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Sketchy "Friend"

OMGJustinBieber
Posts: 3,484
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6/21/2012 11:03:36 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
So at work orientation I met this 18 year old and we started talking, that was probably like 2 weeks ago. He has a really fascinating backstory, but he's sketchy as fcuk. Tried about every drug on the planet, got busted in a coke raid in his hometown and after spending time in a halfway house moved to a small apartment here (he said he was not in the dealing ring, but he was dealing elsewhere.) I can live with druggies but I'm cautious, but then he told me recently threw a punch at a guy in school. Then the final straw was when he asked me on Monday whether I'd go back with him to his hometown to escort him to beat up a guy who was stalking his mom over xanax money.

So he's called me like 4 times in the past 5 days, and I hung out with him once where we went to the mall (he kept dodging security as he had been banned there like a week before for smoking weed) and since then I think he assumes we're friends. He's by far the most fascinating and sketchy person and I know, and I have no problem chatting with him at work but hanging out outside of work is a different thing. He apparently hasn't gotten the message that I've ignored his past 4 calls.

What do I do? Keep ignoring his calls? I'd also be fine buying weed from him and I certainly don't want to completely cut him off.

More details:

This past week:

-He requested a ride from me to the train station (said no.)
-He asked if I could fill his shift (said no.)
-Owes me $3.
bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
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6/21/2012 11:09:37 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
I would get him the fvck away from me ASAP.
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

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PARADIGM_L0ST
Posts: 6,958
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6/21/2012 12:54:54 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
What do I do? Keep ignoring his calls? I'd also be fine buying weed from him and I certainly don't want to completely cut him off.

More details:

This past week:

-He requested a ride from me to the train station (said no.)
-He asked if I could fill his shift (said no.)
-Owes me $3.:

Because you work with him, you have quite a dilemma. I think you should trust your gut on this one. He sounds like a hot mess and basically is headed down a path of destruction. The longer you hang out with this individual the more likely you will partake in his shennanigans and get yourself arrested or wrapped around a tree after a heavy night of drinking.

I would just be honest with him and tell him that you think he's pretty cool but you don't trust his judgment, and that you feel like he uses people. He will no doubt try to backtrack and regain your trust, but spell it out for him. With any luck he'll see how other people view him and either have some epiphany or will go on to another host.
"Have you ever considered suicide? If not, please do." -- Mouthwash (to Inferno)
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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6/21/2012 1:06:09 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I've known so many people like this.

I second paradigms statement.

Sounds like this kid needs some brain development STAT. Very poor risk assessment.
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
socialpinko
Posts: 10,458
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6/21/2012 6:18:55 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I cannot offer sound analysis unless you tell me how old you are.
: At 9/29/2014 10:55:59 AM, imabench wrote:
: : At 9/29/2014 9:43:46 AM, kbub wrote:
: :
: : DDO should discredit support of sexual violence at any time and in every way.
:
: I disagree.
OMGJustinBieber
Posts: 3,484
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6/21/2012 6:25:04 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/21/2012 6:18:55 PM, socialpinko wrote:
I cannot offer sound analysis unless you tell me how old you are.

The profile does not lie.
GeoLaureate8
Posts: 12,252
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6/21/2012 6:41:34 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/21/2012 1:06:09 PM, Oryus wrote:
I've known so many people like this.

Da fvck?! Ya'll livin some crazy a$$ lives.
"We must raise the standard of the Old, free, decentralized, and strictly limited Republic."
-- Murray Rothbard

"The worst thing that can happen to a good cause is, not to be skillfully attacked, but to be ineptly defended."
-- Frederic Bastiat
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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6/21/2012 6:52:01 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/21/2012 6:41:34 PM, GeoLaureate8 wrote:
At 6/21/2012 1:06:09 PM, Oryus wrote:
I've known so many people like this.

Da fvck?! Ya'll livin some crazy a$$ lives.

Not really. Hence the DDO account.
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
Aayu
Posts: 65
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6/21/2012 10:50:02 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I knew a person like this, except we both were the same age, and I'm sure there isn't any sexual attraction in your case.

Personally, my advice would be- don't. You'd gain nothing out of it. Start ignoring him, and gradually cut him off.

