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Someone PLEASE help me

Charles0103
Posts: 523
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3/5/2012 7:37:14 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
So, I haven't really been active on DDO for the last few months. Sorry, guys. I've been super busy with highschool and life in general.
And then this happened.
For the last 7 months, I've been in the best relationship of my life. My girlfriend is a charming, beautiful, funny, and intelligent young lady who I sincerely do enjoy being around.
But, like in all relationships, we got into a pretty big fight two weeks ago. She really broke my heart, and out of anger and frustration, I lashed out and broke hers, too. Long story short, I stopped talking to her. About an hour and a half later, she texts me and tells me that she just had a MAJOR overdose of pills about an hour earlier.
So, I kind of panicked and called her parents and told them to take her to the hospital immediately. Maybe I should have called the center for poison control and asked them, but I panicked.
I called about two hours later, and her brother said that she would be okay and home soon. I called another two hours later, and I asked to talk to my girlfriend. Her mom said that I could not talk to her ever again. :I
So, the next day, my (ex?) girlfriend texted me and said that the doctor says that we need to have as little contact with each other as possible. I could tell from the wording of the text that her parents just told her what to say.
So, she wasn't at school all last week. I just watched a lot of movies, went out with my friends a lot, and tried to relax.

Well, she came back to school today. Being the good, respectful guy I am, I didn't approach her at all. She seemed really upset in the morning when she saw me. (she didn't even wear make up, and she usually ALWAYS wears make up). Near the end of the day, however, she seemed to be okay and just acted like I didn't even exist.

One of her best friends told me that she WANTS to talk to me, but she doesn't want to get in trouble with her parents or doctor. But still, if she really did like me and want to stay with me, then wouldn't she have found a way to contact me?
Some other quick things, her exboyfriend forced a "certain activity" on her. She's had a long history of depression, and she cuts herself almost every day. I think that this was just the straw that broke the camel's back.
She's unintentionally hurt me many times, and I was actually beginning to start thinking about breaking up with her before all of this started. I tried SO hard for her…
I just have no idea what to do. Any suggestions?
"And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened." Jesus in Luke 11:9-10
kyro90
Posts: 4,400
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3/5/2012 7:44:47 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
That really sucks... I think that you should just do as they say. If you really love her, youll do whats best for her.
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Lordknukle
Posts: 12,788
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3/5/2012 7:51:17 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/5/2012 7:48:03 PM, Thaddeus wrote:
Hugs from the big T-dizzle.
You know what might help?
Burning her house down.

Yes..yes it could.
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tvellalott
Posts: 10,864
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3/5/2012 7:53:48 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Were you guys sexually active?
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tvellalott
Posts: 10,864
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3/5/2012 7:56:37 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/5/2012 7:53:48 PM, tvellalott wrote:
Were you guys sexually active?

Regardless, I suggest you perform cunnilingus on her. That has always cheered my girlfriends up.
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johnnyboy54
Posts: 6,362
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3/5/2012 8:40:44 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I'm really sorry about your situation. It seems really tough and I cannot fathom what you are going through right now.

First things first. You made the right decision in calling her parents. Do not doubt it for a second. Them being pissed at you is a lot better situation than her being disabled or dead.

It seems like you care about her and she seems to be going through some serious issues. It seems like she needs help and her parents need to know she cuts herself. Unless they are abusive, DO NOT HIDE IT FROM THEM. If she does have abusive parents, maybe you can talk to the school principal and get her some help.

Last, do not stay in the relationship in an attempt to save her. Coming from experience, you probably can't. This relationship seems like it is taxing and difficult for the both of you. She does not seem to be in a place where she can be in a committed relationship right now. Not only that but you may enable her destructive behavior. If she gets in a better place, then a relationship with her may work.

This is my two cents and I hope it helps. God bless.
I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.
gerrandesquire
Posts: 1,258
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3/5/2012 10:00:33 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
What Johny said. She is not ready for a relationship right now, and this will be taxing for both you and her. Also, as horrible as this sounds, this is the best time to do so. Her parents would take part of the blame, they are still taking care of her, and would definitely look out for her. Maybe you can send in a card or something, explaining your POV, and explaining why you bath can't be. Focus on why it would be better for her.

Explaining is always better.
Charles0103
Posts: 523
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3/6/2012 4:17:00 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Thank you, everybody, for all the help and support. I really appreciate it, and I really need it right now.

She wasn't at school today. Her friends said that she was feeling sick yesterday. Her parents took her phone, and she can't get on the computer. We've had a GREAT relationship up until this point, and I really don't want it to end. I don't know whether I should talk to her, get one of her friends to talk to her for me, or if I should just leave her alone.. I'm really not ready to break up with her. I just can't. I just want things to be like they were before.

To answer what Johnny was saying earlier, her parents do know that she cuts herself. My dad called and told them. He also told them about what her exboyfriend did. However, as absolutely nothing has changed, I have no clue how her parents took that or if they believe me. This is just a bad situation, and I don't know what to do...
"And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened." Jesus in Luke 11:9-10
Lasagna
Posts: 2,440
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3/6/2012 9:03:41 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I had an ex-girlfriend who had mental problems and I was a trigger for them. Her father didn't want her with me, but we were in our mid-20s so he didn't really have much he could say. In the end he turned out to be right, but it wasn't that it was anything wrong with me - it was just that she was so screwed up in the head that she couldn't be with just about anyone.

First off, you're in high school. Go date. You're going to turn 21 in a few years and once you start going out you're not going to want to be locked down with some crazy b1tch. There's too much of life for you to live yet that you're throwing away by doing that.

