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Help With Alcoholic Dad?

SuburbiaSurvivor
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4/18/2012 11:50:28 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
I don't really have much to say, but yeah, my Dad's an alcoholic. He's been clean for a few years but a few months ago he started drinking again. He promised he'd stop and he did for a few days, but he'd get super sick so he'd drink to alleviate the pain, and after that, he just wouldn't stop. I'm homeschooled so I can smell it on his breath when he walks in (he works in our garage) and he's in the bathroom everyday now for like, a half hour.

Anyway, yesterday we had an intervention. My mom, sisters, and I all basically told him if he doesn't going to an AA meeting and work on his sobriety we're leaving the house. He promised he'd go to an AA meeting and he did, but when he got back he drank a half pint of vodka and spent all last night like moaning and whining in his sleep.

So we left. I'm at my Grandma's house right now. I'm not really sure how long this is going to last. I'm honestly in shock, or denial, or whatever. This is one of those things that always happens in dramatic tv shows, you know? And you're like "well that's depressing" and you change the channel. But this is real life and I can't change the channel.

I'm not even sure why I'm posting this. I wish this could be replaced with something a little easier. Like a dramatic ex-girlfriend or something. I wish I could have normal teenager problems, like not having a car, or being heartbroken. Not that being heartbroken is petty or anything, it sucks. But I just don't know how to handle this one.

Lol, well I guess I did have a lot to say.
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Oryus
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4/18/2012 11:57:34 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
I'm really sorry to hear that. My father was also an alcoholic. We had to leave him when I was very young and in the end his alcoholism killed him. His story is very tragic.

I hope that man can get his sh!t together enough to realize what is really important in his life and what is not.

Just remember that it has nothing to do with you. Unfortunately, the lack of consideration for family is a large part of the problem but there it is... It is very selfish to not try to overcome alcoholism when you have people that love you.
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tulle
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4/18/2012 12:10:27 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Yeah, it's easy to give relationship advice but I really don't know what to say in this situation. I really hope your dad gets the help he needs. *hugs*
yang.
brian_eggleston
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4/18/2012 12:40:56 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I like a drink myself, a bit too much to be honest, but I don't inflict my company on anyone else after I've had a few bevvies (apart from other boozers down the pub, of course).

However, my drinking is kept more-or-less in check because I am at work until around 8.00pm most weekdays and I go on road trips most weekends (the DUI laws here are extremely strict and the penalties for dinking and driving are very severe).

The fact that your dad works from home and has easy access to alcohol during the day, and no boss to reprimand him for drinking during business hours, probably doesn't help.
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SuburbiaSurvivor
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4/18/2012 1:14:34 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 12:40:56 PM, brian_eggleston wrote:
I like a drink myself, a bit too much to be honest, but I don't inflict my company on anyone else after I've had a few bevvies (apart from other boozers down the pub, of course).

However, my drinking is kept more-or-less in check because I am at work until around 8.00pm most weekdays and I go on road trips most weekends (the DUI laws here are extremely strict and the penalties for dinking and driving are very severe).

The fact that your dad works from home and has easy access to alcohol during the day, and no boss to reprimand him for drinking during business hours, probably doesn't help.

I'm not really sure what your life looks like, and what your drinking habits are. But for my Dad it's pretty bad. I think that when he's puking his guts out like every day he's not in a good position. Then there's the fact that he's out drinking and driving. He's also been getting a bit nasty. Not like throwing things or yelling or anything like that. But you can tell he just really wants to drink and he doesn't want to be bothered about it. I mean, he's addicted. It's pretty obvious.

