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Blowjobs

bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
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8/19/2012 7:04:11 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Blowhole jobs are better.
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush
MouthWash
Posts: 2,607
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8/19/2012 7:09:10 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/19/2012 7:01:48 PM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
The blowjob is the best invention in all of human history.

I assume you just had one?

Oh, Right. Guess not.
"Well, that gives whole new meaning to my assassination. If I was going to die anyway, perhaps I should leave the Bolsheviks' descendants some Christmas cookies instead of breaking their dishes and vodka bottles in their sleep." -Tsar Nicholas II (YYW)
Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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8/19/2012 9:27:47 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/19/2012 7:09:10 PM, MouthWash wrote:
At 8/19/2012 7:01:48 PM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
The blowjob is the best invention in all of human history.

I assume you just had one?

Oh, Right. Guess not.

Earlier today. It was the first time I've told someone "I'm going to cum," while she kept going until the end. Brave girl; I never expect anyone to do that because I'd expect swallowing to be gross, and I really don't care where the location my penis is when I finish. The girl is the most awesome person in the world just for doing it.

I broke my 2nd toe's metatarsal, and I've been in pain for about 36 hours, but during and following said sexual act I felt like I had been given heroin.

Once again, it's the best invention in all of human history.

"The intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex." -Edgar Wallace
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MouthWash
Posts: 2,607
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8/19/2012 9:31:22 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/19/2012 9:27:47 PM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
It was the first time I've told someone "I'm going to cum," while she kept going until the end.

How do you know it was not the other way around?
"Well, that gives whole new meaning to my assassination. If I was going to die anyway, perhaps I should leave the Bolsheviks' descendants some Christmas cookies instead of breaking their dishes and vodka bottles in their sleep." -Tsar Nicholas II (YYW)
MouthWash
Posts: 2,607
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8/19/2012 9:33:30 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I am wereing nothing.
"Well, that gives whole new meaning to my assassination. If I was going to die anyway, perhaps I should leave the Bolsheviks' descendants some Christmas cookies instead of breaking their dishes and vodka bottles in their sleep." -Tsar Nicholas II (YYW)
Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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8/19/2012 9:35:19 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/19/2012 9:31:22 PM, MouthWash wrote:
At 8/19/2012 9:27:47 PM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
It was the first time I've told someone "I'm going to cum," while she kept going until the end.

How do you know it was not the other way around?

Warned her three times. Surprising a girl like that is not really appreciated.
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Primal Diet. Lifting. Reading. Psychedelics. Cold-Approach Pickup. Music.
MouthWash
Posts: 2,607
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8/19/2012 9:36:27 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/19/2012 9:35:19 PM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
At 8/19/2012 9:31:22 PM, MouthWash wrote:
At 8/19/2012 9:27:47 PM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
It was the first time I've told someone "I'm going to cum," while she kept going until the end.

How do you know it was not the other way around?

Warned her three times. Surprising a girl like that is not really appreciated.

You want to talk about it?
"Well, that gives whole new meaning to my assassination. If I was going to die anyway, perhaps I should leave the Bolsheviks' descendants some Christmas cookies instead of breaking their dishes and vodka bottles in their sleep." -Tsar Nicholas II (YYW)
Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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8/19/2012 10:15:04 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/19/2012 9:36:27 PM, MouthWash wrote:
At 8/19/2012 9:35:19 PM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
At 8/19/2012 9:31:22 PM, MouthWash wrote:
At 8/19/2012 9:27:47 PM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
It was the first time I've told someone "I'm going to cum," while she kept going until the end.

How do you know it was not the other way around?

Warned her three times. Surprising a girl like that is not really appreciated.

You want to talk about it?

Wut?
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Primal Diet. Lifting. Reading. Psychedelics. Cold-Approach Pickup. Music.
Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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8/19/2012 10:15:55 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/19/2012 7:04:11 PM, bossyburrito wrote:
Blowhole jobs are better.

But of course! Blowjobs subsume blowhole jobs, which are of course the epitome of sexual nirvana.
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MouthWash
Posts: 2,607
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8/19/2012 10:29:50 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I'm just fucking with you, I've been feeding your posts to Cleverbot and reposting them.
"Well, that gives whole new meaning to my assassination. If I was going to die anyway, perhaps I should leave the Bolsheviks' descendants some Christmas cookies instead of breaking their dishes and vodka bottles in their sleep." -Tsar Nicholas II (YYW)
bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
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8/19/2012 11:30:34 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/19/2012 10:29:50 PM, MouthWash wrote:
I'm just fucking with you, I've been feeding your posts to Cleverbot and reposting them.

LOL LOL LOL
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush
Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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8/20/2012 12:46:27 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/19/2012 10:29:50 PM, MouthWash wrote:
I'm just fucking with you, I've been feeding your posts to Cleverbot and reposting them.

lmao, you are intrigued by those conversation bots. I found a fucking awesome conversation bot at the Carnegie Science Center in Pittsburgh, PA; you just talk to the bot naturally and it responds naturally. It was amazing.

