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Saboteurs of DDO, OMG needs your help.

OMGJustinBieber
Posts: 3,484
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12/25/2012 12:34:48 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
I am with my great-uncle for a week in Israel. Fun, right? Wrong, my great-uncle is literally a controlling psychopath. He does not seem to process the meaning of "no" and with a napoleonic fervor insists on controlling every aspect of my time here. I can't detail everything I've come across in the first 24 hours of being around him, but I think the best I can do is subtlely find ways to assert my independence or cause annoyance for him in the same way that he's been wearing me down say day one.

After 24 hours my go-to plan right now is to get drunk as much as possible, but I need more. PLEASE GIVE SUGGESTIONS, ONES THAT ARE INDIRECT BUT EFFECTIVE.

To gain a better idea of this individual consider an older, but still rather in shape unmarried Israeli man in his early 60s. This man takes considerable pleasure at Assad's murder of his own civilians in Syria ("If they want to be martyrs, I say we help them!") Non-Jews are not to be trusted, and Jews are objects to directed towards Judaism. I'm usually very patient with people and I'm someone who IRL is well liked, but I know a controlling psychopath when I see one.
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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12/25/2012 12:37:00 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
So... let me get this straight... you want suggestions for how to be a passive aggressive prick?

1. Address him as "Your Majesty"
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
YYW
Posts: 36,263
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12/25/2012 12:43:50 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/25/2012 12:34:48 AM, OMGJustinBieber wrote:
I am with my great-uncle for a week in Israel. Fun, right? Wrong, my great-uncle is literally a controlling psychopath. He does not seem to process the meaning of "no" and with a napoleonic fervor insists on controlling every aspect of my time here. I can't detail everything I've come across in the first 24 hours of being around him, but I think the best I can do is subtlely find ways to assert my independence or cause annoyance for him in the same way that he's been wearing me down say day one.

After 24 hours my go-to plan right now is to get drunk as much as possible, but I need more. PLEASE GIVE SUGGESTIONS, ONES THAT ARE INDIRECT BUT EFFECTIVE.

Drugs. I mean, nothing dangerous like meth but pot is a good place to start.

To gain a better idea of this individual consider an older, but still rather in shape unmarried Israeli man in his early 60s. This man takes considerable pleasure at Assad's murder of his own civilians in Syria ("If they want to be martyrs, I say we help them!") Non-Jews are not to be trusted, and Jews are objects to directed towards Judaism. I'm usually very patient with people and I'm someone who IRL is well liked, but I know a controlling psychopath when I see one.

Why... did... you visit him?
Tsar of DDO
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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12/25/2012 12:46:01 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/25/2012 12:43:50 AM, YYW wrote:
At 12/25/2012 12:34:48 AM, OMGJustinBieber wrote:
I am with my great-uncle for a week in Israel. Fun, right? Wrong, my great-uncle is literally a controlling psychopath. He does not seem to process the meaning of "no" and with a napoleonic fervor insists on controlling every aspect of my time here. I can't detail everything I've come across in the first 24 hours of being around him, but I think the best I can do is subtlely find ways to assert my independence or cause annoyance for him in the same way that he's been wearing me down say day one.

After 24 hours my go-to plan right now is to get drunk as much as possible, but I need more. PLEASE GIVE SUGGESTIONS, ONES THAT ARE INDIRECT BUT EFFECTIVE.

Drugs. I mean, nothing dangerous like meth but pot is a good place to start.

To gain a better idea of this individual consider an older, but still rather in shape unmarried Israeli man in his early 60s. This man takes considerable pleasure at Assad's murder of his own civilians in Syria ("If they want to be martyrs, I say we help them!") Non-Jews are not to be trusted, and Jews are objects to directed towards Judaism. I'm usually very patient with people and I'm someone who IRL is well liked, but I know a controlling psychopath when I see one.

Why... did... you visit him?

lol I've been trying to figure this out myself....

Being drunk pretty much constantly sounds like a good plan.

