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R0b1Billion
Posts: 3,733
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9/3/2012 4:58:44 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Thoughts? Experiences? Opinions? I'm trying POF right now and I was wondering if anyone else has done it before.

My first comment is that it's REALLY hard to get a woman to reply. Any girl that has good looks gets flooded with messages from horny guys and it's hard to get anyone to notice you. From what I can tell, If I put a few hours into it a week, I can expect to find one girl to talk to that isn't a whale. I've been on about 3 weeks and sent out probably 75 messages, and gotten two replies and one girl that actually contacted me without me finding her. Otherwise, the place is crawling with heffers, whales I call them, which apparently can't figure out that a guy who runs and plays sports isn't going to be interested in a fat mess that can't see her toes.
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Koopin
Posts: 12,090
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9/3/2012 5:04:43 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I've heard that it's harder to date on dating sites. Due to the fact that 80% of some site members go online because they have a hard time getting a date in real life.
kfc
tulle
Posts: 4,445
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9/4/2012 12:13:57 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 9/3/2012 4:58:44 PM, R0b1Billion wrote:
Thoughts? Experiences? Opinions? I'm trying POF right now and I was wondering if anyone else has done it before.

My first comment is that it's REALLY hard to get a woman to reply. Any girl that has good looks gets flooded with messages from horny guys and it's hard to get anyone to notice you. From what I can tell, If I put a few hours into it a week, I can expect to find one girl to talk to that isn't a whale. I've been on about 3 weeks and sent out probably 75 messages, and gotten two replies and one girl that actually contacted me without me finding her. Otherwise, the place is crawling with heffers, whales I call them, which apparently can't figure out that a guy who runs and plays sports isn't going to be interested in a fat mess that can't see her toes.

lmao

To be honest, I prefer online dating to "real life" dating because it's kind of like shopping and I'm a very millitant shopper.

What kind of messages are you sending out? If a guy sent me a message just saying "hey" I wouldn't respond unless he was very attractive AND his profile was interesting. If it also sounds copy and pasted, or like he obviously didn't read my profile, I wouldn't respond. As a girl, we do get a ridiculous amount of messages and it's hard to sift through the garbage.
yang.
elysian85
Posts: 31
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9/4/2012 8:09:39 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 9/3/2012 4:58:44 PM, R0b1Billion wrote:
Thoughts? Experiences? Opinions? I'm trying POF right now and I was wondering if anyone else has done it before.

My first comment is that it's REALLY hard to get a woman to reply. Any girl that has good looks gets flooded with messages from horny guys and it's hard to get anyone to notice you. From what I can tell, If I put a few hours into it a week, I can expect to find one girl to talk to that isn't a whale. I've been on about 3 weeks and sent out probably 75 messages, and gotten two replies and one girl that actually contacted me without me finding her. Otherwise, the place is crawling with heffers, whales I call them, which apparently can't figure out that a guy who runs and plays sports isn't going to be interested in a fat mess that can't see her toes.

A friend of mine got me to try Match once because he was doing it.

Every - not a one or two, mind you - woman I went on a date with (10~11) was exciting until the actual date. People fudge their profiles unknowingly with who they ideally are or want to be rather than a direct representation of what their life or lifestyle (not to mention their personality) is in the real.

In addition, I tended to find that the best way to truly find out who these women really were was *always* by accident. Meaning that, I would recognize certain ones from their profile pictures who I had seen in the searches (and most of the time had never talked to them on Match) when I was out at my favorite haunts. Nine out of ten times, their picture was a few pounds ago (i.e. college-aged pictures) and they were nearly unanimous in being the exact opposite of their offered profile descriptions (e.g. "I'm confident, outgoing, spontaneous, and caring... etc.").

And the main feature that I always thought was bizarre (read: retarded) was nearly every profile of the better-looking ones always asserted "I'm pretty creeped out by this whole internet dating thing."