Second, this girl sounds like she's somewhat like my ex. You're going to cause her problems over and over again, and you might as well just save yourself the hassle of being "the reason" she continues to hurt herself. There are plenty of normal people out there to choose from. Perhaps she'll grow as a person and later she'll be better suited for you, but most often people only grow apart and that's what's likely to happen. Chances are overwhelming that in 5-10 years you two will be so dramatically different of people that you'll laugh that you were ever together.

Lastly, you must accept the fact that you are being heartbroken. That means common sense is gone. Your judgment cannot be trusted. Desperation will take hold of both of your minds and force you to make bad decisions just to stop the inevitable pain that is coming. I've made some pretty stupid decisions in that state before...
Rob
imabench
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3/6/2012 10:27:23 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
if you're thinking about breaking up with her, chances are your heart has already made that decision....
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sadolite
Posts: 8,837
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3/6/2012 10:31:32 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Um, you are 15 you don't even know what a real relationship is. "Hanging out and partying and stuff" isn't a relationship.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%
000ike
Posts: 11,196
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3/6/2012 10:37:39 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/6/2012 10:31:32 PM, sadolite wrote:
Um, you are 15 you don't even know what a real relationship is. "Hanging out and partying and stuff" isn't a relationship.

Why are you so rude and blunt? Did something bad happen to you as a child?
"A stupid despot may constrain his slaves with iron chains; but a true politician binds them even more strongly with the chain of their own ideas" - Michel Foucault
nonentity
Posts: 5,008
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3/6/2012 10:43:06 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I don't know what it is about Sadolite that completely rubs me the wrong way. He could say just about anything and I would have the same boo! hiss! reaction.

Anyway, I actually agree with Lasagna on this one. You don't want to stay in a relationship like this, especially at a young age. It's hard to let go, but ultimately the relationship will be toxic for both you and her, and you'll only be pulled down further and it'll only be more difficult to get out.

I'm not sure what you're hoping to get out of this relationship but there are plenty of other quality girls out there that you will meet and you will also believe they are the one at that moment.

Good luck with whatever you choose.
sadolite
Posts: 8,837
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3/11/2012 3:19:04 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/6/2012 10:37:39 PM, 000ike wrote:
At 3/6/2012 10:31:32 PM, sadolite wrote:
Um, you are 15 you don't even know what a real relationship is. "Hanging out and partying and stuff" isn't a relationship.

Why are you so rude and blunt? Did something bad happen to you as a child?

I see nothing wrong with what I have said. What this world needs is a whole lot more blunt people. Instead of a bunch of yes people telling everyone what they want to hear. I never tell anyone what they want to hear, I always tell them the way it is. I have no respect for people who would tell me or anyone else what I want to hear to make me or them feel better or not hurt my or their feelings. What good will that do anyone. Nothing is learned nothing is gained nothing is solved.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%
darkkermit
Posts: 11,204
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3/11/2012 3:24:37 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/11/2012 3:19:04 PM, sadolite wrote:
At 3/6/2012 10:37:39 PM, 000ike wrote:
At 3/6/2012 10:31:32 PM, sadolite wrote:
Um, you are 15 you don't even know what a real relationship is. "Hanging out and partying and stuff" isn't a relationship.

Why are you so rude and blunt? Did something bad happen to you as a child?

I see nothing wrong with what I have said. What this world needs is a whole lot more blunt people. Instead of a bunch of yes people telling everyone what they want to hear. I never tell anyone what they want to hear, I always tell them the way it is. I have no respect for people who would tell me or anyone else what I want to hear to make me or them feel better or not hurt my or their feelings. What good will that do anyone. Nothing is learned nothing is gained nothing is solved.

And yet in another forum topic you whine about people insulting you.
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sadolite
Posts: 8,837
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3/11/2012 3:43:07 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/11/2012 3:24:37 PM, darkkermit wrote:
At 3/11/2012 3:19:04 PM, sadolite wrote:
At 3/6/2012 10:37:39 PM, 000ike wrote:
At 3/6/2012 10:31:32 PM, sadolite wrote:
Um, you are 15 you don't even know what a real relationship is. "Hanging out and partying and stuff" isn't a relationship.

Why are you so rude and blunt? Did something bad happen to you as a child?

I see nothing wrong with what I have said. What this world needs is a whole lot more blunt people. Instead of a bunch of yes people telling everyone what they want to hear. I never tell anyone what they want to hear, I always tell them the way it is. I have no respect for people who would tell me or anyone else what I want to hear to make me or them feel better or not hurt my or their feelings. What good will that do anyone. Nothing is learned nothing is gained nothing is solved.

And yet in another forum topic you whine about people insulting you.

UH I think it is the other way around, They always start it and further more what does that have to do with this thread. You attempt the classic DDO tactic "Redirect" Make the subject about me rather than the topic at hand. You do this all the time, It is your MO. The 15 year old is not mentally capable or financially capable for taking responsibility for his actions when involved in a "relationship". Is he having sex? Is he going to take responsibility if he gets her pregnant or am I the tax payer going to have to support him his girlfriend and their bastard child. All young people will eat their words when it comes to what they think they know about being an adult and what being an adult means. They all do Including me when I was a teenager. That is the way it is, it is not an opinion it is absolute fact. A 15 year old knows nothing about a relationship or the consequences involved in being in a relationship. Asking other teenagers for advice is the first mistake. Ask an older person who has lived and been there did that done that, and they will say the same thing I have said.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%