The problem with him is that it's not something he can keep in check. He's addicted and he's been steadily drinking more and more. Starting with beer, working his way to vodka. I mean, my one alive Grandpa (the other one was a warlock, lol, he died from something diabetes related) is in a wheelchair and can barely talk because he fell off of a roof while drunk. My Uncle is entering into first stage dementia because of all the drinking and drugs he's done. My family can't handle alcohol.
"I'm going to tell you something that you're never going to forget, SuburbiaSurvivor. Women... Are just human beings"
brian_eggleston
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4/18/2012 5:30:38 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 1:14:34 PM, SuburbiaSurvivor wrote:
At 4/18/2012 12:40:56 PM, brian_eggleston wrote:
I like a drink myself, a bit too much to be honest, but I don't inflict my company on anyone else after I've had a few bevvies (apart from other boozers down the pub, of course).

However, my drinking is kept more-or-less in check because I am at work until around 8.00pm most weekdays and I go on road trips most weekends (the DUI laws here are extremely strict and the penalties for drinking and driving are very severe).

The fact that your dad works from home and has easy access to alcohol during the day, and no boss to reprimand him for drinking during business hours, probably doesn't help.

I'm not really sure what your life looks like, and what your drinking habits are. But for my Dad it's pretty bad. I think that when he's puking his guts out like every day he's not in a good position. Then there's the fact that he's out drinking and driving. He's also been getting a bit nasty. Not like throwing things or yelling or anything like that. But you can tell he just really wants to drink and he doesn't want to be bothered about it. I mean, he's addicted. It's pretty obvious.

The problem with him is that it's not something he can keep in check. He's addicted and he's been steadily drinking more and more. Starting with beer, working his way to vodka. I mean, my one alive Grandpa (the other one was a warlock, lol, he died from something diabetes related) is in a wheelchair and can barely talk because he fell off of a roof while drunk. My Uncle is entering into first stage dementia because of all the drinking and drugs he's done. My family can't handle alcohol.

Your posts are probably more helpful to me than mine are to you. They put my life into perspective.

My grandfather and father were both slaves to drink and that resulted in a huge negative effect on their own health and on the harmony of our family life.

I'm afraid that, father like son, I may be following the same path to oblivion, but I hope, unlike me, that you will not be tempted by the lure of the old "lunatic soup" when you are older.

I sympathise with you and your family and hope that you can pull together to resolve the matter.
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SuburbiaSurvivor
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4/18/2012 5:48:53 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 5:30:38 PM, brian_eggleston wrote:

Your posts are probably more helpful to me than mine are to you. They put my life into perspective.

My grandfather and father were both slaves to drink and that resulted in a huge negative effect on their own health and on the harmony of our family life.

I'm afraid that, father like son, I may be following the same path to oblivion, but I hope, unlike me, that you will not be tempted by the lure of the old "lunatic soup" when you are older.

I sympathise with you and your family and hope that you can pull together to resolve the matter.

Well, as one who has experienced first-hand how alcohol affects the people around you, I would advise that you seek help. If you have close friends or family, they may not be saying anything to you because either A) they're afraid to B) they don't know about it or C) they're just waiting for it to stop.

That's how I was with my Dad. I could smell it on his breath as he'd walk in, and I wouldn't say anything because I didn't want to acknowledge it. I prefered to ignore it. I honestly can't tell you how much it's hurting me, because right now I don't know. But I imagine that since it's hurt me to the point where I'm numb to it, it's probably pretty bad, if that makes sense.

But then again, as they say in AA, you need to do it for you.

As for me, I won't. I see no reason to. I've seen alcohol steal so much from me and the peope around me, there's no reason to let it steal me as well.
"I'm going to tell you something that you're never going to forget, SuburbiaSurvivor. Women... Are just human beings"
Wnope
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4/18/2012 5:53:26 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 11:50:28 AM, SuburbiaSurvivor wrote:
I don't really have much to say, but yeah, my Dad's an alcoholic. He's been clean for a few years but a few months ago he started drinking again. He promised he'd stop and he did for a few days, but he'd get super sick so he'd drink to alleviate the pain, and after that, he just wouldn't stop. I'm homeschooled so I can smell it on his breath when he walks in (he works in our garage) and he's in the bathroom everyday now for like, a half hour.