Also, what would embarrass him in public? Do that.... Like a lot.
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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12/25/2012 12:51:05 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Right, nothing convinces and over-controlling person to be less controlling than being drunk all the time.
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
RationalMadman
Posts: 354
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12/25/2012 12:55:21 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Rules to deal with such peoplele:

1) Follow their rules always
2) If you break rule one always refer to rule 3
3) Appear to follow their rules always
4) If you fail at rule 3 refer to rule 5
5) Kill yourself
6) If you fail at rule 5 refer to rule 7
7) Apologise and refer to rule 8
8) Refer to rule 1
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

We didn't fight our way to the top of the food chain to be f***ng vegetarians.
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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12/25/2012 1:02:45 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Okay, first, don't stay with him. Stay at a hotel or something and simply visit him during the day. That takes away his argument (which I assume he uses) "my house, my rules" as you can always leave if needed and go do something else. This asserts independence which he can either recognize, or not see you. That way, you don't have to be a passive aggressive child that is only reinforcing his belief that he needs to control you.
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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12/25/2012 1:06:10 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
I would say try to find ways to insist on alone time (that way, if he wants to control your time together, it won't be so bad.). From the way you've described him, I doubt he'd accept it that easily, but maybe try something like "I'm going to X tomorrow afternoon." If he tells you no, say "No, I am." I would just assert your independence in a very matter-of-fact way. I feel like as an adult, another adult would have to respect that. Aside from criticizing your choice, what would he really do to stop you? Though awkward at first, that has been the way I've had to deal with similar family members.
President of DDO
bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
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12/25/2012 1:08:38 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Do you think you're in physical danger?
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

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Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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12/25/2012 2:05:03 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Getting drunk all the time seems like a really bad idea. Subtlety, evasion, and either feigned agreement or unapologetic disagreement (depending on whether or not you're just trying to ride this out) are your friends.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
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OMGJustinBieber
Posts: 3,484
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12/25/2012 2:18:18 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/25/2012 12:37:00 AM, Oryus wrote:
So... let me get this straight... you want suggestions for how to be a passive aggressive prick?

1. Address him as "Your Majesty"

Passive-aggressive is working well so far. The day has started off well.
OMGJustinBieber
Posts: 3,484
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12/25/2012 2:20:16 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/25/2012 1:02:45 AM, Ore_Ele wrote:
Okay, first, don't stay with him. Stay at a hotel or something and simply visit him during the day. That takes away his argument (which I assume he uses) "my house, my rules" as you can always leave if needed and go do something else. This asserts independence which he can either recognize, or not see you. That way, you don't have to be a passive aggressive child that is only reinforcing his belief that he needs to control you.

I don't really have a choice here, I don't have transportation and I have basically no one else to stay with. It would really send shockwaves through the family if I packed up and left, and he's basically been waiting and planning the entire trip. The next few days I'm basically taking a car ride with him across the country, and in all fairness he is an incredible tour guide.
OMGJustinBieber
Posts: 3,484
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12/25/2012 2:23:36 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/25/2012 1:06:10 AM, Danielle wrote:
I would say try to find ways to insist on alone time (that way, if he wants to control your time together, it won't be so bad.). From the way you've described him, I doubt he'd accept it that easily, but maybe try something like "I'm going to X tomorrow afternoon." If he tells you no, say "No, I am." I would just assert your independence in a very matter-of-fact way. I feel like as an adult, another adult would have to respect that. Aside from criticizing your choice, what would he really do to stop you? Though awkward at first, that has been the way I've had to deal with similar family members.

I would if I could, but the next few days is basically a road trip so my options are limited. I'll probably be seeing friends later this week and I'm already preparing for the ensuing conflict. I do need to put my foot down though, I almost did it through refusing to order anything at a cafe but at the last minute I caved in and ordered soup.
OMGJustinBieber
Posts: 3,484
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12/25/2012 2:30:08 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/25/2012 2:05:03 AM, Maikuru wrote:
Getting drunk all the time seems like a really bad idea. Subtlety, evasion, and either feigned agreement or unapologetic disagreement (depending on whether or not you're just trying to ride this out) are your friends.

