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Pregnant Friend...

WriterSelbe
Posts: 410
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2/21/2012 5:28:42 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I have/had a friend who was a bad influence so I stopped texting and talking to her, though she never text me anyway. However, last week out of the blue, she suddenly text me asking, "Can you keep a secret?" So, not knowing what was going on, I said sure. She then asked me to call her. When I called her up, she told me she was pregnant, four months, and she had broken up with all her boyfriends (she had a lot of them, boyfriends, but they didn't know and most of them were older than her).

She said she hadn't told anyone within our school system yet, but she had told an ex-boyfriend of hers who was struggling and feeling down because he'd gotten his girlfriend pregnant. Anyway, so I listened to her talk and heard her plan: she was keeping the baby, but she would run away if her family found out.

Knowing this information, I still wasn't quite sure if she was telling the truth that she was pregnant. However, I knew she did drugs, smoked, and partied quite a bit... and she was still having sex. Even if she was lying, she had an issue that should be addressed.

So, yesterday I talked to the school counselor. The girl goes to the middle school sect of our school system and I'm a freshman in the high school. The counselor proceeded to call up the middle school counselor, who then proceeded to call up the girl's mom to 'verify' the pregnancy, something the mom quickly denied seeing as her daughter hadn't told her about it anyway.

However, later that night I got a text from a sophomore friend of the pregnant girl that said, "Are you stupid?" The girl hadn't originally intended to confide in that person, but here's what I speculated: After returning home from school, the pregnant girl was confronted by her mom about her alleged pregnancy, and it led to a fight (also, one must note the mom is negligent, the family is dysfunctional and divorced, and also financially troubled), after which the pregnant girl proceeded to confide in the sophomore because she couldn't confide in me because I was the one who got her in trouble.

Now I'm second-guessing my actions. Today, whenever I saw the sophomore I turned the other direction so she never had the opportunity to catch me, but she's very pushy, overbearing, and somewhat ostracized so it is very likely she will blame me for this and consistently harass me to get on the pregnant girl's good side.

I realize that I'm being a better friend. Comparing the the sophomore and I, one could say that I'm the one who wants to see the pregnant friend with a steady income and a life in ten years while she only wishes for a friendship that revolves around her lying for the pregnant girl.

However, I can't keep myself from needlessly dwelling on this. I don't know what to do if the girl confronts me, I don't know how to keep myself from feeling bad (like what if she wasn't pregnant, no matter how many times I justify myself), and just hating myself.
Lordknukle
Posts: 12,788
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2/21/2012 5:32:26 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
It was justified. Regardless of what these people think, you did the right thing by telling the parent. At least as far as I can tell, the girl is still with her mom. If done otherwise, the girl might have ran away which would have been highly disastrous for her and her family. For now, it seems as if the family will most likely help the child through her pregnancy.

Some authoritarian part of me is yapping about sterilization. This might have been a perfect scenario for it.
"Easy is the descent to Avernus, for the door to the Underworld lies upon both day and night. But to retrace your steps and return to the breezes above- that's the task, that's the toil."
kyro90
Posts: 4,400
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2/21/2012 5:37:42 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Ouch, that sucks. That must be a really hard secret to keep. I too keep some serious secrets but they are mostly about me...
Allow me to give you my card....
Oh you cant read? Pitty. It says,
You are now holding the card of the Awesome-Steller-Second-to-none-hot-cool-funny-incredible-magical-beautious-cuddly-warm-kitty-kat-like Secretary
WriterSelbe
Posts: 410
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2/21/2012 5:39:16 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 2/21/2012 5:37:42 PM, kyro90 wrote:
Ouch, that sucks. That must be a really hard secret to keep. I too keep some serious secrets but they are mostly about me...

Well, I told the counselor. She was being harmful to the baby with her drug habits and her actions proved that she wasn't really responsible enough to make her own decisions regarding the baby... but I still feel bad.
kyro90
Posts: 4,400
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2/21/2012 5:51:08 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 2/21/2012 5:39:16 PM, WriterSelbe wrote:
At 2/21/2012 5:37:42 PM, kyro90 wrote:
Ouch, that sucks. That must be a really hard secret to keep. I too keep some serious secrets but they are mostly about me...

Well, I told the counselor. She was being harmful to the baby with her drug habits and her actions proved that she wasn't really responsible enough to make her own decisions regarding the baby... but I still feel bad.

