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I Need Some Freedom

Jordan56
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8/4/2012 12:49:18 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Ok, so I know this will sound a bit pathetic, but I would like your opinion on what I should do with my overly protective parents.

Basically, my parents won't allow me to do things I really want to do. It feels as if I am trapped in my house. If I wanted to go out I would have to give my parents, especially my mom, a very detailed description of what is happening, where I'm going, or who I'll be with and even then its very rare they would allow me to leave.

One time I wanted to go to the park to just hang with a few of my friends. It was around 5:00 in the evening and I was about ready to leave. I just quickly told my mom what I was doing and then she told me that I was not allowed to leave. She gave the excuse that there was to much to do in the house and that is was getting too late. I had to stay home :(

This other time I actually tested to see how strict my mom was. It was around 5:00 again and I went out just to sit on my front porch. After about ten minutes, I saw my mom run out the house trying to call me on my cell phone in such a panic. She got really mad at me and told me to go back in the house. I couldn't even chill in front of my house.

Thats about it with my mom. Another thing that bothers me is I can't have my own sense of style. My parents basically shop for me. If there was a shirt or something I liked but my parents didn't i wouldn't be able to buy it. And yes, I only get to shop with my parents since they don't let me do it alone. I wanted to grow my hair a little longer and my dad didn't approve. He actually drove me to the barber shop and paid for my haircut. And its not like I was trying for some wild style, I just wanted a mini fro.

So please can you give me some advice. Im 19 and feel so trapped. I don't really want to move out until I graduate from university since my parents are paying for that. I want to make sure I'm financially stable first.
Jordan56
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8/4/2012 1:00:51 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/4/2012 12:56:06 AM, Koopin wrote:
Do you have a car, and do you pay rent?

I don't pay rent. Im trying to get a car this year. Still raising money for it, but right now my parents are giving me looks about the idea and I don't think they would allow me to get a car either even though I'm raising the money on my own.
SarcasticIndeed
Posts: 2,215
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8/4/2012 9:37:12 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
I'd rebell... Well, I don't know, I've never been in the situatuin, but I would be mad at my parents if they were like that to me. Try to explain to them that you don't need someone to keep an eye on you all the time. Hey have good intentions, they are just taking it too far. You're not small anymore...
<SIGNATURE CENSORED> nac
drafterman
Posts: 18,870
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8/4/2012 11:44:16 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/4/2012 12:49:18 AM, Jordan56 wrote:
Im 19 and feel so trapped. I don't really want to move out until I graduate from university since my parents are paying for that. I want to make sure I'm financially stable first.

First, talk to them. I'm not saying that's guaranteed to elicit any positive response, but unless a problem is made publicly known there can't be any expectation of resolving it.

Second, you're living there for free of your own volition. That is tacit acceptance of the conditions of your situation.
Jordan56
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8/4/2012 1:28:52 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Thanks for the advice. Honestly though, I don't really care how strict my parents are. I just would like for them to give me a descent curfew, say sometime between 10:00pm-12:00pm. That way I go about my business and get home at their set time. If that was to happen I would be okay with their trillions of chores and telling me what to do. I just want to go and hang out.
ConservativePolitico
Posts: 8,210
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8/4/2012 1:54:52 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Honestly, you might need to give them a wake up call.

You're 19. You should just leave one night and say "I'm going out, I'm 18, I'm a legal adult, trust me." and just go.

If you really think about it, how can they truly punish you if you don't let them?

I'd do this if talking to them doesn't work first though.
drafterman
Posts: 18,870
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8/4/2012 2:00:45 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/4/2012 1:54:52 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
Honestly, you might need to give them a wake up call.

You're 19. You should just leave one night and say "I'm going out, I'm 18, I'm a legal adult, trust me." and just go.

If you really think about it, how can they truly punish you if you don't let them?

Change the locks while he's out.


I'd do this if talking to them doesn't work first though.
mark.marrocco
Posts: 236
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8/4/2012 2:06:01 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/4/2012 12:49:18 AM, Jordan56 wrote:
Ok, so I know this will sound a bit pathetic, but I would like your opinion on what I should do with my overly protective parents.