I certainly couldn't be drunk all the time, but I also can't see myself getting through the week without some relief. At this point I'm trying to work off a confidence and hip, youthful attitude - it insists that I see him as the hip great-uncle - and I'm thinking this is exploitable.
Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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12/25/2012 2:31:22 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
1. Wait until he goes asleep, then sneak out.
2. Tell him you are going to legitimate place X, but instead go to illegitimate place Y.
3. Drug him with scopolamine, so that he allows you to do whatever you want.
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Primal Diet. Lifting. Reading. Psychedelics. Cold-Approach Pickup. Music.
OMGJustinBieber
Posts: 3,484
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12/25/2012 2:48:31 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/25/2012 2:31:22 AM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
1. Wait until he goes asleep, then sneak out.
2. Tell him you are going to legitimate place X, but instead go to illegitimate place Y.
3. Drug him with scopolamine, so that he allows you to do whatever you want.

I'm actually not at his place, I'm at an apartment of extended family because his apartment is getting remodeled. I'm free to leave anytime, but I don't have a car and very few contacts here.
OMGJustinBieber
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12/25/2012 2:50:27 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/25/2012 12:51:05 AM, Ore_Ele wrote:
Right, nothing convinces and over-controlling person to be less controlling than being drunk all the time.

He's honestly not the kind of person to be convinced to be less controlling. It's purely a matter of how I deal with, for lack of a better description, a controlling psychopath.
MouthWash
Posts: 2,607
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12/25/2012 10:13:19 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/25/2012 9:47:09 AM, Koopin wrote:
Bring home pork dinner. :D
"Well, that gives whole new meaning to my assassination. If I was going to die anyway, perhaps I should leave the Bolsheviks' descendants some Christmas cookies instead of breaking their dishes and vodka bottles in their sleep." -Tsar Nicholas II (YYW)
sadolite
Posts: 8,836
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12/25/2012 10:38:45 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
My question is the same as someone else said. Why did you go there in the first place? And secondly is he paying your bills while you are there? If not, friken leave. If so, to friken bad. People with no money don't make the rules.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%
Lordknukle
Posts: 12,788
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12/25/2012 10:41:10 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Hack his computer and get it to play Ahmadinejad saying "We will wipe Israel off the face of the map" as an infinite loop.
"Easy is the descent to Avernus, for the door to the Underworld lies upon both day and night. But to retrace your steps and return to the breezes above- that's the task, that's the toil."
MouthWash
Posts: 2,607
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12/25/2012 11:20:04 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/25/2012 10:41:10 AM, Lordknukle wrote:
Hack his computer and get it to play Ahmadinejad saying "We will wipe Israel off the face of the map" as an infinite loop.

No one cares.
"Well, that gives whole new meaning to my assassination. If I was going to die anyway, perhaps I should leave the Bolsheviks' descendants some Christmas cookies instead of breaking their dishes and vodka bottles in their sleep." -Tsar Nicholas II (YYW)
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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12/25/2012 2:57:19 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/25/2012 2:18:18 AM, OMGJustinBieber wrote:
At 12/25/2012 12:37:00 AM, Oryus wrote:
So... let me get this straight... you want suggestions for how to be a passive aggressive prick?

1. Address him as "Your Majesty"

Passive-aggressive is working well so far. The day has started off well.

lol Good. Some people really are just self-centered, unreasonable a$$holes and the only way to keep sane around them is to be passive aggressive and have funny stories about it to tell other people later.

Pranks are always fun too....
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
Lordknukle
Posts: 12,788
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12/25/2012 3:33:12 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/25/2012 11:20:04 AM, MouthWash wrote:
At 12/25/2012 10:41:10 AM, Lordknukle wrote:
Hack his computer and get it to play Ahmadinejad saying "We will wipe Israel off the face of the map" as an infinite loop.

No one cares.

That's... cute? I'm not even sure what your purpose was here. Are you still mad about me pointing out that you have absolutely no life prospects and that since you aren't even getting a high school diploma, your opinion is jack-sh!t? Oh well.
"Easy is the descent to Avernus, for the door to the Underworld lies upon both day and night. But to retrace your steps and return to the breezes above- that's the task, that's the toil."
MouthWash
Posts: 2,607
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12/25/2012 3:47:46 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/25/2012 3:33:12 PM, Lordknukle wrote:
At 12/25/2012 11:20:04 AM, MouthWash wrote:
At 12/25/2012 10:41:10 AM, Lordknukle wrote:
Hack his computer and get it to play Ahmadinejad saying "We will wipe Israel off the face of the map" as an infinite loop.

