Total Posts:29|Showing Posts:1-29
Jump to topic:

Help on Overcoming Shyness?

kyro90
Posts: 4,400
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2012 9:11:34 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Well guys, you all know me as they wonderful, happy, talk able member of DDO. But, I am not actually very talk able in real life. In fact, I barely talk. Especially in school. I would like some help, Ya know... Some tips on overcoming my shyness. I can never seem to find up the courage to talk to people and some help would be GREATLY appreciated if it works.
Allow me to give you my card....
Oh you cant read? Pitty. It says,
You are now holding the card of the Awesome-Steller-Second-to-none-hot-cool-funny-incredible-magical-beautious-cuddly-warm-kitty-kat-like Secretary
OberHerr
Posts: 13,062
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2012 9:12:36 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Burn their houses down.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OBERHERR'S SIGNATURE-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

Official Enforcer for the DDO Elite(if they existed).

"Cases are anti-town." - FourTrouble

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2012 9:24:57 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/31/2012 9:11:34 AM, kyro90 wrote:
Well guys, you all know me as they wonderful, happy, talk able member of DDO. But, I am not actually very talk able in real life. In fact, I barely talk. Especially in school. I would like some help, Ya know... Some tips on overcoming my shyness. I can never seem to find up the courage to talk to people and some help would be GREATLY appreciated if it works.

Why would you WANT to talk in school?
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush
kyro90
Posts: 4,400
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2012 9:29:21 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/31/2012 9:24:57 AM, bossyburrito wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:11:34 AM, kyro90 wrote:
Well guys, you all know me as they wonderful, happy, talk able member of DDO. But, I am not actually very talk able in real life. In fact, I barely talk. Especially in school. I would like some help, Ya know... Some tips on overcoming my shyness. I can never seem to find up the courage to talk to people and some help would be GREATLY appreciated if it works.

Why would you WANT to talk in school?

To be more social lol. Ill never get a gf/bf if I shut my trap! xD
Allow me to give you my card....
Oh you cant read? Pitty. It says,
You are now holding the card of the Awesome-Steller-Second-to-none-hot-cool-funny-incredible-magical-beautious-cuddly-warm-kitty-kat-like Secretary
caveat
Posts: 2,137
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2012 9:30:58 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
I'm having an odd feeling of deja vu...
There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. " Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties.
kyro90
Posts: 4,400
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2012 9:34:33 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/31/2012 9:30:58 AM, caveat wrote:
I'm having an odd feeling of deja vu...

I felt the same! Idk why. :/
Allow me to give you my card....
Oh you cant read? Pitty. It says,
You are now holding the card of the Awesome-Steller-Second-to-none-hot-cool-funny-incredible-magical-beautious-cuddly-warm-kitty-kat-like Secretary
THEBOMB
Posts: 2,872
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2012 9:36:38 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/31/2012 9:11:34 AM, kyro90 wrote:
Well guys, you all know me as they wonderful, happy, talk able member of DDO. But, I am not actually very talk able in real life. In fact, I barely talk. Especially in school. I would like some help, Ya know... Some tips on overcoming my shyness. I can never seem to find up the courage to talk to people and some help would be GREATLY appreciated if it works.

I was the exact same way to the 100th degree...well with the shyness that is, I almost never talked. You are never going to really be able to get over it completely, you'll still always be quiet, but, try doing something which FORCES you to speak in front of people, forensics (debate or speech) is a great example. You will have to get up, and speak in front of judges and people you don't know. Eventually you'll start talking more to people you do know. It's just a matter of finding something that forces you to speak to others.
kyro90
Posts: 4,400
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2012 9:37:42 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/31/2012 9:36:38 AM, THEBOMB wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:11:34 AM, kyro90 wrote:
Well guys, you all know me as they wonderful, happy, talk able member of DDO. But, I am not actually very talk able in real life. In fact, I barely talk. Especially in school. I would like some help, Ya know... Some tips on overcoming my shyness. I can never seem to find up the courage to talk to people and some help would be GREATLY appreciated if it works.

I was the exact same way to the 100th degree...well with the shyness that is, I almost never talked. You are never going to really be able to get over it completely, you'll still always be quiet, but, try doing something which FORCES you to speak in front of people, forensics (debate or speech) is a great example. You will have to get up, and speak in front of judges and people you don't know. Eventually you'll start talking more to people you do know. It's just a matter of finding something that forces you to speak to others.