Basically, my parents won't allow me to do things I really want to do. It feels as if I am trapped in my house. If I wanted to go out I would have to give my parents, especially my mom, a very detailed description of what is happening, where I'm going, or who I'll be with and even then its very rare they would allow me to leave.

One time I wanted to go to the park to just hang with a few of my friends. It was around 5:00 in the evening and I was about ready to leave. I just quickly told my mom what I was doing and then she told me that I was not allowed to leave. She gave the excuse that there was to much to do in the house and that is was getting too late. I had to stay home :(

This other time I actually tested to see how strict my mom was. It was around 5:00 again and I went out just to sit on my front porch. After about ten minutes, I saw my mom run out the house trying to call me on my cell phone in such a panic. She got really mad at me and told me to go back in the house. I couldn't even chill in front of my house.

Thats about it with my mom. Another thing that bothers me is I can't have my own sense of style. My parents basically shop for me. If there was a shirt or something I liked but my parents didn't i wouldn't be able to buy it. And yes, I only get to shop with my parents since they don't let me do it alone. I wanted to grow my hair a little longer and my dad didn't approve. He actually drove me to the barber shop and paid for my haircut. And its not like I was trying for some wild style, I just wanted a mini fro.

So please can you give me some advice. Im 19 and feel so trapped. I don't really want to move out until I graduate from university since my parents are paying for that. I want to make sure I'm financially stable first.

I'm with Drafter and Politico. You're 19. Talk to them first, tell them your concerns and desires directly. If they don't listen, then make them.

You're an adult, legally, so they can't hold you in your home at night. Technically, that might even be considered false imprisonment, I'm not sure. If I were you, I would simply not come home for a night (after talking to them, and if they don't listen) and stay at a friend's house. Don't even do anything crazy, but just don't come home. When your mother freaks out and calls the cops, they're going to have to explain to her that you're an adult and can't really have a curfew, especially not such a ridiculously early one.
"Belief is the death of intelligence. As soon as one believes a doctrine of any sort, or assumes certitude, one stops thinking about that aspect of existence."
ConservativePolitico
Posts: 8,210
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8/4/2012 2:06:57 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/4/2012 2:00:45 PM, drafterman wrote:
At 8/4/2012 1:54:52 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
Honestly, you might need to give them a wake up call.

You're 19. You should just leave one night and say "I'm going out, I'm 18, I'm a legal adult, trust me." and just go.

If you really think about it, how can they truly punish you if you don't let them?

Change the locks while he's out.


I'd do this if talking to them doesn't work first though.

Obviously they love him a little too much, that's the root of the problem it seems. They wouldn't do that. They want to keep him IN not OUT.
Jordan56
Posts: 1,987
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8/4/2012 8:23:26 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Well I tried something new this time. I actually invited "one" of my friends to come over to my house since I can't leave. I never really invited anyone over. My mom knows this person since we as a family have visited his place.

Anyways once he got over, I put him in my room so we could play my PS3. While that was happening my mom called me over and got extremely upset with me. She actually called my dad's cell and complained to him and he got extremely upset. Then my mom gave me a bunch of chores to do basically causing me not to enjoy the time with my company.

I understand its their house but its only one friend that they know and we were planning just to stay in my room and chill. Now I'm doing chores while he is in there playing my PS3.

So much for having a bit of fun over the weekend. I'm so pissed right now.

By the way, I did tell her that he was coming over. I guess she didn't take me seriously.
CrazyPerson
Posts: 1,114
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8/4/2012 8:42:35 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/4/2012 8:23:26 PM, Jordan56 wrote:
Well I tried something new this time. I actually invited "one" of my friends to come over to my house since I can't leave. I never really invited anyone over. My mom knows this person since we as a family have visited his place.

Anyways once he got over, I put him in my room so we could play my PS3. While that was happening my mom called me over and got extremely upset with me. She actually called my dad's cell and complained to him and he got extremely upset. Then my mom gave me a bunch of chores to do basically causing me not to enjoy the time with my company.

