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How do you know if you're gay?

nonentity
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3/23/2012 12:12:02 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
I've always been attracted to women in a way, but only their faces. Breasts are nice, but I can't picture myself touching another woman's breasts at all. I want to be a lesbian but the thought of being with another woman repulses me. I know there aren't many gay or bi people on here, but is that how it is at first, before you finally realize you're gay (or bi)? Is the repulsion a part of some sort of conditioning, or am I doomed to be heterosexual?
16kadams
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3/23/2012 12:21:19 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
you just know your sexuality. That's it.
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"A trend is a trend, but the question is, will it bend? Will it alter its course through some unforeseen force and come to a premature end?" -- Alec Cairncross
nonentity
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3/23/2012 12:24:58 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/23/2012 12:21:19 AM, 16kadams wrote:
you just know your sexuality. That's it.

But does it make you gay if you're physically attracted to the same gender (but not sexually attracted)?
Ore_Ele
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3/23/2012 12:25:30 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/23/2012 12:12:02 AM, nonentity wrote:
I've always been attracted to women in a way, but only their faces. Breasts are nice, but I can't picture myself touching another woman's breasts at all. I want to be a lesbian but the thought of being with another woman repulses me. I know there aren't many gay or bi people on here, but is that how it is at first, before you finally realize you're gay (or bi)? Is the repulsion a part of some sort of conditioning, or am I doomed to be heterosexual?

Why do you want to be gay? Not saying that there is anything wrong with it, but if you are repulsed by being with a woman, why else do you want to be gay? I know that I've seen it several times where high school girls want to be bi-sexual just because it makes them seem more attractive to [some] men.
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
nonentity
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3/23/2012 12:28:24 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/23/2012 12:25:30 AM, Ore_Ele wrote:

Why do you want to be gay? Not saying that there is anything wrong with it, but if you are repulsed by being with a woman, why else do you want to be gay? I know that I've seen it several times where high school girls want to be bi-sexual just because it makes them seem more attractive to [some] men.

I'm physically attracted to women and would honestly like to date just to see what that experience is like. I feel like I could possibly emotionally connect with a woman in a way that I can't with a man.
Lickdafoot
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3/23/2012 12:32:13 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/23/2012 12:12:02 AM, nonentity wrote:
I've always been attracted to women in a way, but only their faces. Breasts are nice, but I can't picture myself touching another woman's breasts at all. I want to be a lesbian but the thought of being with another woman repulses me. I know there aren't many gay or bi people on here, but is that how it is at first, before you finally realize you're gay (or bi)? Is the repulsion a part of some sort of conditioning, or am I doomed to be heterosexual?

Everyone is gay in a sense. I don't think there is a definite answer to whether you are or are not gay.

http://en.wikipedia.org...

The kinsey scale basically classes people into different levels of "gayness". Everyone has at least looked at someone of the same sex and thought "that person is attractive." That doesn't mean you want to jump in the bed with them though.

BTW, I think women are attractive too. i don't care about boobs that much but some of them have nice @sses. I couldn't be in a relationship with a woman... sex with one wouldn't appeal to me. I guess that makes me "straight"

If you want to turn lesbo because guys suck, well a lot of women suck too albeit in a different way :( You have to keep looking. The right person for you will turn up - it doesn't matter if they happen to be male or female. The important thing is to follow what comes naturally to you.

Of course, I'm not gay so I don't know what the progression is like, but everyone that i've talked to has always said they "felt" gay urges since they were born. The denial can manifest in many ways from always obsessing about the opposite sex, to thinking they were asexual.
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16kadams
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3/23/2012 12:34:36 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/23/2012 12:24:58 AM, nonentity wrote:
At 3/23/2012 12:21:19 AM, 16kadams wrote:
you just know your sexuality. That's it.

But does it make you gay if you're physically attracted to the same gender (but not sexually attracted)?

depends on how you define gay.
https://www.youtube.com...
https://rekonomics.wordpress.com...
"A trend is a trend, but the question is, will it bend? Will it alter its course through some unforeseen force and come to a premature end?" -- Alec Cairncross
imabench
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3/23/2012 12:39:56 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/23/2012 12:28:24 AM, nonentity wrote:
At 3/23/2012 12:25:30 AM, Ore_Ele wrote:

Why do you want to be gay? Not saying that there is anything wrong with it, but if you are repulsed by being with a woman, why else do you want to be gay? I know that I've seen it several times where high school girls want to be bi-sexual just because it makes them seem more attractive to [some] men.