People told me to force myself but were horrible at explaining how. Thanks, This will definitly help.
Allow me to give you my card....
Oh you cant read? Pitty. It says,
You are now holding the card of the Awesome-Steller-Second-to-none-hot-cool-funny-incredible-magical-beautious-cuddly-warm-kitty-kat-like Secretary
bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2012 9:38:44 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/31/2012 9:29:21 AM, kyro90 wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:24:57 AM, bossyburrito wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:11:34 AM, kyro90 wrote:
Well guys, you all know me as they wonderful, happy, talk able member of DDO. But, I am not actually very talk able in real life. In fact, I barely talk. Especially in school. I would like some help, Ya know... Some tips on overcoming my shyness. I can never seem to find up the courage to talk to people and some help would be GREATLY appreciated if it works.

Why would you WANT to talk in school?

To be more social lol. Ill never get a gf/bf if I shut my trap! xD

Oh, so you want love. That is the only valid reason i could think of to justify chatting with the average teenager *shudders*.
Well, don't say anything for a while, then say something cool about yourself, then walk off. They will all follow you.
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush
bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2012 9:39:26 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/31/2012 9:36:38 AM, THEBOMB wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:11:34 AM, kyro90 wrote:
Well guys, you all know me as they wonderful, happy, talk able member of DDO. But, I am not actually very talk able in real life. In fact, I barely talk. Especially in school. I would like some help, Ya know... Some tips on overcoming my shyness. I can never seem to find up the courage to talk to people and some help would be GREATLY appreciated if it works.

I was the exact same way to the 100000th degree...well with the shyness that is, I almost never talked. You are never going to really be able to get over it completely, you'll still always be quiet, but, try doing something which FORCES you to speak in front of people, forensics (debate or speech) is a great example. You will have to get up, and speak in front of judges and people you don't know. Eventually you'll start talking more to people you do know. It's just a matter of finding something that forces you to speak to others.
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush
caveat
Posts: 2,137
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2012 9:46:51 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Stop caring what other people think about you. Done.

Also, are you a guy or girl? Your profile suggest 15 year old female, but some seem unsure :P
There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. " Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties.
yoda878
Posts: 902
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2012 9:51:33 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/31/2012 9:11:34 AM, kyro90 wrote:
Well guys, you all know me as they wonderful, happy, talk able member of DDO. But, I am not actually very talk able in real life. In fact, I barely talk. Especially in school. I would like some help, Ya know... Some tips on overcoming my shyness. I can never seem to find up the courage to talk to people and some help would be GREATLY appreciated if it works.

So you have a little social anxiety, you need to force yourself out of your comfort zone. Get your mind set ready for this, be ok with the fact that you are going to be getting uncomfortable.
Start slow by just talking to someone you already know, but that you dont really talk much to. Then when you start to feel comfortable then you should move on and try meeting people. A good starter is just saying hi to people when you pass them, even if you don't know them. Smile, "hi"... that's it and keep going this is good practice, plus people do this all the time.
Me
Awesome-Sauce
Posts: 208
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2012 9:53:34 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/31/2012 9:36:38 AM, THEBOMB wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:11:34 AM, kyro90 wrote:
Well guys, you all know me as they wonderful, happy, talk able member of DDO. But, I am not actually very talk able in real life. In fact, I barely talk. Especially in school. I would like some help, Ya know... Some tips on overcoming my shyness. I can never seem to find up the courage to talk to people and some help would be GREATLY appreciated if it works.

I was the exact same way to the 100th degree...well with the shyness that is, I almost never talked. You are never going to really be able to get over it completely, you'll still always be quiet, but, try doing something which FORCES you to speak in front of people, forensics (debate or speech) is a great example. You will have to get up, and speak in front of judges and people you don't know. Eventually you'll start talking more to people you do know. It's just a matter of finding something that forces you to speak to others.

I joined my school's forensics team just this year and it has really helped me
Cogito ergo sum - Rene Descartes

: At 6/23/2012 1:15:48 AM, bossyburrito wrote: (to Jimtimmy)
:
: You are the equivelent of a fly buzzing around a cow. I can just swat you with my tail without it taking my attention away from grazing the sweet grass that is DDO.