I understand its their house but its only one friend that they know and we were planning just to stay in my room and chill. Now I'm doing chores while he is in there playing my PS3.

So much for having a bit of fun over the weekend. I'm so pissed right now.

By the way, I did tell her that he was coming over. I guess she didn't take me seriously.

Hahaha, what the hell?! Grow some balls man you aren't 5. If they attempt to cut off your educational funding, they are just moronic and I would suggest claiming yourself as an independent and getting your own financial aid.
But we try to pretend, you see, that the external world exists altogether independently of us.
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The moralist is the person who tells people that they ought to be unselfish, when they still feel like egos, and his efforts are always and invariably futile.
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Jordan56
Posts: 1,987
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8/4/2012 8:51:01 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/4/2012 8:42:35 PM, CrazyPerson wrote:
At 8/4/2012 8:23:26 PM, Jordan56 wrote:
Well I tried something new this time. I actually invited "one" of my friends to come over to my house since I can't leave. I never really invited anyone over. My mom knows this person since we as a family have visited his place.

Anyways once he got over, I put him in my room so we could play my PS3. While that was happening my mom called me over and got extremely upset with me. She actually called my dad's cell and complained to him and he got extremely upset. Then my mom gave me a bunch of chores to do basically causing me not to enjoy the time with my company.

I understand its their house but its only one friend that they know and we were planning just to stay in my room and chill. Now I'm doing chores while he is in there playing my PS3.

So much for having a bit of fun over the weekend. I'm so pissed right now.

By the way, I did tell her that he was coming over. I guess she didn't take me seriously.

Hahaha, what the hell?! Grow some balls man you aren't 5. If they attempt to cut off your educational funding, they are just moronic and I would suggest claiming yourself as an independent and getting your own financial aid.

Thats what I'm saying. When my mom told me that she actually called my dad at work, I had this massive urge to just slap her. Thats how pissed I was. Man, I need to calm down though before I get taken for assault lol.
ConservativePolitico
Posts: 8,210
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8/4/2012 9:14:36 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/4/2012 8:23:26 PM, Jordan56 wrote:
Well I tried something new this time. I actually invited "one" of my friends to come over to my house since I can't leave. I never really invited anyone over. My mom knows this person since we as a family have visited his place.

Anyways once he got over, I put him in my room so we could play my PS3. While that was happening my mom called me over and got extremely upset with me. She actually called my dad's cell and complained to him and he got extremely upset. Then my mom gave me a bunch of chores to do basically causing me not to enjoy the time with my company.

I understand its their house but its only one friend that they know and we were planning just to stay in my room and chill. Now I'm doing chores while he is in there playing my PS3.

So much for having a bit of fun over the weekend. I'm so pissed right now.

By the way, I did tell her that he was coming over. I guess she didn't take me seriously.

Wow, no offence bro, but your parents are nuts.

What would they have done if you had said "I'm not doing chores, I have a guest over." ?

Jeez.
Jordan56
Posts: 1,987
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8/4/2012 9:18:50 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/4/2012 9:14:36 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
At 8/4/2012 8:23:26 PM, Jordan56 wrote:
Well I tried something new this time. I actually invited "one" of my friends to come over to my house since I can't leave. I never really invited anyone over. My mom knows this person since we as a family have visited his place.

Anyways once he got over, I put him in my room so we could play my PS3. While that was happening my mom called me over and got extremely upset with me. She actually called my dad's cell and complained to him and he got extremely upset. Then my mom gave me a bunch of chores to do basically causing me not to enjoy the time with my company.

I understand its their house but its only one friend that they know and we were planning just to stay in my room and chill. Now I'm doing chores while he is in there playing my PS3.

So much for having a bit of fun over the weekend. I'm so pissed right now.

By the way, I did tell her that he was coming over. I guess she didn't take me seriously.

Wow, no offence bro, but your parents are nuts.

What would they have done if you had said "I'm not doing chores, I have a guest over." ?

Jeez.

