Total Posts:101|Showing Posts:1-30|Last Page
Jump to topic:

What are your thoughts on cheating?

tulle
Posts: 4,445
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 10:15:47 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
When it comes to relationships, the general consensus tends to be that if someone has cheated, the relationship is over.

What are your thoughts. Are there exceptions? Would you forgive someone for cheating? What would it take?
yang.
Mirza
Posts: 16,992
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 10:20:00 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
I think married couples who have a stable and happy relationship in general should forgive cheating -- if they can work toward improving things. As for girlfriend/boyfriend matters, never!
drafterman
Posts: 18,870
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 10:38:49 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/11/2013 10:20:00 AM, Mirza wrote:
I think married couples who have a stable and happy relationship in general should forgive cheating -- if they can work toward improving things. As for girlfriend/boyfriend matters, never!

If they have a stable and happy relationship in general, why is one of them cheating?
Kinesis
Posts: 3,667
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 10:52:18 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/11/2013 10:38:49 AM, drafterman wrote:
At 1/11/2013 10:20:00 AM, Mirza wrote:
I think married couples who have a stable and happy relationship in general should forgive cheating -- if they can work toward improving things. As for girlfriend/boyfriend matters, never!

If they have a stable and happy relationship in general, why is one of them cheating?

Men - spread genes around, stay in relationship and have child with partner too. Best of both worlds.

Women - cheat to acquire superior genes, make loving partner raise unrelated child. Cuckoos do it better.

Of course, neither works particularly well because humans are very sensitive to deception - surely not an evolutionary cooincidence.
johnnyboy54
Posts: 6,362
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 10:53:28 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
How I would take it would depend on the girl I am with. If I really cared and loved her, then obviously it would hurt more if the relationship was much less serious.

The only way I could see the relationship surviving was if I was married to this person. And even then, all trust I would have in her would be lost.
I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.
Mirza
Posts: 16,992
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 10:53:43 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/11/2013 10:38:49 AM, drafterman wrote:
At 1/11/2013 10:20:00 AM, Mirza wrote:
I think married couples who have a stable and happy relationship in general should forgive cheating -- if they can work toward improving things. As for girlfriend/boyfriend matters, never!

If they have a stable and happy relationship in general, why is one of them cheating?
Temptation, often due to someone from work. This is quite normal. Cheating doesn't mean you are not in love with your partner or don't feel very good about your relationship.
johnnyboy54
Posts: 6,362
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 10:54:57 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/11/2013 10:53:43 AM, Mirza wrote:
At 1/11/2013 10:38:49 AM, drafterman wrote:
At 1/11/2013 10:20:00 AM, Mirza wrote:
I think married couples who have a stable and happy relationship in general should forgive cheating -- if they can work toward improving things. As for girlfriend/boyfriend matters, never!

If they have a stable and happy relationship in general, why is one of them cheating?
Temptation, often due to someone from work. This is quite normal. Cheating doesn't mean you are not in love with your partner or don't feel very good about your relationship.

Yeah but one would have to wonder about the strength of that relationship if your willing to throw it away for a fling.
I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.
Mirza
Posts: 16,992
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 10:56:55 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/11/2013 10:54:57 AM, johnnyboy54 wrote:
Yeah but one would have to wonder about the strength of that relationship if your willing to throw it away for a fling.
Nope, not necessarily. Sure some faults in the relationship could strengthen temptation to cheat, but that doesn't mean the relationship isn't mutually good.
Kinesis
Posts: 3,667
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 10:57:41 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/11/2013 10:54:57 AM, johnnyboy54 wrote:
Yeah but one would have to wonder about the strength of that relationship if your willing to throw it away for a fling.

More relationships would survive if there weren't so much social pressure to conform to the nuclear family model. Open relationships would prevent the need for cheating in some cases.
Mirza
Posts: 16,992
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 10:58:24 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
I'm holding the thought that fornication might undermine whatever consequences sex might come with, and this way make cheating seem more acceptable than it is. I guess we'll find out.
johnnyboy54
Posts: 6,362
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 11:00:28 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/11/2013 10:57:41 AM, Kinesis wrote:
At 1/11/2013 10:54:57 AM, johnnyboy54 wrote:
Yeah but one would have to wonder about the strength of that relationship if your willing to throw it away for a fling.

More relationships would survive if there weren't so much social pressure to conform to the nuclear family model. Open relationships would prevent the need for cheating in some cases.