DDOians for a better DDO! (DDOfabDDO)
kyro90
Posts: 4,400
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2012 9:54:08 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/31/2012 9:51:33 AM, yoda878 wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:11:34 AM, kyro90 wrote:
Well guys, you all know me as they wonderful, happy, talk able member of DDO. But, I am not actually very talk able in real life. In fact, I barely talk. Especially in school. I would like some help, Ya know... Some tips on overcoming my shyness. I can never seem to find up the courage to talk to people and some help would be GREATLY appreciated if it works.

So you have a little social anxiety, you need to force yourself out of your comfort zone. Get your mind set ready for this, be ok with the fact that you are going to be getting uncomfortable.
Start slow by just talking to someone you already know, but that you dont really talk much to. Then when you start to feel comfortable then you should move on and try meeting people. A good starter is just saying hi to people when you pass them, even if you don't know them. Smile, "hi"... that's it and keep going this is good practice, plus people do this all the time.

Where I go to, they would think im a creep.... O_O
Allow me to give you my card....
Oh you cant read? Pitty. It says,
You are now holding the card of the Awesome-Steller-Second-to-none-hot-cool-funny-incredible-magical-beautious-cuddly-warm-kitty-kat-like Secretary
yoda878
Posts: 902
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2012 9:55:03 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/31/2012 9:54:08 AM, kyro90 wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:51:33 AM, yoda878 wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:11:34 AM, kyro90 wrote:
Well guys, you all know me as they wonderful, happy, talk able member of DDO. But, I am not actually very talk able in real life. In fact, I barely talk. Especially in school. I would like some help, Ya know... Some tips on overcoming my shyness. I can never seem to find up the courage to talk to people and some help would be GREATLY appreciated if it works.

So you have a little social anxiety, you need to force yourself out of your comfort zone. Get your mind set ready for this, be ok with the fact that you are going to be getting uncomfortable.
Start slow by just talking to someone you already know, but that you dont really talk much to. Then when you start to feel comfortable then you should move on and try meeting people. A good starter is just saying hi to people when you pass them, even if you don't know them. Smile, "hi"... that's it and keep going this is good practice, plus people do this all the time.

Where I go to, they would think im a creep.... O_O

see that's why you don't talk your mind set is not in it.
Me
kyro90
Posts: 4,400
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2012 9:56:47 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/31/2012 9:55:03 AM, yoda878 wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:54:08 AM, kyro90 wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:51:33 AM, yoda878 wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:11:34 AM, kyro90 wrote:
Well guys, you all know me as they wonderful, happy, talk able member of DDO. But, I am not actually very talk able in real life. In fact, I barely talk. Especially in school. I would like some help, Ya know... Some tips on overcoming my shyness. I can never seem to find up the courage to talk to people and some help would be GREATLY appreciated if it works.

So you have a little social anxiety, you need to force yourself out of your comfort zone. Get your mind set ready for this, be ok with the fact that you are going to be getting uncomfortable.
Start slow by just talking to someone you already know, but that you dont really talk much to. Then when you start to feel comfortable then you should move on and try meeting people. A good starter is just saying hi to people when you pass them, even if you don't know them. Smile, "hi"... that's it and keep going this is good practice, plus people do this all the time.

Where I go to, they would think im a creep.... O_O

see that's why you don't talk your mind set is not in it.

It just seems so..... Confusing... Can I get this in steps?
Allow me to give you my card....
Oh you cant read? Pitty. It says,
You are now holding the card of the Awesome-Steller-Second-to-none-hot-cool-funny-incredible-magical-beautious-cuddly-warm-kitty-kat-like Secretary
DetectableNinja
Posts: 6,043
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2012 10:15:19 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Well, being shy or quiet is not the knell of any possibility for a relationship. In fact, I know of many people who find that quality desirable.

If you're looking for a girlfriend or boyfriend, my advice would be to stop that. Active worry and seeking will very likely lead you to a relationship where no one is truly happy.

The honest truth is that it's highly likely that any relationship you have won't last for a very long time, nor be maintained for the rest of your life. Not that you thought it would, but my point is that it really isn't the end of the world if you don't end up in a relationship.

Having said that though, if you aren't actively looking and are just living your life and doing what you do, a relationship may just land in your lap. In the words of John Lennon, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." I feel the same applies to love.
Think'st thou heaven is such a glorious thing?
I tell thee, 'tis not half so fair as thou
Or any man that breathes on earth.

