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Struggling with suicide

cheesedingo1
Posts: 695
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1/16/2013 7:03:12 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
I've gone through a lot and now I don't know what to do. It isn't a sudden think, ive wanted to for at least 4-5 years. I know some of you are going to say i'm only 17, but since im that young it seems that much more real and I have no idea what i'm going to do now.
My name is Cheesedingo1. I am a dingo. Made of cheese. My favorite number is one. BOOM.
SarcasticIndeed
Posts: 2,215
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1/16/2013 7:16:11 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/16/2013 7:03:12 AM, cheesedingo1 wrote:
I've gone through a lot and now I don't know what to do. It isn't a sudden think, ive wanted to for at least 4-5 years. I know some of you are going to say i'm only 17, but since im that young it seems that much more real and I have no idea what i'm going to do now.

It's not worth it, man. Has something recently happened that made you think of it more?
<SIGNATURE CENSORED> nac
Heineken
Posts: 1,230
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1/16/2013 8:07:47 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Thoughts of suicide are not normal. You need to see a counselor quickly. Start with your school guidance counselor. You have confidentiality with him/her.

If you're on behaviro modification therapy (ADD/ADHD) such as Aderol or Ritalin (and other stimulants) then you need to stop taking the meds immediately until you bring your concerns up to your doctor. These drugs have been shown to increase pre-existing thoughts of suicide.

I assure you, you can experience a worthwhile life and it takes a minimal amount of initiative. (The biggest problem with treating depression is the motivation to seek help).

All you need to do is speak to your counselor. They will help and you won't need to do much else besides show up. (The hallmark trait of depression is crippling de-motivation...and counselors know that. They will do most of the leg-work for you because of that.)
Vidi, vici, veni.
(I saw, I conquered, I came.)
Mirza
Posts: 16,992
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1/16/2013 8:50:58 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Difficult times make us stronger and more aware of our strengths, and less vulnerable to weaknesses. Suicide might end the pain, but it won't bring you joy. Struggling with your difficulties and overcoming them will end your pain, and bring you great joy.
Franz_Reynard
Posts: 1,227
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1/16/2013 8:57:26 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/16/2013 7:03:12 AM, cheesedingo1 wrote:
I've gone through a lot and now I don't know what to do. It isn't a sudden think, ive wanted to for at least 4-5 years. I know some of you are going to say i'm only 17, but since im that young it seems that much more real and I have no idea what i'm going to do now.

Well... if you are truly in that dark place, that deep immaculately dark and empty place where you are really entertaining thoughts of death, allow me to intimate to you one way of approaching it and satisfactorily continuing to live, all things considered, at least for the time being.

Now, I'm not condoning any sort of reckless or harmful behavior. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt as a generally decent person that delights in shenanigans that are free of casualty counts.

But, that said, if you no longer value your life in the way that most people tend to, then you have truly reached nirvana in a sense -- you can treat every moment as your last and do every and act on every and any little whim that comes to mind. Why not? It could very well be your last day on earth, you even teetering on the edge of doing it yourself, right?

A world with no rules, no consequences, no fears. Why? What's the worst that could happen to you? Nothing. Absolutely nothing, right? You've felt it all, seen it all, been everywhere, and you might be ready to make that ultimate decision.

I suppose, you can do that for awhile and see whether existence grows on you a bit, at least.

I mean, just think -- you have so much control over your life that you could end it, why not give pleasure a try?

I hear it's the best thing existence has, and it's quite a dandy indeed.
TheElderScroll
Posts: 643
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1/16/2013 10:14:21 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/16/2013 7:03:12 AM, cheesedingo1 wrote:
I've gone through a lot and now I don't know what to do. It isn't a sudden think, ive wanted to for at least 4-5 years. I know some of you are going to say i'm only 17, but since im that young it seems that much more real and I have no idea what i'm going to do now.

I would suggest you to listen to some "epic music" on Youtube. "Requiem for a Dream for example." Music is said to have a healing effect on humans. It works on me.
cheesedingo1
Posts: 695
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1/16/2013 2:05:52 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/16/2013 8:57:26 AM, Franz_Reynard wrote:
At 1/16/2013 7:03:12 AM, cheesedingo1 wrote:
I've gone through a lot and now I don't know what to do. It isn't a sudden think, ive wanted to for at least 4-5 years. I know some of you are going to say i'm only 17, but since im that young it seems that much more real and I have no idea what i'm going to do now.

Well... if you are truly in that dark place, that deep immaculately dark and empty place where you are really entertaining thoughts of death, allow me to intimate to you one way of approaching it and satisfactorily continuing to live, all things considered, at least for the time being.