Also-------------------------------------------------------------->
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Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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8/20/2012 12:48:18 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/19/2012 10:17:40 PM, MrBrooks wrote:
I second the motion that blow jobs are amazing.

The motion is seconded, it will now go to a vote. This vote requires a simple majority. All those in favor say, "Aye." All those in favor say, "Nay." The motion passes unanimously.
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1dustpelt
Posts: 1,970
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8/20/2012 9:32:53 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
What is that?
Wall of LOL
"Infanticide is justified as long as the infants are below two" ~ RoyalPaladin
"Promoting female superiority is the only way to establish equality." ~ RoyalPaladin
"Jury trials should be banned. They're nothing more than opportunities for racists to destroy lives." ~ RoyalPaladin after the Zimmerman Trial.
thett3
Posts: 14,378
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8/20/2012 10:05:37 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/20/2012 9:32:53 AM, 1dustpelt wrote:
What is that?

Lmao
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

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"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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8/20/2012 10:07:05 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
I wonder if it's true that since clitoris' have 2x the nerve endings that a penis does, if clitoral orgasms feel twice as pleasurable. Anyway, BJs do seem pretty hot. Not the aggressive ones though.
President of DDO
PARADIGM_L0ST
Posts: 6,958
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8/20/2012 10:13:09 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/20/2012 10:07:05 AM, Danielle wrote:
I wonder if it's true that since clitoris' have 2x the nerve endings that a penis does, if clitoral orgasms feel twice as pleasurable. Anyway, BJs do seem pretty hot. Not the aggressive ones though.:

A good BJ is an artform. Technique is everything, which I'm certain goes for cunnilingus as well.
"Have you ever considered suicide? If not, please do." -- Mouthwash (to Inferno)
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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8/20/2012 10:17:35 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/20/2012 10:13:09 AM, PARADIGM_L0ST wrote:
A good BJ is an artform. Technique is everything, which I'm certain goes for cunnilingus as well.

Every single girl I've been with likes it completely differently. Is the same true for BJs or are there standard right and wrongs?
President of DDO
PARADIGM_L0ST
Posts: 6,958
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8/20/2012 10:22:34 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/20/2012 10:17:35 AM, Danielle wrote:
At 8/20/2012 10:13:09 AM, PARADIGM_L0ST wrote:
A good BJ is an artform. Technique is everything, which I'm certain goes for cunnilingus as well.

Every single girl I've been with likes it completely differently.:

I know :(

You can send one to the moon and back with back-to-back earth-shattering, multiple orgasms using one technique, and have it look like amateur hour with another one.

Is the same true for BJs or are there standard right and wrongs?:

I'm sure every male has subtle nuances that work for them. Personally, using the mouth only just doesn't get the job (no pun intended) done for me. Got to use the hands. Pepper-cracker technique for the win!!!!
"Have you ever considered suicide? If not, please do." -- Mouthwash (to Inferno)
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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8/20/2012 11:16:22 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/20/2012 10:22:34 AM, PARADIGM_L0ST wrote:
At 8/20/2012 10:17:35 AM, Danielle wrote:
At 8/20/2012 10:13:09 AM, PARADIGM_L0ST wrote:
A good BJ is an artform. Technique is everything, which I'm certain goes for cunnilingus as well.

Every single girl I've been with likes it completely differently.:

I know :(

You can send one to the moon and back with back-to-back earth-shattering, multiple orgasms using one technique, and have it look like amateur hour with another one.

Is the same true for BJs or are there standard right and wrongs?:

I'm sure every male has subtle nuances that work for them. Personally, using the mouth only just doesn't get the job (no pun intended) done for me. Got to use the hands. Pepper-cracker technique for the win!!!!

This is a good opportunity to answer Danielle's question, as I prefer minimal hand use. I've rarely ever tried to adjust anyone's style mid-session, though. Part of that is because I enjoy variation and part of that is fear. Receiving a blowjob is like spotting a baby deer; it's surprising, beautiful, and you try your best not to startle it into leaving.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

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caveat
Posts: 2,137
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8/20/2012 12:10:29 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/20/2012 11:16:22 AM, Maikuru wrote:
At 8/20/2012 10:22:34 AM, PARADIGM_L0ST wrote:
At 8/20/2012 10:17:35 AM, Danielle wrote:
At 8/20/2012 10:13:09 AM, PARADIGM_L0ST wrote:
A good BJ is an artform. Technique is everything, which I'm certain goes for cunnilingus as well.

Every single girl I've been with likes it completely differently.:

I know :(

You can send one to the moon and back with back-to-back earth-shattering, multiple orgasms using one technique, and have it look like amateur hour with another one.

Is the same true for BJs or are there standard right and wrongs?:

I'm sure every male has subtle nuances that work for them. Personally, using the mouth only just doesn't get the job (no pun intended) done for me. Got to use the hands. Pepper-cracker technique for the win!!!!

This is a good opportunity to answer Danielle's question, as I prefer minimal hand use. I've rarely ever tried to adjust anyone's style mid-session, though. Part of that is because I enjoy variation and part of that is fear. Receiving a blowjob is like spotting a baby deer; it's surprising, beautiful, and you try your best not to startle it into leaving.