I'm physically attracted to women and would honestly like to date just to see what that experience is like. I feel like I could possibly emotionally connect with a woman in a way that I can't with a man.

what parts are you physically attracted to, are you only considering dating or actually making out and doing the nasty, and its easy to connect emotionally to women more than men because men are often completely unemotional
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nonentity
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3/23/2012 12:43:55 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/23/2012 12:32:13 AM, Lickdafoot wrote:

Everyone is gay in a sense. I don't think there is a definite answer to whether you are or are not gay.

http://en.wikipedia.org...

The kinsey scale basically classes people into different levels of "gayness". Everyone has at least looked at someone of the same sex and thought "that person is attractive." That doesn't mean you want to jump in the bed with them though.


It's interesting to see it on a spectrum, rather than a dichotomy. I know for sure I am attracted to men. But I'm unsure of whether my attraction to women is enough to blur the lines of my sexuality :/ But that last sentence makes complete sense.

BTW, I think women are attractive too. i don't care about boobs that much but some of them have nice @sses. I couldn't be in a relationship with a woman... sex with one wouldn't appeal to me. I guess that makes me "straight"


I'm a sucker for nice legs. It certainly helps to have nice boobs and a nice butt, but nice legs will get me (on men and women).

If you want to turn lesbo because guys suck, well a lot of women suck too albeit in a different way :( You have to keep looking. The right person for you will turn up - it doesn't matter if they happen to be male or female. The important thing is to follow what comes naturally to you.


Yah haha I realize there are some stereotypically 'woman' things I may not be able to deal with... but it bugs me that I can't emotionally connect and I'm wondering if it's me or if it's men.

Of course, I'm not gay so I don't know what the progression is like, but everyone that i've talked to has always said they "felt" gay urges since they were born. The denial can manifest in many ways from always obsessing about the opposite sex, to thinking they were asexual.

It's true that I can't say I felt 'gay urges' in my childhood. But the attraction has been there for a number of years and the repulsion is also there... not sure if the repulsion is something that I've internalized or something that's innate because I'm not gay.
johnnyboy54
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3/23/2012 12:45:22 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/23/2012 12:12:02 AM, nonentity wrote:
I've always been attracted to women in a way, but only their faces. Breasts are nice, but I can't picture myself touching another woman's breasts at all. I want to be a lesbian but the thought of being with another woman repulses me. I know there aren't many gay or bi people on here, but is that how it is at first, before you finally realize you're gay (or bi)? Is the repulsion a part of some sort of conditioning, or am I doomed to be heterosexual?

Lol you make it sound like a punishment :)

Anyways, i think you are the type of person who can look at someone of the same gender and objectively state they are good looking. However unless you desire to have sex with women, you are not gay. So if you are not okay with the idea of having sex with another woman, then you are gay. (unless maybe there was that one woman you would go gay for)
I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.
nonentity
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3/23/2012 12:49:50 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/23/2012 12:39:56 AM, imabench wrote:

what parts are you physically attracted to, are you only considering dating or actually making out and doing the nasty, and its easy to connect emotionally to women more than men because men are often completely unemotional

Physically attracted to faces and bodies, but once you get into specifics (like pvssy) I start to get repulsed. Like, if you were to ask me who my celebrity crushes are, I would say: Sofia Vargara, Mila Kunis, Leighton Meester, Angelina Jolie, and Jake Gyllenhaal. And I think about those women more than I ever think about Jake Gyllenhaal :/ I'm just considering dating... I don't want to kiss a girl. The thought weirds me out. But I could see myself marrying a girl. I don't know how to explain it.
OMGJustinBieber
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3/23/2012 12:50:07 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/23/2012 12:12:02 AM, nonentity wrote:
I've always been attracted to women in a way, but only their faces. Breasts are nice, but I can't picture myself touching another woman's breasts at all. I want to be a lesbian but the thought of being with another woman repulses me. I know there aren't many gay or bi people on here, but is that how it is at first, before you finally realize you're gay (or bi)? Is the repulsion a part of some sort of conditioning, or am I doomed to be heterosexual?

At the end of the day you have to be attracted to their genitals. If you feel consistently repulsed then prospects look dim. Re-examine the porn you watch and the fantasies in your head. Plenty of gay men hold deep emotional connections with women, but ultimately we're sexual beings.
nonentity
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3/23/2012 12:55:43 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
I guess the consensus is that there must be a desire for sex to determine your sexuality lol which makes sense in a way... I wasn't thinking of it that way because children don't desire sex but they still have crushes that determine their sexuality... I don't know!
Lickdafoot
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3/23/2012 1:05:10 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/23/2012 12:43:55 AM, nonentity wrote:
Yah haha I realize there are some stereotypically 'woman' things I may not be able to deal with... but it bugs me that I can't emotionally connect and I'm wondering if it's me or if it's men.

