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Domestic violence

Cermank
Posts: 3,773
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2/17/2013 3:07:41 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
I just saw a man beat up his wife. A girl could have died, all because I felt 'awkward' checking out the source of the noice. There was a broken TV, a broken fridge, a broken wallclock, and I felt like I was interfering. I imagined them having wild sex and knocking things out, rather than coming to the obvious conclusion.

Don't ever ignore something like that. A minute of Awkwardness is infinitely preferable to self loathing.
bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
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2/17/2013 3:37:38 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/17/2013 3:35:56 PM, quarterexchange wrote:
Shouldn't this belong in the "Funny" category?

...
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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2/17/2013 4:46:34 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/17/2013 3:07:41 PM, Cermank wrote:
I just saw a man beat up his wife. A girl could have died, all because I felt 'awkward' checking out the source of the noice. There was a broken TV, a broken fridge, a broken wallclock, and I felt like I was interfering. I imagined them having wild sex and knocking things out, rather than coming to the obvious conclusion.

Don't ever ignore something like that. A minute of Awkwardness is infinitely preferable to self loathing.

Awful. When I was a child, I witnessed a brutal domestic incident. I didnt know what to do. The woman was so frantically yelling at me to call 911 that I couldnt understand what she was saying. There was a 4 year old there who I took into a room and covered the ears of. To this day he does not remember the incident so I'm thankful I helped in some way. When the guy dragged the woman out to the front yard, down the sidewalk, to the street, a neighbor heard and called the cops. He was arrested and not allowed to see the woman for a while via restraining order. Her legs and arms were destroyed from being drug along the concrete. It was terrible. Shes ok today, however. All that led to this was her asking him where he had been all night ( out drinking) and she threatened to leave him. As it turns out, he was actually cheating on her. It was insane. One of the top reasons, if not the top reason, women go to the emergency room in america is due to domestic violence. I agree it is important to interfere. Her life may well be in imminent danger- especially if there is a gun on the premises as women are far more likely to be murdered by a partner than anybody else.
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
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2/17/2013 7:48:05 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/17/2013 4:46:34 PM, Oryus wrote:
At 2/17/2013 3:07:41 PM, Cermank wrote:
I just saw a man beat up his wife. A girl could have died, all because I felt 'awkward' checking out the source of the noice. There was a broken TV, a broken fridge, a broken wallclock, and I felt like I was interfering. I imagined them having wild sex and knocking things out, rather than coming to the obvious conclusion.

Don't ever ignore something like that. A minute of Awkwardness is infinitely preferable to self loathing.

Awful. When I was a child, I witnessed a brutal domestic incident. I didnt know what to do. The woman was so frantically yelling at me to call 911 that I couldnt understand what she was saying. There was a 4 year old there who I took into a room and covered the ears of. To this day he does not remember the incident so I'm thankful I helped in some way. When the guy dragged the woman out to the front yard, down the sidewalk, to the street, a neighbor heard and called the cops. He was arrested and not allowed to see the woman for a while via restraining order. Her legs and arms were destroyed from being drug along the concrete. It was terrible. Shes ok today, however. All that led to this was her asking him where he had been all night ( out drinking) and she threatened to leave him. As it turns out, he was actually cheating on her. It was insane. One of the top reasons, if not the top reason, women go to the emergency room in america is due to domestic violence. I agree it is important to interfere. Her life may well be in imminent danger- especially if there is a gun on the premises as women are far more likely to be murdered by a partner than anybody else.

That's really horrible.
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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2/17/2013 7:57:01 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/17/2013 7:48:05 PM, bossyburrito wrote:
At 2/17/2013 4:46:34 PM, Oryus wrote:
At 2/17/2013 3:07:41 PM, Cermank wrote:
I just saw a man beat up his wife. A girl could have died, all because I felt 'awkward' checking out the source of the noice. There was a broken TV, a broken fridge, a broken wallclock, and I felt like I was interfering. I imagined them having wild sex and knocking things out, rather than coming to the obvious conclusion.

Don't ever ignore something like that. A minute of Awkwardness is infinitely preferable to self loathing.

Awful. When I was a child, I witnessed a brutal domestic incident. I didnt know what to do. The woman was so frantically yelling at me to call 911 that I couldnt understand what she was saying. There was a 4 year old there who I took into a room and covered the ears of. To this day he does not remember the incident so I'm thankful I helped in some way. When the guy dragged the woman out to the front yard, down the sidewalk, to the street, a neighbor heard and called the cops. He was arrested and not allowed to see the woman for a while via restraining order. Her legs and arms were destroyed from being drug along the concrete. It was terrible. Shes ok today, however. All that led to this was her asking him where he had been all night ( out drinking) and she threatened to leave him. As it turns out, he was actually cheating on her. It was insane. One of the top reasons, if not the top reason, women go to the emergency room in america is due to domestic violence. I agree it is important to interfere. Her life may well be in imminent danger- especially if there is a gun on the premises as women are far more likely to be murdered by a partner than anybody else.

That's really horrible.

It was pretty bad. They divorced years ago.
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
johnnyboy54
Posts: 6,362
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2/17/2013 8:17:33 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/17/2013 4:46:34 PM, Oryus wrote:
At 2/17/2013 3:07:41 PM, Cermank wrote:
I just saw a man beat up his wife. A girl could have died, all because I felt 'awkward' checking out the source of the noice. There was a broken TV, a broken fridge, a broken wallclock, and I felt like I was interfering. I imagined them having wild sex and knocking things out, rather than coming to the obvious conclusion.

Don't ever ignore something like that. A minute of Awkwardness is infinitely preferable to self loathing.

Awful. When I was a child, I witnessed a brutal domestic incident. I didnt know what to do. The woman was so frantically yelling at me to call 911 that I couldnt understand what she was saying. There was a 4 year old there who I took into a room and covered the ears of. To this day he does not remember the incident so I'm thankful I helped in some way. When the guy dragged the woman out to the front yard, down the sidewalk, to the street, a neighbor heard and called the cops. He was arrested and not allowed to see the woman for a while via restraining order. Her legs and arms were destroyed from being drug along the concrete. It was terrible. Shes ok today, however. All that led to this was her asking him where he had been all night ( out drinking) and she threatened to leave him. As it turns out, he was actually cheating on her. It was insane. One of the top reasons, if not the top reason, women go to the emergency room in america is due to domestic violence. I agree it is important to interfere. Her life may well be in imminent danger- especially if there is a gun on the premises as women are far more likely to be murdered by a partner than anybody else.

Sounds like these people need to get their a$$ beat.
I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.
bladerunner060
Posts: 7,126
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2/17/2013 9:20:19 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
It's interesting that I just witnessed something myself, tonight, that had me thinking along these type of Kitty Genovese lines.

In my case, I saw 2 dudes holding down another person who was screaming for people to call the police. it turned out that the person was an escapee from a group home for "kids" (I use the term loosely on 17-year-olds with behavioral problems). I stayed on scene until the cops showed up, even though the group home guys (who weren't in uniform) told me I could "go on and continue my business".

If there's violence, there is always cause to interfere, if only by standing there, showing that you're a witness. Luckily, the guys in my situation had good cause for what they did, and they did not use excessive force (which was my concern...even if I accepted their story from the outset, I knew there was a chance of excessive force).

"Awkwardness" or the "bystander effect" needs to go away, and the only way it goes away is if we talk about it, and we decide "Nope, not giving in to this".
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TolerantSpirit
Posts: 37
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2/18/2013 3:23:09 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/17/2013 3:07:41 PM, Cermank wrote:
I just saw a man beat up his wife. A girl could have died, all because I felt 'awkward' checking out the source of the noice. There was a broken TV, a broken fridge, a broken wallclock, and I felt like I was interfering. I imagined them having wild sex and knocking things out, rather than coming to the obvious conclusion.

Don't ever ignore something like that. A minute of Awkwardness is infinitely preferable to self loathing.

This is where you decide to see a therapist.
Think before you talk.
royalpaladin
Posts: 22,357
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2/19/2013 5:42:28 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Once, when I was in a hotel, I heard a man beating a woman in the room next to mine. I wanted to call the police, but my mom told me not to get involved. I think a lot of people are afraid of getting involved because they do not want to be targeted next.
vbaculum
Posts: 1,274
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2/19/2013 11:30:40 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/19/2013 5:42:28 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
Once, when I was in a hotel, I heard a man beating a woman in the room next to mine. I wanted to call the police, but my mom told me not to get involved. I think a lot of people are afraid of getting involved because they do not want to be targeted next.

I would just keep a safe distance. An anonymous and friendly knock on the door to check if everything is okay should be more than enough. Domestic violence is domestic for a reason; abusive men fear intervention from the law and society, and know they are running a risk by disrupting the peace. Regardless, I would stress a safe distance and anonymity.
"If you claim to value nonviolence and you consume animal products, you need to rethink your position on nonviolence." - Gary Francione

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