When I used to see that particular line coupled with the typical "30-year-old divorced female seeking 6'+, Income $100k+, and Wants kids," I'd always just be my a-hole self and send them messages that basically said:

"Ok, so you're relatively good-looking, have no ambition, want a man to pay for a few dates, and don't plan to put out unless there's a wedding ring on the table? Awesome! I've been looking for you my whole life! I'm going to the Drunken Redneck Tomato Wrestling contest at the Bottom next Friday - it'll be such a great way for me to show me how much I care if you'd go with me! Plus, if you enter (girls only), we can split the twelve pack of Busch Lite cans from the first prize afterwards at the mud-bog to celebrate! I'm so excited! If you're totally down, meet me at the Walmart at Tennessee and Capital Circle around 7:00 and we'll ride over with some Black and Mild's for the road. Can't wait!"

The scary thing was, one of them kind of... missed the point... and told me she'd love to, and that she just needed to drop her kids (with an 'S') off with her Mom. Had to check if that was okay I guess...

Unless you're just hell-bent on meeting a lot of bored (and consequentially boring women), I'd steer clear.

Like... so clearly away from it that you actually go meet women in ways that are healthy.
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Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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9/4/2012 8:13:17 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 9/3/2012 4:58:44 PM, R0b1Billion wrote:
Thoughts? Experiences? Opinions? I'm trying POF right now and I was wondering if anyone else has done it before.

My first comment is that it's REALLY hard to get a woman to reply. Any girl that has good looks gets flooded with messages from horny guys and it's hard to get anyone to notice you. From what I can tell, If I put a few hours into it a week, I can expect to find one girl to talk to that isn't a whale. I've been on about 3 weeks and sent out probably 75 messages, and gotten two replies and one girl that actually contacted me without me finding her. Otherwise, the place is crawling with heffers, whales I call them, which apparently can't figure out that a guy who runs and plays sports isn't going to be interested in a fat mess that can't see her toes.

Have a friend that dated 3 guys, 2 turned out to be drug dealers, 1 pulled a gun on her then said "he was joking" only later to marry her, divorce her and now there is a restraining order. Of course, that was "hot or not," not exactly a "dating" website.
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BlackVoid
Posts: 9,170
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9/4/2012 9:42:15 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Beware of love scammers. Its a huge industry. Essentially, a large number of attractive people on dating sites are really fakes, whose intention is to butter up to people and have them send goods/money to the scammer for a profit.

I know this because it happened to my mom a couple years ago. She met a guy who was masquerading as a military solider on leave from Afghanistan. They got along pretty well, and he eventually asked her to send him a care package which included a cell phone for him to use when he went back on duty. 2 days later, she heard about love scammers on the radio and asked me to look into it. We eventually found out that he was currently located in Ghana (not New York as he originally claimed) and that the name and picture he was using was of a soldier who was killed in 2007.

That prompted me to look the issue up online, and found out that love scamming is very prevalent and profitable. It works on women because they're compassionate, and on men because there aren't many attractive people on dating sites, making them more likely to do things for the ones they do encounter.

So I just suggest being careful with who you get with on the site. Don't send anything unless you've met the person first.
Ren
Posts: 7,102
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9/5/2012 9:18:06 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
This is so nebulous to me... hello, people, it's two thousand fvcking twelve. Stop acting like it's 1995, for the love.

Just cam with them or something and check them out before you end up having to spend money on them.
yoda878
Posts: 902
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9/5/2012 11:41:12 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
IDK I tried eharmony when me and my husband split, but that was very short lived. I don't think I would ever meet someone I met online. I think I'm a little freaked out by that. I think its better to meet them in the grocery store just strike up a conversation there. You can also take mental note of what they are buying too but don't be a creep about it. Or you can always strike up conversation with girls in the gym.
you like sports try to find some men/women soft ball teams and join, I've done this and its fun!
Also Not a club b/c no one really stays with anyone they meet in a club those are mostly always mistakes too.
Me
famer
Posts: 679
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9/6/2012 7:24:56 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 9/3/2012 4:58:44 PM, R0b1Billion wrote:
Thoughts? Experiences? Opinions? I'm trying POF right now and I was wondering if anyone else has done it before.