It might be a combination of both. Especially if you have been hurt by men in the past. But trust me, emotionally oriented guys are out there. And I'm not talking p*ssies who are not manly. I'm talking sexy in a manly way and also giving and caring in relationships. Maybe it's the places you are looking or the guys you are going after. Reevalute the type of guy you want and if you don't see those signs in him, let him go before you get involved. This leaves more room open for the right ones to come in.

It's true that I can't say I felt 'gay urges' in my childhood. But the attraction has been there for a number of years and the repulsion is also there... not sure if the repulsion is something that I've internalized or something that's innate because I'm not gay.

It's probably the latter. Sexual desires do not come from the rational mind. They come from the physiological makeup in your body.
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Lickdafoot
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3/23/2012 1:08:06 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/23/2012 12:55:43 AM, nonentity wrote:
I guess the consensus is that there must be a desire for sex to determine your sexuality lol which makes sense in a way... I wasn't thinking of it that way because children don't desire sex but they still have crushes that determine their sexuality... I don't know!

think back on your very first crush. did that person make you feel tingly inside? lmao. kids feel sexuality as well, they just interpret it differently. my first crush was uncle jesse on full house haha.
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nonentity
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3/23/2012 1:13:12 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/23/2012 1:08:06 AM, Lickdafoot wrote:
At 3/23/2012 12:55:43 AM, nonentity wrote:
I guess the consensus is that there must be a desire for sex to determine your sexuality lol which makes sense in a way... I wasn't thinking of it that way because children don't desire sex but they still have crushes that determine their sexuality... I don't know!

think back on your very first crush. did that person make you feel tingly inside? lmao. kids feel sexuality as well, they just interpret it differently. my first crush was uncle jesse on full house haha.

Haha you had good taste! Mine was Nick Carter x_x Sounds like one of Freud's theories (kids feeling sexuality) but to be honest, I can't remember if I felt it.

To your other post, I think you're right. I'm not looking for a relationship or anything (just got out of one) but it's something I've been thinking about for a long time. And now that I finally have the chance to act on it, I'm finding that I can't.
OMGJustinBieber
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3/23/2012 1:22:09 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/23/2012 1:13:12 AM, nonentity wrote:
At 3/23/2012 1:08:06 AM, Lickdafoot wrote:
At 3/23/2012 12:55:43 AM, nonentity wrote:
I guess the consensus is that there must be a desire for sex to determine your sexuality lol which makes sense in a way... I wasn't thinking of it that way because children don't desire sex but they still have crushes that determine their sexuality... I don't know!

think back on your very first crush. did that person make you feel tingly inside? lmao. kids feel sexuality as well, they just interpret it differently. my first crush was uncle jesse on full house haha.

Haha you had good taste! Mine was Nick Carter x_x Sounds like one of Freud's theories (kids feeling sexuality) but to be honest, I can't remember if I felt it.

To your other post, I think you're right. I'm not looking for a relationship or anything (just got out of one) but it's something I've been thinking about for a long time. And now that I finally have the chance to act on it, I'm finding that I can't.


Will that still be true after 5 drinks? A lot of straight men don't like eating pvssy, and naturally anyone who's sexually uncertain will not be initiating hook ups. I think the porn you look at and the fantasies you have are key here.
FREEDO
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3/23/2012 1:26:01 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
I once slightly touched a guy's penis with the tip of my tongue. But, personally, I don't think that makes me gay. Not bi either. Bi-curious is a better word.
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imabench
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3/23/2012 1:29:17 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/23/2012 12:49:50 AM, nonentity wrote:
At 3/23/2012 12:39:56 AM, imabench wrote:

what parts are you physically attracted to, are you only considering dating or actually making out and doing the nasty, and its easy to connect emotionally to women more than men because men are often completely unemotional

Physically attracted to faces and bodies, but once you get into specifics (like pvssy) I start to get repulsed. Like, if you were to ask me who my celebrity crushes are, I would say: Sofia Vargara, Mila Kunis, Leighton Meester, Angelina Jolie, and Jake Gyllenhaal. And I think about those women more than I ever think about Jake Gyllenhaal :/ I'm just considering dating... I don't want to kiss a girl. The thought weirds me out. But I could see myself marrying a girl. I don't know how to explain it.

Youre not gay, your just curious and are realizing who the finer sex really are
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"
Geogeer: "Nobody is dumb enough to become my protege."