Now, I'm not condoning any sort of reckless or harmful behavior. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt as a generally decent person that delights in shenanigans that are free of casualty counts.

But, that said, if you no longer value your life in the way that most people tend to, then you have truly reached nirvana in a sense -- you can treat every moment as your last and do every and act on every and any little whim that comes to mind. Why not? It could very well be your last day on earth, you even teetering on the edge of doing it yourself, right?

A world with no rules, no consequences, no fears. Why? What's the worst that could happen to you? Nothing. Absolutely nothing, right? You've felt it all, seen it all, been everywhere, and you might be ready to make that ultimate decision.

I suppose, you can do that for awhile and see whether existence grows on you a bit, at least.

I mean, just think -- you have so much control over your life that you could end it, why not give pleasure a try?

I hear it's the best thing existence has, and it's quite a dandy indeed.

Thank you I'll try this. It makes the most sense.
My name is Cheesedingo1. I am a dingo. Made of cheese. My favorite number is one. BOOM.
Kinesis
Posts: 3,667
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1/16/2013 2:25:39 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/16/2013 8:57:26 AM, Franz_Reynard wrote:
At 1/16/2013 7:03:12 AM, cheesedingo1 wrote:
I've gone through a lot and now I don't know what to do. It isn't a sudden think, ive wanted to for at least 4-5 years. I know some of you are going to say i'm only 17, but since im that young it seems that much more real and I have no idea what i'm going to do now.

Well... if you are truly in that dark place, that deep immaculately dark and empty place where you are really entertaining thoughts of death, allow me to intimate to you one way of approaching it and satisfactorily continuing to live, all things considered, at least for the time being.

Now, I'm not condoning any sort of reckless or harmful behavior. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt as a generally decent person that delights in shenanigans that are free of casualty counts.

But, that said, if you no longer value your life in the way that most people tend to, then you have truly reached nirvana in a sense -- you can treat every moment as your last and do every and act on every and any little whim that comes to mind. Why not? It could very well be your last day on earth, you even teetering on the edge of doing it yourself, right?

A world with no rules, no consequences, no fears. Why? What's the worst that could happen to you? Nothing. Absolutely nothing, right? You've felt it all, seen it all, been everywhere, and you might be ready to make that ultimate decision.

I suppose, you can do that for awhile and see whether existence grows on you a bit, at least.

I mean, just think -- you have so much control over your life that you could end it, why not give pleasure a try?

I hear it's the best thing existence has, and it's quite a dandy indeed.

Don't go TOO crazy though. It's no use deciding you want to live after all after taking hallucinogens and getting arresting for dressing up in a spiderman costume and trying to web the president.
jat93
Posts: 1,440
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1/16/2013 3:44:50 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/16/2013 7:03:12 AM, cheesedingo1 wrote:
I've gone through a lot and now I don't know what to do. It isn't a sudden think, ive wanted to for at least 4-5 years. I know some of you are going to say i'm only 17, but since im that young it seems that much more real and I have no idea what i'm going to do now.

I've struggled with this as well for many years. My honest opinion? We're still kids, basically. I mean I'm 20 this August but still, I'm a teenager and I'm a student and I'm living at home with my parents and I still have a lot of the moodiness and hormonal insanity that is characteristic of teens. I also frequently display bipolar symptoms though so idk if these will subside when I get older or if it'll be with me for life. The point is, though, that we're just kids. Life may be sh!tty now, but at least give growing up a chance, and see what you think. It's normal, especially in this day and age, to be miserable and stressed and depressed (okay well maybe not all the time) and to struggle immensely during your teenage years. It's a very turbulent time both due to natural reasons and socially constructed ones. Wouldn't it be a shame to off yourself when there's a chance you'll grow up and spend your life doing things you love, helping others, benefiting the world?

Besides, the very fact that you posted this shows that you don't WANT to kill yourself. You want to live and you want to be happy. Well, this is certainly an attainable goal. It comes easier to some than it does to others - nobody can do anything about that. It may take a lot of work but it's worth it. If you've really lived for a while, tried being happy with the freedom and independence (compared with childhood) that comes with being an adult in this society, and you still really wanted to kill yourself because your life was so painful and miserable that it just wasn't worth it... I'd still argue against it but that would be a bit of a different story. Also, I hate to sound like a jerk, but think of how privileged you are. I'm guessing you have access to a decent education, a computer, a television, books, music, nature, food whenever you want it, and some degree of loving friends and family who care very much about you and want you to thrive. Even today, half the world lives on less than 2$ a day. This is today, in the 21st century, so imagine what it has been like for most of our history, before there was such a thing as a middle class. Most of our history has been characterized by war, death, strife, insecurity, fighting over resources we need to live, etc. You and I are soooo lucky to live in the wealthy, stable society in which we live and have access to the privileges I mentioned. Take advantage of these privileges and try to make something of yourself with them: be that "something" a happy person, a rich person, an influential person, or maybe all of the above. You and I are too young to seriously consider suicide, unless you have no hope for the future because you were born into extreme poverty and/or you've got some horrible illness.
RyuuKyuzo
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1/16/2013 7:49:16 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
You spent the first 14 billion years not being alive and you're going to spend the next 10^10^100 years not being alive too.