No one cares.

That's... cute? I'm not even sure what your purpose was here. Are you still mad about me pointing out that you have absolutely no life prospects and that since you aren't even getting a high school diploma, your opinion is jack-sh!t? Oh well.

When did you do that?
"Well, that gives whole new meaning to my assassination. If I was going to die anyway, perhaps I should leave the Bolsheviks' descendants some Christmas cookies instead of breaking their dishes and vodka bottles in their sleep." -Tsar Nicholas II (YYW)
Lordknukle
Posts: 12,788
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12/25/2012 3:48:58 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/25/2012 3:47:46 PM, MouthWash wrote:
At 12/25/2012 3:33:12 PM, Lordknukle wrote:
At 12/25/2012 11:20:04 AM, MouthWash wrote:
At 12/25/2012 10:41:10 AM, Lordknukle wrote:
Hack his computer and get it to play Ahmadinejad saying "We will wipe Israel off the face of the map" as an infinite loop.

No one cares.

That's... cute? I'm not even sure what your purpose was here. Are you still mad about me pointing out that you have absolutely no life prospects and that since you aren't even getting a high school diploma, your opinion is jack-sh!t? Oh well.

When did you do that?

Failing memory, now? In the Shakespeare thread, I recall.
"Easy is the descent to Avernus, for the door to the Underworld lies upon both day and night. But to retrace your steps and return to the breezes above- that's the task, that's the toil."
MouthWash
Posts: 2,607
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12/25/2012 3:51:21 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/25/2012 3:48:58 PM, Lordknukle wrote:
At 12/25/2012 3:47:46 PM, MouthWash wrote:
At 12/25/2012 3:33:12 PM, Lordknukle wrote:
At 12/25/2012 11:20:04 AM, MouthWash wrote:
At 12/25/2012 10:41:10 AM, Lordknukle wrote:
Hack his computer and get it to play Ahmadinejad saying "We will wipe Israel off the face of the map" as an infinite loop.

No one cares.

That's... cute? I'm not even sure what your purpose was here. Are you still mad about me pointing out that you have absolutely no life prospects and that since you aren't even getting a high school diploma, your opinion is jack-sh!t? Oh well.

When did you do that?

Failing memory, now? In the Shakespeare thread, I recall.

Ah. Well, my response is "If it's the same society that holds Shakespeare to be a genius, then I don't care for its opinion either."
"Well, that gives whole new meaning to my assassination. If I was going to die anyway, perhaps I should leave the Bolsheviks' descendants some Christmas cookies instead of breaking their dishes and vodka bottles in their sleep." -Tsar Nicholas II (YYW)
Lordknukle
Posts: 12,788
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12/25/2012 3:58:12 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/25/2012 3:51:21 PM, MouthWash wrote:
At 12/25/2012 3:48:58 PM, Lordknukle wrote:
At 12/25/2012 3:47:46 PM, MouthWash wrote:
At 12/25/2012 3:33:12 PM, Lordknukle wrote:
At 12/25/2012 11:20:04 AM, MouthWash wrote:
At 12/25/2012 10:41:10 AM, Lordknukle wrote:
Hack his computer and get it to play Ahmadinejad saying "We will wipe Israel off the face of the map" as an infinite loop.

No one cares.

That's... cute? I'm not even sure what your purpose was here. Are you still mad about me pointing out that you have absolutely no life prospects and that since you aren't even getting a high school diploma, your opinion is jack-sh!t? Oh well.

When did you do that?

Failing memory, now? In the Shakespeare thread, I recall.

Ah. Well, my response is "If it's the same society that holds Shakespeare to be a genius, then I don't care for its opinion either."

How typical. Society doesn't care about me? Then I don't care about society.
"Easy is the descent to Avernus, for the door to the Underworld lies upon both day and night. But to retrace your steps and return to the breezes above- that's the task, that's the toil."
lannan13
Posts: 23,022
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12/25/2012 3:58:43 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
You go in public and say I'm a Nazi
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