This analogy is accurate.
There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. " Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties.
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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8/20/2012 1:27:17 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
lol @ Maikuru. I was going to comment that I also know quite a few guys who dislike hands. Similarly, most girls like hands during oral too, but some don't... or some like it sometimes. Conclusion: It's very subjective.
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Cody_Franklin
Posts: 9,484
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8/20/2012 1:34:21 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/20/2012 1:27:17 PM, Danielle wrote:
lol @ Maikuru. I was going to comment that I also know quite a few guys who dislike hands. Similarly, most girls like hands during oral too, but some don't... or some like it sometimes. Conclusion: It's very subjective.

Not according to Normative Blowjob Theory.
R0b1Billion
Posts: 3,733
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8/20/2012 2:56:54 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
It's been so long since I've had sex I can't even contribute here...
Beliefs in a nutshell:
- The Ends never justify the Means.
- Objectivity is secondary to subjectivity.
- The War on Drugs is the worst policy in the U.S.
- Most people worship technology as a religion.
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tulle
Posts: 4,445
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8/20/2012 3:35:41 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/20/2012 2:56:54 PM, R0b1Billion wrote:
It's been so long since I've had sex I can't even contribute here...

*tiny violin*

@Maikuru I died! Lmfao
yang.
Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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8/20/2012 9:27:02 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/20/2012 10:07:05 AM, Danielle wrote:
I wonder if it's true that since clitoris' have 2x the nerve endings that a penis does, if clitoral orgasms feel twice as pleasurable. Anyway, BJs do seem pretty hot. Not the aggressive ones though.

Clitoral orgasms definitely last longer, and they seem to be more pleasurable from my perspective.

Storytime with Wallstreetatheist:

A summer college semester was my first time giving cunnilingus. It was the end of the term, and we had just taken our exams and packed our stuff up. We decided to stay a little while longer, so I plopped a mattress down on the floor, turned on Airplane, the movie, and then we started making out and cuddling. Then, I worked my way south of the border. I licked it from bottom to top; I just concentrated on making her feel good and doing what she asked. Meanwhile janitors are walking up and down the college dorm hall going into rooms to clean them. I put a desk in front of our door to prevent them from coming in. I kept eating her out, more pressure, more sucking and licking her clit, she's breathing heavier, then she cums, She starts SCREAMING like AHHHHH AHHHH AHHHH!! The loudest I've ever heard in my life.

Then, two hours later she asked me if it was loud, and I told her about people walking by. She said that, "In the moment I didn't care about anything else. I'm glad it happened." But, we rushed into things because I had only known her for three weeks:
friends for two weeks, then in three days hand holding -> sex and oral.

Man, I love college.
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Primal Diet. Lifting. Reading. Psychedelics. Cold-Approach Pickup. Music.
MrBrooks
Posts: 831
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8/20/2012 9:30:44 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/20/2012 9:27:02 PM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
At 8/20/2012 10:07:05 AM, Danielle wrote:
I wonder if it's true that since clitoris' have 2x the nerve endings that a penis does, if clitoral orgasms feel twice as pleasurable. Anyway, BJs do seem pretty hot. Not the aggressive ones though.

Clitoral orgasms definitely last longer, and they seem to be more pleasurable from my perspective.

Storytime with Wallstreetatheist:

A summer college semester was my first time giving cunnilingus. It was the end of the term, and we had just taken our exams and packed our stuff up. We decided to stay a little while longer, so I plopped a mattress down on the floor, turned on Airplane, the movie, and then we started making out and cuddling. Then, I worked my way south of the border. I licked it from bottom to top; I just concentrated on making her feel good and doing what she asked. Meanwhile janitors are walking up and down the college dorm hall going into rooms to clean them. I put a desk in front of our door to prevent them from coming in. I kept eating her out, more pressure, more sucking and licking her clit, she's breathing heavier, then she cums, She starts SCREAMING like AHHHHH AHHHH AHHHH!! The loudest I've ever heard in my life.

Then, two hours later she asked me if it was loud, and I told her about people walking by. She said that, "In the moment I didn't care about anything else. I'm glad it happened." But, we rushed into things because I had only known her for three weeks:
friends for two weeks, then in three days hand holding -> sex and oral.

Man, I love college.

How long does it usually take you to convince a girl to try scat? I find that it takes at least a month for me to convince a girl to let me turn her chest into a superbowl stadium.
Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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8/20/2012 9:31:34 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/20/2012 1:27:17 PM, Danielle wrote:
lol @ Maikuru. I was going to comment that I also know quite a few guys who dislike hands. Similarly, most girls like hands during oral too, but some don't... or some like it sometimes. Conclusion: It's very subjective.

Communication of what feels good is imperative. I like the use of variation and seeing that the girl is enjoying it as much as I am, then include a strong finish (which happened yesterday and exploded my mind in a brain-spray of awesomeness). I like BJs more than sex, is that the same for girls?
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Primal Diet. Lifting. Reading. Psychedelics. Cold-Approach Pickup. Music.