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Personal anecdote

Smithereens
Posts: 5,512
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10/6/2012 7:23:06 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Just slap your personal stories here and I'll try not to laugh at you.

Ill post mine tomorrow, I need sleep.
ling chi everyone.
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Smithereens
Posts: 5,512
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10/7/2012 12:57:26 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
My favorite anecdote from this month was in a class with my science teacher, he is about 30 years old. Now we all know what stereotypical schools are like with their varied arrays of teachers, but I'm telling you, our school has got the one teacher in the world who happens to be: A troll. Mr. Heaton will go out of his way to make fun of you in a nice sort of way, that's why everyone likes him. Anyways, the guy is a genius when it comes to punishment. He had repeatedly asked our class to quieten down and since no one takes him seriously, we had hit 70 decibels 5 seconds later. So he goes up to one of students in the class and borrows her ipod, now all the students are giving him curious looks. He then goes up the front and connects it to the interactive whiteboard, now these looks become suspicious. The next minute, horrible blasphemous songs by justin B are playing on the whiteboard's speakers at really loud volume and the entire class has been brought to its knees.

I have been scarred for life.
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yuiru
Posts: 13
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10/13/2012 7:00:52 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Once I was walking out side after staring at the sun and taking some pills, I saw god as a reptilian avian like creature. He told me, "Woe unto the one who spites bacterial mats, take my shoe, throw it at the clown." Immediately after that I found a shoe in front of me that said, "God" so I threw it at a clown named Jekins. After this there was a huge earthquake and I saw Tommy Lee Jones' face over the horizon.

This really happened to me! Help!!!
"We do not choose our sexiness, we only choose if we accept our sexiness."
Veridas
Posts: 733
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10/13/2012 10:02:33 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
When I was in school, we had a Chemistry teacher that was straight out of the 1800s. Tailored tweed suits in mustard and brown with criss-crossing pinstripe patterns, a well-kept beard and mustache, he even wore a monacle. The guy was about fifty years old, 5'8 and was pretty flabby, he was always red-faced and out of breath, and he used words like "splendid" and "dastardly" without any hint of irony. This guy's name was Mister Wahr.

This guy, from day one, preached the importance of safety goggles. Every single morning he'd give us a mini-lecture about their use. If anyone spilled anything, he said, walk to one of the many sinks around the edge of the classroom, clean it, and get someone to come get him. These sinks, you have to understand, were all built into a long wooden surface that ran the perimiter of the classroom. So if you lay down on your front on this wooden surface, you could dip your head inside the sink and the tap would pour water onto the back of your head.

Anyway, our class had a prankster. His name was Nikki Hyland (Or Highland. I forget. The guy was an a*sehole, I ain't gonna waste time spelling his name right) and one day we were experimenting with weak but productive acids.

Nikki, standing by one of thee sinks, loudly exclaims. "Aaaagh! I got acid in my eye.

Mister Wahr went from "Spiffing whatwhat" into a pro wrestler in 0.35 seconds. CHokeslamming Nikki onto this surface and pouring the water from the tap around his eye. Nikki was kicking and screaming like he'd been stabbed.

Let me reiterate.

A guy who looked like he could collapse of a heart attack at any moment, grabbed a student a quarter of his age by the goddamn throat, lifted him into the air and smacked him down so hard onto a solid wood surface that everyone stopped and stared like someone had just dropped a bookshelf in a library. The teacher, with one hand, then held down a student that should have easily been able to overpower him and effectively waterboarded the poor b*stard for a good half-minute before he would stop, pouring ice-cold water over his face and into his eyes to wash out acid that wasn't there.

Nikki Hyland didn't dick around in Mister Wahr's class anymore.
What fresh dickery is the internet up to today?
CrazyPerson
Posts: 1,114
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10/13/2012 10:44:06 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I once masturbated to the image of a fat girl. I later bleached my thoughts.
But we try to pretend, you see, that the external world exists altogether independently of us.
- - - Watts
The moralist is the person who tells people that they ought to be unselfish, when they still feel like egos, and his efforts are always and invariably futile.
- - - Watts