What's the rush?

This time you spend alive isn't meant to be a punishment for anything. It's a gift, and if you really don't want this gift then you have every right to return it. It's your choice, and whatever you choose ultimately won't matter because you'll be dead soon enough either way -- so ask yourself, is there really nothing you can do right now that you'd enjoy more than dying?

If you can think of even one thing, then do that first. Why not? One last time won't hurt. After you do that, ask yourself the same question, so on and so forth. Once you run out of things you'd rather do than die, then go ahead and off yourself -- but before that, why piss away the opportunity?
If you're reading this, you're awesome and you should feel awesome.
YYW
Posts: 36,296
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1/17/2013 3:43:19 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/16/2013 7:03:12 AM, cheesedingo1 wrote:
I've gone through a lot and now I don't know what to do. It isn't a sudden think, ive wanted to for at least 4-5 years. I know some of you are going to say i'm only 17, but since im that young it seems that much more real and I have no idea what i'm going to do now.

It's very saddening for me to hear that you're thinking about suicide. I don't know you, but others do and your life is as much a part of theirs as their lives are a part of yours.

Life is a choice we make on a day to day basis that so many of us take for granted. We assume that because we are living in the present and have lived for as long as we have existed in time, that we will continue to do so. Often, we forget that every breath we take is a choice to continue living. I make that clear to illustrate a point, though, that it's fairly hard to grasp with a limited perspective of being in time, that one necessarily has limited by their age.

Life in time is governed by a perspective that is relative to the time we have spent on earth. It is logical, then, that ones personal ability to recognize the potential for a better and brighter future, to have hope (especially in the wake of hardship) is constrained by our experiences that we have known. True enough, there are so many experiences that a 16 or 17 year old has already had, but there are so many more yet to be had, so many more days left to be lived, so many more opportunities to choose life for oneself.

I won't pretend to know how you feel or what brought you to this point, because I don't and can't know -but you do, and while right now, it hurts I'm sure, it will pass. I know it will pass because life goes on when you continue to make the choice to live, to live for yourself, and to affect your life in a way that it will improve. You have that opportunity, every moment of every day. No mater how obscured it may be, or distant hope may seem, it's there. It's within reach, if you make the choice to live.
Tsar of DDO
Azul145
Posts: 22
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1/17/2013 7:33:30 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Do not even think about suicide. Just think of your parents..... Your classmates..... Everyone that has ever known you..... United in sorrow for a great kid with his whole life ahead of him. Just think of all the people that want you to stay...... People that need you..... In the end you're punishing them, not yourself.
Everything is going according to my plan.
emospongebob527
Posts: 790
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1/17/2013 7:47:11 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/16/2013 7:03:12 AM, cheesedingo1 wrote:
I've gone through a lot and now I don't know what to do.

Well then you better find out quick...

It isn't a sudden think*, ive wanted to for at least 4-5 years.

Thought* See a counselor, quick.

I know some of you are going to say i'm only 17,

You're only 17.

but since im that young it seems that much more real.

I don't see how age has any effect on reality of situation.

and I have no idea what i'm going to do now

Better find out quick.
"not to toot my own horn (it aint need no tooin if u know what im saying), but my writings on "viciousness: the one true viture (fancy spelling for virtue)" and my poem "A poem I wrote about DDO" put me in a class of my damn own. im just an UNRECONGIZED geniuse" -bananafana
SarcasticIndeed
Posts: 2,215
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1/18/2013 5:15:05 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/17/2013 7:47:11 PM, emospongebob527 wrote:
At 1/16/2013 7:03:12 AM, cheesedingo1 wrote:
I've gone through a lot and now I don't know what to do.

Well then you better find out quick...

It isn't a sudden think*, ive wanted to for at least 4-5 years.

Thought* See a counselor, quick.

I know some of you are going to say i'm only 17,

You're only 17.

but since im that young it seems that much more real.