- Christopher Marlowe, Doctor Faustus
yoda878
Posts: 902
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2012 10:20:27 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/31/2012 9:56:47 AM, kyro90 wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:55:03 AM, yoda878 wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:54:08 AM, kyro90 wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:51:33 AM, yoda878 wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:11:34 AM, kyro90 wrote:
Well guys, you all know me as they wonderful, happy, talk able member of DDO. But, I am not actually very talk able in real life. In fact, I barely talk. Especially in school. I would like some help, Ya know... Some tips on overcoming my shyness. I can never seem to find up the courage to talk to people and some help would be GREATLY appreciated if it works.

So you have a little social anxiety, you need to force yourself out of your comfort zone. Get your mind set ready for this, be ok with the fact that you are going to be getting uncomfortable.
Start slow by just talking to someone you already know, but that you dont really talk much to. Then when you start to feel comfortable then you should move on and try meeting people. A good starter is just saying hi to people when you pass them, even if you don't know them. Smile, "hi"... that's it and keep going this is good practice, plus people do this all the time.

Where I go to, they would think im a creep.... O_O

see that's why you don't talk your mind set is not in it.

It just seems so..... Confusing... Can I get this in steps?

your gonna be uncomfortable because you are nerves and think to much about it.

1. stop being so self conscious: I bet you think about how you are walking and how you are standing and other things about your self and body... let me know if i am right?

2. Get uncomfortable: Like i said you will not overcome it with out stepping out of your comfort zone.
a) If you make eye contact with any one in passing, say hi, (or hey) don't think anything of it just say hi and keep walking, oh and remember to smile.
Do not, I repeat do not, look down and keep walking if you make eye contact. At least smile if noting else.
b) Join a group that likes some things you like.... From your post, I really think you would like drama. Take a course like that, they also teach you how to get out of your comfort zone, and have fun.
c)Try small talk like if your waiting in line for a soda to the girl/boy by you... "man they need more coke machines"
Me
Kleptin
Posts: 5,095
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2012 10:27:27 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/31/2012 9:11:34 AM, kyro90 wrote:
Well guys, you all know me as they wonderful, happy, talk able member of DDO. But, I am not actually very talk able in real life. In fact, I barely talk. Especially in school. I would like some help, Ya know... Some tips on overcoming my shyness. I can never seem to find up the courage to talk to people and some help would be GREATLY appreciated if it works.

Hello Me of 6 years ago. I have plenty of advice for you. I'm not exactly class president, but I went from being complete, mute, social outcast to being the center of several large cliques. It's actually easy, but it takes a lot of time for us naturally introverted people to mimic naturally extroverted people to any degree.

1. Watch other people. Listen to what they talk about, pay attention to how they talk.

2. Be aware of people's facial expressions, tone, and body language. Learn how to recognize when they want to talk, what they want to hear, when they want a conversation to end, whether or not they want to continue speaking to you, etc.

3. Look at your class and find the people who don't seem to speak to anyone else either. Start talking to them. Build up from there. There's an invisible social ranking in any group. Learn to detect it.

4. You have great control over how you present yourself. Your hair, clothes, etc. all send a message to people. Look at how the most talkative people in class present themselves, dress in that manner. Look approachable.

5. Smile. A lot. Not in a creepy way, just look happy to be where you are. People like happy people.

6. Get a retail job. Anyone who has ever had a retail job knows what I'm talking about. Start chatting up customers behind the counter. Learn to actively listen and resolve issues. Learn empathy.

7. Read books on communication. Practice on those customers.

***

My personal tactics:

I started off with a great difficulty in saying hello, and the way I bypassed that is something of a habit that I can't fully get rid of. Instead of saying hello, I say "It's X!" to anyone I speak to. It also helps me learn people's names. For some reason, saying "Hey, it's Eric!" or "Hey! it's Joe!" just seemed easier. Simple conversation starters like "How's it going?" will give you more information.

Second tactic: Teasing people you don't feel comfortable teasing. If Joe or Eric is obviously more popular than you, then you might feel uncomfortable teasing him.

Me: "Hey, it's Eric!"
Eric: 'Sup!
Me: "How's it going?"
Eric: Ehh, alright.