This may make you feel worse or not Idk, but Whenever I have a secret I must keep, I always listen to this song.....
Allow me to give you my card....
Oh you cant read? Pitty. It says,
You are now holding the card of the Awesome-Steller-Second-to-none-hot-cool-funny-incredible-magical-beautious-cuddly-warm-kitty-kat-like Secretary
WriterSelbe
Posts: 410
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2/21/2012 5:53:41 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 2/21/2012 5:51:08 PM, kyro90 wrote:
At 2/21/2012 5:39:16 PM, WriterSelbe wrote:
At 2/21/2012 5:37:42 PM, kyro90 wrote:
Ouch, that sucks. That must be a really hard secret to keep. I too keep some serious secrets but they are mostly about me...

Well, I told the counselor. She was being harmful to the baby with her drug habits and her actions proved that she wasn't really responsible enough to make her own decisions regarding the baby... but I still feel bad.

This may make you feel worse or not Idk, but Whenever I have a secret I must keep, I always listen to this song.....


But the problem is that I didn't keep the secret. I told it to a counselor to help her, but I know she'll resent me and I'll be the target of harrassment for helping her...
PeacefulChaos
Posts: 2,610
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2/21/2012 5:54:52 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 2/21/2012 5:53:41 PM, WriterSelbe wrote:
At 2/21/2012 5:51:08 PM, kyro90 wrote:
At 2/21/2012 5:39:16 PM, WriterSelbe wrote:
At 2/21/2012 5:37:42 PM, kyro90 wrote:
Ouch, that sucks. That must be a really hard secret to keep. I too keep some serious secrets but they are mostly about me...

Well, I told the counselor. She was being harmful to the baby with her drug habits and her actions proved that she wasn't really responsible enough to make her own decisions regarding the baby... but I still feel bad.

This may make you feel worse or not Idk, but Whenever I have a secret I must keep, I always listen to this song.....


But the problem is that I didn't keep the secret. I told it to a counselor to help her, but I know she'll resent me and I'll be the target of harrassment for helping her...

The consequences would have been much worse if you hadn't told the counselor.
kyro90
Posts: 4,400
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2/21/2012 5:56:51 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 2/21/2012 5:53:41 PM, WriterSelbe wrote:
At 2/21/2012 5:51:08 PM, kyro90 wrote:
At 2/21/2012 5:39:16 PM, WriterSelbe wrote:
At 2/21/2012 5:37:42 PM, kyro90 wrote:
Ouch, that sucks. That must be a really hard secret to keep. I too keep some serious secrets but they are mostly about me...

Well, I told the counselor. She was being harmful to the baby with her drug habits and her actions proved that she wasn't really responsible enough to make her own decisions regarding the baby... but I still feel bad.

This may make you feel worse or not Idk, but Whenever I have a secret I must keep, I always listen to this song.....


But the problem is that I didn't keep the secret. I told it to a counselor to help her, but I know she'll resent me and I'll be the target of harrassment for helping her...

I know but I am saying in general. Plus when you first heard the secret you were keeping it right?
Allow me to give you my card....
Oh you cant read? Pitty. It says,
You are now holding the card of the Awesome-Steller-Second-to-none-hot-cool-funny-incredible-magical-beautious-cuddly-warm-kitty-kat-like Secretary
WriterSelbe
Posts: 410
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2/21/2012 5:59:48 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 2/21/2012 5:56:51 PM, kyro90 wrote:
At 2/21/2012 5:53:41 PM, WriterSelbe wrote:
At 2/21/2012 5:51:08 PM, kyro90 wrote:
At 2/21/2012 5:39:16 PM, WriterSelbe wrote:
At 2/21/2012 5:37:42 PM, kyro90 wrote:
Ouch, that sucks. That must be a really hard secret to keep. I too keep some serious secrets but they are mostly about me...

Well, I told the counselor. She was being harmful to the baby with her drug habits and her actions proved that she wasn't really responsible enough to make her own decisions regarding the baby... but I still feel bad.

This may make you feel worse or not Idk, but Whenever I have a secret I must keep, I always listen to this song.....


But the problem is that I didn't keep the secret. I told it to a counselor to help her, but I know she'll resent me and I'll be the target of harrassment for helping her...

I know but I am saying in general. Plus when you first heard the secret you were keeping it right?