Anyway, yesterday we had an intervention. My mom, sisters, and I all basically told him if he doesn't going to an AA meeting and work on his sobriety we're leaving the house. He promised he'd go to an AA meeting and he did, but when he got back he drank a half pint of vodka and spent all last night like moaning and whining in his sleep.

So we left. I'm at my Grandma's house right now. I'm not really sure how long this is going to last. I'm honestly in shock, or denial, or whatever. This is one of those things that always happens in dramatic tv shows, you know? And you're like "well that's depressing" and you change the channel. But this is real life and I can't change the channel.

I'm not even sure why I'm posting this. I wish this could be replaced with something a little easier. Like a dramatic ex-girlfriend or something. I wish I could have normal teenager problems, like not having a car, or being heartbroken. Not that being heartbroken is petty or anything, it sucks. But I just don't know how to handle this one.

Lol, well I guess I did have a lot to say.

It's always a damn shame when a father puts his family in the position of having to worry about HIS safety and how HE might hurt others.

I am nowhere near qualified enough to give you any proactive advice, but in terms of practically handling an alcoholic, you can maneuver your way better if you have some conception of WHAT is behind his drinking (addiction is rarely, rarely for addictions sake AT FIRST).

For instance, I know an alcoholic with self-esteem problems. When he gets drunk, these issues get exacerbated and any perceived challenge becomes worth of a physical fight. A friend of his I was told about drinks when he is reminded of some loss from his childhood.

After awhile, addiction will perpetuate addiction regardless of ulterior motives, but if you ARE forced to deal with a high addict (and you should never do so if you have the opportunity), it's good to try and figure out what their specific mental minefield might be.
OberHerr
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4/18/2012 5:55:24 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
If it becomes a REALLY big issue, confront him on it, and tell him that if he expects you to respect and obey him, he has to be worthy of it, or something like that.

You, and your family should be above him, and his "problems".
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imabench
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4/18/2012 5:57:36 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Suburbia, I too had an alcoholic dad and the best thing you can do is exactly what happened to you, the problem was removed. However this is a lot different from relationship stuff because theres not anything you can do at this point, this is all now on your dad and this is going to have to be his odyssey to stop drinking or live alone. All you can do now is wait and hope that he either resolves his drinking and everything goes back to normal..... If it doesnt the next best scenario is a divorce where you still can go and see and hang out with your dad a couple of times a week.

The second option was exactly what happened to me, because my dad couldnt get over his drinking either. Given enough time he might have beaten it but he died three years ago from Cancer so now no one could ever know.

Whenever there is a large amount of disorder anywhere, the universe has its own ways of resolving it, and right now the universe has presented three options.

1) A complete cure and restoration to normalcy
2) A compromise that keeps the peace
3) A final solution that no one wants or could prepare for.

Only problem is its out of your hands, its all up to your dad right now and the only thing you or anyone else can do is hope for the best...... but prepare for the worst
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Wnope
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4/18/2012 6:01:09 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 5:55:24 PM, OberHerr wrote:
If it becomes a REALLY big issue, confront him on it, and tell him that if he expects you to respect and obey him, he has to be worthy of it, or something like that.

You, and your family should be above him, and his "problems".

They've already had an intervention.

I do NOT suggest approaching your father alone ESPECIALLY if he has been drinking.
imabench
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4/18/2012 6:02:01 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 6:01:09 PM, Wnope wrote:
At 4/18/2012 5:55:24 PM, OberHerr wrote:
If it becomes a REALLY big issue, confront him on it, and tell him that if he expects you to respect and obey him, he has to be worthy of it, or something like that.

You, and your family should be above him, and his "problems".

They've already had an intervention.

I do NOT suggest approaching your father alone ESPECIALLY if he has been drinking.

WORDS TO LIVE BY
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"
Geogeer: "Nobody is dumb enough to become my protege."