I don't see how age has any effect on reality of situation.

and I have no idea what i'm going to do now

Better find out quick.

Seriously...?
<SIGNATURE CENSORED> nac
cheesedingo1
Posts: 695
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1/19/2013 3:09:00 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/17/2013 7:47:11 PM, emospongebob527 wrote:
At 1/16/2013 7:03:12 AM, cheesedingo1 wrote:
I've gone through a lot and now I don't know what to do.

Well then you better find out quick...

It isn't a sudden think*, ive wanted to for at least 4-5 years.

Thought* See a counselor, quick.

I know some of you are going to say i'm only 17,

You're only 17.

but since im that young it seems that much more real.

I don't see how age has any effect on reality of situation.

and I have no idea what i'm going to do now

Better find out quick.

God, your an a$$hole.
My name is Cheesedingo1. I am a dingo. Made of cheese. My favorite number is one. BOOM.
cheesedingo1
Posts: 695
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1/19/2013 3:10:56 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Well, everyone, I'm probably going to do it soon, so I'll see you in heaven or hell or wherever you beleive people go after death. Bye
My name is Cheesedingo1. I am a dingo. Made of cheese. My favorite number is one. BOOM.
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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1/19/2013 3:14:38 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
I don't really know you but I hope you don't do it. Again, I don't even know you and I'd be hurt if you did it. I can only imagine how people who love and care about you would feel. Think about it.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

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Kinesis
Posts: 3,667
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1/19/2013 4:03:23 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/19/2013 3:10:56 AM, cheesedingo1 wrote:
Well, everyone, I'm probably going to do it soon, so I'll see you in heaven or hell or wherever you beleive people go after death. Bye

C'mon man, there are definitely people in your life who love you, and more people who will love you in the future. Don't do this to them.
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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1/19/2013 4:17:46 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/19/2013 3:10:56 AM, cheesedingo1 wrote:
Well, everyone, I'm probably going to do it soon, so I'll see you in heaven or hell or wherever you beleive people go after death. Bye

I really hope to see you online soon. I sent you a PM but you've already logged off :/

It's not worth it.
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
jat93
Posts: 1,440
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1/19/2013 5:09:22 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/19/2013 3:10:56 AM, cheesedingo1 wrote:
Well, everyone, I'm probably going to do it soon, so I'll see you in heaven or hell or wherever you beleive people go after death. Bye

It is not worth it. We are all here for each other. Think of those you love now and who love you back. Imagine those you might have loved but would never get the chance to love or be loved by if you ended the one chance you have in this world.

I can almost guarantee you that I understand your predicament. To be perfectly and uniquely blunt - I struggle intensely with being bipolar, let's just leave it at that. If you need anyone to talk to I am here for you as a friend and a brother and the same goes for everyone else here whose help you might need. This is a community and we are all here to help. Please consider the following before doing anything harmful to yourself:

* You will get a little bit older, say, past your teenage years, and stuff will start to calm down a little bit, and you will start to find living life worthwhile - at least more worthwhile than you find it today.
* Your friends and loved ones and the ones you will go on to form relationships with in the future.
* Success in a career that makes you happy and fulfilled.
* Movies, music, books.
* The weekend.
* Falling asleep with your arms wrapped around a beautiful girl. (If you haven't done this yet I promise it's worth living for.)

I don't even know what I'm saying anymore, honestly I'm hungover as sh!t, but I am sincere nonetheless. I feel for you. There are tons of people here who feel for you as well. The only thing we can't do is live and breathe for you. However we can help you live and breathe for yourself. And we want to. So do yourself and the DDO community and your friends and loved ones and the world a favor - seek out someone who honestly feels for you, who wants nothing more than for you to live and breathe happily and healthily and well, and let them love you, let them help you, that you may learn to love and help yourself. You have so much potential to change things for the better, both in your individual life and in the lives of others. What a shame it would be to squander such an opportunity. After all, it only comes once in a lifetime.

Yours, truly,
Jonathan Adam T.
YYW
Posts: 36,296
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1/19/2013 3:36:06 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/19/2013 4:17:46 AM, Oryus wrote:
At 1/19/2013 3:10:56 AM, cheesedingo1 wrote:
Well, everyone, I'm probably going to do it soon, so I'll see you in heaven or hell or wherever you beleive people go after death. Bye

I really hope to see you online soon.

As do I. Do, for your sake and that of others, give this some reconsideration. I'm sure there are plenty of people, even on DDO -and in that I include myself- who you could talk to.