The excitement kind of started messing my outlook on life. The only positive thing was, that afterwards, I was so guilty of letting my parents down that I fulfilled their academic dream for me, and it kind of streamlined my life.
Cobo
Posts: 556
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6/21/2012 11:25:27 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/21/2012 11:03:36 AM, OMGJustinBieber wrote:
So at work orientation I met this 18 year old and we started talking, that was probably like 2 weeks ago. He has a really fascinating backstory, but he's sketchy as fcuk. Tried about every drug on the planet, got busted in a coke raid in his hometown and after spending time in a halfway house moved to a small apartment here (he said he was not in the dealing ring, but he was dealing elsewhere.) I can live with druggies but I'm cautious, but then he told me recently threw a punch at a guy in school. Then the final straw was when he asked me on Monday whether I'd go back with him to his hometown to escort him to beat up a guy who was stalking his mom over xanax money.

So he's called me like 4 times in the past 5 days, and I hung out with him once where we went to the mall (he kept dodging security as he had been banned there like a week before for smoking weed) and since then I think he assumes we're friends. He's by far the most fascinating and sketchy person and I know, and I have no problem chatting with him at work but hanging out outside of work is a different thing. He apparently hasn't gotten the message that I've ignored his past 4 calls.

What do I do? Keep ignoring his calls? I'd also be fine buying weed from him and I certainly don't want to completely cut him off.

More details:

This past week:

-He requested a ride from me to the train station (said no.)
-He asked if I could fill his shift (said no.)
-Owes me $3.

This guy.....
SOUNDS COOL AS FCUK!
YOLO!!
Church of the BANHAMMER GODS priest
innomen
Posts: 10,052
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6/22/2012 3:46:35 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
I've dealt with a lot of people like this, because of some of the work I do in my private, non-professional life.

You have to be careful of people like this because they are generally looking for what they can get from you, and by this I don't mean a normal friendship. You cannot trust them, and you cannot help them.

My basic policy toward most people that I have a bad feeling about, or even just a little bit of a concern with, is to keep an arms length away from them at all times. Be friendly to all, but close to few. I doubt there is a need to have a conversation where you actually have to explain your concerns, but rather vigilantly maintain some distance between the two of you.

There is often a certain fascination that I have with guys who are like this, but get too close and you'll get burned.
GeoLaureate8
Posts: 12,252
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6/22/2012 7:02:21 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I don't let any sketchy people like that into my life. Sure, I've come across them, but I don't put myself into a position to where I would even have to see a sketchy person like that on a daily basis.
"We must raise the standard of the Old, free, decentralized, and strictly limited Republic."
-- Murray Rothbard

"The worst thing that can happen to a good cause is, not to be skillfully attacked, but to be ineptly defended."
-- Frederic Bastiat
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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6/23/2012 2:20:11 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/21/2012 11:25:27 PM, Cobo wrote:
At 6/21/2012 11:03:36 AM, OMGJustinBieber wrote:
So at work orientation I met this 18 year old and we started talking, that was probably like 2 weeks ago. He has a really fascinating backstory, but he's sketchy as fcuk. Tried about every drug on the planet, got busted in a coke raid in his hometown and after spending time in a halfway house moved to a small apartment here (he said he was not in the dealing ring, but he was dealing elsewhere.) I can live with druggies but I'm cautious, but then he told me recently threw a punch at a guy in school. Then the final straw was when he asked me on Monday whether I'd go back with him to his hometown to escort him to beat up a guy who was stalking his mom over xanax money.

So he's called me like 4 times in the past 5 days, and I hung out with him once where we went to the mall (he kept dodging security as he had been banned there like a week before for smoking weed) and since then I think he assumes we're friends. He's by far the most fascinating and sketchy person and I know, and I have no problem chatting with him at work but hanging out outside of work is a different thing. He apparently hasn't gotten the message that I've ignored his past 4 calls.

What do I do? Keep ignoring his calls? I'd also be fine buying weed from him and I certainly don't want to completely cut him off.

More details:

This past week:

-He requested a ride from me to the train station (said no.)
-He asked if I could fill his shift (said no.)
-Owes me $3.

This guy.....
SOUNDS COOL AS FCUK!
YOLO!!

LOL!!!

That reminds me: https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net...
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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6/23/2012 2:24:20 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/22/2012 7:02:21 PM, GeoLaureate8 wrote:
I don't let any sketchy people like that into my life. Sure, I've come across them, but I don't put myself into a position to where I would even have to see a sketchy person like that on a daily basis.

In his defense, he does work with the guy.