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
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VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
OberHerr
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4/18/2012 6:02:51 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 6:01:09 PM, Wnope wrote:
At 4/18/2012 5:55:24 PM, OberHerr wrote:
If it becomes a REALLY big issue, confront him on it, and tell him that if he expects you to respect and obey him, he has to be worthy of it, or something like that.

You, and your family should be above him, and his "problems".

They've already had an intervention.

Oh....ok then.


I do NOT suggest approaching your father alone ESPECIALLY if he has been drinking.


THIS.
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Wnope
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4/18/2012 6:03:14 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 5:55:24 PM, OberHerr wrote:
If it becomes a REALLY big issue, confront him on it, and tell him that if he expects you to respect and obey him, he has to be worthy of it, or something like that.

You, and your family should be above him, and his "problems".

And if his drinking stems from self-esteem issues, how does having his son disrespect him and command him to obey at the risk of losing all fatherly status do anything but lead but disaster?
OberHerr
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4/18/2012 6:04:40 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 6:03:14 PM, Wnope wrote:
At 4/18/2012 5:55:24 PM, OberHerr wrote:
If it becomes a REALLY big issue, confront him on it, and tell him that if he expects you to respect and obey him, he has to be worthy of it, or something like that.

You, and your family should be above him, and his "problems".

And if his drinking stems from self-esteem issues, how does having his son disrespect him and command him to obey at the risk of losing all fatherly status do anything but lead but disaster?

Personally, just saying, he needs to snap out of it.

He IS being selfish in this regard.

Now, how you would go about that.....Eh, I dunno.
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Official Enforcer for the DDO Elite(if they existed).

"Cases are anti-town." - FourTrouble

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SuburbiaSurvivor
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4/18/2012 6:21:51 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 6:04:40 PM, OberHerr wrote:
At 4/18/2012 6:03:14 PM, Wnope wrote:
At 4/18/2012 5:55:24 PM, OberHerr wrote:
If it becomes a REALLY big issue, confront him on it, and tell him that if he expects you to respect and obey him, he has to be worthy of it, or something like that.

You, and your family should be above him, and his "problems".

And if his drinking stems from self-esteem issues, how does having his son disrespect him and command him to obey at the risk of losing all fatherly status do anything but lead but disaster?

Personally, just saying, he needs to snap out of it.

He IS being selfish in this regard.

Now, how you would go about that.....Eh, I dunno.

It's cool, OberHerr, I know what you were trying to say. We've already done an intervention, and we've done this before so he knows that he needs to get help. I have an idea of why he's drinking, and it involves a lot of stuff with his past which needs to be worked through. Fortunately I know that he's seeking therapy in regards to that.
"I'm going to tell you something that you're never going to forget, SuburbiaSurvivor. Women... Are just human beings"
SuburbiaSurvivor
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4/18/2012 6:24:52 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 5:57:36 PM, imabench wrote:
Suburbia, I too had an alcoholic dad and the best thing you can do is exactly what happened to you, the problem was removed. However this is a lot different from relationship stuff because theres not anything you can do at this point, this is all now on your dad and this is going to have to be his odyssey to stop drinking or live alone. All you can do now is wait and hope that he either resolves his drinking and everything goes back to normal..... If it doesnt the next best scenario is a divorce where you still can go and see and hang out with your dad a couple of times a week.

The second option was exactly what happened to me, because my dad couldnt get over his drinking either. Given enough time he might have beaten it but he died three years ago from Cancer so now no one could ever know.

Whenever there is a large amount of disorder anywhere, the universe has its own ways of resolving it, and right now the universe has presented three options.

1) A complete cure and restoration to normalcy
2) A compromise that keeps the peace
3) A final solution that no one wants or could prepare for.

Only problem is its out of your hands, its all up to your dad right now and the only thing you or anyone else can do is hope for the best...... but prepare for the worst

My condolences about your Dad, man. That's rough. Mine hasn't like died or anything.