Maybe. I'm no relationship expert, but from my experience most people wouldn't want open relationships. I know I wouldn't.
I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.
Mirza
Posts: 16,992
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 11:02:52 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/11/2013 10:58:24 AM, Mirza wrote:
I'm holding the thought that fornication might undermine whatever consequences sex might come with, and this way make cheating seem more acceptable than it is. I guess we'll find out.
By the way -- the negative effects of fornication are well-documented, and they're severe. Long-term damage to relationships is thought to be noticeably affected by fornication. Whether cheating in particular is among the consequences is still not quite clear.
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,448
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 11:02:53 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Cheating is, on balance, an unforgiveable offense, period. If you actually cared for someone, and had respect for them, you wouldnt cheat, period.

I will never, EVER, cheat, idgaf how attractive a female is, and how awesome she is, it would just be entirely hurtful and i couldnt do that to someone I love, or even remotely care for.

I find cheaters disgusting people and I dont associate with them. Plain and simple
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
drafterman
Posts: 18,870
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 11:23:59 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/11/2013 10:52:18 AM, Kinesis wrote:
At 1/11/2013 10:38:49 AM, drafterman wrote:
At 1/11/2013 10:20:00 AM, Mirza wrote:
I think married couples who have a stable and happy relationship in general should forgive cheating -- if they can work toward improving things. As for girlfriend/boyfriend matters, never!

If they have a stable and happy relationship in general, why is one of them cheating?

Men - spread genes around, stay in relationship and have child with partner too. Best of both worlds.

Women - cheat to acquire superior genes, make loving partner raise unrelated child. Cuckoos do it better.

Well, yeah, plenty of couples have "open" relationships. Then again, they wouldn't consider it "cheating" or something that needs "forgiveness" either.


Of course, neither works particularly well because humans are very sensitive to deception - surely not an evolutionary cooincidence.
drafterman
Posts: 18,870
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 11:26:55 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/11/2013 10:53:43 AM, Mirza wrote:
At 1/11/2013 10:38:49 AM, drafterman wrote:
At 1/11/2013 10:20:00 AM, Mirza wrote:
I think married couples who have a stable and happy relationship in general should forgive cheating -- if they can work toward improving things. As for girlfriend/boyfriend matters, never!

If they have a stable and happy relationship in general, why is one of them cheating?
Temptation, often due to someone from work. This is quite normal. Cheating doesn't mean you are not in love with your partner or don't feel very good about your relationship.

Life is full of temptation. One of the reasons we can exist as a society is the fact that we can reign in those temptations in order to ensure the stability of our relationships. If you can't do that, then I wouldn't call your relationship "stable."
Mirza
Posts: 16,992
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 11:29:04 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/11/2013 11:26:55 AM, drafterman wrote:
Life is full of temptation. One of the reasons we can exist as a society is the fact that we can reign in those temptations in order to ensure the stability of our relationships. If you can't do that, then I wouldn't call your relationship "stable."
Stable isn't perfect. No need to assume there won't be faults on both sides of the marriage. Temptation often makes people forget the good in their relationship. You can have something and forget the goodness of it once in a while. Nothing unusual.
drafterman
Posts: 18,870
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 11:31:23 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/11/2013 11:29:04 AM, Mirza wrote:
At 1/11/2013 11:26:55 AM, drafterman wrote:
Life is full of temptation. One of the reasons we can exist as a society is the fact that we can reign in those temptations in order to ensure the stability of our relationships. If you can't do that, then I wouldn't call your relationship "stable."
Stable isn't perfect.

I didn't say, intend, or imply that it was.

No need to assume there won't be faults on both sides of the marriage.

Good! I'm not!

Temptation often makes people forget the good in their relationship. You can have something and forget the goodness of it once in a while. Nothing unusual.

But still unstable, when it involves something of this magnitude.
drafterman
Posts: 18,870
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 11:36:29 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/11/2013 11:34:04 AM, Mirza wrote:
Your definition of stable is rather uh, uncommon. Whatever floats thy boat.

It seems to be consistent with the dictionary.
Mirza
Posts: 16,992
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 11:41:07 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/11/2013 11:36:29 AM, drafterman wrote:
At 1/11/2013 11:34:04 AM, Mirza wrote:
Your definition of stable is rather uh, uncommon. Whatever floats thy boat.

It seems to be consistent with the dictionary.
I'll repeat myself once more: (1) I mentioned generally stable relationships, so this should be clear enough. (2) People who have stable relationships can be content with them and quite happy, yet happen to wrong. Again -- their relationships are NOT perfect, but they handle it relatively well -- and thus cheating does not presuppose an unstable relationship. It can create one, but not necessarily stem from one. This is commonly accepted as reality.
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,448
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 11:41:09 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/11/2013 11:36:29 AM, drafterman wrote:
At 1/11/2013 11:34:04 AM, Mirza wrote:
Your definition of stable is rather uh, uncommon. Whatever floats thy boat.

It seems to be consistent with the dictionary.