*Me: Alright? Not spectacular? Not awesome? What's wrong with you?*

Tone is important. "What's wrong with you" has become an overused phrase for me in starting conversations, because it makes people think, and it jars them. When people think, it buys you time. When you jar people, they tend to open up and be a little more personal because they want to defend themselves.

Eric: Nothing's WRONG, it's just---

And there can be a billion different things at this point. "I'm tired", "Got that test tomorrow", "Crashed my car", "Parents are fighting". Whatever it may be, you've got yourself a conversation.

***

Playful teasing is probably the best way to start a conversation so long as it stays within social boundaries. I still have a habit of narrating instead of addressing people directly.

*Joe is resting his head*

Me: Hey, it's Joe!
Joe: *hmm?*
Me: Joe's still hungover from the 12 shots of whiskey he had last night.
Joe: What?? No!

And now we have another conversation going.

***

If you get better at it, you can start pulling people INTO conversations.

Me: Well Eric, at least you're not as tired as Joe, he's passed the F out. Lookit!

Maybe you'll get some chuckles. Two people who were previously not talking to anyone are now in a three-way conversation. Now, the worst possible thing that could happen, is if they start talking to each other.

***

Controlling and intruding.

Joe and Eric get into the subject of bowling, or really, any other hobby. You've never bowled before. You need to interject fast. There's a very small social window for you to climb through before you're cut off.

Me: waaait, wait. Is bowling the one where you throw the ball at the pins and stuff?
Joe&Eric: blank stare
Me: What? I never went bowling before. Sue me :D So what, you just try to knock down as many pins as possible?

Now you've turned their attention on you. Everyone likes to teach, almost as much as they like to talk about themselves. Now, you're equipped with some basic information. You'll obviously scour the internet for more information later, but for now, you roll with the punches.

Joe: Wait, you've never bowled a strike before?
Eric: Yeah, never have
Me: Oh come on, they do it all the time on TV, it can't be that hard.

In all conversations, there is a dynamic. It's always going to be a majority vs a minority. There can be flux, but you should be in the minority as little as possible. You want to put Eric in the minority here.

Me: Look, I've never bowled before. If we go bowling, I swear I'll bowl at least ONE strike. You doing anything afterschool?

***

Bam. Now you have a social activity and a budding group of friends. Not that hard.
: At 5/2/2010 2:43:54 PM, innomen wrote:
It isn't about finding a theory, philosophy or doctrine and thinking it's the answer, but a practical application of one's experiences that is the answer.

: At 10/28/2010 2:40:07 PM, jharry wrote: I have already been given the greatest Gift that anyone could ever hope for [Life], I would consider myself selfish if I expected anything more.
kyro90
Posts: 4,400
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2012 10:46:34 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Hmmm... Well all of these tips look very helpfull. Ill definitly try these. Thanks guys!
Allow me to give you my card....
Oh you cant read? Pitty. It says,
You are now holding the card of the Awesome-Steller-Second-to-none-hot-cool-funny-incredible-magical-beautious-cuddly-warm-kitty-kat-like Secretary
Kleptin
Posts: 5,095
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2012 10:48:17 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/31/2012 9:46:51 AM, caveat wrote:
Stop caring what other people think about you. Done.

That's not good for anyone past their teens.
: At 5/2/2010 2:43:54 PM, innomen wrote:
It isn't about finding a theory, philosophy or doctrine and thinking it's the answer, but a practical application of one's experiences that is the answer.

: At 10/28/2010 2:40:07 PM, jharry wrote: I have already been given the greatest Gift that anyone could ever hope for [Life], I would consider myself selfish if I expected anything more.
caveat
Posts: 2,137
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2012 10:53:32 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/31/2012 10:48:17 AM, Kleptin wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:46:51 AM, caveat wrote:
Stop caring what other people think about you. Done.

That's not good for anyone past their teens.

Indeed, however I'd love to meet anyone who managed to fully accomplish that. The point is that those who mind, don't matter, and those who matter, don't mind.
There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. " Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties.
Kleptin
Posts: 5,095
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2012 11:01:56 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/31/2012 10:53:32 AM, caveat wrote:
At 5/31/2012 10:48:17 AM, Kleptin wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:46:51 AM, caveat wrote:
Stop caring what other people think about you. Done.

That's not good for anyone past their teens.

Indeed, however I'd love to meet anyone who managed to fully accomplish that. The point is that those who mind, don't matter, and those who matter, don't mind.