I still am. I can't talk about it with anyone and it's driving me crazy. If anyone else finds out it'll be through the pregnant girl or her friend. Thanks for the song. I appreciate it.
kyro90
Posts: 4,400
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2/21/2012 6:02:47 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 2/21/2012 5:59:48 PM, WriterSelbe wrote:
At 2/21/2012 5:56:51 PM, kyro90 wrote:
At 2/21/2012 5:53:41 PM, WriterSelbe wrote:
At 2/21/2012 5:51:08 PM, kyro90 wrote:
At 2/21/2012 5:39:16 PM, WriterSelbe wrote:
At 2/21/2012 5:37:42 PM, kyro90 wrote:
Ouch, that sucks. That must be a really hard secret to keep. I too keep some serious secrets but they are mostly about me...

Well, I told the counselor. She was being harmful to the baby with her drug habits and her actions proved that she wasn't really responsible enough to make her own decisions regarding the baby... but I still feel bad.

This may make you feel worse or not Idk, but Whenever I have a secret I must keep, I always listen to this song.....


But the problem is that I didn't keep the secret. I told it to a counselor to help her, but I know she'll resent me and I'll be the target of harrassment for helping her...

I know but I am saying in general. Plus when you first heard the secret you were keeping it right?

I still am. I can't talk about it with anyone and it's driving me crazy. If anyone else finds out it'll be through the pregnant girl or her friend. Thanks for the song. I appreciate it.

Heh, No prob. I actually have to keep some pretty serious secrets (Mostly about me lol), one of them is in this music video, its about my brother though, not me.
Allow me to give you my card....
Oh you cant read? Pitty. It says,
You are now holding the card of the Awesome-Steller-Second-to-none-hot-cool-funny-incredible-magical-beautious-cuddly-warm-kitty-kat-like Secretary
MarquisX
Posts: 925
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2/21/2012 6:12:11 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I disagree with everyone. You took the wrong course of action. She might not have been your friend but she trusted you and you betrayed her. Furthermore if you were really concerned about the baby or about the pregnant girl, you should have told her to stop being a stupid f*cking b*tch. You said the mother and family were worthless and the sophomore just wants the be on her side. Ain't nobody going to tell this girl the truth. A couple weeks ago, I'm with my boys, we just hanging out . Now they were drinking, normally i would too but I had to work the next morning. My friend gets wasted tries to drive home and we stop him. He gets violent, we knock him on his @$$ and take his keys. Made him sleep on the couch, he was mad as hell but you got to do what you got to do. You should have knocked your friend on her @ss.....not literally of course.
Sophisticated ignorance, write my curses in cursive
kyro90
Posts: 4,400
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2/21/2012 6:49:16 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 2/21/2012 6:12:11 PM, MarquisX wrote:
I disagree with everyone. You took the wrong course of action. She might not have been your friend but she trusted you and you betrayed her. Furthermore if you were really concerned about the baby or about the pregnant girl, you should have told her to stop being a stupid f*cking b*tch. You said the mother and family were worthless and the sophomore just wants the be on her side. Ain't nobody going to tell this girl the truth. A couple weeks ago, I'm with my boys, we just hanging out . Now they were drinking, normally i would too but I had to work the next morning. My friend gets wasted tries to drive home and we stop him. He gets violent, we knock him on his @$$ and take his keys. Made him sleep on the couch, he was mad as hell but you got to do what you got to do. You should have knocked your friend on her @ss.....not literally of course.

Lol, this is getting creepy.... *___*
Allow me to give you my card....
Oh you cant read? Pitty. It says,
You are now holding the card of the Awesome-Steller-Second-to-none-hot-cool-funny-incredible-magical-beautious-cuddly-warm-kitty-kat-like Secretary
OberHerr
Posts: 13,062
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2/21/2012 8:18:26 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I agreed an disagree.

Personally, I think, like MX, that you should have told her how selfish she was being to the baby, and how she should own up to her decisions
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kyro90
Posts: 4,400
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2/21/2012 8:27:24 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 2/21/2012 8:18:26 PM, OberHerr wrote:
I agreed an disagree.

Personally, I think, like MX, that you should have told her how selfish she was being to the baby, and how she should own up to her decisions

I understand how you feel but I also understand how the other person would feel. What if she is afraid of the conciquences? Nowadays, in our society, it is human nature to be afraid of what might happen if you take a certain path. Which is what that girl is probobly thinking.
Allow me to give you my card....
Oh you cant read? Pitty. It says,
You are now holding the card of the Awesome-Steller-Second-to-none-hot-cool-funny-incredible-magical-beautious-cuddly-warm-kitty-kat-like Secretary