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

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imabench
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3/23/2012 1:29:58 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/23/2012 1:26:01 AM, FREEDO wrote:
I once slightly touched a guy's penis with the tip of my tongue. But, personally, I don't think that makes me gay. Not bi either. Bi-curious is a better word.

WTF?
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"
Geogeer: "Nobody is dumb enough to become my protege."

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
OMGJustinBieber
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3/23/2012 1:33:39 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/23/2012 1:29:58 AM, imabench wrote:
At 3/23/2012 1:26:01 AM, FREEDO wrote:
I once slightly touched a guy's penis with the tip of my tongue. But, personally, I don't think that makes me gay. Not bi either. Bi-curious is a better word.

WTF?

Freedo, you could have sex with a guy and not be bi/gay. I heard one story where a straight guy got a blowjob from a gay one and it didn't feel right and essentially confirmed his own straight-ness. Makes sense to me.
lewis20
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3/23/2012 1:34:55 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/23/2012 12:55:43 AM, nonentity wrote:
I guess the consensus is that there must be a desire for sex to determine your sexuality lol which makes sense in a way... I wasn't thinking of it that way because children don't desire sex but they still have crushes that determine their sexuality... I don't know!

I'm too drunk to see, but if I had to make an opinion you're pretty well straight.
"If you are a racist I will attack you with the north"- Abraham Lincoln

"Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material" - Leviticus 19 19

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FREEDO
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3/23/2012 1:35:34 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/23/2012 1:29:58 AM, imabench wrote:
At 3/23/2012 1:26:01 AM, FREEDO wrote:
I once slightly touched a guy's penis with the tip of my tongue. But, personally, I don't think that makes me gay. Not bi either. Bi-curious is a better word.

WTF?

Any person who thinks they would never naturally go both ways is just kidding themselves. We often have strong inclinations to a certain sex but the truth is any strict orientation is a part of social conditioning.
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darkkermit
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3/23/2012 1:36:15 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
You know I had a gay friend who said that women are better looking then men.

I think that especially in today's culture, that most people think females are better looking and attractive then males. That's why they can get away with wearing the short shorts and low cut tops, but guys can't.
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FREEDO
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3/23/2012 1:36:36 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/23/2012 1:33:39 AM, OMGJustinBieber wrote:
At 3/23/2012 1:29:58 AM, imabench wrote:
At 3/23/2012 1:26:01 AM, FREEDO wrote:
I once slightly touched a guy's penis with the tip of my tongue. But, personally, I don't think that makes me gay. Not bi either. Bi-curious is a better word.

WTF?

Freedo, you could have sex with a guy and not be bi/gay. I heard one story where a straight guy got a blowjob from a gay one and it didn't feel right and essentially confirmed his own straight-ness. Makes sense to me.

I would totally do that.
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FREEDO
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3/23/2012 1:37:43 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/23/2012 1:36:15 AM, darkkermit wrote:
You know I had a gay friend who said that women are better looking then men.

I think that especially in today's culture, that most people think females are better looking and attractive then males. That's why they can get away with wearing the short shorts and low cut tops, but guys can't.

It's also why naked women appear a lot more in art than naked men. Or clothed, as well.
GRAND POOBAH OF DDO

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nonentity
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3/23/2012 2:07:07 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/23/2012 1:36:15 AM, darkkermit wrote:
You know I had a gay friend who said that women are better looking then men.

I think that especially in today's culture, that most people think females are better looking and attractive then males. That's why they can get away with wearing the short shorts and low cut tops, but guys can't.

I wonder why that is.
lewis20
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3/23/2012 2:12:11 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/23/2012 1:36:15 AM, darkkermit wrote:
You know I had a gay friend who said that women are better looking then men.

I think that especially in today's culture, that most people think females are better looking and attractive then males. That's why they can get away with wearing the short shorts and low cut tops, but guys can't.

Most people think? I mean they are, right?
"If you are a racist I will attack you with the north"- Abraham Lincoln

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darkkermit
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3/23/2012 2:15:54 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 3/23/2012 2:07:07 AM, nonentity wrote:
At 3/23/2012 1:36:15 AM, darkkermit wrote:
You know I had a gay friend who said that women are better looking then men.

I think that especially in today's culture, that most people think females are better looking and attractive then males. That's why they can get away with wearing the short shorts and low cut tops, but guys can't.

I wonder why that is.

Males and females have different evolutionary mating patterns.

Males are looking for someone that is fertile, survive pregnancy and can raise a healthy child. Looks play a huge role in this since it signals fertility.

Females will be somewhat incapacitated at that time so they are looking for someone that has the resources to protect and provide for her. Looks don't play too much of a role.
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