It is definitely wise to keep people like this out of your life. They'll turn you into a doormat, an enemy, a bank, and/or a criminal. But they can't really be a friend in a give-and-take relationship if they have nothing to offer but trouble.
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
OMGJustinBieber
Posts: 3,484
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6/23/2012 3:12:42 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I'm cutting him off, but there have been various opinions as to how straight forward I should be. Innomen seems to believe that I should stay friendly and continue to make excuses, while I think earlier on in the thread people said I should stay friendly but be more straight-forward. At this point I'm leaning more towards Innomen's advice and if he keeps contacting me I'll probably just have to tell it to him straight.
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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6/23/2012 3:16:59 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/23/2012 3:12:42 PM, OMGJustinBieber wrote:
I'm cutting him off, but there have been various opinions as to how straight forward I should be. Innomen seems to believe that I should stay friendly and continue to make excuses, while I think earlier on in the thread people said I should stay friendly but be more straight-forward. At this point I'm leaning more towards Innomen's advice and if he keeps contacting me I'll probably just have to tell it to him straight.

The fact that you have to see him at work means you probably should be friendly for your own sake...
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
OMGJustinBieber
Posts: 3,484
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6/23/2012 3:24:30 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/23/2012 3:16:59 PM, Oryus wrote:
At 6/23/2012 3:12:42 PM, OMGJustinBieber wrote:
I'm cutting him off, but there have been various opinions as to how straight forward I should be. Innomen seems to believe that I should stay friendly and continue to make excuses, while I think earlier on in the thread people said I should stay friendly but be more straight-forward. At this point I'm leaning more towards Innomen's advice and if he keeps contacting me I'll probably just have to tell it to him straight.

The fact that you have to see him at work means you probably should be friendly for your own sake...

I actually don't see him that much, I only work 15 hours and we both work random shifts and even when we do work together we're usually in different parts of the store.
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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6/23/2012 3:30:33 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/23/2012 3:24:30 PM, OMGJustinBieber wrote:
At 6/23/2012 3:16:59 PM, Oryus wrote:
At 6/23/2012 3:12:42 PM, OMGJustinBieber wrote:
I'm cutting him off, but there have been various opinions as to how straight forward I should be. Innomen seems to believe that I should stay friendly and continue to make excuses, while I think earlier on in the thread people said I should stay friendly but be more straight-forward. At this point I'm leaning more towards Innomen's advice and if he keeps contacting me I'll probably just have to tell it to him straight.

The fact that you have to see him at work means you probably should be friendly for your own sake...

I actually don't see him that much, I only work 15 hours and we both work random shifts and even when we do work together we're usually in different parts of the store.

Well, that's good then. I got really lucky with the job I have now. I love everybody I work with.
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
tulle
Posts: 4,445
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6/23/2012 5:13:37 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
If it were me, I would not even try to be friends with someone like this. It might be exciting initially but eventually you just get sucked into a vortex of crazy.
yang.
Cody_Franklin
Posts: 9,484
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6/23/2012 6:23:41 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I'd say tell this guy straight, and as soon as possible. The longer you try to be friendly and delay, the more attached he'll probably get to you, and the more upset he'll probably be when you try to tell him the bad news. And, if this guy is that sketchy, I wouldn't risk upsetting him too terribly much.
tvellalott
Posts: 10,864
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6/23/2012 7:41:43 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Get him sacked.
Screen calls.
Steal three dollars worth of stuff from his front yard.
Buy weed elsewhere.
"Caitlyn Jenner is an incredibly brave and stunningly beautiful woman."

Muh threads
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ChickenTender
Posts: 40
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6/24/2012 7:08:24 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Looks to me there is a couple of separate issues here. First, seems like you have a bit of a fascination for the hustler/welcher lifestyle. Meaning, getting what you want from people by saying or implying you'll do something for them, and then not doing it, or doing it half-assed. Sometimes younger people can get stuck in a situation (domineering parents, crap job) where they are expected to give up their individuality in exchange for just having life's basics. Being a hustler in that case seems justifiable. Problem is, it becomes a very ingrained habit. You never really have a healthy relationship with anybody, because nobody can trust you.

The other issue is that you've crossed paths with somebody who's trouble. Sounds like his emotional maturity is grade school level. He gets angry and violent when he doesn't get what he wants. And he wants to be your friend. So be on guard for some kind of retaliation when it sinks in you don't want to be his friend.
MouthWash
Posts: 2,607
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6/25/2012 10:23:30 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/21/2012 6:25:04 PM, OMGJustinBieber wrote:
At 6/21/2012 6:18:55 PM, socialpinko wrote:
I cannot offer sound analysis unless you tell me how old you are.

The profile does not lie.

Really? A year ago you were a 14-year old bisexual girl.
"Well, that gives whole new meaning to my assassination. If I was going to die anyway, perhaps I should leave the Bolsheviks' descendants some Christmas cookies instead of breaking their dishes and vodka bottles in their sleep." -Tsar Nicholas II (YYW)