Ugh. More cliches. The problem is that you won't ever get to set up a rapport with people if you don't care about what other people think. If you present yourself in that way, you lock yourself out of *everything*. Friends, love, even jobs and promotions.

Good, long-term relationships where the other person "doesn't mind" don't just manifest instantly. They need to be built on.

Besides, anyone who hasn't known responsibility outside of themselves has absolutely no idea who or what they are. You *need* society to give you a clearer picture of you you are and what you can be, because your ideal sense of self as a teenager is most likely someone you'll want to toss into a pit of tigers 10 years later.
: At 5/2/2010 2:43:54 PM, innomen wrote:
It isn't about finding a theory, philosophy or doctrine and thinking it's the answer, but a practical application of one's experiences that is the answer.

: At 10/28/2010 2:40:07 PM, jharry wrote: I have already been given the greatest Gift that anyone could ever hope for [Life], I would consider myself selfish if I expected anything more.
yoda878
Posts: 902
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2012 12:48:50 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Also one more thing...
Just because someone excepts you and you make friends doesn't mean you should be their friend. If they are into something that is bad for you or goes ageist what you believe in, move on you are better then that.

Just thought this was important to bring up. ;) good luck
Me
Contra
Posts: 3,941
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
6/1/2012 8:18:52 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/31/2012 9:56:47 AM, kyro90 wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:55:03 AM, yoda878 wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:54:08 AM, kyro90 wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:51:33 AM, yoda878 wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:11:34 AM, kyro90 wrote:
Well guys, you all know me as they wonderful, happy, talk able member of DDO. But, I am not actually very talk able in real life. In fact, I barely talk. Especially in school. I would like some help, Ya know... Some tips on overcoming my shyness. I can never seem to find up the courage to talk to people and some help would be GREATLY appreciated if it works.

So you have a little social anxiety, you need to force yourself out of your comfort zone. Get your mind set ready for this, be ok with the fact that you are going to be getting uncomfortable.
Start slow by just talking to someone you already know, but that you dont really talk much to. Then when you start to feel comfortable then you should move on and try meeting people. A good starter is just saying hi to people when you pass them, even if you don't know them. Smile, "hi"... that's it and keep going this is good practice, plus people do this all the time.

Where I go to, they would think im a creep.... O_O

see that's why you don't talk your mind set is not in it.

It just seems so..... Confusing... Can I get this in steps?

Well, I would recommend just talking to people in class when you guys aren't doing much or are casually doing work instead of all serious work. Ask classmates for help before the teacher.

Be nice to others, and try to be calm, be yourself, and outgoing.

Join sports if you are good at them. Or, if you are really dedicated, join a team. A few years ago, I randomly started running 1 mile a day every other day, a month and a half before the track season began. After one month, I jumped my mileage to 3 miles every other day easy. I ended up surprisingly being for a short period that fastest kid on the distance team! Though not for long... it was cool regardless though.

I continued running, increasing mileage and listening to my iPod shuffle when I ran. I joined cross country, and I, like your situation, was pretty shy. I was quiet, until one day I decided to hang out with the guys more at cross country practice when we had free time and just chill. Over time, after running and having fun with the team, we have become a pretty good running group. I made it to varsity only several months after running.

But yeah, just being outgoing, joining extra curricular activities (I joined several including track, Cross country, student council [representative], Quiz Bowl, and Michigan Youth in Gov't - in which I was able to pass my single payer health care bill in the high school Michigan gov't). When you can interact with others with similar interests and just hang it is really fun. Um, be casual, cool, but keep up your grades and pursue your skills, and be yourself while being nice and casual. It works great.

Ironically, in 8th grade my one mile time was about 6.50, and a guy I know said I shouldn't join track because I was too slow and (he didn't know this) I was pretty young runner. The ironic thing is that today I reminded him that in 8th grade he told me this, while now I am probably the 3rd fastest overall kid in my grade, and am probably most known for my running skill. He said that he was probably just having a bad day and didn't mean any of that. And it was cool. My mile time (best) is now 5.16.