My first comment is that it's REALLY hard to get a woman to reply. Any girl that has good looks gets flooded with messages from horny guys and it's hard to get anyone to notice you. From what I can tell, If I put a few hours into it a week, I can expect to find one girl to talk to that isn't a whale. I've been on about 3 weeks and sent out probably 75 messages, and gotten two replies and one girl that actually contacted me without me finding her. Otherwise, the place is crawling with heffers, whales I call them, which apparently can't figure out that a guy who runs and plays sports isn't going to be interested in a fat mess that can't see her toes.

From what you've just said, I guess women are more popular on dating sites and most guys don't get much out of it because they've got too much competition.
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Ren
Posts: 7,102
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9/6/2012 8:54:30 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 9/5/2012 11:41:12 AM, yoda878 wrote:
IDK I tried eharmony when me and my husband split, but that was very short lived. I don't think I would ever meet someone I met online. I think I'm a little freaked out by that. I think its better to meet them in the grocery store just strike up a conversation there. You can also take mental note of what they are buying too but don't be a creep about it. Or you can always strike up conversation with girls in the gym.
you like sports try to find some men/women soft ball teams and join, I've done this and its fun!
Also Not a club b/c no one really stays with anyone they meet in a club those are mostly always mistakes too.

I hear a lot of people say that they're creeped out about meeting someone they met online, but I just don't see why. This isn't to say that I'm in the habit of doing such things (I've never registered for a dating site), but I've certainly met in person people I met initially on the internet. I wouldn't be creeped out, I'd be excited. But, then again, i'm male, and I can defend myself. Moreover, I'm careful, and I would have spoken to them on the phone and gotten them on cam before meeting them. C'mon, people. If you both have iPhones, you can Facetime. But, doesn't everyone have Skype? Why wouldn't you at least Skype with someone before you met them? You can't see weird tics or real appearances in the things they write and the specious pictures they've sent. I mean, shiit, camming was hot 12 years ago. Give me a break.

@ Rob:

Several websites on the internet have their own little charm and definitely attract people just like you. I'd say the majority of trysts from the internet result from interest-borne sites like this one. You don't think the PMs exchanged between members here are rife with naughtiness? Oh, I disagree -- I'm sure sites like this result in full blown relationships all the time. It's probably like interdating within friend circles.

Besides, you have a greater likelihood of knowing at least a little truth about that person's personality and perspectives. It's rather ideal.

On the other hand, dating sites seem to be mostly for people that want (need) to get laid, but there are also a good number of shy people in there. I'd say that proportion is something like 80 - 20 desperate to shy. Of that 20 percent, I'd say that something like 15 percent are 7 or better, and like 5 percent are bombshells.

That leftover 5 percent are probably weirded out by the whole thing, and are like how Maikuru described getting a blowjob. Something about spotting a baby fawn while your piissing in the forest during a stop on a long road trip. You can't look them in the eyes or whatever.

The point is that unless you're doing something that gives you regular exposure to females (bar hopping, clubbing, exercising at the gym, taking a class, joining an interest group, getting involved in politics, rush a fraternity, joining a gang, taking long walks on bike paths, hanging out at the local park, whatever), you're not going to meet any females.

This goes the same for the internet, and everything speaks for itself. If you see a lot of dudes and fat chicks, then you know what it's about.

In any case, I suggest you take up something social. It is so much better. Even if you're open to dating, just going out and flirting and whatever is fun in and of itself. So much fun.

Eventually, you'll meet someone, and it will really take no longer than it would online. But, instead of typing things to each other, you could make out or something (as long as no one has any blisters or anything going on, lol). At the very least, you'll touch her body and she'll touch yours, and that itself will be exciting if it's been a while. You just have to keep your composure.

If you're the shy type, get a wingman.

But, seriously, I've met girls everywhere. If you start playing chess regularly at the local coffee shop, you're bound to meet someone, and make some friends in the meanwhile.
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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9/6/2012 12:15:07 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I agree with Ren 100 percent.