+10

Merriam-Webster would be proud sir
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
Kinesis
Posts: 3,667
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 11:42:27 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/11/2013 11:00:28 AM, johnnyboy54 wrote:
Maybe. I'm no relationship expert, but from my experience most people wouldn't want open relationships. I know I wouldn't.

I'm wondering how much that's human nature and how much that's social conditioning. I know many, probably a majority, wouldn't be happy in an open relationship but the ones that would be are forced to conform because of social expectations.
Kinesis
Posts: 3,667
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 11:44:01 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/11/2013 11:02:52 AM, Mirza wrote:
By the way -- the negative effects of fornication are well-documented, and they're severe. Long-term damage to relationships is thought to be noticeably affected by fornication. Whether cheating in particular is among the consequences is still not quite clear.

Didn't you once defend the death penalty for adultery? Do you?
drafterman
Posts: 18,870
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 12:05:07 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/11/2013 11:41:07 AM, Mirza wrote:
At 1/11/2013 11:36:29 AM, drafterman wrote:
At 1/11/2013 11:34:04 AM, Mirza wrote:
Your definition of stable is rather uh, uncommon. Whatever floats thy boat.

It seems to be consistent with the dictionary.
I'll repeat myself once more: (1) I mentioned generally stable relationships, so this should be clear enough. (2) People who have stable relationships can be content with them and quite happy, yet happen to wrong. Again -- their relationships are NOT perfect, but they handle it relatively well -- and thus cheating does not presuppose an unstable relationship. It can create one, but not necessarily stem from one. This is commonly accepted as reality.

The fact that you can make mistakes and still have a stable relationship (note that I've never implied or stated a requirement of perfection) doesn't mean that all possible mistakes are consistent with a stable relationship.

For example, killing my wife would seem to trump the stability of any relationship... but I digress.

If you are cheating on your spouse then it's likely that: 1) there is some fundamental flaw with the relationship, and it is unstable; 2) there is some fundamental flaw with you, and any relationships you form are inherently unstable.
tBoonePickens
Posts: 3,266
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 12:32:46 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/11/2013 10:15:47 AM, tulle wrote:
When it comes to relationships, the general consensus tends to be that if someone has cheated, the relationship is over.
Yep yep.

What are your thoughts.
I agree that "if someone has cheated, the relationship is over."

Are there exceptions?
Nope.

Would you forgive someone for cheating?
Nope.

What would it take?
What would it take for what?
A) What would it take to cheat: A totally slutty AND demure chick with big t1ts and an arse that tastes like french vanilla ice cream!

B) What would it take to forgive a cheater: an act of God.
WOS
: At 10/3/2012 4:28:52 AM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
: Without nothing existing, you couldn't have something.
bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 1:13:25 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
If people want to have an open relationship, that's fine. If people want to have a closed relationship, that's fine. The problem comes when someone promises something and they break the promise. That's where the trust issue comes into play.
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush
Kinesis
Posts: 3,667
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 1:48:25 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/11/2013 1:13:25 PM, bossyburrito wrote:
If people want to have an open relationship, that's fine. If people want to have a closed relationship, that's fine. The problem comes when someone promises something and they break the promise. That's where the trust issue comes into play.

+1
drafterman
Posts: 18,870
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 2:24:49 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/11/2013 12:32:46 PM, tBoonePickens wrote:
At 1/11/2013 10:15:47 AM, tulle wrote:
When it comes to relationships, the general consensus tends to be that if someone has cheated, the relationship is over.
Yep yep.

What are your thoughts.
I agree that "if someone has cheated, the relationship is over."

Are there exceptions?
Nope.

Would you forgive someone for cheating?
Nope.

What would it take?
What would it take for what?
A) What would it take to cheat: A totally slutty AND demure chick with big t1ts and an arse that tastes like french vanilla ice cream!

B) What would it take to forgive a cheater: an act of God.

That certainly explains why Joseph and Mary stayed together.
Heineken
Posts: 1,230
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 2:33:14 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/11/2013 1:13:25 PM, bossyburrito wrote:
If people want to have an open relationship, that's fine. If people want to have a closed relationship, that's fine. The problem comes when someone promises something and they break the promise. That's where the trust issue comes into play.

- 1

I promised to take the garbage out this morning. I didn't. Time for a divorce?
Vidi, vici, veni.
(I saw, I conquered, I came.)
tulle
Posts: 4,445
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/11/2013 2:52:24 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/11/2013 2:33:14 PM, Heineken wrote:
At 1/11/2013 1:13:25 PM, bossyburrito wrote:
If people want to have an open relationship, that's fine. If people want to have a closed relationship, that's fine. The problem comes when someone promises something and they break the promise. That's where the trust issue comes into play.

- 1

I promised to take the garbage out this morning. I didn't. Time for a divorce?

I would assume he meant if you promise to be monogamous and break that promise.
yang.