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Seeking advice on a girl

darkkermit
Posts: 11,204
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6/10/2012 2:07:54 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
So this will only make this overdone for every guy on the DDO forums. There's this girl that I'm interested in. I have her number and facebook frriends with her and have hung out with her before. However, Its not like I hang out and talk to her often, so I'm not sure If I could be considered "friendzoned" yet.

Anyways, she's in my home state and seems interesting in hanging out with me. I want to transition to relationship status but don't know how to do it or if it is even worth doing. I mean, I don't think we'll be in a situation in which we'll be living in close proximate for a long period of time. I'm worried about meeting with her alone and being awkward around her. I'm not sure If it would be more appropriate to hang out with her in a group setting first and what would be a good group to set up for her.

I actually hung out with her before in a one-on-one setting. However, I'm just kind of nervous about the whole ordeal. Last time we (accidentally) saw a terrible movie and just made fun of it. I feel like recreating that scenario with another bad movie. And it would just be weird too because I still live with my parents.

So yea.....any advice DDO?
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darkkermit
Posts: 11,204
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6/10/2012 2:10:55 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
I should also note that I actually do value her as a friend so I don't want to risk losing my friendship with her.
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bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
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6/10/2012 2:24:23 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Is this a joke?
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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6/10/2012 2:25:53 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
I'd be most worried about the fact that you're leaving soon. (aren't you?)
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
darkkermit
Posts: 11,204
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6/10/2012 2:26:49 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/10/2012 2:25:53 AM, Oryus wrote:
I'd be most worried about the fact that you're leaving soon. (aren't you?)

I have no idea what I'm doing.
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bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
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6/10/2012 2:27:13 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/10/2012 2:24:57 AM, darkkermit wrote:
At 6/10/2012 2:24:23 AM, bossyburrito wrote:
Is this a joke?

No, Y?

I was just wondering, because there has been an influx of these relationship advise threads.
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush
darkkermit
Posts: 11,204
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6/10/2012 2:30:18 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/10/2012 2:27:13 AM, bossyburrito wrote:
At 6/10/2012 2:24:57 AM, darkkermit wrote:
At 6/10/2012 2:24:23 AM, bossyburrito wrote:
Is this a joke?

No, Y?

I was just wondering, because there has been an influx of these relationship advise threads.

I decided to follow the crowd.
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Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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6/10/2012 2:31:11 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/10/2012 2:20:22 AM, Rockylightning wrote:
Ask her out. If you stay in the friendzone too long things won't go well.

Don't do this. There is nothing wrong with staying in the friend zone, as the best boyfriends are called up to the big leagues from the minor league friend zone.

Do you hang out just the two of you or in groups? If groups, how big are the groups and what is the sausage to taco ratio? One thing that worked for me (technically, against me) is to do a group event that pairs off. Like going to an amusement park and make sure you always sit next to her on the roller coaster rides. Or if you go to the movies as a group, try to sit next to her and see if anything sparks.
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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6/10/2012 2:32:53 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/10/2012 2:26:49 AM, darkkermit wrote:
At 6/10/2012 2:25:53 AM, Oryus wrote:
I'd be most worried about the fact that you're leaving soon. (aren't you?)

I have no idea what I'm doing.

Ohh, I thought you did.

And why do you say you'll feel awkward? Just nervous?
For the most part, I don't feel like I have anything to say to you that you don't already know.

Probably shouldn't bring her to the parental units house- as much as possible anyway.
It'd be good to do something that might make you both laugh- like watching a dumb movie or a funny movie. But it's also good to get to talking in the very beginning.

Ah, flirting is fun. I envy you a bit. :)
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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6/10/2012 2:34:09 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/10/2012 2:31:11 AM, Ore_Ele wrote:
At 6/10/2012 2:20:22 AM, Rockylightning wrote:
Ask her out. If you stay in the friendzone too long things won't go well.

Don't do this. There is nothing wrong with staying in the friend zone, as the best boyfriends are called up to the big leagues from the minor league friend zone.

Do you hang out just the two of you or in groups? If groups, how big are the groups and what is the sausage to taco ratio? One thing that worked for me (technically, against me) is to do a group event that pairs off. Like going to an amusement park and make sure you always sit next to her on the roller coaster rides. Or if you go to the movies as a group, try to sit next to her and see if anything sparks.

I agree with Ore that there isn't really a ... um.. time limit or what have you on that. I had actually never heard of this in my life until I came to DDO.
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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6/10/2012 2:37:57 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
truly, that is what my first gf did to me. We went on a band trip and in our group of friends she say next to me on the bus and on roller coaster rides. We ended up dating for a little over a year. It didn't last, but her sitting next to me a lot and being close worked to get things started.
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
darkkermit
Posts: 11,204
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6/10/2012 2:39:18 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/10/2012 2:31:11 AM, Ore_Ele wrote:
At 6/10/2012 2:20:22 AM, Rockylightning wrote:
Ask her out. If you stay in the friendzone too long things won't go well.