Yep thats basically what happened. I didn't tell them though. I just went to my room and chilled. Right now my mom is screaming out my name every five minutes saying she hopes the chores are finished. Im just ignoring her. My friend probably thinks were crazy lol.
ConservativePolitico
Posts: 8,210
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8/4/2012 9:20:17 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/4/2012 9:18:50 PM, Jordan56 wrote:
At 8/4/2012 9:14:36 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
At 8/4/2012 8:23:26 PM, Jordan56 wrote:
Well I tried something new this time. I actually invited "one" of my friends to come over to my house since I can't leave. I never really invited anyone over. My mom knows this person since we as a family have visited his place.

Anyways once he got over, I put him in my room so we could play my PS3. While that was happening my mom called me over and got extremely upset with me. She actually called my dad's cell and complained to him and he got extremely upset. Then my mom gave me a bunch of chores to do basically causing me not to enjoy the time with my company.

I understand its their house but its only one friend that they know and we were planning just to stay in my room and chill. Now I'm doing chores while he is in there playing my PS3.

So much for having a bit of fun over the weekend. I'm so pissed right now.

By the way, I did tell her that he was coming over. I guess she didn't take me seriously.

Wow, no offence bro, but your parents are nuts.

What would they have done if you had said "I'm not doing chores, I have a guest over." ?

Jeez.

Yep thats basically what happened. I didn't tell them though. I just went to my room and chilled. Right now my mom is screaming out my name every five minutes saying she hopes the chores are finished. Im just ignoring her. My friend probably thinks were crazy lol.

Good for you. Ignoring is probably the best right now.

I feel bad for your parents when you finally snap. It's bound to happen eventually. Up and coming adults are not meant to be treated that way. Eventually you're going to blow lol trust me, I know.
johnnyboy54
Posts: 6,362
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8/4/2012 9:25:02 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I don't agree with your parents technique. Some of the things they said to you are bullsh!t. And I kinda know where you are coming from. My parents were kinda like that for a while.

Assuming you don't pay rent and utilities, I would tell you to suck it up. Yes it sucks and yes the idea you can't go out at five at night is BS. But it is their house and while you live their you follow their rules. Now this is different if you pay rent.

I would suggest you move out. Its gonna suck, but its probably for the best.
I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.
thett3
Posts: 14,334
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8/4/2012 9:29:29 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Tell them that you're a legal adult, but keep in mind that they're (presumably) letting you live in their house for free.

I dont think you even have to be rude or mean about it. Tell them that it's bad for you for them to shelter you and isolate you so. This might be prying, but did your mother ever unexpectedly lose a family member or friend? Perhaps she's trying to prevent that from happening again by keeping you in her sights. That doesn't explain her anger at you having a friend over though...
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johnnyboy54
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8/4/2012 9:30:29 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/4/2012 9:29:29 PM, thett3 wrote:
Tell them that you're a legal adult, but keep in mind that they're (presumably) letting you live in their house for free.

I dont think you even have to be rude or mean about it. Tell them that it's bad for you for them to shelter you and isolate you so. This might be prying, but did your mother ever unexpectedly lose a family member or friend? Perhaps she's trying to prevent that from happening again by keeping you in her sights. That doesn't explain her anger at you having a friend over though...

The friend could be the BTK killer.

It makes perfect sense now.
I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.
Mirza
Posts: 16,992
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8/4/2012 9:33:49 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Read some material on too strict parenting, learn the facts, and gradually open them up before your parents. Start by describing your current feelings and what they could potentially lead to. I think they'll eventually understand.

If you get physical material (i.e., not e-books or the like), then hand it over to them. They'll be nearer to reasoning if they read something on the matter.
Jordan56
Posts: 1,987
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8/4/2012 9:43:11 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
After reading thett's comment it may have hinted to something. See I go to boarding university and am away most of the year so my parents probably really miss me or something. Also when I'm at school, I probably get used to not having curfew and being out past 1 so when I come back home I probably feel a little trapped.
johnnyboy54
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8/4/2012 9:46:52 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/4/2012 9:45:31 PM, MrBrooks wrote:
Bro, you're 19. Grow a pair of balls.

