.
baggins
Posts: 855
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1/27/2012 10:24:23 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
IMO, it is a good idea to spend money in charity. However you should pay in causes you believe in, and you should decide the amount based on your perception and not based on social awkwardness.
The Holy Quran 29:19-20

See they not how Allah originates creation, then repeats it: truly that is easy for Allah.

Say: "Travel through the earth and see how Allah did originate creation; so will Allah produce a later creation: for Allah has power over all things.
gerrandesquire
Posts: 1,258
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1/27/2012 12:39:25 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/27/2012 7:51:58 AM, Ren wrote:
Know with confidence that you've already given them a significant amount and consider the well dry for that particular "organization."

On the other hand, I'm not sure I have a grasp of the monetary proportions we're dealing with here. As I understand it, Rupees are equivalent to about 2 cents, but I'm sure that's not how the currency is domestically applied. Would it be analogous to a cent, a dollar, 50 cents, what?

If we take thepurchasing power parity. A dollar equals 19 rupees.

How much would a burger cost?

The cheapest one costs 25 rupees, tasty ones cost 70.

How much is a trip to movies?

150.
darkkermit
Posts: 11,204
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1/27/2012 1:24:30 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/27/2012 12:39:25 PM, gerrandesquire wrote:
At 1/27/2012 7:51:58 AM, Ren wrote:
Know with confidence that you've already given them a significant amount and consider the well dry for that particular "organization."

On the other hand, I'm not sure I have a grasp of the monetary proportions we're dealing with here. As I understand it, Rupees are equivalent to about 2 cents, but I'm sure that's not how the currency is domestically applied. Would it be analogous to a cent, a dollar, 50 cents, what?

If we take thepurchasing power parity. A dollar equals 19 rupees.


Although the exchange rate is $1 equals 49.3 rupees.
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nonentity
Posts: 5,008
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1/27/2012 1:59:55 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/27/2012 6:24:38 AM, gerrandesquire wrote:
This is pretty embarrassing, but could anyone please guide me as to how one can say no. There is this new scam in the college where supposedly deaf, dumb, blind accident victims association ask for donations. And as hard as I try, It seems physically impossible to say no. I have lost about 250 Rs. to this scam which is a lot as my daily allowance is 50 Rs.

The latest one was me and some friends were at this ground just sitting and lazing around when a deaf person enters. This deaf person enters and hands me a pamphlet. It has these bible sayings about how you should help people and everything. I look helplessly at my friends. They smirk at me. I look back at the person and try to ask him the name of his organisation. He smiles at me widely and points at the 'Thank you so much' on his card. I try again and the shows me a paragraph on the bible page which I presume says something about how thankful he is. I look at him, he smiles more widely.

I give up and hand him a 100.

And this is the third time I'm getting scammed.

Halp.

I just did the exchange and 250 rupees is less than $5 Canadian :/ Your daily allowance is 91 cents?? Oh man...

Honestly, you just have to buck up. On my campus people are always soliciting for money. I just say "I'm sorry, I'm a student. I wish someone would set up donations for me, too."

I'm a jerk.

Why do you think you're being scammed? Do you think they're lying about their disabilities?
PARADIGM_L0ST
Posts: 6,958
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1/27/2012 2:14:19 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/27/2012 2:09:43 PM, Thaddeus wrote:
Find out where they live. Then burn their house down.:

I approve this message.
"Have you ever considered suicide? If not, please do." -- Mouthwash (to Inferno)
TUF
Posts: 21,309
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1/27/2012 2:25:53 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
As a sales representative, people tell me no every single day, so from my understanding, most people say no very easily.
By the way, would you like to purchase some satellite television? ;-)
"I've got to go and grab a shirt" ~ Airmax1227
johnnyboy54
Posts: 6,362
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1/27/2012 3:31:05 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/27/2012 2:09:43 PM, Thaddeus wrote:
Find out where they live. Then burn their house down.

+1
I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.
Ragnar_Rahl
Posts: 19,297
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1/27/2012 3:34:36 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/27/2012 7:51:40 AM, bcresmer wrote:
so if a guy says he gonna rape u, are u gonna let him?

Probably will work once, then she'll learn to say no.
It came to be at its height. It was commanded to command. It was a capital before its first stone was laid. It was a monument to the spirit of man.
Ren
Posts: 7,102
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1/27/2012 6:07:47 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/27/2012 3:34:36 PM, Ragnar_Rahl wrote:
At 1/27/2012 7:51:40 AM, bcresmer wrote:
so if a guy says he gonna rape u, are u gonna let him?

Probably will work once, then she'll learn to say no.

Not only offensive, but also impossible. :P
Ren
Posts: 7,102
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1/27/2012 6:09:06 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/27/2012 1:24:30 PM, darkkermit wrote:
At 1/27/2012 12:39:25 PM, gerrandesquire wrote:
At 1/27/2012 7:51:58 AM, Ren wrote:
Know with confidence that you've already given them a significant amount and consider the well dry for that particular "organization."

