Total Posts:35|Showing Posts:1-30|Last Page
Jump to topic:

How do I build confidence?

airmax1227
Posts: 13,241
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/10/2012 8:22:24 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/10/2012 8:17:28 PM, johnnyboy54 wrote:
Murder

I hear US prisons are filled with people with really good self-esteem.. Anyone else know if this is actually true?

if it is, I suppose there might be some merit to it.. though assuming murder builds confidence based on this, would be a logical fallacy of some kind..

I suggest less insane methods.
Debate.org Moderator
nerdykiller
Posts: 856
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/10/2012 8:30:05 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/10/2012 8:17:28 PM, johnnyboy54 wrote:
Murder

Murder someone with me :D
then you have enough confidence to do whatever you want!
johnnyboy54
Posts: 6,362
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/10/2012 8:40:54 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/10/2012 8:22:24 PM, airmax1227 wrote:
At 7/10/2012 8:17:28 PM, johnnyboy54 wrote:
Murder

I hear US prisons are filled with people with really good self-esteem.. Anyone else know if this is actually true?

I didn't say you should get caught.

if it is, I suppose there might be some merit to it.. though assuming murder builds confidence based on this, would be a logical fallacy of some kind..

I suggest less insane methods.

Fine. Arson
I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.
BlackVoid
Posts: 9,170
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/10/2012 8:42:03 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/10/2012 8:22:24 PM, airmax1227 wrote:
At 7/10/2012 8:17:28 PM, johnnyboy54 wrote:
Murder

I hear US prisons are filled with people with really good self-esteem.. Anyone else know if this is actually true?

Probably. Confident people are more likely to think they won't be caught committing a crime, and thus commit one. Non-confident people probably talk themselves out of it.
belle
Posts: 4,113
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/10/2012 8:56:40 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/10/2012 8:22:24 PM, airmax1227 wrote:
At 7/10/2012 8:17:28 PM, johnnyboy54 wrote:
Murder

I hear US prisons are filled with people with really good self-esteem.. Anyone else know if this is actually true?

if it is, I suppose there might be some merit to it.. though assuming murder builds confidence based on this, would be a logical fallacy of some kind..

I suggest less insane methods.

yeah there was a study some time ago relating to bullys and self esteem that showed, contrary to popular belief, bullies (and prisionsrs) actually display above average self esteem, so interventions aimed at improving self esteem to decrease crime and bullying are a waste of effort. Too lazy to look up the study but I am sure a quick google search will net it

As for op, practice whatever it is you wanna be confident at. Best way by far
evidently i only come to ddo to avoid doing homework...
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/10/2012 9:15:32 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/10/2012 8:05:30 PM, royalpaladin wrote:
What are some things you do to build confidence?

alcohol.
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
RoyLatham
Posts: 4,488
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/10/2012 9:31:21 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Pick a couple of useful things and work on them until you are very proficient. Pick things that interest you and focus. No, not video games. Maybe learning to sail, or how to make web pages, or learn everything about Mark Twain.

Martial arts like aikido are good, because they teach mental discipline as well as build confidence.
Contra
Posts: 3,941
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/10/2012 9:37:29 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/10/2012 9:31:21 PM, RoyLatham wrote:
Pick a couple of useful things and work on them until you are very proficient. Pick things that interest you and focus. No, not video games. Maybe learning to sail, or how to make web pages, or learn everything about Mark Twain.

Martial arts like aikido are good, because they teach mental discipline as well as build confidence.

This is good advice, and was how I built confidence for myself. For me I chose to run, and the leaps in performance you can get for being dedicated, are just astounding.
"The solution [for Republicans] is to admit that Bush was a bad president, stop this racist homophobic stuff, stop trying to give most of the tax cuts to the rich, propose a real alternative to Obamacare that actually works, and propose smart free market solutions to our economic problems." - Distraff

"Americans are better off in a dynamic, free-enterprise-based economy that fosters economic growth, opportunity and upward mobility." - Paul Ryan
Lordknukle
Posts: 12,788
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/10/2012 9:39:59 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Do some public speaking in front of some 100+ people. I find that it not only increases confidence, but is actually pleasurable while you are doing it.
"Easy is the descent to Avernus, for the door to the Underworld lies upon both day and night. But to retrace your steps and return to the breezes above- that's the task, that's the toil."
Lasagna
Posts: 2,440
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/10/2012 10:01:18 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/10/2012 8:05:30 PM, royalpaladin wrote:
What are some things you do to build confidence?

Although it can give you temporary relief from inhibitions, alcohol has a cumulative negative effect on confidence and it can also weaken your emotional integrity while you're drunk.

Running, working out, and other exercising is how I maintain my confidence. You can really 'get the poison out' while running, defeating your inner doubts on the course and then enjoying the rush of confidence afterwards. Everyone's bodies evolved as runners, it isn't just 10% of the population that "is good at it." Running burns off fat as well so just looking in the mirror becomes a confidence-booster. Generally speaking, any way you can take care of yourself is a big help.

For a quick jolt of confidence, stand up nice and tall and compress your abs/back into good posture.
Rob
Ragnar_Rahl
Posts: 19,297
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/10/2012 10:26:43 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/10/2012 9:39:59 PM, Lordknukle wrote:
Do some public speaking in front of some 100+ people. I find that it not only increases confidence, but is actually pleasurable while you are doing it.

Yeah, you would like that wouldn't you you collectivist you. Speak to that collective!
It came to be at its height. It was commanded to command. It was a capital before its first stone was laid. It was a monument to the spirit of man.
tulle
Posts: 4,445
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/10/2012 11:45:44 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Fake it til you make it. If you lie to yourself enough you'll eventually come to believe it. My confidence comes from self delusions. It works.
yang.
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/11/2012 12:35:35 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
When I'm nervous, I like to give myself psych-up speeches. I try to make them ridiculous enough to make myself laugh. It calms me.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
YYW
Posts: 36,289
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/11/2012 5:13:40 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/10/2012 9:31:21 PM, RoyLatham wrote:
Pick a couple of useful things and work on them until you are very proficient. Pick things that interest you and focus. No, not video games. Maybe learning to sail, or how to make web pages, or learn everything about Mark Twain.

Martial arts like aikido are good, because they teach mental discipline as well as build confidence.

To the extent that proficiency is linked with one's confidence in their ability in any given skill or knowledge area, this is fantastic advice. But in the realm of human interaction? One does not simply "build" confidence, rather it is something that is assumed. It's often a self-worth issue where people don't have self confidence. They believe that "others" can do things better then they can, and in some cases that's true but that is hardly always the case. To build confidence, a person must just accept that they (1) are a valuable person who (2) has something to contribute to the society in which they live.

(I should note that an entire division of self help literature is devoted to this subject, which makes for amusing reading.)
Tsar of DDO
MrBrooks
Posts: 831
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/11/2012 6:06:16 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/10/2012 8:05:30 PM, royalpaladin wrote:
What are some things you do to build confidence?

You're kind of young; confidence tends to come with age and experience. When I was 18 I was very shy and had a hard time approaching people, now I don't really have a problem with approaching anybody. With other men I used to see myself as a child and I only ever felt comfortable with them if they were in a mentor position. With women it was worse; I couldn't even approach them. I think my friends put it best when they told me I was putting the pus$y on a pedestal, haha.

I used to force myself to walk up to people and talk to them, but that was just awkward. What really changed things for me was when I stopped caring about what other people thought, and stop measuring myself by the standards that I perceived society was setting for me. I used to think that people were judging me based on how many women I had been with, how deep my voice was, and how witty I was in a conversation.

For some people that was true, but over time I found that the people that mattered were judging me based on my character and my opinions. People used to tell me these things and I would tell myself they were true, but I would never really believe they were true. I can't really pin point the exact moment where it finally sunk in, but it was around when I turned twenty and stopped hanging out with some friends that were not very good friends.

I began valuing myself more as a person, and was more willing to forgive myself for embarrassing myself in social situations. Really forgiving yourself for looking like a jack as$ is huge, because it happens to even the best of us; Obama didn't realize he was reading an Irish PM's speech and ended up introducing himself to Ireland (side note: I think Obama is a terrible president, but you should already know that.)

Eventually I just kind of grew out of my shyness. I no longer have a problem talking to women, and I see myself as an equal around other guys. I still have problems when I'm placed into a role as a leader or a mentor (I'm way too informal,) but I'm slowly getting better as I have more experiences in these positions.

To sum it all up: you need to respect yourself and not dwell on mistakes, you need to not be afraid of embarrassing yourself, and most importantly; you should judge yourself based on your own standards and to hell with the rest of the world. Everyone is different, but when I adopted these approaches I felt a lot more confident in myself and I was more willing to put myself out there.
MrBrooks
Posts: 831
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/11/2012 6:14:07 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/10/2012 9:31:21 PM, RoyLatham wrote:
Pick a couple of useful things and work on them until you are very proficient. Pick things that interest you and focus. No, not video games. Maybe learning to sail, or how to make web pages, or learn everything about Mark Twain.

Martial arts like aikido are good, because they teach mental discipline as well as build confidence.

I'm not surprised that Roy is giving good advice. Being good at something builds confidence too, because it is a great way of proving to yourself that you have self-worth and that often gives you the confidence to involve yourself in other things.
TUF
Posts: 21,309
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/11/2012 10:02:31 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Good advice Brooks!

My piece:

Throw yourself into unconfortable situations. Force yourself to make a decision even when you have doubt on your mind. You could be wanting confidence in a great many different areas.

For example if you have a hard time talking to people.

Just randomly talk to someone, and when you don't know what to do, actually try and converse. Eventually you will develop confidence.
"I've got to go and grab a shirt" ~ Airmax1227
bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/12/2012 1:21:01 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
What really changed things for me was when I stopped caring about what other people thought, and stop measuring myself by the standards that I perceived society was setting for me.

This +infinity.
I just say Fvck it when it comes to confidence.
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush
Stephen_Hawkins
Posts: 5,316
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/12/2012 1:28:26 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/12/2012 1:23:11 AM, FREEDO wrote:
Grow a large penis.

this.
Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach him how to be Gay, he'll positively influence the GDP.

Social Contract Theory debate: http://www.debate.org...
GeoLaureate8
Posts: 12,252
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/12/2012 11:36:19 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Exercise
Listen to Hip Hop music (underground or golden era)
Find out who and what you truly are
Find a good job
"We must raise the standard of the Old, free, decentralized, and strictly limited Republic."
-- Murray Rothbard

"The worst thing that can happen to a good cause is, not to be skillfully attacked, but to be ineptly defended."
-- Frederic Bastiat
drafterman
Posts: 18,870
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/12/2012 11:37:29 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/10/2012 8:22:24 PM, airmax1227 wrote:
At 7/10/2012 8:17:28 PM, johnnyboy54 wrote:
Murder

I hear US prisons are filled with people with really good self-esteem.. Anyone else know if this is actually true?

if it is, I suppose there might be some merit to it.. though assuming murder builds confidence based on this, would be a logical fallacy of some kind..

I suggest less insane methods.

If there is a correlation between sociopathy and crime, then I'd buy it.
Kinesis
Posts: 3,667
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/12/2012 11:46:10 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/10/2012 9:31:21 PM, RoyLatham wrote:
Pick a couple of useful things and work on them until you are very proficient. Pick things that interest you and focus. No, not video games. Maybe learning to sail, or how to make web pages, or learn everything about Mark Twain.

Personally, I think there are video games that match the artistic quality of a Mark Twain novel. Plus video games are a contemporary form of entertainment that can be social as well. Learning everything about Twain seems kind of random.

Martial arts like aikido are good, because they teach mental discipline as well as build confidence.
Truth_seeker
Posts: 1,811
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/14/2014 8:18:37 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/10/2012 8:05:30 PM, royalpaladin wrote:
What are some things you do to build confidence?

Accept yourself, love yourself for who you are. Tell you what, tell yourself, say it outloud if need be "I love myself! I am a great person!" Write down a list of strengths and weaknesses and improve your weaknesses, but appreciate your strengths. Walk down the street with pride. The other day i was walking around in public and i was like "anybody got an opinion? Got someone who wants to judge? SCREW YOUR DANG OPINION! I DON'T NEED YOUR JUDGEMENTS! I'M UP IN THIS MOTHER! I'M UNIQUE UP IN THIS PIECE!" I don't care what people say about me: not the pastor, not girls, not men, etc. only the people who matter and everyone: girls, guys, old, etc. turned their heads and looked at me. Do things you wouldn't do before and learn to trust in your skills and abilities. Get out and do stuff you'd never do and be happy.
TUF
Posts: 21,309
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/16/2014 2:38:39 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/10/2012 9:15:32 PM, Ore_Ele wrote:
At 7/10/2012 8:05:30 PM, royalpaladin wrote:
What are some things you do to build confidence?

alcohol.

+1 this works for me 100% of the time, sadly.
"I've got to go and grab a shirt" ~ Airmax1227