Not that simple. He is trying to juggle his wanting freedom with his relationship with his parents.
I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.
MrBrooks
Posts: 831
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8/4/2012 9:53:15 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/4/2012 9:46:52 PM, johnnyboy54 wrote:
At 8/4/2012 9:45:31 PM, MrBrooks wrote:
Bro, you're 19. Grow a pair of balls.

Not that simple. He is trying to juggle his wanting freedom with his relationship with his parents.

No, it is very simple. He's a grown man, he can go wherever he wants and on whatever terms he wants, and he shouldn't let anyone grill him for information or present a plan. If his parents can't understand that, then he shouldn't have a relationship with them.

Next time they try to hassle you about going out, just leave. I lived with my parents for a few months between the military and college, and I never told them when I went anywhere. At one point I was gone for a week, and when I came back it was like nothing even happened. Why?-because my mom knows that when she asks questions, I'm not going to answer them unless I want to. I set the terms for my relationships.
johnnyboy54
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8/4/2012 10:08:51 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/4/2012 9:53:15 PM, MrBrooks wrote:
At 8/4/2012 9:46:52 PM, johnnyboy54 wrote:
At 8/4/2012 9:45:31 PM, MrBrooks wrote:
Bro, you're 19. Grow a pair of balls.

Not that simple. He is trying to juggle his wanting freedom with his relationship with his parents.

No, it is very simple. He's a grown man, he can go wherever he wants and on whatever terms he wants, and he shouldn't let anyone grill him for information or present a plan. If his parents can't understand that, then he shouldn't have a relationship with them.

Okay. But my guess he lives there without paying rent and expense too. Who pays for his education? If he doesn't want that, then he is going to have to pay for all the things for himself. And to say he shouldn't consider the feelings of his parents seems insensitive and ungrateful.


Next time they try to hassle you about going out, just leave. I lived with my parents for a few months between the military and college, and I never told them when I went anywhere. At one point I was gone for a week, and when I came back it was like nothing even happened. Why?-because my mom knows that when she asks questions, I'm not going to answer them unless I want to. I set the terms for my relationships.

You were living at the house and you didn't tell her you would be gone? My parents would have been worried.

Regardless, then he better prepare to live completely on his own. It is irrational to expect the benefits of living like a child while wanting to be an adult and doing whatever you want. I'm living at home right now too. And there are certain things I have to deal with. Not nearly as bad, but I realize I have to live by their rules or move out.

If your parents don't care, then fine. However your relationship with your parents is not the same as his.
I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.
MrBrooks
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8/4/2012 10:24:40 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Okay. But my guess he lives there without paying rent and expense too. Who pays for his education? If he doesn't want that, then he is going to have to pay for all the things for himself. And to say he shouldn't consider the feelings of his parents seems insensitive and ungrateful.

Your own happiness and independence comes before that of your parents. If they use the fact that they pay for education or allow him to stay for free as leverage, then the simple solution is to pay for everything himself.

You were living at the house and you didn't tell her you would be gone? My parents would have been worried.

My parents know I come and go as I please, and they don't worry about me getting into trouble. They know I can take care of myself, so why would they worry? I give them money every month regardless of whether or not I'm there all month, so it doesn't really matter.

Regardless, then he better prepare to live completely on his own. It is irrational to expect the benefits of living like a child while wanting to be an adult and doing whatever you want. I'm living at home right now too. And there are certain things I have to deal with. Not nearly as bad, but I realize I have to live by their rules or move out.

I agree.

If your parents don't care, then fine. However your relationship with your parents is not the same as his.

He asked for advice, I gave it to him. The advice is simple, all he has to do is act like an adult and tell his parents that he's going to go where he pleases, and that it shouldn't matter so long as he follows the house rules and pays whatever dues that were established by his parents. In short, he needs to grow some balls.
Ren
Posts: 7,102
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8/5/2012 8:40:51 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/4/2012 12:49:18 AM, Jordan56 wrote:
Ok, so I know this will sound a bit pathetic, but I would like your opinion on what I should do with my overly protective parents.