On the other hand, I'm not sure I have a grasp of the monetary proportions we're dealing with here. As I understand it, Rupees are equivalent to about 2 cents, but I'm sure that's not how the currency is domestically applied. Would it be analogous to a cent, a dollar, 50 cents, what?

If we take thepurchasing power parity. A dollar equals 19 rupees.


Although the exchange rate is $1 equals 49.3 rupees.

Purchasing power and exchange rate are two entirely different things.

That's why although I already knew the exchange rate, I still asked.
Ren
Posts: 7,102
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1/27/2012 6:10:18 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/27/2012 12:39:25 PM, gerrandesquire wrote:
At 1/27/2012 7:51:58 AM, Ren wrote:
Know with confidence that you've already given them a significant amount and consider the well dry for that particular "organization."

On the other hand, I'm not sure I have a grasp of the monetary proportions we're dealing with here. As I understand it, Rupees are equivalent to about 2 cents, but I'm sure that's not how the currency is domestically applied. Would it be analogous to a cent, a dollar, 50 cents, what?

If we take thepurchasing power parity. A dollar equals 19 rupees.

Oh, okay.

So, you've given them about $15-$18? Cheapskate.

Lol, I kid.

If it's really bothering you, just don't.

Being begrudgingly charitable is tantamount to not being charitable at all... or being pretentious, imo.
gerrandesquire
Posts: 1,258
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1/27/2012 9:26:40 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/27/2012 7:51:40 AM, bcresmer wrote:
so if a guy says he gonna rape u, are u gonna let him?

I can't actually ka-raa-tay a poor deaf man with puppy dog eyes asking me for money because he's deaf.
Thaddeus
Posts: 6,985
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1/27/2012 9:29:50 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/27/2012 9:26:40 PM, gerrandesquire wrote:
At 1/27/2012 7:51:40 AM, bcresmer wrote:
so if a guy says he gonna rape u, are u gonna let him?

I can't actually ka-raa-tay a poor deaf man with puppy dog eyes asking me for money because he's deaf.

I punch them because they are deaf. You see I have a problem with homophones. When I see a deaf person I assume they are the grim reaper and try to destroy them. This is less insane than it sounds because the grim reaper tries to kill me on a regular basis.
gerrandesquire
Posts: 1,258
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1/27/2012 9:33:51 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/27/2012 9:33:01 AM, PARADIGM_L0ST wrote:
At 1/27/2012 6:24:38 AM, gerrandesquire wrote:
This is pretty embarrassing, but could anyone please guide me as to how one can say no. There is this new scam in the college where supposedly deaf, dumb, blind accident victims association ask for donations. And as hard as I try, It seems physically impossible to say no. I have lost about 250 Rs. to this scam which is a lot as my daily allowance is 50 Rs.:

I know your type, and I'm sure I don't need to chastize you about what you probably already know -- which is that you are a push-over. You seem to be an extreme Type-B personality. You're a people-pleaser, which is not in and of itself a bad thing, except that scam artists prey on people like you.

Yes, I know. I guess I thought that I was pretty much over the scammers but I guess not.

What I would suggest is starting off small, because you cannot change your innate personality overnight. When you are approached, you need to explain that you have given plenty of money and simply cannot afford to give when you need can barely help yourself.

If they are persistent, tell them that you've explained yourself and nothing is going to change your mind. Eventually you will be able to muster the courage to let them have it and call them out on their manipulative tactics.

Yeah, this is a pretty good advice. Right now, it seems a far stretch. I don't really have a problem with normal people, because they can actually listen to your explanation, but with deaf, blind, or such people, you can only give word answers. Explainations don't work. I... I'll definitely need to work on assertiveness.
gerrandesquire
Posts: 1,258
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1/27/2012 9:38:44 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/27/2012 10:17:56 AM, baggins wrote:
At 1/27/2012 6:24:38 AM, gerrandesquire wrote:
This is pretty embarrassing, but could anyone please guide me as to how one can say no. There is this new scam in the college where supposedly deaf, dumb, blind accident victims association ask for donations. And as hard as I try, It seems physically impossible to say no. I have lost about 250 Rs. to this scam which is a lot as my daily allowance is 50 Rs.

The latest one was me and some friends were at this ground just sitting and lazing around when a deaf person enters. This deaf person enters and hands me a pamphlet. It has these bible sayings about how you should help people and everything. I look helplessly at my friends. They smirk at me. I look back at the person and try to ask him the name of his organisation. He smiles at me widely and points at the 'Thank you so much' on his card. I try again and the shows me a paragraph on the bible page which I presume says something about how thankful he is. I look at him, he smiles more widely.

I give up and hand him a 100.

And this is the third time I'm getting scammed.

Halp.

Step 1: Tell him you have already paid his 'friend'.
Step 2: Wait a moment.
Step 3: Smile. Return him the pamphlet and wave him away.

I can see myself doing this. Don't say no,just say you've already paid. That could work.Thanks.

Don't even attempt a lengthy explanation - and definitely not in sign language. The fellow will just smile and you will get flustered. Rest assure that there will be no confrontation - as confrontation will not suit the him. The only remaining question is how long he will persist...