-YYW
Tsar of DDO
lannan13
Posts: 23,074
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1/19/2013 5:33:56 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/16/2013 7:03:12 AM, cheesedingo1 wrote:
I've gone through a lot and now I don't know what to do. It isn't a sudden think, ive wanted to for at least 4-5 years. I know some of you are going to say i'm only 17, but since im that young it seems that much more real and I have no idea what i'm going to do now.

I know how it feels and attempting to snap out of it is hard... *far off look in his eye* where was I... oh yes. You just need to focus ahead a continue with more chearful things. I always thought of you as the happy guy that this * waves hand around him* would be a problem. Suciside is a mental disorder ( I'm not joking) you should try to seek counsoling. In my opinion you shouldn't do it... cuse you'll be missed by people including me. Just like how I miss kyro90.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-Lannan13'S SIGNATURE-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

If the sky's the limit then why do we have footprints on the Moon? I'm shooting my aspirations for the stars.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt

Topics I want to debate. (http://tinyurl.com...)
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lannan13
Posts: 23,074
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1/19/2013 5:35:32 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/19/2013 3:10:56 AM, cheesedingo1 wrote:
Well, everyone, I'm probably going to do it soon, so I'll see you in heaven or hell or wherever you beleive people go after death. Bye

Noooooooo! DON'T DO IT!
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-Lannan13'S SIGNATURE-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

If the sky's the limit then why do we have footprints on the Moon? I'm shooting my aspirations for the stars.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt

Topics I want to debate. (http://tinyurl.com...)
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bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
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1/19/2013 5:43:04 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Don't kill yourself. I can't imagine that it would be worth it.
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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1/19/2013 5:45:56 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/19/2013 5:43:04 PM, bossyburrito wrote:
Don't kill yourself. I can't imagine that it would be worth it.

It's an eternal solution for a finite problem. It will never be worth it.
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
lannan13
Posts: 23,074
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1/19/2013 5:52:43 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/19/2013 5:45:56 PM, Oryus wrote:
At 1/19/2013 5:43:04 PM, bossyburrito wrote:
Don't kill yourself. I can't imagine that it would be worth it.

It's an eternal solution for a finite problem. It will never be worth it.

The truth will set you free.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-Lannan13'S SIGNATURE-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

If the sky's the limit then why do we have footprints on the Moon? I'm shooting my aspirations for the stars.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt

Topics I want to debate. (http://tinyurl.com...)
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
1Devilsadvocate
Posts: 1,518
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1/19/2013 9:50:19 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/19/2013 3:14:38 AM, Maikuru wrote:
I don't really know you but I hope you don't do it. Again, I don't even know you and I'd be hurt if you did it. I can only imagine how people who love and care about you would feel. Think about it.

That's a good point, even if not for yourself, do it for your loved ones.
(& us here on DDO :))

There is some chemical imbalence that is makeing you feel this way.
A good psycologist can give you what you need to get back in controll.
Trust me, I know from expirience.
It's nothing to be ashamed of it's not your fault that your this way.
It's not any different from taking medication for any other sickness.
Society thankfully coming around to this realization.
Go for it, speak to someone you trust.

Life can be great again.

Remeber:

THIS TO SHALL PASS.

Things will get better, you just have to be proactive about it.
It's worth it.
I cannot write in English, because of the treacherous spelling. When I am reading, I only hear it and am unable to remember what the written word looks like."
"Albert Einstein

http://www.twainquotes.com... , http://thewritecorner.wordpress.com... , http://www.onlinecollegecourses.com...
cheesedingo1
Posts: 695
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1/19/2013 9:57:51 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/19/2013 5:33:56 PM, lannan13 wrote:
At 1/16/2013 7:03:12 AM, cheesedingo1 wrote:
I've gone through a lot and now I don't know what to do. It isn't a sudden think, ive wanted to for at least 4-5 years. I know some of you are going to say i'm only 17, but since im that young it seems that much more real and I have no idea what i'm going to do now.

I know how it feels and attempting to snap out of it is hard... *far off look in his eye* where was I... oh yes. You just need to focus ahead a continue with more chearful things. I always thought of you as the happy guy that this * waves hand around him* would be a problem. Suciside is a mental disorder ( I'm not joking) you should try to seek counsoling. In my opinion you shouldn't do it... cuse you'll be missed by people including me. Just like how I miss kyro90.

What happened to kyro?
My name is Cheesedingo1. I am a dingo. Made of cheese. My favorite number is one. BOOM.
tulle
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1/19/2013 10:04:07 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Talk to someone in real life. A counsellor, a family member, someone. Do you guys have suicide help lines? Call one. I don't know if you guys have 211? If you call them, they can give you the number for a help line.
yang.