Basically, my parents won't allow me to do things I really want to do. It feels as if I am trapped in my house. If I wanted to go out I would have to give my parents, especially my mom, a very detailed description of what is happening, where I'm going, or who I'll be with and even then its very rare they would allow me to leave.

One time I wanted to go to the park to just hang with a few of my friends. It was around 5:00 in the evening and I was about ready to leave. I just quickly told my mom what I was doing and then she told me that I was not allowed to leave. She gave the excuse that there was to much to do in the house and that is was getting too late. I had to stay home :(

This other time I actually tested to see how strict my mom was. It was around 5:00 again and I went out just to sit on my front porch. After about ten minutes, I saw my mom run out the house trying to call me on my cell phone in such a panic. She got really mad at me and told me to go back in the house. I couldn't even chill in front of my house.

Thats about it with my mom. Another thing that bothers me is I can't have my own sense of style. My parents basically shop for me. If there was a shirt or something I liked but my parents didn't i wouldn't be able to buy it. And yes, I only get to shop with my parents since they don't let me do it alone. I wanted to grow my hair a little longer and my dad didn't approve. He actually drove me to the barber shop and paid for my haircut. And its not like I was trying for some wild style, I just wanted a mini fro.

So please can you give me some advice. Im 19 and feel so trapped. I don't really want to move out until I graduate from university since my parents are paying for that. I want to make sure I'm financially stable first.

Wow, you sound abused. o.O That definitely sounds like emotional abuse.

In any case, my parents were quite similar. So, I moved out when I was 17.
sadolite
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8/6/2012 5:46:42 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/4/2012 12:49:18 AM, Jordan56 wrote:
Ok, so I know this will sound a bit pathetic, but I would like your opinion on what I should do with my overly protective parents.

Basically, my parents won't allow me to do things I really want to do. It feels as if I am trapped in my house. If I wanted to go out I would have to give my parents, especially my mom, a very detailed description of what is happening, where I'm going, or who I'll be with and even then its very rare they would allow me to leave.

One time I wanted to go to the park to just hang with a few of my friends. It was around 5:00 in the evening and I was about ready to leave. I just quickly told my mom what I was doing and then she told me that I was not allowed to leave. She gave the excuse that there was to much to do in the house and that is was getting too late. I had to stay home :(

This other time I actually tested to see how strict my mom was. It was around 5:00 again and I went out just to sit on my front porch. After about ten minutes, I saw my mom run out the house trying to call me on my cell phone in such a panic. She got really mad at me and told me to go back in the house. I couldn't even chill in front of my house.

Thats about it with my mom. Another thing that bothers me is I can't have my own sense of style. My parents basically shop for me. If there was a shirt or something I liked but my parents didn't i wouldn't be able to buy it. And yes, I only get to shop with my parents since they don't let me do it alone. I wanted to grow my hair a little longer and my dad didn't approve. He actually drove me to the barber shop and paid for my haircut. And its not like I was trying for some wild style, I just wanted a mini fro.

So please can you give me some advice. Im 19 and feel so trapped. I don't really want to move out until I graduate from university since my parents are paying for that. I want to make sure I'm financially stable first.

No. It doesn't sound pathetic it is pathetic. Move out or shut your face. You think it will be any different if someone else was paying your bills. Grow the fuk up move out and quit your whining. It gets way way way way way way way worse once you are on your own.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%
Jordan56
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8/7/2012 6:20:29 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/6/2012 5:46:42 PM, sadolite wrote:

No. It doesn't sound pathetic it is pathetic. Move out or shut your face. You think it will be any different if someone else was paying your bills. Grow the fuk up move out and quit your whining. It gets way way way way way way way worse once you are on your own.

I said earlier that I'm not financially stable to move out and am waiting to finish college. No point moving out while in college since I'm going away most of the year. I realize the difficulties in life and am prepared for that. I pay my own bills, the only one I don't pay is my school bill. The only thing I'm complaining about is my freedom, which I experience when I'm at school.

Also when I'm on my own. I'm pretty sure I will have way more leeway on things I can do. I already have a job so money is not an issue with me. I'm pretty sure I won't be stuck up in my house bored when I move out.