In case he is really deaf - step 1 will still be useful for YOUR friends. I assume you are worried about how they will react.

BTW, when you paid - did you get a receipt. In case not - it is almost certainly a scam. In case you did - it is unlikely to be scam you have most likely spent money in something useful - even if unwillingly. (If the receipts are fake - the person would be running a huge risk and would be arrested sooner or later)

Nope. Forget receipt, there wasn't even a organisation name. Or anything. The cruel thing was that I knew it was a scam, but still could not do anything.
gerrandesquire
Posts: 1,258
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1/27/2012 9:45:17 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/27/2012 1:59:55 PM, nonentity wrote:
At 1/27/2012 6:24:38 AM, gerrandesquire wrote:
This is pretty embarrassing, but could anyone please guide me as to how one can say no. There is this new scam in the college where supposedly deaf, dumb, blind accident victims association ask for donations. And as hard as I try, It seems physically impossible to say no. I have lost about 250 Rs. to this scam which is a lot as my daily allowance is 50 Rs.

The latest one was me and some friends were at this ground just sitting and lazing around when a deaf person enters. This deaf person enters and hands me a pamphlet. It has these bible sayings about how you should help people and everything. I look helplessly at my friends. They smirk at me. I look back at the person and try to ask him the name of his organisation. He smiles at me widely and points at the 'Thank you so much' on his card. I try again and the shows me a paragraph on the bible page which I presume says something about how thankful he is. I look at him, he smiles more widely.

I give up and hand him a 100.

And this is the third time I'm getting scammed.

Halp.

I just did the exchange and 250 rupees is less than $5 Canadian :/ Your daily allowance is 91 cents?? Oh man...

That's all I need. Of course I have more than that every time I go to college, which is how I am able to give it to 'charity', but still. Considering I need to travel inter state to college, it's not that less. Just, yeah, a little less.

Honestly, you just have to buck up. On my campus people are always soliciting for money. I just say "I'm sorry, I'm a student. I wish someone would set up donations for me, too."

I'm a jerk.

Why do you think you're being scammed? Do you think they're lying about their disabilities?

No, they are disabled. But they are using that fact to pull at my emotional strings. I'll buck up for an organization if they are honestly helping people. But I don't even know where the money is going.... He might as well party with his friends with my money.
gerrandesquire
Posts: 1,258
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1/27/2012 9:50:31 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/27/2012 6:10:18 PM, Ren wrote:
At 1/27/2012 12:39:25 PM, gerrandesquire wrote:
At 1/27/2012 7:51:58 AM, Ren wrote:
Know with confidence that you've already given them a significant amount and consider the well dry for that particular "organization."

On the other hand, I'm not sure I have a grasp of the monetary proportions we're dealing with here. As I understand it, Rupees are equivalent to about 2 cents, but I'm sure that's not how the currency is domestically applied. Would it be analogous to a cent, a dollar, 50 cents, what?

If we take thepurchasing power parity. A dollar equals 19 rupees.

Oh, okay.

So, you've given them about $15-$18? Cheapskate.

It's a lot more than what I would have given them if I would have followed my heart. Or mind.

Lol, I kid.

If it's really bothering you, just don't.

Being begrudgingly charitable is tantamount to not being charitable at all... or being pretentious, imo.

Yeah that's my stance too. That is why the situation is so aggravating. I just need to stop thinking about 'what others would think'.
gerrandesquire
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1/27/2012 9:53:38 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/27/2012 3:34:36 PM, Ragnar_Rahl wrote:
At 1/27/2012 7:51:40 AM, bcresmer wrote:
so if a guy says he gonna rape u, are u gonna let him?

Probably will work once, then she'll learn to say no.

Punch to face, then stomach. Knee to groin and step on the foot.

I saw the film in middle school.
gerrandesquire
Posts: 1,258
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1/27/2012 9:57:25 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/27/2012 6:12:15 PM, UnStupendousMan wrote:
On a completely unrelated note, didn't they redesigned the rupee symbol?

Yeah. But it's still not on the keyboards. So we have to the old fashioned way. It's an american conspiracy, really. This shakes the investors confidence in the currency ( they don't even have a symbol, derps) and weaken its value.

It fell to 53 point something last December. /overwhelming evidence.
Ragnar_Rahl
Posts: 19,297
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1/27/2012 10:02:30 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/27/2012 9:53:38 PM, gerrandesquire wrote:
At 1/27/2012 3:34:36 PM, Ragnar_Rahl wrote:
At 1/27/2012 7:51:40 AM, bcresmer wrote:
so if a guy says he gonna rape u, are u gonna let him?

Probably will work once, then she'll learn to say no.

Punch to face, then stomach. Knee to groin and step on the foot.

I saw the film in middle school.

Which means the rapist did too, then took martial arts lessons and concentrated on how to counter that combo.

Also, LOL@ thinking seeing a film gives you effective martial arts skills.

Anyway, better analogy: Guy says he really wants to have consensual sex with you pleasepleasepleasepleaseomgplease. Are you gonna let him?
It came to be at its height. It was commanded to command. It was a capital before its first stone was laid. It was a monument to the spirit of man.