I'm hoping for (1). It's happened before, I'm just waiting to see if it does happen.
"I'm going to tell you something that you're never going to forget, SuburbiaSurvivor. Women... Are just human beings"
Oryus
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4/18/2012 6:27:16 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 5:57:36 PM, imabench wrote:
Suburbia, I too had an alcoholic dad and the best thing you can do is exactly what happened to you, the problem was removed. However this is a lot different from relationship stuff because theres not anything you can do at this point, this is all now on your dad and this is going to have to be his odyssey to stop drinking or live alone. All you can do now is wait and hope that he either resolves his drinking and everything goes back to normal..... If it doesnt the next best scenario is a divorce where you still can go and see and hang out with your dad a couple of times a week.

The second option was exactly what happened to me, because my dad couldnt get over his drinking either. Given enough time he might have beaten it but he died three years ago from Cancer so now no one could ever know.

Whenever there is a large amount of disorder anywhere, the universe has its own ways of resolving it, and right now the universe has presented three options.

1) A complete cure and restoration to normalcy
2) A compromise that keeps the peace
3) A final solution that no one wants or could prepare for.

Only problem is its out of your hands, its all up to your dad right now and the only thing you or anyone else can do is hope for the best...... but prepare for the worst

My dad died 7 or so years ago too. Except he died from alcohol.

I'm glad to see that someone else who had to deal with that seems to be upbeat and, also, quite hilarious.
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
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: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
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SuburbiaSurvivor
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4/18/2012 6:30:31 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 6:27:16 PM, Oryus wrote:
At 4/18/2012 5:57:36 PM, imabench wrote:
Suburbia, I too had an alcoholic dad and the best thing you can do is exactly what happened to you, the problem was removed. However this is a lot different from relationship stuff because theres not anything you can do at this point, this is all now on your dad and this is going to have to be his odyssey to stop drinking or live alone. All you can do now is wait and hope that he either resolves his drinking and everything goes back to normal..... If it doesnt the next best scenario is a divorce where you still can go and see and hang out with your dad a couple of times a week.

The second option was exactly what happened to me, because my dad couldnt get over his drinking either. Given enough time he might have beaten it but he died three years ago from Cancer so now no one could ever know.

Whenever there is a large amount of disorder anywhere, the universe has its own ways of resolving it, and right now the universe has presented three options.

1) A complete cure and restoration to normalcy
2) A compromise that keeps the peace
3) A final solution that no one wants or could prepare for.

Only problem is its out of your hands, its all up to your dad right now and the only thing you or anyone else can do is hope for the best...... but prepare for the worst

My dad died 7 or so years ago too. Except he died from alcohol.

I'm glad to see that someone else who had to deal with that seems to be upbeat and, also, quite hilarious.

This. Tragedy doesn't have to define us.
"I'm going to tell you something that you're never going to forget, SuburbiaSurvivor. Women... Are just human beings"
PARADIGM_L0ST
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4/18/2012 8:12:16 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
First off, I'm very sorry to hear about that. I think most of us have known serious alcoholics, some who have even died as a result of it, and it's never a good situation.

In one regard you have to understand that his level of addiction is so severe that his body literally needs the substance otherwise he goes through delerium tremens. DT's can be so bad that they could literally go in to shock and die from it. But of course allowing them to languish is also not the answer because most certainly this will kill him if he doesn't get it under control.

I think your family did the right thing by staging an intervention and forcing him to make a choice. But you need to understand that he really does need professional help. A guilt trip is not going to make him stop; it might drive him even further away. He needs to be checked into an addiction clinic where they know how to taper them off safely to combat the phsyiological response while simultaneously healing his broken mind.

These treatment centers are usually very costly, but depending on his insurance coverage, they may foot the bill. But he needs help, and he cannot do it alone. Help him into recovery, but do not enable him.

That's the best, albeit limited, advice I can offer. Again, sorry for your troubles.
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CrazyPerson
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4/18/2012 8:22:16 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I've dealt with a LOT of addiction related issues in my lifetime. Seriously man, the best thing you can do (and this may come off harsh) is to just worry about yourself. I understand you care for your dad's wellbeing but the fact is, you cannot force an addict into anything. The intervention was staged, now all you can do is improve upon your own situation and just have good thoughts for him.
But we try to pretend, you see, that the external world exists altogether independently of us.
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The moralist is the person who tells people that they ought to be unselfish, when they still feel like egos, and his efforts are always and invariably futile.
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baggins
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4/19/2012 9:11:21 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 11:50:28 AM, SuburbiaSurvivor wrote:
I don't really have much to say, but yeah, my Dad's an alcoholic. He's been clean for a few years but a few months ago he started drinking again. He promised he'd stop and he did for a few days, but he'd get super sick so he'd drink to alleviate the pain, and after that, he just wouldn't stop. I'm homeschooled so I can smell it on his breath when he walks in (he works in our garage) and he's in the bathroom everyday now for like, a half hour.

Anyway, yesterday we had an intervention. My mom, sisters, and I all basically told him if he doesn't going to an AA meeting and work on his sobriety we're leaving the house. He promised he'd go to an AA meeting and he did, but when he got back he drank a half pint of vodka and spent all last night like moaning and whining in his sleep.

So we left. I'm at my Grandma's house right now. I'm not really sure how long this is going to last. I'm honestly in shock, or denial, or whatever. This is one of those things that always happens in dramatic tv shows, you know? And you're like "well that's depressing" and you change the channel. But this is real life and I can't change the channel.

What you people have done is a very linear solution. Which is OK. You have passed on the ball to him. Now he is well aware of what is at stake, and you are out of way.

It is possible there may be few lateral solutions. Try to think, why he drinks even at risk to his life and even of family? Is he trying to stop it and is unable to do it? If so, have some patience with him. Work with him to decrease consumption rather than stop it completely. Or is he bored with life and attaches small value to it? Try to see if there is some hobby he may like. If he is so inclined, get a good telescope and start astronomy. It is fun, but it needs patience and consumes time. Photography can be an option, for example bird photography. Video games too may be good. I am always surprised by passage of time while playing age of empires. You mentioned he works in a garage. Maybe there is some idea he would like to work after hours. May be he may like to learn flying a plane. If you cannot afford a real lessons, get microsoft fsx or x-plane. Even they consume lots of time.

Don't work alone. Work with help of your Mom. Discuss your problem with other people and seek there advice. If your grandparents are alive, seek there help. Anyone in the family, like your aunt or uncle to whom he is close? Even if the other person may themselves be addicted, they may be able to help.

I'm not even sure why I'm posting this. I wish this could be replaced with something a little easier. Like a dramatic ex-girlfriend or something. I wish I could have normal teenager problems, like not having a car, or being heartbroken. Not that being heartbroken is petty or anything, it sucks. But I just don't know how to handle this one.

Lol, well I guess I did have a lot to say.

In our life, we do not get to choose what problems we will face. There is no guarantee that you will be able to solve your problems. In any given situation, do the best you can. In case it does not work, don't worry. Failures do not reflect on you in any way. At the end, it is efforts which count.

I hope it all works out for you. BOL.
The Holy Quran 29:19-20

See they not how Allah originates creation, then repeats it: truly that is easy for Allah.

Say: "Travel through the earth and see how Allah did originate creation; so will Allah produce a later creation: for Allah has power over all things.
baggins
Posts: 855
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4/19/2012 9:21:53 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
@ OP

BTW, check if any of my advice is actually suitable for you. I may not be the best person to advice you as I have never touched alcohol. There are several friends who drink, but I do not think anyone of them is actually addicted to it.
The Holy Quran 29:19-20

See they not how Allah originates creation, then repeats it: truly that is easy for Allah.

Say: "Travel through the earth and see how Allah did originate creation; so will Allah produce a later creation: for Allah has power over all things.
SuburbiaSurvivor
Posts: 872
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4/19/2012 11:28:58 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/19/2012 9:21:53 AM, baggins wrote:
@ OP

BTW, check if any of my advice is actually suitable for you. I may not be the best person to advice you as I have never touched alcohol. There are several friends who drink, but I do not think anyone of them is actually addicted to it.

Thanks for the post! He's at the point where whatever reason he had for initiating his drinking is no longer his main reason. He is full-blown addicted. I believe there may be some people that can stop drinking any time they want, but that is not the case with my Dad. Right now we have removed ourself from the situation and are having family friends check up on him, as well as my Mom is visiting the house every now and then to get things and see how he's doing. He's at a point where he needs to go to a detox.
"I'm going to tell you something that you're never going to forget, SuburbiaSurvivor. Women... Are just human beings"
innomen
Posts: 10,052
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4/19/2012 12:46:14 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
He drinks because he's an alcoholic, trying to find an answer to why only provides false hopes, the only answer to why he drinks is: because he's an alcoholic.

There is much to be said about you taking care of yourself first and foremost. It's a crappy thing for any child to have to deal with, but you are certainly not alone. Sometimes you have to disassociate yourself with people that you love just out of self preservation. It's better to feel sorry for him rather than be angry with him.
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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4/19/2012 1:04:42 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/19/2012 12:46:14 PM, innomen wrote:
He drinks because he's an alcoholic, trying to find an answer to why only provides false hopes, the only answer to why he drinks is: because he's an alcoholic.

There is much to be said about you taking care of yourself first and foremost. It's a crappy thing for any child to have to deal with, but you are certainly not alone. Sometimes you have to disassociate yourself with people that you love just out of self preservation. It's better to feel sorry for him rather than be angry with him.

Well said, innomen.
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
innomen
Posts: 10,052
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4/19/2012 1:14:30 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/19/2012 1:04:42 PM, Oryus wrote:
At 4/19/2012 12:46:14 PM, innomen wrote:
He drinks because he's an alcoholic, trying to find an answer to why only provides false hopes, the only answer to why he drinks is: because he's an alcoholic.

There is much to be said about you taking care of yourself first and foremost. It's a crappy thing for any child to have to deal with, but you are certainly not alone. Sometimes you have to disassociate yourself with people that you love just out of self preservation. It's better to feel sorry for him rather than be angry with him.

Well said, innomen.

More experience with alcoholism than I care to admit.
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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4/19/2012 5:18:45 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/19/2012 1:14:30 PM, innomen wrote:
At 4/19/2012 1:04:42 PM, Oryus wrote:
At 4/19/2012 12:46:14 PM, innomen wrote:
He drinks because he's an alcoholic, trying to find an answer to why only provides false hopes, the only answer to why he drinks is: because he's an alcoholic.

There is much to be said about you taking care of yourself first and foremost. It's a crappy thing for any child to have to deal with, but you are certainly not alone. Sometimes you have to disassociate yourself with people that you love just out of self preservation. It's better to feel sorry for him rather than be angry with him.

Well said, innomen.

More experience with alcoholism than I care to admit.

Well, you seem to be the wiser for it.
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
Wnope
Posts: 6,924
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4/23/2012 2:23:01 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 8:22:16 PM, CrazyPerson wrote:
I've dealt with a LOT of addiction related issues in my lifetime. Seriously man, the best thing you can do (and this may come off harsh) is to just worry about yourself. I understand you care for your dad's wellbeing but the fact is, you cannot force an addict into anything. The intervention was staged, now all you can do is improve upon your own situation and just have good thoughts for him.

Ditto this.
baggins
Posts: 855
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4/23/2012 10:38:49 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
It looks like my advice is wrong, which is kind of sad... Ignore it. I guess you need to be prepared for the worst, while hoping for the best.
The Holy Quran 29:19-20

See they not how Allah originates creation, then repeats it: truly that is easy for Allah.

Say: "Travel through the earth and see how Allah did originate creation; so will Allah produce a later creation: for Allah has power over all things.