Just takes courage I guess.
"The solution [for Republicans] is to admit that Bush was a bad president, stop this racist homophobic stuff, stop trying to give most of the tax cuts to the rich, propose a real alternative to Obamacare that actually works, and propose smart free market solutions to our economic problems." - Distraff

"Americans are better off in a dynamic, free-enterprise-based economy that fosters economic growth, opportunity and upward mobility." - Paul Ryan
tvellalott
Posts: 10,864
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
6/3/2012 11:56:23 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/31/2012 9:11:34 AM, kyro90 wrote:
Well guys, you all know me as they wonderful, happy, talk able member of DDO. But, I am not actually very talk able in real life. In fact, I barely talk. Especially in school. I would like some help, Ya know... Some tips on overcoming my shyness. I can never seem to find up the courage to talk to people and some help would be GREATLY appreciated if it works.

I had the same problem. I started learning sleight of hand and I'd do magic for people at every available opportunity. Next thing I knew, I was the life of the party. People knew me when I couldn't even remember their faces (and I'm good with faces).
People spend their whole lives in a social cocoon of their own creation. Break free and be a beautiful (social) butterfly.

But don't do magic. That's my niche.
"Caitlyn Jenner is an incredibly brave and stunningly beautiful woman."

Muh threads
Using mafia tactics in real-life: http://www.debate.org...
6 years of DDO: http://www.debate.org...
Calvincambridge
Posts: 1,141
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
6/4/2012 11:08:54 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/3/2012 11:56:23 PM, tvellalott wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:11:34 AM, kyro90 wrote:
Well guys, you all know me as they wonderful, happy, talk able member of DDO. But, I am not actually very talk able in real life. In fact, I barely talk. Especially in school. I would like some help, Ya know... Some tips on overcoming my shyness. I can never seem to find up the courage to talk to people and some help would be GREATLY appreciated if it works.

I had the same problem. I started learning sleight of hand and I'd do magic for people at every available opportunity. Next thing I knew, I was the life of the party. People knew me when I couldn't even remember their faces (and I'm good with faces).
People spend their whole lives in a social cocoon of their own creation. Break free and be a beautiful (social) butterfly.

But don't do magic. That's my niche.

what about hypnosis?
Trying to figure out women is like trying to solve a Rubik's cube with missing pieces. While blind. And on fire. And being shot.-Agent_Orange
Dude. Shades
That is all.- Thaddeus Rivers
One thing that isn't a joke though is the fact that woman are computers.Some buttons you can press and it'l work fine, but if you push the wrong one you'll get the blue screen of death.
silly, thett. girls are only good for sex. being friends with a female is of no value.-darkkermit
tvellalott
Posts: 10,864
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
6/4/2012 8:36:23 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/4/2012 11:08:54 AM, Calvincambridge wrote:
At 6/3/2012 11:56:23 PM, tvellalott wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:11:34 AM, kyro90 wrote:
Well guys, you all know me as they wonderful, happy, talk able member of DDO. But, I am not actually very talk able in real life. In fact, I barely talk. Especially in school. I would like some help, Ya know... Some tips on overcoming my shyness. I can never seem to find up the courage to talk to people and some help would be GREATLY appreciated if it works.

I had the same problem. I started learning sleight of hand and I'd do magic for people at every available opportunity. Next thing I knew, I was the life of the party. People knew me when I couldn't even remember their faces (and I'm good with faces).
People spend their whole lives in a social cocoon of their own creation. Break free and be a beautiful (social) butterfly.

But don't do magic. That's my niche.

what about hypnosis?

Based into my research on the subject, I'm incompatible with hypnotic techniques, so go for it...
"Caitlyn Jenner is an incredibly brave and stunningly beautiful woman."

Muh threads
Using mafia tactics in real-life: http://www.debate.org...
6 years of DDO: http://www.debate.org...
bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
6/5/2012 2:35:40 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/3/2012 11:56:23 PM, tvellalott wrote:
At 5/31/2012 9:11:34 AM, kyro90 wrote:
Well guys, you all know me as they wonderful, happy, talk able member of DDO. But, I am not actually very talk able in real life. In fact, I barely talk. Especially in school. I would like some help, Ya know... Some tips on overcoming my shyness. I can never seem to find up the courage to talk to people and some help would be GREATLY appreciated if it works.

I had the same problem. I started learning sleight of hand and I'd do magic for people at every available opportunity. Next thing I knew, I was the life of the party. People knew me when I couldn't even remember their faces (and I'm good with faces).
People spend their whole lives in a social cocoon of their own creation. Break free and be a beautiful (social) butterfly.

But don't do magic. That's my niche.

You need to make more magic videos.
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush