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When I First Discovered Masturbation

GarretKadeDupre
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2/7/2013 9:29:48 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Alright, this feels really weird to be discussing with a bunch of strangers, but I've been wondering...

Even though I was raised in a religious (should I say, perversely, fanatically religious) household, I was never taught about the immorality of masturbation. However, when I discovered it around age 10, I assumed it was wrong and constantly swore to God that I'd quit (never managed that yet).

My question is, why the hell did I think it was immoral unless it was because of some moral code God wrote on my heart?

I'm especially interested in answers from atheists.
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Andromeda_Z
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2/7/2013 10:44:33 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
I'm not sure. It may be an evolutionary thing, no reproductive sense in masturbation if there are more offspring when you actually have sex. And with more offspring, there are better odds that some would grow old enough and reproduce, which is important to the survival of the species and your genetics. If this is the case, then it would make sense to think there was something wrong with masturbation without ever having been taught so.
darkkermit
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2/7/2013 10:48:13 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/7/2013 10:44:33 PM, Andromeda_Z wrote:
I'm not sure. It may be an evolutionary thing, no reproductive sense in masturbation if there are more offspring when you actually have sex. And with more offspring, there are better odds that some would grow old enough and reproduce, which is important to the survival of the species and your genetics. If this is the case, then it would make sense to think there was something wrong with masturbation without ever having been taught so.

perhaps it would make sense to feel shame in masturbating, but its a pretty well established trait of apes. Semen has to get out one way or another.

Although american culture tends to have strong sex-taboos as well.
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phantom
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2/7/2013 10:54:47 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
My question is, why the hell did I think it was immoral unless it was because of some moral code God wrote on my heart?

Probably partially due to your evolved sense of conscience and partially because of your upbringing. At a young age I assumed, without actually being told, that rock music was bad. My parents didn't/don't even believe that but when you're taught a large variety of dogmatic principles, you tend to make assumptions. You were probably already taught that fornication, lust, pornography, perhaps even condoms and other things were wrong. Many of these things, such as pornography, are just sexually gratifying acts. A young person might associate masturbation with all these other acts he's been taught are wrong because they're really not very dissimilar and thus view it as immoral.
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bladerunner060
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2/7/2013 11:04:38 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Because our society stigmatizes sex to a ridiculous degree.

Of course, some of us don't imprint "normalcy", and never get that "writ on our heart". Thankfully.
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Franz_Reynard
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2/7/2013 11:11:11 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/7/2013 9:29:48 PM, GarretKadeDupre wrote:
Alright, this feels really weird to be discussing with a bunch of strangers, but I've been wondering...

Even though I was raised in a religious (should I say, perversely, fanatically religious) household, I was never taught about the immorality of masturbation. However, when I discovered it around age 10, I assumed it was wrong and constantly swore to God that I'd quit (never managed that yet).

My question is, why the hell did I think it was immoral unless it was because of some moral code God wrote on my heart?

I'm especially interested in answers from atheists.

I have my suspicions that humans innately feel guilt in response to pleasure that isn't earned in some way. Add to this the taboo that most children are taught about their "privates." Very young children often masturbate as a natural part of sexual exploration with no perceivable guilt, but are admonished by adults who witness it. Perhaps this is subconsciously remembered in later years when hormones prompt people to rediscover masturbation as a sexual outlet.
johnnyboy54
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2/7/2013 11:21:17 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
I can totally relate to your problem. Growing up in a strong Catholic household, I was always told that touching myself was a sin and would lead me to be sodomized by the devil.

However, such restrictions presents a true Catholic with an ethical dilemma. You see, as Catholics, we are called to, "be fruitful and multiply." Now, without the release that masturbation provides, my balls would have surely exploded. This of course means I would no longer be able to sow my wild oats, and thus be unable to fulfill the commands of God.

Normally, such a contradiction would have destroyed any faith I have in God. However, being Catholic, we are allowed to make it up as we go along via the authority of the Pope. I am now embroiled in a relentless effort to achieve the office of the papacy, and I will not only allow Catholic males to masturbate, but I will in fact mandate that Catholics jack off at least twice a day.

I am the savior of all man's testicles. You're welcome.
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Polaris
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2/7/2013 11:23:11 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/7/2013 9:29:48 PM, GarretKadeDupre wrote:
Alright, this feels really weird to be discussing with a bunch of strangers, but I've been wondering...

Even though I was raised in a religious (should I say, perversely, fanatically religious) household, I was never taught about the immorality of masturbation. However, when I discovered it around age 10, I assumed it was wrong and constantly swore to God that I'd quit (never managed that yet).

My question is, why the hell did I think it was immoral unless it was because of some moral code God wrote on my heart?

I'm especially interested in answers from atheists.

This is an interesting question. I suspect that it might have to do with your sense of observational norms. Specifically you may have felt that it was aberrant and strange behavior, because you (I'm assuming) never saw anyone masturbate before as people tend to do it in private, a result of the 'sex in public' taboo. This is only conjecture, but I would predict that at that same age other activities done only in private and not publicly acknowledged would earn the same sense of shame.
Polaris
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2/7/2013 11:25:59 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/7/2013 11:21:17 PM, johnnyboy54 wrote:
I was always told that touching myself was a sin and would lead me to be sodomized by the devil.

????

0_o
johnnyboy54
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2/7/2013 11:31:37 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/7/2013 11:25:59 PM, Polaris wrote:
At 2/7/2013 11:21:17 PM, johnnyboy54 wrote:
I was always told that touching myself was a sin and would lead me to be sodomized by the devil.


????

0_o

He is actually quite gentle back there.
I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.
Buddamoose
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2/7/2013 11:32:25 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
http://youtu.be...
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XDToasty
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2/8/2013 12:27:22 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/7/2013 9:29:48 PM, GarretKadeDupre wrote:
Alright, this feels really weird to be discussing with a bunch of strangers, but I've been wondering...

Even though I was raised in a religious (should I say, perversely, fanatically religious) household, I was never taught about the immorality of masturbation. However, when I discovered it around age 10, I assumed it was wrong and constantly swore to God that I'd quit (never managed that yet).

My question is, why the hell did I think it was immoral unless it was because of some moral code God wrote on my heart?

I'm especially interested in answers from atheists.

I discovered it when I was 13 lol. I atheists who was raised by jesus freaks. I think everything I did back then was to piss them off because I couldn't do , watch , or have things other kids had cause it was somehow connected to the devil. at the time I somewhat believed in god and felt like what I had just discovered was bad and tried to stop as well but it was too hard. after a while I stopped caring cause I figured out everyone I knew was doing it.
Polaris
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2/8/2013 12:44:54 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/7/2013 11:31:37 PM, johnnyboy54 wrote:
At 2/7/2013 11:25:59 PM, Polaris wrote:
At 2/7/2013 11:21:17 PM, johnnyboy54 wrote:
I was always told that touching myself was a sin and would lead me to be sodomized by the devil.


????

0_o

He is actually quite gentle back there.

I mean no disrespect, but I find it abhorrent that a parent would tell a young child such a thing.
Skepsikyma
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2/8/2013 12:46:01 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Well, this is probably out of the norm, but the first time that I was exposed to masturbation was when I read the definition in the dictionary; I think when I was a preteen. So the idea was very clinical for me by the time I hit puberty, there was no guilt involved.

It was something along these lines:
"Erotic stimulation especially of one's own genital organs commonly resulting in orgasm and achieved by manual or other bodily contact exclusive of sexual intercourse, by instrumental manipulation, occasionally by sexual fantasies, or by various combinations of these agencies."

If you want to shelter your kids, keep them away from unabridged dictionaries. And medical texts. Boy did I get an early education.

I would agree that our culture stigmatizes sex to a ridiculous degree. I knew one set of parents who let their barely teenage boy watch Kill Bill but were HORRIFIED that he had seen some drunk guy peeing in a field new years eve.
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GarretKadeDupre
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2/8/2013 5:23:07 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/7/2013 10:54:47 PM, phantom wrote:
My question is, why the hell did I think it was immoral unless it was because of some moral code God wrote on my heart?

You were probably already taught that fornication, lust, pornography, perhaps even condoms and other things were wrong.

I wasn't even aware of the words fornication, pornography, or condom. I had heard of lust but I had no clue what it meant.

At 2/7/2013 11:04:38 PM, bladerunner060 wrote:
Because our society stigmatizes sex to a ridiculous degree.

What? No. That's ridiculous. Our society goes out of its way to promote sex.

At 2/7/2013 11:11:11 PM, Franz_Reynard wrote:
I have my suspicions that humans innately feel guilt in response to pleasure that isn't earned in some way.

My favorite response so far.

At 2/7/2013 11:21:17 PM, johnnyboy54 wrote:
I was always told that touching myself was a sin and would lead me to be sodomized by the devil.

LOL.


However, such restrictions presents a true Catholic with an ethical dilemma. You see, as Catholics, we are called to, "be fruitful and multiply." Now, without the release that masturbation provides, my balls would have surely exploded.

I hope you aren't being serious. And I may be an anomaly, but I never get ball problems (or any problems) from not jacking off. Of course, the longest period of abstinence I've had in the past 9 years was probably only a couple months. Lol.

At 2/8/2013 12:46:01 AM, Skepsikyma wrote:
Well, this is probably out of the norm, but the first time that I was exposed to masturbation was when I read the definition in the dictionary; I think when I was a preteen. So the idea was very clinical for me by the time I hit puberty, there was no guilt involved.

It was something along these lines:
"Erotic stimulation especially of one's own genital organs commonly resulting in orgasm and achieved by manual or other bodily contact exclusive of sexual intercourse, by instrumental manipulation, occasionally by sexual fantasies, or by various combinations of these agencies."

If you want to shelter your kids, keep them away from unabridged dictionaries. And medical texts. Boy did I get an early education.

LOL, I found out about sex when I was 11 from an old encyclopedia. I was like W.T.F. No actually, I thought the devil had put the part about "intercourse is when a man lies near a woman and places his penis inside her vagina" to confuse me. Not sure how confusing me like that would benefit him, though, lol.


I would agree that our culture stigmatizes sex to a ridiculous degree.

Like I told bladerunner060, that's stupid. Our culture goes out of its way to promote sex.
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vbaculum
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2/8/2013 7:45:52 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/7/2013 11:21:17 PM, johnnyboy54 wrote:
I can totally relate to your problem. Growing up in a strong Catholic household, I was always told that touching myself was a sin and would lead me to be sodomized by the devil.

However, such restrictions presents a true Catholic with an ethical dilemma. You see, as Catholics, we are called to, "be fruitful and multiply." Now, without the release that masturbation provides, my balls would have surely exploded. This of course means I would no longer be able to sow my wild oats, and thus be unable to fulfill the commands of God.

Normally, such a contradiction would have destroyed any faith I have in God. However, being Catholic, we are allowed to make it up as we go along via the authority of the Pope. I am now embroiled in a relentless effort to achieve the office of the papacy, and I will not only allow Catholic males to masturbate, but I will in fact mandate that Catholics jack off at least twice a day.

Bravo!

I am the savior of all man's testicles. You're welcome.

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Kinesis
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2/8/2013 7:59:11 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Well I started jacking off a long time ago lol, so I don't really remember. But from what I recall I wasn't worried that what I was doing was immoral or whatever, but I was worried that my parents would find out. I guess it comes down to the social stigma towards anything sexual that made me worried that other people would think I was weird if they found out. Not telling kids that this kind of thing is completely normal probably causes a lot of needless stress in kids.
Kinesis
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2/8/2013 8:00:20 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/7/2013 9:29:48 PM, GarretKadeDupre wrote:
Alright, this feels really weird to be discussing with a bunch of strangers, but I've been wondering...

Even though I was raised in a religious (should I say, perversely, fanatically religious) household, I was never taught about the immorality of masturbation. However, when I discovered it around age 10, I assumed it was wrong and constantly swore to God that I'd quit (never managed that yet).

My question is, why the hell did I think it was immoral unless it was because of some moral code God wrote on my heart?

I'm especially interested in answers from atheists.

btw, if you're trying to use this as an argument for god I have no words...
vbaculum
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2/8/2013 8:01:19 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/7/2013 9:29:48 PM, GarretKadeDupre wrote:
Alright, this feels really weird to be discussing with a bunch of strangers, but I've been wondering...

Even though I was raised in a religious (should I say, perversely, fanatically religious) household, I was never taught about the immorality of masturbation. However, when I discovered it around age 10, I assumed it was wrong and constantly swore to God that I'd quit (never managed that yet).

My question is, why the hell did I think it was immoral unless it was because of some moral code God wrote on my heart?

People unconciously pick up on the mores of their culture.

The fact that nobody mentioned masturbation is itself a strong clue to its percieved "immorality" - especially when the catholic attitude to all things sexual is taken into account.

It's a shame that the religious are so eager to poison such a simple (and healthy) pleasures.

I'm especially interested in answers from atheists.
"If you claim to value nonviolence and you consume animal products, you need to rethink your position on nonviolence." - Gary Francione

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Heineken
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2/8/2013 8:53:41 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
From a purely materialistic point of view, masturbation is not entirely healthy, despite the fact that it's very normal.

The human brain develops it's "love map" at an early age. It has been argued that masturbation could be harmful to monogamy because most masturbation occurs in conjunction with pornography.

Studies have shown (although inconclusively in my opinion), that pornographic arousal, resulting in self-stimulation, ultimately wires the brain to become sexually attracted to that method of reaching climax.
The study showed that some people (men and women) could no longer preform without watching porn, or "jump starting" themselves...because their brain was hardwired for climax through masturbation, rather than sexual intercourse.

This supposedly strains a relationship, because healthy sexuality usually results in the "mated pair" growing sexually dependent on each other.

Hence, the argument is that healthy sexual stimulus should occur in the presence of the chosen sexual partner, but due to over-exposure to pornography and self-stimulation, the brain now associates arousal with other focus points...resulting in less intimacy or strained intimacy.
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GarretKadeDupre
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2/8/2013 8:58:30 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/8/2013 8:01:19 AM, vbaculum wrote:
At 2/7/2013 9:29:48 PM, GarretKadeDupre wrote:
Alright, this feels really weird to be discussing with a bunch of strangers, but I've been wondering...

Even though I was raised in a religious (should I say, perversely, fanatically religious) household, I was never taught about the immorality of masturbation. However, when I discovered it around age 10, I assumed it was wrong and constantly swore to God that I'd quit (never managed that yet).

My question is, why the hell did I think it was immoral unless it was because of some moral code God wrote on my heart?

People unconciously pick up on the mores of their culture.

The fact that nobody mentioned masturbation is itself a strong clue to its percieved "immorality" - especially when the catholic attitude to all things sexual is taken into account.

What's the 'Catholic attitude to all things sexual'?


It's a shame that the religious are so eager to poison such a simple (and healthy) pleasures.

While it's a shame that so many religious people make sex itself seem bad, it's equally a shame that so many atheists make sex seem trivial.
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SarcasticIndeed
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2/8/2013 9:13:38 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
I found it out at 6, and never thought about it as a bad thing, just something I'd hide for others. So, if God did write morals on your heart, he didn't do the same to me.
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bladerunner060
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2/8/2013 9:38:15 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/8/2013 5:23:07 AM, GarretKadeDupre wrote:
At 2/7/2013 11:04:38 PM, bladerunner060 wrote:
Because our society stigmatizes sex to a ridiculous degree.

What? No. That's ridiculous. Our society goes out of its way to promote sex.

Really? I think you're mistaken.

We have an undercurrent of sexuality, yes, which can seem to "promote sex", but we're quite "sex negative", to the point where nudity is worse than violence, as Skepsikyma noted. And sex is never talked about specifically, you'll note. Nope; there's something wrong with sex, so there have to be euphemisms.

How many years did Lucy and Ricky have to sleep in separate twin beds?
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Kinesis
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2/8/2013 9:46:37 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/8/2013 8:58:30 AM, GarretKadeDupre wrote:
At 2/8/2013 8:01:19 AM, vbaculum wrote:
At 2/7/2013 9:29:48 PM, GarretKadeDupre wrote:
Alright, this feels really weird to be discussing with a bunch of strangers, but I've been wondering...

Even though I was raised in a religious (should I say, perversely, fanatically religious) household, I was never taught about the immorality of masturbation. However, when I discovered it around age 10, I assumed it was wrong and constantly swore to God that I'd quit (never managed that yet).

My question is, why the hell did I think it was immoral unless it was because of some moral code God wrote on my heart?

People unconciously pick up on the mores of their culture.

The fact that nobody mentioned masturbation is itself a strong clue to its percieved "immorality" - especially when the catholic attitude to all things sexual is taken into account.

What's the 'Catholic attitude to all things sexual'?


It's a shame that the religious are so eager to poison such a simple (and healthy) pleasures.

While it's a shame that so many religious people make sex itself seem bad, it's equally a shame that so many atheists make sex seem trivial.

Could you provide examples? I think sex is one of the most awesome things about being human.
vbaculum
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2/8/2013 9:56:43 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/8/2013 8:58:30 AM, GarretKadeDupre wrote:
At 2/8/2013 8:01:19 AM, vbaculum wrote:
At 2/7/2013 9:29:48 PM, GarretKadeDupre wrote:
Alright, this feels really weird to be discussing with a bunch of strangers, but I've been wondering...

Even though I was raised in a religious (should I say, perversely, fanatically religious) household, I was never taught about the immorality of masturbation. However, when I discovered it around age 10, I assumed it was wrong and constantly swore to God that I'd quit (never managed that yet).

My question is, why the hell did I think it was immoral unless it was because of some moral code God wrote on my heart?

People unconciously pick up on the mores of their culture.

The fact that nobody mentioned masturbation is itself a strong clue to its percieved "immorality" - especially when the catholic attitude to all things sexual is taken into account.

What's the 'Catholic attitude to all things sexual'?

You'd know better than I would. From what I understand, it's very negative and shame-based.



It's a shame that the religious are so eager to poison such a simple (and healthy) pleasures.

While it's a shame that so many religious people make sex itself seem bad, it's equally a shame that so many atheists make sex seem trivial.

No need for a tit-for-tat argument. You asked for an atheist's view. Anyway, no specific group has a monopoly on trivializing sex, and nobody with an reasonably mature understanding of sex thinks it is trivial.
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slo1
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2/8/2013 4:45:01 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/7/2013 9:29:48 PM, GarretKadeDupre wrote:
Alright, this feels really weird to be discussing with a bunch of strangers, but I've been wondering...

Even though I was raised in a religious (should I say, perversely, fanatically religious) household, I was never taught about the immorality of masturbation. However, when I discovered it around age 10, I assumed it was wrong and constantly swore to God that I'd quit (never managed that yet).

My question is, why the hell did I think it was immoral unless it was because of some moral code God wrote on my heart?

I'm especially interested in answers from atheists.

Maybe the real question is, "Why did you not feel guilt while in the act and only after the act of masturbation?"

There are one of two reasons to your question. Even though you don't remember, all boys touch their private parts as a part of development. Usually around age 2 parents start to admonish their boys when they touch their wing dings because it is not socially acceptable to do that in public. Your guilt is not God implanted, it is parent implanted whether you recall it or not.

Then you need to ask, why your guilt is generally not present during the act and intensifies after. For that you will have to do your studies. Sexual release is a true release in that it releases powerful chemicals in one's brain. I would not be surprised if those chemicals some how better enable the mechanisms and chemicals in the part of the brain that deal with feeling of guilt. Possibly the opposite is true. The state of desire somehow suppresses the mechanisms involved with generating a feeling of guilt. Either way you are dealing with brain function, not God function.
Franz_Reynard
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2/8/2013 4:47:35 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/8/2013 9:38:15 AM, bladerunner060 wrote:
At 2/8/2013 5:23:07 AM, GarretKadeDupre wrote:
At 2/7/2013 11:04:38 PM, bladerunner060 wrote:
Because our society stigmatizes sex to a ridiculous degree.

What? No. That's ridiculous. Our society goes out of its way to promote sex.


Really? I think you're mistaken.

We have an undercurrent of sexuality, yes, which can seem to "promote sex", but we're quite "sex negative", to the point where nudity is worse than violence, as Skepsikyma noted. And sex is never talked about specifically, you'll note. Nope; there's something wrong with sex, so there have to be euphemisms.

How many years did Lucy and Ricky have to sleep in separate twin beds?
How big was the fine for the accidental nip-slip at a superbowl?
What gets you an R-rating the fastest?

Agreed.
Nidhogg
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2/8/2013 4:56:24 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
I really don't see a problem. I mean, God gave us the ability to jack off, I assume He meant for it to be used.
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GarretKadeDupre
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2/8/2013 5:00:44 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/8/2013 4:56:24 PM, Nidhogg wrote:
I really don't see a problem. I mean, God gave us the ability to jack off, I assume He meant for it to be used.

Aren't you Catholic? Catholic Dogma says masturbation is a mortal sin.
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Nidhogg
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2/8/2013 5:11:05 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/8/2013 5:00:44 PM, GarretKadeDupre wrote:
At 2/8/2013 4:56:24 PM, Nidhogg wrote:
I really don't see a problem. I mean, God gave us the ability to jack off, I assume He meant for it to be used.

Aren't you Catholic? Catholic Dogma says masturbation is a mortal sin.

Is there any biblical evidence to suggest this to be true?
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