I registered for a dating website once (OK Cupid) pretty much out of spite. I was seeing someone that I wasn't happy with, and because she was being really shady, I decided to retaliate by finding someone to engage with even just to keep me occupied - not necessarily to meet IRL. I concede that it was a pretty immature thing to do. I was on it for about a week, and only proactively contacted 1 person. We wound up meeting (for cupcakes!) - but only after we texted, talked on the phone, became FB friends, and I felt confident that she was a real person. Everyone else I either ignored or let down gently depending on the content of their message and profiles. Most were unattractive, but given the pool of lesbians - let alone single ones - I wasn't really surprised.

The girl I met was really awesome (pretty, funny, smart). We still talk every once in awhile. We hit it off, but neither of us were/are in a place to make anything happen, so that's that. But the reason I was open to this idea in the first place is that I know SO many people who have had success with online dating. My friend met his wife on e-harmony, and let me tell you, they are legitimately a gross picture-perfect couple like the one you see on the match.com first date commercials that seem staged. He works for IBM, she's a pre-school teacher, they both have blonde hair and blue eyes and white bread last names... lol.

I also know a ton of lesbian couples who met online, while gay male "dating" websites are really just sites for sex hook-ups. As far as everyone else, my BFF met a few guys and some dates were awesome, others were not. That's just how it goes I guess. While you might not meet spectacular people right away on those sites, clearly you're not meeting them IRL either... so what do you have to lose?

The benefit of dating online is that you can kind of shop around for what you want. If a guy hits on me at a bar, I have no choice but to respond. That isn't the case online. I can choose who to get in contact with and set the parameters for that interaction. I can be up front about what I'm looking for and where I'm at in life (eg. career, school, kids, etc.) and see/inquire about the other person as well. Sure there are a handful of crazies and people are misleading in their first impressions... but doesn't that apply to meeting people in real life too? With online dating, you have access to a database of people rather than just going out and hoping that you meet someone. I contend that the odds of you meeting someone you're attracted to and have a chance with randomly IRL are probably lower than they are with online dating.

Also, while there's a risk to getting to know someone online, it can also be a really great and rewarding thing. It's no secret that Vi and I met on DDO. That obviously wasn't our intention or what we came here to do; it wasn't even my intention to date her when we started talking. But you tend to meet like-minded people online, or those with similar interests (eg. surfers can meet in a surfing forum...). Vi and I both have intellectual interests and similar passions. We were able to get to know one another for months before we met IRL. I've met other friends online too.

In 2012 online dating isn't just for those who can't get a date on their own. These days we practically live out our entire social lives through online media. Dating isn't the exception. Now, you just have to decide if PAYING to meet someone online (like match.com or e-harmony) is worth your while. My friend Jess (who had great experiences meeting women online, and had fun going on dates) said that she specifically chose match.com because she wanted to meet someone who seemed legitimate enough to pay for an account, lol.

I'll admit that I've considered going on a few innocent dates with guys from match.com (though I've never joined) just to experiment and see how I felt about it with no pressure or commitment. I chose not to because I didn't think it would be fair to, well, potentially lead someone on that I have little to no interest in. But on the other hand the benefit of online dating is that there is not a whole lot at stake. You meet, you engage, you hang out, you see if it works. That's it. There might be unscrupolous people with bad intentions, but again that could easily happen with people you meet IRL. It really is a crap shoot, but the way I see it, the odds are in your favor and you have nothing to lose.
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R0b1Billion
Posts: 3,733
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9/7/2012 12:36:10 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
I've tried the bar thing. Enough. I go out and I look around, and I see a lot of gorgeous women. But at the bar you never get the full package; there is always something wrong with bar-chicks.

I've gotten responses from some women on the dating site now and it's interesting... I'm starting to realize that all these conversations I'm opening with these chicks I'm also going to have to end. I'm putting myself out there by messaging out, too. My daughter's mother's coworker's cousin is apparently someone I messaged and it worked itself back to me in less than a week of using it.
Beliefs in a nutshell:
- The Ends never justify the Means.
- Objectivity is secondary to subjectivity.
- The War on Drugs is the worst policy in the U.S.
- Most people worship technology as a religion.
- Computers will never become sentient.