Don't do this. There is nothing wrong with staying in the friend zone, as the best boyfriends are called up to the big leagues from the minor league friend zone.

Time is not on my side. I'm not sure If she's going to law school or going straight into nursing. If she's nursing, I'm up against doctors. The one "good" thing about doctors are that most of them are old. Unless we're including med students and residential. They don't pay well, but she'd have to have incredibly low time preference for that to matter. Either way, waiting around until she finds a boyfriend isn't a good idea.

Do you hang out just the two of you or in groups? If groups, how big are the groups and what is the sausage to taco ratio? One thing that worked for me (technically, against me) is to do a group event that pairs off. Like going to an amusement park and make sure you always sit next to her on the roller coaster rides. Or if you go to the movies as a group, try to sit next to her and see if anything sparks.

I've only hung out with her 3 or 4 times. Once with just the two of us. The second with 2 other friends from my college, and the third time with a gay friend of mine. Not sure if I hung out with her twice with my gay friend.
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darkkermit
Posts: 11,204
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6/10/2012 2:54:26 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/10/2012 2:32:53 AM, Oryus wrote:
At 6/10/2012 2:26:49 AM, darkkermit wrote:
At 6/10/2012 2:25:53 AM, Oryus wrote:
I'd be most worried about the fact that you're leaving soon. (aren't you?)

I have no idea what I'm doing.

Ohh, I thought you did.

Nope :p.

And why do you say you'll feel awkward? Just nervous?

I'm not good at conversing with people.

For the most part, I don't feel like I have anything to say to you that you don't already know.

Yea, I kind of realize that its improbable that anybody can give me golden advice, since there really is no "golden" advice.

Probably shouldn't bring her to the parental units house- as much as possible anyway.

Well then my only alternative is to go to a public place. Going to a restaurant would make me feel really uncomfortable because there are people around which would limit my actions and conversations with her. In movies, you don't talk, so there would be no way to actually get to know here better.

I'm thinking something like rock climbing would be good. Ore_ele suggested an amusement park. Although that's like a whole day trip with her alone that I'd feel uncomfortable with.

I need a full-time job before I can actually move out. And lets say I do move out. It would still have to be close area to where I live, otherwise she wouldn't want to travel more than half an hour to just "hang out".

It'd be good to do something that might make you both laugh- like watching a dumb movie or a funny movie. But it's also good to get to talking in the very beginning.

that's what i was thinking. but we can speak during the movies in a movie theater.

Ah, flirting is fun. I envy you a bit. :)

there's really nothing to envy about me.
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Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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6/10/2012 3:11:59 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/10/2012 2:54:26 AM, darkkermit wrote:
At 6/10/2012 2:32:53 AM, Oryus wrote:
At 6/10/2012 2:26:49 AM, darkkermit wrote:
At 6/10/2012 2:25:53 AM, Oryus wrote:
I'd be most worried about the fact that you're leaving soon. (aren't you?)

I have no idea what I'm doing.

Ohh, I thought you did.

Nope :p.

And why do you say you'll feel awkward? Just nervous?

I'm not good at conversing with people.

I suppose if you knew the reason for this, you'd be working on it. I think many people on DDO are like this- I bet a larger percentage than the general population.
But I don't know what you personally should do about it because I don't know you well enough to say.
For the most part, I don't feel like I have anything to say to you that you don't already know.

Yea, I kind of realize that its improbable that anybody can give me golden advice, since there really is no "golden" advice.

Probably shouldn't bring her to the parental units house- as much as possible anyway.

Well then my only alternative is to go to a public place. Going to a restaurant would make me feel really uncomfortable because there are people around which would limit my actions and conversations with her. In movies, you don't talk, so there would be no way to actually get to know here better.

I'm thinking something like rock climbing would be good. Ore_ele suggested an amusement park. Although that's like a whole day trip with her alone that I'd feel uncomfortable with.

Or a zoo or a museum. Those are places where you can walk around and talk and then maybe have lunch or something.

I like going to lakes or beaches for dates too. That always makes for fun flirting times :)
I need a full-time job before I can actually move out. And lets say I do move out. It would still have to be close area to where I live, otherwise she wouldn't want to travel more than half an hour to just "hang out".

It'd be good to do something that might make you both laugh- like watching a dumb movie or a funny movie. But it's also good to get to talking in the very beginning.

that's what i was thinking. but we can speak during the movies in a movie theater.

Ah, flirting is fun. I envy you a bit. :)

there's really nothing to envy about me.

Hahah! Didn't you know? There's something to envy about everybody. That's how envy works.
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.