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ME or US?

Tiffany1billion
Posts: 44
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3/8/2012 11:35:25 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
As children, we connect and stay close to others, especially those that have nurtured us in one way or another. Our as-yet undamaged internal radar detects genuine love and we boldly embrace the real thing while avoiding the ‘fakers'. Even young children have enough sense to recognize the one(s) feeding, cleaning, and providing emotional support. But we take it too far: We say and do things that don't accurately reflect our specific belief system in an attempt to please others and thereby strengthen the 'team'. We let others define us.

As teenagers, (assuming we are emotionally stable), things change. We feel the need to stand out; to be our "own person" and stretch the box we've been placed in by our ‘team'. We want to be special, and different from everyone around us. But we take it too far: We kid ourselves (pun intended) into believing that we are so powerful and independent that we don't need that team at all. We don't allow anyone to define us.

Enter ADULT MODE. What's your mindset? Is it ME or US?
Tiffany
Greyparrot
Posts: 14,282
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3/8/2012 3:01:55 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
When you are a child, you allow your identity to be molded because you need the comfort of structure and being controlled.

When you are a teen, you realize you want to take control of yourself for yourself. When you do that, you allow yourself to come to terms with your own identity for the first time.

The mark of adulthood is when you have made peace with yourself, and your identity. Only then do you have control.

so I don't get the whole WE/US thing really.
Tiffany1billion
Posts: 44
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3/8/2012 10:07:17 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/8/2012 3:01:55 PM, Greyparrot wrote:
When you are a child, you allow your identity to be molded because you need the comfort of structure and being controlled.

When you are a teen, you realize you want to take control of yourself for yourself. When you do that, you allow yourself to come to terms with your own identity for the first time.

The mark of adulthood is when you have made peace with yourself, and your identity. Only then do you have control.

So we get our structure as a child, our identity as a teen. Now as adults, do we use our control to benefit ourselves or our team? Which should be prioritized?
I define myself, and am also defined by the team I've chosen.
I would usually say that it is most favorable to be a team player, because I see the benefit of working together with other motivated people to attain much larger rewards than what I could have managed on my own.
On the other hand, I also recognize the importance of following my own moral radar. Even those closest to me make mistakes or go astray, and the team does not benefit if everyone fails together.
Tiffany
imabench
Posts: 21,219
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3/8/2012 10:39:47 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/8/2012 10:07:17 PM, Tiffany1billion wrote:
At 3/8/2012 3:01:55 PM, Greyparrot wrote:
When you are a child, you allow your identity to be molded because you need the comfort of structure and being controlled.

When you are a teen, you realize you want to take control of yourself for yourself. When you do that, you allow yourself to come to terms with your own identity for the first time.

The mark of adulthood is when you have made peace with yourself, and your identity. Only then do you have control.

So we get our structure as a child, our identity as a teen. Now as adults, do we use our control to benefit ourselves or our team? Which should be prioritized?
I define myself, and am also defined by the team I've chosen.
I would usually say that it is most favorable to be a team player, because I see the benefit of working together with other motivated people to attain much larger rewards than what I could have managed on my own.
On the other hand, I also recognize the importance of following my own moral radar. Even those closest to me make mistakes or go astray, and the team does not benefit if everyone fails together.

I see what you mean and what you see yourself as always will depend on the situation you are in, if that makes sense
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gerrandesquire
Posts: 1,258
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3/9/2012 2:41:03 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
This is a very good question.

Personally, considering that I'm from a culture where we don't really go off on our own when we turn adults, parents (and the society as a whole) do have an influence on us. But then independence is not really living on your own. It's the ability to make quick decisions on your own, and ability to have confidence on your decisions and yourself on the whole.

I am a 'me' person, because then the mistakes I made are my own fault and I can live with that. However, considering the kind of culture I come from, the TEAM I have does try to influence me, and although I consider the suggestions, the decision is ultimately my own.

TL;DR I am a ME person, but I am not ungrateful for the suggestions/ opinions of the team.